by Selina Brown
“Caleb, it’s okay. We’ll be okay.” Within Ara was a raging war that she did not understand. On one hand she wanted to give in and yell at him, hurt him like he did her, and never see him again. On the other hand, she felt deep compassion, an unfathomable depth of benevolence and wisdom that came from the ages.
It was only after that Ara realized that Caleb had crumbled his own barriers and their thoughts were a jumbled mess. He pulled back, feeling her hand close to his neck, comforting him. His throat had a lump in it hearing her words, focusing on something other than the issue.
“Caleb?” she kissed him lightly, seeing his fears. He didn’t want to resent his baby. “I meant, ‘Monkey’. Your daughter will be beautiful and I will love her too.”
They hugged again, tightly. They both felt something break in their love, but they both clung on to what was left. The worst bit was they didn’t know what to say as they sat on the end of her bed facing the open door.
“Do you still want to visit the Sable Co?” His voice was dull, punctuated with sobs.
He sounded so young to her! Ara heard everything he struggled to say but couldn’t. “Yes, and with you. Henry said he might see us there.” Why had she waited for the chain? It had taken over a year. He would have loved what she had made.
He stood and wiped his eyes. “I should have told you straight away.”
“I should have asked you to exchange vows with me sooner. It’s done. Let’s move on.” She smiled for him after her slightly sharp tone, and they left the room with Caleb clutching her hand. He looked back at the box, and then at her. But she couldn’t give it to him because the war that raged inside her burned fiercely and she fought to find middle ground. Since she did not know what side would win, she chose to wait. He turned, shattered, and led her out. Mum and Dad seemed relieved seeing them like that, while Meg became teary. Ara didn’t care about her, but worried about the baby. During the week that followed, Ara spent some time in bed.
She struggled to get out and face the world.
Meg had already moved out—to her new royal life.
Ara’s dreams were tearful as well. For a few days, it just seemed as if she went to sleep crying, dreamed about crying, and woke with tears in her eyes. One night she dreamed she was with Trickster but had burst into tears when her eyes opened to see the hut and Trickster squatting in front of her ready to tell her something, and she cried the whole time. For a second she was angry at him but he’d said he was watching over Caleb, not controlling him. He patted her head, gave her the Strike to cuddle, and then morphed into a wolf lying on the bed with her. Strangely, it was comforting to grip the fur and she fell asleep to waken much stronger.
Korbet contacted her on the second day and while she was in bed, mostly mumbling, he suggested something that gave her some hope to calm the raging war inside her. Caleb readily agreed and they began a special process to heal trust and despair. In the end it was Terzon who helped them the most. Even so, everything between Ara and Caleb was still awkward.
The week after their healing/therapy week, Caleb picked her up and they went to Toga’s Sable Co. office. Sacha had a few scathing things to say in the morning about how she wouldn’t be talking to Caleb. How could Ara try to make Sacha see that somehow she felt Caleb’s pain more than her own? She had tried almost everything in her wardrobe and, in the end, Ersen came to help her. Everything was awkward. Caleb didn’t know if he should put on music. Ara held her hands on her lap not wanting to “paw” the car. He wanted to visit Sable Co.’s headquarters in the Cradle but he couldn’t get permission and he kept apologizing to her. “They are building some new Black Hole Engine for the Warlords…”
Ara had never heard Caleb speak so much. After he parked outside the city, they couldn’t get out the vehicle fast enough, walking briskly but then arriving early having to wait in the lobby. At least there were large images and diagrams to read and study.
“Welcome, my lady. Prince Caleb, good to see you.” The Executive Director greeted them thinking them eager—and not just keen to be distracted from their pain—so he took them on a personal tour. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t get you into our head office, but we have a sable engine being constructed right now.”
Ara wanted to say something facetious but she didn’t have the heart. Caleb had told her twice already and he was so crestfallen her heart ached for him as much as for herself. Ara unclenched her fists seeing Caleb’s face pale.
