Seeds of Summer

by Deborah Vogts

“So you’ve said.” She paused as though considering. “You mentioned before that you helped your granddad on his farm when you were a boy?”

  “Every summer.”

  Her gaze traveled past him to the barnyard. “You probably did your share of haying, then?”

  “I’ve done it all—mowed, raked, and baled.” Jared noticed the tractor parked inside the open machinery shed and recalled that Mr. Adams’ death had been tractor-related. He suspected that Natalie needed help but would rather eat worms than ask for it. “I’d offer my assistance, but I’m sure you’d prefer someone with more experience than a city boy like me.”

  She uttered the softest snort.

  “Of course, then you’d have to worry about them taking advantage of you,” he went on, “like that Tom fellow.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What about your congregation? Wouldn’t another job interfere with your church duties?”

  The unguarded hope in her voice came through loud and clear. “I’d be happy to oblige with whatever you need. Haying, fixing the fence—laundry.” Jared grinned. “I’m sure I could work around my schedule at church. It’d give me something to look forward to. Get me away from my desk and paperwork.”

  She seemed to study him. “Why did you choose to be a pastor? I mean, if you enjoy farm life so much?”

  Jared marveled at the woman’s skill in manipulating a conversation. Somehow she’d managed to turn the wheel away from herself and point the arrow directly at him. “My dad was a pastor, as was my mother’s father.”

  “And you wanted to keep it in the family?”

  “Something like that.” His jaw tightened. The subject still caused his nerves to bristle, even after all this time. He thought he’d surmounted the problem in seminary, but if that were the case, why did he feel such guilt now? “It seemed the right path for me to take.”

  She bit her lip. “You don’t sound very sure.”

  “No, I am.” Jared straightened to his full height, calling on every ounce of confidence he owned. “I loved my granddad and his farm, and I’ll always treasure the time we had. But that chapter’s over.”

  “Sounds like it must have been an important chapter.”

  “It was a good one.” Some days his granddad’s gruff voice tracked him every step like a faithful hunting dog. Jared hated that he’d turned against the man in the end and wished he could redo that part of his life. He cast the futile thought away and stared out at the distant pasture. Lush green bluestem covered the hills, making the white outcroppings all the more noticeable. A Scissor-tailed Flycatcher perched on a nearby fencepost, its sharp raspy chirp drawing his attention.

  Second chances were for the living. Better to learn from his mistakes and find purpose in today. “In the end, I felt called to the ministry.”

  Natalie groaned and stepped away from him.

  “What? Haven’t you ever felt God’s call?”

  She sunk onto the porch step and stretched her legs. “Maybe God doesn’t look out for everyone the way he does you. Maybe our family isn’t good enough to deserve his interest.”

  “No one is good enough in God’s eyes. We don’t earn his mercy.”

  “Well, I don’t remember him ever talking to me, let alone directing my steps.” She stared up at him. “Where was he when my mom died? Or when Libby left? Or how about when Dad was caught under that tractor? Seems if he was going to show up, those would have been good times to do so, don’t you think?”

  “I understand your anger.” Jared sat beside her on the step. “Sometimes it may seem like God has abandoned us, but we aren’t always able to see the big picture. When we do, we realize that he’s been with us all along.”

  The frown on her face showed she wasn’t convinced. “If I hire you to do the haying, will you be able to round up your own work crew?”

  Amused that they’d circled back to the topic of her needing assistance, Jared grinned. “I think some boys from church would be willing to help out.”

  “All right then. Let’s discuss the plans over dinner tonight.”

  Jared hesitated. “Are you sure? Tonight’s a big night for your family.”

  Her forehead wrinkled as she peered at him from the corner of her eye. “I could use the support. It’s not like I can invite Willard, considering his aversion to Libby.” She pursed her lips in appeal. “Please?”

  Unable to take his eyes off her full lips, Jared raised his hands in submission. “When you say it like that, how can I refuse?” Only after the words were spoken did he comprehend the amount of leverage this woman had over him. That, if asked, he would probably do anything for her.

