Log 1 Matter | Antimatter

by Selina Brown

  That night, he lay on top of the covers, and watched and listened to the storm with his arms behind his head. Sleep came easier on nights like this, which annoyed him because these were the nights he wanted to stay awake.

  It took another six weeks before he “disappeared”.

  Jamie woke with a start. Two figures loomed over him in the dark. Outside he heard the wind tearing through the trees and rumbles of thunder in the distance. Rain bombarded his window. One of the figures gently pressed on his shoulder until he gained his senses. They flicked on a main light and showed him the queen’s seal as he swung his legs out of the bed. He checked the credentials, a little annoyed he hadn’t woken up before they touched him on the shoulder. Both were dressed in dark clothes and were hooded but the female wasn’t muting her energy.

  Jamie gritted his teeth but forced himself to say, “I accept.” He started to look around but, as the female shook her head, he clenched his hands into a fist, angry that she was in his room studying his body with interest. Suddenly, she turned away and left the room. After a slight hesitation the male stepped forward and injected something into his skin. “Get dressed, warm is good.”

  As Jamie dressed he rubbed his arm, aware the female had tested him and that he had failed that test. What would that mean for him? More stupid counseling? The male held out his arm, indicating the door, and Jamie strode out leaving his life behind, looking ahead to start anew.

  Excitement filled him as he sat in an unmarked roader. He barely noted the scenery except that the rain pelted down on the front windscreen and wind lashed at the trees on either side. They entered the airport via a route Jamie had never been on before, but once through a gate he noted they were at the back of the spaceport. Next to a small hangar on the tarmac was an unmarked, dark ranger, cigar shaped, but his thoughts drifted to Rya. He wasn’t allowed to contact anyone, not for ten years. He stepped up a metal ladder and over the rim of the hatch, and a crew member dressed in nondescript, black clothing led him down a narrow passage, up a level, and then to a tiny cabin, single berth. It had an even tinier shower and toilet. Jamie barely noted the “décor” of the ranger interior except that it was mostly straight walls inside with dark grey panels hiding essential systems. The flooring was standard and what Jamie called “spongy grill” matting that seemed to grip footwear and absorb noise.

  He took his meals, generally ignored by the others on the ranger, but his eyes took in everything. By the end, Jamie realized he’d filled his mind with useless crap.

  Iota Military Location Delta

  Sitting in a small recreation room with several harness seats and small tables bolted to the flooring, he watched the ranger dock with a larger space vessel on the main screen. He stood up when told, and waited by the main trap. Everything was nondescript and “blah”. Was that on purpose? He wasn’t overly impressed with the hatches opened on both sides of the trap. In front of him the male Jamie met in the theatre, this time all in black, was standing in the tube waiting. Others he’d seen, but not talked to, filed through. Jamie made to follow but the male held up his hand. The dark orange hair and freckles on the backs of his hands hadn’t been noticeable in the dark movie theatre.

  “Jamie Livio Raner, I want a quick verbal list of at least fifty things you observed on the way here.”

  Jamie listed them easily, even categorizing them, but the male only nodded, giving no indication of whether he was impressed. Jamie had heard about micro expressions but had no training to identify them. At least the “crap” had become useful after all.

  “Step across and you accept that you are a cadet with a training establishment dedicated to the Sentinel Program. You will accept every part of your training as being necessary. Questions are permitted. If you disagree with your training assignment now, we’ll provide you with documentation on which you must sign your acceptance to have your mind wiped from this moment to a moment before you were woken from your bed.”

  He asked, “The injection?” It was most likely some kind of false memory adhesion. All of his memories from an hour before he was injected would collect and build on the false node. Anyway, wasn’t it a bit late to be telling him this now? But then it was harder to leave.

  There was a slight nod and Jamie detected a hint of a smile. Had the male heard his thoughts? And Jamie was a little disappointed. The Sentinel Program? It wasn’t quite what he had in mind.

  “Is there … a possibility of changing to … um … another role?” Should he have asked his name? In Aryan Society it was polite to offer it but this might be his handler, which required a more unusual relationship. Ryama had told him that often handlers chose their own cadets.

  “Yes, but it is what you will excel at. Be assured of that. You will be expected to train and then work as a Sentinel. Ten years after your first job, should you choose to do so, you may then reapply.”

  “Ah.” He almost turned it down. He lifted his eyes then. “What or who might I be a Sentinel for?”

  “A person of power. People. Secrets. Things of power.”

  So not babysitting.

  Jamie happily stepped through to his new life not forgetting people started off as babies but that his handler said “a person of power”. What baby was powerful? He was happy in his version of the truth as he really wanted this new life.

  “Oh, Jamie.”

  He turned.

  “We’ve cleared your tools. It’s good to keep your hobby.”

  He’d been woodworking ever since the execution, and carved new life into old, restored furnishings and art; built new furniture from old. When he worked with wood it soothed his soul, occupied his mind, and aligned his energy. He would do anything but babysit. He held to that firm thought and smiled.