“…and over here we have…”
Ara almost ran out but she felt her guard’s heartbeat. He was close by, comforting. Ara leaned on him and he soothed her. She was feeling a little better after a half hour and glanced at Caleb as the smartly dressed young executive led them up several floors to a viewing room. There was even a meal and drinks for them. Her stomach grumbled loudly but she didn’t care since she hadn’t eaten for a few days. They filled their plates and then sat looking down and across the workroom. Caleb’s plate was as full as hers and now she studied him closely, he was as gaunt as she was. While they ate, special floating holos moved around the workroom highlighting, with labels, all the various activities. “The black hole for this engine, the MonoSable, is mid-range small.” The details sprung up in front of them. Both he and Ara read the information until the ED laughed. “I’ll give you a datacap, we like our pilots to know about their engines.”
Ara leaned back and glanced up at him. “Do the Black Hole Hunters work from here?” It was the only form of hunting she and Caleb didn’t argue over.
The ED nodded. “We have six stationed here permanently but they have to leave for periods of time. I’ve arranged for you to meet one of the newer hunters. The others are out at the moment.”
Eric, the new hunter, was happy to talk about his experiences. The process was a little boring—scan, prepare the rangers, bag the “hole”, and contain it for calibration, testing, and to sit in the housing before fitting into a ranger.
“I hear you both have Seekers, I hunted for one of those Black Holes.”
A. I hope that’s in yours, Monkey
She smiled inanely at Eric.
C. Of course, Baby
They smiled at each other when Eric turned to the view of the chamber that they kept the Black Hole in, and some of their pain eased away. Her eyes locked on to his but they broke the gaze at the same moment. Even in using the affectionate names, some of the meaning had been lost. Rather than nicknames, they had become painful terms of endearment, except Ara thought that Caleb still meant his as a nickname as well as endearment.
Ara’s fears grew. She felt more alone than ever now that she no longer had Caleb. He kept trying to reach her but she struggled to make him her friend. She didn’t want him as a friend, she had wanted to marry him.
***
Ara buried herself in her studies at university and work at the wildlife park. But she was also training to get her license for her Seeker. There were theory and practical components in a simulator, smaller rangers, and then finally her Seeker. Since she wasn’t allowed to exit the lower atmosphere she had to wait for her space training. But they still put her through the theory.
One night, she and Jesran were sitting on the cliff overlooking the Darina Ocean and eating dinner. Jesran cooked over a small fire nestled under a ledge where they put their swags.
“How are the flying lessons?”
She shrugged. “Flying is alright. I’m not allowed out the atmosphere yet to range. But it’s good otherwise. I sat in a class learning about rangers and other species.”
He frowned. “We did all that in basic.”
“Yeah, but the Aryan Space Service has a different perspective.” She paused dramatically. “A Ved’ra ranger class Hydra comes at you as you prepare to dive into HaV. What do you do? Drop into HaV, stay and fight, or send out an emergency call? Everything is danger, dangerous, or will ram you, board you, or strip you of your belongings.”
Jesran laughed at her. “Sounds … dangerous. How did you answer tha
t question?”
“I said I would HaV it up to the Cradle and draw the maggots for the warlords to get them.”
Jesran burst out laughing.
She leaned back but glanced at him. “I still haven’t been chosen for an apprenticeship yet. What’s wrong with me?”
Jesran swallowed a spoonful of beans. “Nothing. Maybe Kavela has some paperwork to do.”
She stared at him until he laughed. She said, “Caleb was the youngest chosen and he has already finished his pre-training. While I’m becoming the oldest chosen.” She muttered darkly, “If Kavela doesn’t change his mind again.” It was easy to start adding people to her hate list, but for some reason Caleb’s name never ended up on the list for long, only after an irrational outburst.
He looked a little uneasy. “I heard he won’t be ready for another two hundred and thirty years.”
“Two hundred and thirty years!” She put her plate down and raised her knees to hide her face. “How humiliating.” Yep, Kavela was on her hate list.