  TWENTY-THREE

  “GOOD, THEN MAYBE YOU’D BE WILLING TO HELP WITH ANOTHER problem as well?” Natalie headed to the front door, not taking time to consider Jared’s deer-in-the-headlights expression. Expecting him to follow, she bounded up the living room stairway. “I’ve been cleaning my dad’s bedroom, and everything is packed in boxes—mostly work clothes, but there are a few western suits. Maybe you know someone who could use them?”

  A quick glance inside the room gave Natalie a moment of satisfaction that her chore was almost done. It also left a hollow pit in her stomach, that their father’s personal possessions would soon be gone. Her eyes pricked with tears, and she hurriedly swiped them away as Jared caught up to her.

  “I’m sure I can find a home for them,” he said at the top of the stairs, a bit winded. “How much do you have?”

  She widened the door to reveal a dozen cardboard boxes. “Think we can fit them in your car?”

  Jared scratched his forehead. “Sure, no problem.”

  Natalie wondered if Jared always displayed such a positive attitude. From what she could tell, the man was optimistic to a fault. What she couldn’t decide was whether this trait was a good thing or a nuisance. She lifted one of the boxes and headed for the stairway.

  “Let me carry that.” He took the bulk from her with ease, and it became apparent that he possessed more strength than she realized.

  Her hands fell to her hips. “I’m not helpless.”

  “I never said you were.” He glanced back with a smirk.

  Fifteen minutes later, they’d managed to fit half the boxes into his small car.

  “I guess we should have loaded them in my pick-up.” Natalie studied her black Ford, debating whether to transfer everything into the bed of her truck.

  “This will do.” Jared closed the car trunk. “I can deliver these to the church and then when I return tonight, I’ll get the rest. What time is dinner?”

  Natalie watched her brother chase after a goat, swinging a rope over his head. “Libby’s supposed to be here around seven,” she said as Dillon abandoned his game and came running toward them.

  “Hey, whatcha doing?” His forehead glistened with sweat. “Are you leaving already?”

  Jared opened his car door. “I’ll be back in a little while to eat dinner with you.”

  Dillon’s loop dangled at his feet. “Can I go with you?”

  Jared shrugged and glanced at Natalie. “It’s all right with me, if it’s okay with your sister.”

  Her brother’s eyes darted to Natalie’s, begging her to say yes. “I’ve finished my chores. Can I go, please?”

  “Don’t you want to be here when your mom arrives?”

  His eyes slid to Jared’s. “We can be here, can’t we?”

  Jared studied his watch. “Is six-thirty early enough?”

  Natalie nodded, wondering at the fondness these two shared. She supposed Dillon needed the male companionship, especially now that their dad was gone. “I guess that’ll be okay, as long as you promise to clean up as soon as you get back.”

  Her brother almost knocked her over with a hug. “Thanks, sis.” He then handed her his rope and charged for the passenger door. The two waved good-bye as they drove out of the lane.

  THREE HOURS LATER, NATALIE STOOD OUTSIDE AT THE GRILL, WAITING FOR their company to arrive. With her eyes peeled o
n the gravel road, she watched for Jared and her brother, who were late.

  As she turned the sizzling T-bones, Libby’s yellow car pulled into the driveway.

  The woman stepped out of the sedan, dressed in a pink shirt and jeans that would make any other woman in her mid-forty’s look like a bag of cotton candy. Oddly enough, the outfit wasn’t unappealing on her stepmother.

  Libby lugged her suitcases to the grill and deposited them on the ground.

  Natalie glanced at the luggage. “How long do you plan to stay?”

  The woman flapped her hand in the air. “You know me. I don’t know how to pack light.”

  Natalie’s question remained unanswered. “I’ve invited Jared Logan to join us for supper. I hope you don’t mind. He took Dillon into town, but they should be back any minute.”

  A grin molded onto Libby’s face. “The young pastor? How delightful. The two of you are quite friendly.”