  Sub-Log II

  Iota Military Location Alpha

  On his sixty-second birthday Jamie was done with cadets and was seconded to the Aryan Military. His body was lean and he was super fit. As to his mind, when he had first arrived he noted that almost every other cadet was Avatara Modernus and below. Of the Eight Races in Aryan Society, only one race was represented on his course, the Eighth Race. They’d placed him in “prep” school and he tried not to be too sour about it. As it turned out, he barely managed to cope with females in command and they were all lower matter and energy rated than he was.

  He was now in Naleli Station, Warrex. The Fourteenth Regional Queen ruled in the station with three warlords. There were many military training bases on planets in systems within Naleli to explore. Ready for the next phase and somewhat excited, his expectations to have some time to “play” were quickly destroyed. This was no school academy or training for newbies. From the moment he stepped foot on Warrex he began to learn and was treated like an operative. He was expected to meet the standards of conduct, academia, fitness, and extra-curricular activities. They drove their operatives on pride, quality, and innovation.

  He was shown to a bare and tiny room. It was much like a cell. Not another test! He tossed his bag on the cold floor, disgusted with the place. There was a bed to his right, and that was it. Others were provided opulent suites, with service, and some ribbed, teased and grumbled. No one was told why they had been given the different rooms. Most laughed at Jamie’s cell, not that it mattered as he had no close friends, certainly nothing romantic. He loved doing what he was doing. Love could wait. Sex was still … confusing. Indulgences were accepted but he’d rather use his time to learn.

  ***

  Just a few years later, Jamie packed up a small bag and left for his very first assignment. At first, when people he knew went missing he’d ask questions, until he learned to keep his mouth shut. Now he was going without notice. Their teachers expected it, which is why any training revolved around the core work—covert operations. So, if a teacher went missing, and another stepped in, it was business as usual. And occasionally, with that change, the program would change. If you weren’t flexible enough to cope, you were shown the door.

  Jamie made h
is way to the space elevator and watched the view via a monitor as it rose through the atmosphere. Two hours later an announcement boomed into the tiny compartment telling the passengers they were about to activate the HaV intercept. The intercept cut the overall ride from nine days to ten hours. So, after another six hours a second announcement informed them they exited HaV and deactivated the intercept. Jamie looked at the wall monitor. They were finally in space. Once docked, two hours later, he walked through the orbital station to the designated ranger hangar and saw a nondescript shuttle. He boarded and took a seat. There were two other people that he didn’t recognize, one slept and another read.

  Repco

  Jamie was too nervous to sleep or read so by the time they docked with a ranger in geosynchronous orbit, he was keyed up and keen to get to work, having studied the schematics of the ranger external and internal views and systems. His shuttle companions disappeared down a corridor but a sharp looking ranger private led him to the bridge. Well, not right to the main bridge but to the forward station.

  “Raner reporting for duty, ma’am.” Jamie kept his eyes forward. He knew this was a test straight away as they put him under the command of a female. There was nothing secret about this, he was told he was under special review to ensure he could work under powerful women. He had merely nodded, a little contemptuously, and now? He felt perspiration under his arms.

  She studied him. Her eyes were blue, her hair brunette. She had a strong face and her eyes flicked down to his visitor ident. “You are assigned to the mobile recons. Report to your direct supervisor. You are dismissed.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He turned.

  “Oh, and Jamie?”

  He snapped back, his heart now pounded.

  “Welcome on board the Repco.”

  He felt the slightest brush of her mind against his, but it was not intrusive. He considered it more like meaningful eye contact. “Thank you, Captain.”

  Clenching his balled up fists helped him manage his overreaction but he unclenched them a little when they both heard his knuckles crack. She gave him a little smile. He had been told he had to find ways to work through his fears identified during his training. He made his way through the narrow companionways uncomfortably aware that the crew members were female. His direct supervisor, surprise, surprise, was a female. She looked a little similar to Leanne—black hair, dark eyes, olive skin, of medium height, and shapely. But she was distracted as she read a report on her wall module.

  He was perspiring profusely now.

  It was a good thing his handler wasn’t here asking him what he’d observed because Jamie couldn’t remember a bloody thing from just before reporting to the captain.

  “Lieutenant Raner.” Her voice was stern but not unfriendly. “Lieutenant Jennifer Johns will take you on your induction tour, acquaint you with our security and safety procedures. I’ll expect a risk assessment from you on my desk after you complete the tour test.”

  Lieutenant Jennifer—a forewarning that it was another female. That was nice of the major.

  “Yes, Major Karr.” Jamie was relieved his voice was steady even as he heard his knuckles crack again. He was sure his face was flaming red when Karr glanced down at his fists. His handler had warned him it was a dangerous and telling habit that he had to try to control if not break.

  She seemed almost bored though. “As soon as it’s completed we can give you your indent but for the moment if there’s an emergency the visitor indent will tell any crew to look after you.”