“You’re a Pure-Gen, Ara. So is he. You run later, I know it’s hard since you are the only PuG to have been made for a thousand years. At least he’s opening his area of Planet Engineering and you are his main candidate. I know the idea that starting your life as an apprentice at over three hundred and ninety is painful.”
She lifted her face and snorted at him. “Geez, thanks.”
In the few interviews she’d had with the Planet Engineer, Kavela seemed to avoid her, and that caused her some concern. Jesran continued as her best friend, supporting her.
“How are Meg and Tara?”
The moment Ara had set eyes on the little strawberry blonde-haired baby she loved her. So, with Caleb and Meg’s approval, Ara took little baby Tara out on picnics and spoiled her. She shrugged. “Meg’s like upper class Inferors while I’ve been relegated to escaping to the tiny dorms.”
“Ara—”
“You’re my friend, aren’t you?”
“Of course. I’m sorry. Feel free to bitch and moan.”
She sat closer to him. “No, I’m sorry. We came out here to have some fun and relax. Not listen to my bitching.”
“What about the moaning then?” He teased as he handed her the plate. “Eat.”
“Why does everyone think food is what makes me happy?”
He shrugged. “Because it does?”
Ara shoved some tasty, melt-on-your-tongue meat in her mouth, and scooped up some carrot. With a mouthful, she said, “Maybe.”
Beachside City
Cobra fumed, staring out at the smooth ocean sparkling in the sunlight. The office was too bright, the day too bright, and there were too many people on the beach having fun.
“Don’t be too disappointed. It’s just the start.”
“Nothing, she didn’t even blink!”
“You worry too much; self-doubts, self-esteem, hurt, pain, and confusion are all consuming her inside.”
Cobra fell back into his chair. “Are you sure?”
Viper smiled smugly. “Oh, I’m sure. We have to chip away at her resilience. I’m energy you know. You only see her Nexus, which is undented, but I can see her in a way you can’t.”
Cobra nodded and smiled, an idea forming. “Since you saved my plan and used ‘lust’ to manipulate Meg and Caleb, what if I disclose that someone deliberately tampered with Pen’s baby? They’ll be even more worried and put under pressure.”
Viper nodded. “Now you are thinking.”
“Are you sure her memory block isn’t eroding?”
This time Viper looked uneasy. “I’ll check.”
Jamie’s Cabin
Jamie worked in the stable. It had rained on the ride home. He was due some time off again but thought back to when he had heard of Caleb and Meg’s baby, he had hurt as much as Ara. He had cancelled his holiday after he found out Ara struggled to get out of bed and refused all meals. They had watched the two when on Saratoga but it wasn’t Jamie’s job to watch Meg when off world—not that he could have interfered anyway. He and the others had all been talking of her gift to Caleb, her offer of a more solid relationship. They couldn’t even soothe or support her openly, only grieve silently for her wounded heart. So he had kept watch. She was entitled to no privacy but it never seemed to deter her. And Jamie discovered Caleb was equally as heartbroken. That gave him pause to think about “why”. He read the latest report on Ara; after studying and growing bored, she turned back to making jewelry. Jamie finished brushing Dagma, his new stallion who was a bit of a doofus, and went to shower before making dinner. He spotted a parcel on his bed. That was odd. Jamie wearily walked over and picked it up. He wanted to run scans on it, but there was a little note from Diane.
“It’s from Ara. Cleared.”
He unwrapped it with a grin, feeling a little foolish. What had she given him? She knew the daggers and knives were from him. Was this some joke or a return? He flushed then. Don’t be stupid. Not a joke, she was still too forlorn. He threw the paper on the bed, feeling like a kid, and opened the dark grey velvet-covered box.
It had been a long time since someone had given him a gift out of the blue. In fact, Jamie thought back and remembered that Ryama had been the last to have left a gift for him. He lifted the leather thong, and watched as the black stone worked into a jagged infinity symbol, and dangled. Jamie went to tie it around his neck but thought better of it. Shower first. He dropped the box and spotted the note. “Thank you for Jesran.”