  Natalie didn’t miss the suggestive undertone in the woman’s voice. “He’s been a good friend to all of us.”

  The back screen squeaked open, and a few minutes later Chelsey joined them. Natalie handed her sister the long handled utensil. “Here Chels, will you finish cooking these steaks while I help Libby get settled?”

  Her sister frowned, her eyes on Libby. “Sure, order me around like a slave.”

  Natalie sent her an apologetic smile and amended her request. “I’m sorry, will you please finish these steaks while I help Libby with her suitcases?”

  The girl shrugged and poked the meat with the stainless steel fork. With a sigh, Natalie carried the two heavy cases to the house, then up to her father’s bedroom. She’d done her best to make the room attractive by adding fresh sheets and a more feminine blanket for a bedspread, and Chelsey had gathered some wildflowers to put in a vase. She wasn’t sure why she was trying so hard to please the woman, except that maybe there was a small part inside that still longed for her love.

  Libby followed her into the room and bounced on the covered mattress. Her tanned face cracked into a smile. “Seems like just the other day I shared this bed with your father. We had some good times, he and I.”

  “All I remember are two crying babies wondering why their mama left,” Natalie said. “Kind of makes those good memories fade in the background.” She peered at the woman masked in heavy make-up. “Why did you leave, Libby? Where did you go?”

  “I understand you’re perturbed with me. And that’s okay.” Libby scooted off the bed and braced Natalie’s shoulders. “I can’t get over how much you’ve grown. Why, you’ve turned into a beautiful lady, Nat, just beautiful. What can I do to make things up to you? I’d like for us to be friends. Do you think that would be possible?”

  Natalie stepped away from the woman. “How about if you answer my question? Why did you leave?”

  Her stepmom’s forehead wrinkled. “I don’t expect you to understand. You were so young back then. You didn’t know how things were between your dad and me. When we married, it was more for convenience than love. Don’t get me wrong. He was a good-looking man, and I was plenty attracted.” A thin eyebrow shot up as though remembering.

  “But he tended to be…how shall I say…overbearing?”

  Natalie agreed that her dad had been strict, although she’d watched some of that strictness wane as he’d gotten older. After all, he’d allowed Chelsey to date a senior in high school, something he would never have done when she was that age. “What are you saying? That he didn’t love you? Or that you didn’t love him?”

  Libby pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her purse and held one between her fingers. “Mind if I smoke in here?”

  Natalie scowled. “Yes, I do, actually.”

  “Well, I’ve been trying to quit, anyway.” The woman smiled awkwardly as she tucked the cigarettes back in her purse. “What I’m saying is, our relationship was complicated. After your father and I had been married a while, we decided we wanted different things.”

  Natalie scoffed. Yeah, her dad wanted to be married and Libby didn’t. Her dad wanted to raise a family and she didn’t. The comparison could go on. “What I remember is that you came home one day from shopping, and you grabbed your suitcases and left. You never looked back. How could you do that to us?”

  Libby pressed her lips together and went in search for something else in her purse. After a few seconds, she drew out a piece of gum. “Like I said, I don’t expect you to understand.”

  Natalie was quickly tiring with the discussion. If they were going to manage this temporary living arrangement, she would have to get a handle on the situation. “For the record, I agreed to let you stay here for Dillon and Chelsey, so they’d have a chance to know you. I never had a second chance with my mom, and I couldn’t refuse them theirs. But I’m not going to pretend that everything’s okay. If I sense even a hint of trouble, you’ll leave. I don’t want the kids to carry the pain I’ve had. I won’t do that to them—just so you know.”

  Libby wandered to the dormer window and looked out at the pasture. “Tell me about this Jared guy. You say he’s joining us for supper? If you ask me, the young pastor has his eye on you.”

  Natalie balked at these words. Agitated, she spotted some folded towels on a chair and moved them to the dresser. “He wants to help our family. He considers us his little mission project.”

  “Seems overly fascinated, if you ask me.”