  He’d been told twice already, once before he boarded, once as he had boarded, and now. She must have seen his expression. “The captain is aiming for the ‘Safe Ranger Award’. Don’t stuff it up.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I mean, no, ma’am.”

  He was given one tour by the bright Jennifer, a petite brunette who liked to wave her hands around as she spoke in a pleasant, high-pitched voice, and then she handed him a tablet. “You press ‘start’, and then you need to find the locations, key in the positions and codes, and send it to Major Karr when you are done. You have fifteen minutes. Immediately after, you are to go down to the evac tube, suit up, put together three items needed for EEVA…”

  Jamie mentally recalled it was Evacuation for Extravehicular Activity but that’s about all he could recall.

  “…and I’ll come down and grade you on your suit, equipment, and ability to follow protocols.”

  He nodded and pressed ‘start’. “Thank you, Lieutenant.” He stared blankly at the tablet for a moment unable to read the map or words. “Get a grip, Jamie.”

  A crew member laughed at him as he strode past. “Just don’t fuck up the captain’s safety rating, sir. Good luck.”

  Relief filled him, not over the words but that there was another male on board. He flushed recalling now that there’d been a lot of males, he had just panicked. He looked at the tablet screen again. “Excellent, I can read again.”

  Fifteen minutes appeared on the tablet. He had to go to E deck, section Green, corridor Eight. He moved quickly, climbed down two levels, studied the map on the side of the wall, headed to Green, and Eight. He found a safety port, recorded what it was, and the code. The next place was cargo. That was easy to find. He had five minutes. He ran to the ladder and climbed up, decided it was the quickest way, but when he reached level four he couldn’t reach Red because of some sealed hatchways flashing ‘orange’. Orange was no go. There was no one around so he checked the route and headed back, running out of time. He paused. Should he get to the last location or go direct to the evac tube no. 8? He’d get to the tube on time, but his tour would be unfinished. He checked the route map and saw the code for the safety valve he was supposed to record. It might not be correct, or part of the test.

  Jamie headed to the last location, recorded the code and pressed ‘send’ before picking up a key-like object with his name on it. He took it with him to the evac tube. As he entered the tube he waited a little impatiently for hatches to open. The instructions had specific details for closing them but also clear pictures. It became clear that a three tiered system for all processes existed, and was standard, on most military rangers: hard copy on durable papir, soft copy usually tablets and Ebrains, and a virtual holo system that tapped into the Aryan implants. To his left was a small GELpad with marker indicating that the virtual system was “off”. All newbies evidently had to use hard copies first. Now that he was inside another tiny, rectangular room full of equipment lashed to the walls or floors, he checked the instructions on the suit attached to the wall. It had been made especially for him but, despite the good fit, he found it bulky as he started on the three pieces of equipment. He hadn’t quite finished when Jennifer cycled in. She tapped at her head and smiled at him. “I’m resetting the virtual system.”

  Jamie decided to use the hard and soft copy versions to get around the ranger. “I was late in the tour.” He didn’t like to make excuses so just pointed out the obvious instead. He saw her grin.

  “I’ll check your suit and then, while I inspect the first two pieces, you can finish the third.” She moved up to him.

  He stood, a little nervously, while she examined the suit. “Did you check to ensure this room had O2?”

  Duh. “Yes.” The specs came to mind, all military rangers usually had up to seventy percent of space inside depressurized. His eyes locked on to hers, and then followed her movements, her hands. Did she know? Was she aware of how stiff he was, every muscle tight in fear? Not fear of females but fear of being prey again.

  In a chirpy voice, she declared, “All good.” She went to the EEVA scanner unit and began to check the components. He knelt down and completed assembling the maintenance and repair robot with nanites kept in special vials. Jennifer moved over and inspected the robot. “Good. I’ll send my report to Major Karr, she’s expecting you.”

  He nodded, and began to undress, mindful of the fact she hadn’t left. Most people wouldn’t even be bothered by it. He peeled off the base suit,
aware the top smelled, and climbed into his own standard, black ranger overalls. But he manfully continued, packed up and reattached the suit to the wall, and almost opened the hatch in a rush to get out without thinking. He paused and checked the instructions. He had to ask Jennifer to stand behind the yellow line. After she moved, with a grin, he cycled out. Jennifer was as much a predator as a teddy bear was. But he was mindful that, through his skewed filters, he was seeing monsters everywhere and it was affecting his cognitive abilities. He wiped the sweat off his top lip and found a toilet to splash some water over his face, using a ration of his supply.

  He reported to Major Karr, verbally going through the tour, his impressions and the test results.

  “Did you check the equipment bay had oxygen?”

  For a microsecond he paused. Did he? Doubt filled him but he quickly replayed his actions. He distinctly remembered checking O2 levels. “Yes, ma’am.”

  With a final nod, she gave him an ident but told him to keep hold of his visitor one as well, and he was shown to his room by a short male. “This is yours while you are here.”