The little minx, she was smarter about her security than he’d given her credit for. How much did Ara actually remember before she was placed into a baby biosuit, and how often did Maya talk to her via the Cardinal Unit? Jesran reported his age was still fluctuating corresponding to Ara’s fluctuations, but less than when they first met. The entropy was stabilizing, but not stopping. Whatever Maya was doing to control Ara’s instability; she was doing more of it now that Ara was older. That could only mean one thing; Ara was growing more powerful. He had a quick shower and tied the necklace around his neck. He must not ever underestimate her or forget that he held a privileged position in her life.
His Voice beeped. It was Diane. “Hi, what’s up?”
“You aren’t due for a report on Ara’s age fluctuations but I was just reviewing them during the time that coincided with Caleb and Meg’s news.”
This made him sit down on the bed hearing excitement and incredulity blended in Diane’s tone. “I’m sitting down.”
“Good. The down movement was only slight as one would expect. But her age shifted so far up the scale, in terms of being old, we couldn’t read it.”
“Nuts!”
Light laughter filtered through the Voice. “That’s not all. Caleb apparently tried to force his way to see Ara, and defied his father, and had made some declaration—and this was all before he and Meg had done the dirty deed—that we aren’t exactly sure what triggered the Cardinal Unit to send sentries and arrest him.”
Jamie fell off the bed.
“Are you okay?”
He scrambled up. “Go on.”
“That little bit of news just came from Korbet. He said something odd too. He said to watch our two little blackbirds. He told me to tell you to read the old blackbirds song. Don’t bother, I looked it up. It says, ‘Two little blackbirds are playing tricks, pulling up the twigs and laying down some sticks. Poke a little hole and all go tumbling in. But don’t forget the blackbirds atop the nest who will trap you in their spin.’ So, mean anything to you?”
Jamie groaned. “Unfortunately, yes. Let me get some clothes on and I’ll come and see you.”
Queen Bee
Homestead
Tara giggled as Ara chased her around the pond.
The horses were dozing while standing in the warm sun, and Sacha had come home to spend a few days with her and Tara. They were all in shorts and t-shirts. It had taken her older siblings a long time to stop being angry over her ability to stay friends with Caleb.
“She
really is lively. Much like you were at five years old.” Sacha glanced at the bulwark-jamming device Ara was placing on the picnic basket.
“Precautionary, Sach.” Ara sat down, smiling. “I’ll say but very pretty.” Caleb told her Meg was concerned over some strange age fluctuations when Tara’s last test came back a few months younger.
Sacha took out and prepared the bubble maker, and gave Tara the wand. Tara ran around laughing as a trail of bubbles floated behind her. “How’s Mum?”
They watched Tara play, and Ara began to unpack the basket. “She’s working hard. It’s really messed her up especially with the recent news reports triggering her own grief again.”
“What about those rumors?”
Ara looked at Sacha sharply. “Not here.”
There were more rumors that babies were dying, someone was killing them. Ara just couldn’t understand why anyone would do that. What sort of world did they live in? Tara tripped and yelped, but, unlike Ara, she just got up and brushed herself off.
Sacha teased Ara. “And she hasn’t charged over here, even after looking at the food.”
“Shut up, sis.” Ara shoved a hunk of cheese in her mouth.
“Honestly, Ara. Where do you put it all? You’re almost rake thin.”
“Stress.” They’d all picked up on “honestly” from their mum, and Dad had shared his wealth of farm swear words.
“And Meg?” Sacha’s words were casual but Ara knew she was getting at something.
Ara shrugged. “If you mean is Meg upset I’m more a mother than she is, the answer’s no. I wish my family would come to me with this rubbish. Caleb is happy, and while he’d prefer Meg to do what I’m doing out of love, Meg is just—”