  “Generous with his time is more like it.” Natalie checked her defense of the man. Jared didn’t need defending and certainly not from her.

  “You’re a beautiful young woman, Nat. I’ve been around enough to know when a man is interested…and believe me, this man’s interested.”

  Natalie pursed her lips. “That’s ridiculous. He’s a friend—a pastor.”

  “You don’t think pastors fall in love? If you don’t watch out, pretty soon you’ll be going to Bible studies and making food for bake sales.”

  Natalie shook her head. “I don’t do bake sales.”

  Libby leaned back in a hearty laugh. “One thing I’ve learned in this life, is never say never.”

  Natalie checked her watch again and glanced out the window toward the gravel road. “I have no idea what’s taking them so long.”

  “Maybe you’ve put too much faith in this new pastor, letting him whisk Dillon away on a whim.”

  “It was hardly a whim.” Natalie again found herself defending the man, but she did wonder where he was. Jared assured her he’d be back in plenty of time. Which meant one of two things—he’d forgotten, or there was trouble.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  JARED PRAYED OVER MR. WILSON IN THE HOSPITAL BED. THE ONLY OTHER people in the room were his wife and daughter, weeping beside their newly departed loved one.

  Though his heart went out to the woman, he thought briefly of Dillon waiting patiently in the room outside. A noise stirred from behind, and Jared turned to see the boy watching from the door. He patted Mrs. Wilson’s shoulder before leaving. “If you need anything, you have my number.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Logan. I could never have gotten through this without you.”

  “I’m glad I could be here. I’ll call again tomorrow to see about going over the service arrangements.”

  When he reached Dillon’s side, he checked his watch. “Your sister is going to kill me.” He groaned but took comfort in knowing he had a good excuse for being late—and for not calling, though he’d tried the house two times.

  The boy continued to stare at Mr. Wilson’s body. “Is that what you do as a pastor? Be with people when they’re dying?”

  Jared prodded Dillon down the corridor. Hospitals were always so cold and sterile. As a new pastor, Jared had spent only a few hours in hospital waiting rooms, and they weren’t his most pleasant experiences, although sending one of his members off to meet his maker was indeed an awesome responsibility.

  “Did that man know he was dying?”

  Jared opened the exit door of the Charris County Hospi
tal and inhaled the fresh air. “Yes, he knew. We visited several times while he’d been in the hospital.”

  Dillon turned quiet and sober. “What’s it like to die?”

  Jared studied the boy. “Are you thinking about your dad?”

  “Natalie never wants to talk about it, but sometimes I wonder if Dad is watching over me, if he can see me here, and if he’s in heaven. You believe in heaven, right?”

  It never ceased to amaze Jared the many reactions people had about heaven. Some even thought the dead were transformed into angels—or worse, into animals. “Of course, I believe in heaven. And if your dad believed in Jesus as his savior, then he’s in heaven. It’s that simple.”

  He ruffled the boy’s hair and unlocked his car door for him. “Tell me something, Dillon. Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe in Jesus?”

  Dillon got into the car and thought about it for several seconds. “We don’t go to church, but I’ve heard people talk about it,” he said as Jared climbed into the driver’s seat. “I remember Willard and Dad talking about church stuff. Do you think Dad believed in Jesus?”

  “I don’t know, Dillon. We can hope so.” He started the engine and headed for the edge of town just as the sun began its descent in the west, casting a reddish glow against the hills, with the purest blue sky above. A good day for going home.

  Images of the grieving family and all the plans necessary in arranging Mr. Wilson’s funeral soon overshadowed the peaceful contemplation. Jared swallowed the knot that formed in his throat and forced his mind to concentrate on the sunset, glad to call this place his home, for however long God intended him to stay.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Jared nodded, learning to brace himself for such questions, as they almost always provoked a deep reaction.

  “Do you like my sister?”

  Jared eyed the boy in the passenger seat of his car. Dillon’s question had been sincere, not an ounce of teasing in his expression.

  “Yeah, she’s all right—for a girl.” Jared winked, trying to lighten the mood.