Beautifully Angelic

by Charity Parkerson

  The pressure in Ezra’s chest eased just by talking to Johnny. “I’m sure Theo and Jessie enjoyed their time, though. While I was in Arizona, all my troubles seemed a world away.”

  “Jessie won’t stay mad. He loves you too much, and whether he ever says it or not, he loves Declan too.”

  “Yeah. I’m not worried about Jessie.”

  Johnny tossed him a puzzled look. “What then?”

  Even though Johnny was looking at the road and not him, Ezra shook his head. “It’s just me, I guess. I don’t want to fail at this, but it’s only been three weeks since my hospital trip. It’s possible I’m not strong enough to keep Declan happy while failing myself some days.”

  “Declan has been sickeningly in love with you for years. As long as you exist and love him back, you’re set. He’ll be happy with any version of you he can get any day of the week.”

  Ezra couldn’t help but smile at the certainty in Johnny’s every word. It felt nice to know other people noticed. Ezra hadn’t only been dreaming that Declan loved him all these years. Some days, thinking Declan’s love was all in his head, Ezra had thought he would go mad. But lately, everyone kept claiming they knew all along. Ezra felt free and vindicated.

  The Back Porch came into view. Johnny snagged a parking spot close to the door. “Do you know, I’ve never been in this place,” Johnny said, surprising Ezra. “I’ve been by here to pick you up and drop you off, or to bring Jessie by. But I’ve never been inside.”

  Ezra clapped his hands. He loved bringing sexy men inside The Back Porch. He felt like he was showcasing new wares for the patrons to enjoy. “Today is your lucky day, then. I can’t wait to show you off.”

  A nervous-sounding laugh came from Johnny’s side of the truck. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.” Johnny slid from the truck and waited for Ezra so they could walk to the door together before saying anything else. “There are a lot of cars here for Wednesday night.”

  “There are a lot of cars here every night.”

  Johnny opened the door for him. “That’s good. I like to see a small business thrive.”

  Ezra stepped inside and his feet froze. The lights were dimmed, and it was much louder than usual. A small stage had been set up in the back corner. “What the...”

  Wrecker spotted him at the same time Ezra spotted Wrecker. They met halfway. “Ezra. You’re back.” He hauled Ezra in for a hug. “How are you feeling? I stopped by to see you. Did Declan tell you?”

  “Yeah. Sorry. Things have been nuts. What’s all this?” Ezra asked, motioning toward the stage.

  Johnny spoke behind him. “Fuck, yeah. They have karaoke.”

  Wrecker’s gaze slid Johnny’s way and stuck. “Hi. Yeah. I’ve decided to start having different things—like karaoke—on Wednesday nights. The natives were getting restless around here. I’m Wrecker,” Wrecker said, holding out his hand. “I own the place.”

  Johnny barely glanced Wrecker’s way, but he briefly shook hands with him. “Johnny. I’m Ezra’s bodyguard for the night.”

  That brought Wrecker’s attention back Ezra’s way. “Bodyguard? Why do you have a bodyguard?”

  “He means babysitter,” Ezra said, patting Johnny’s stomach. “You can go play. Wrecker will watch me.”

  “Sweet,” Johnny said, heading for the stage without looking back.

  “What’s going on?” Wrecker asked again, refusing to let it go.

  Ezra shrugged. “Ah, you know, I fell out and had to be rushed to the hospital. So now Declan is refusing to let me do anything alone. I think I scared him a little.”

  “Declan? Why would Declan be the one deciding what you can and can’t do alone? That guy is seriously worrying me.”

  A huge smile tugged at Ezra’s lips at Wrecker’s tone. He was the best kind of friend. Loyal to the bone. “It’s fine. He’s just looking out for me. Actually, we’re getting married in two weeks.”

  “What in the...”

  “That’s why I stopped by. I know you’re always busy, but I wanted to make sure you can make it,” Ezra said, cutting him off.

  “Make it to where? This is crazy sudden, and it’s Declan.” Wrecker sounded genuinely shocked.

  “You know that it’s not sudden at all. It’s always been Declan and me, whether anyone admitted it or not. As to your other question, I’m still working on that. Or rather, Theo is. I want to have the wedding at Jessie’s place, as long as Jessie isn’t still trying to rip Declan’s eyes out by then.”

  A stunning voice filled the air, making the entire building fall silent. As one, Wrecker and Ezra turned toward the stage. Johnny was at the microphone. He looked twice as hot with the multicolored stage lights highlighting his sharp features. He had a soulful sound with perfect pitch. His voice was beautiful. Ezra was floored.

  “Goddamn.” Wrecker’s curse perfectly summed up the moment. Johnny had talent. Considering he worked for one of the world’s most famous musical talents, Ezra didn’t understand why he hadn’t known that. Surely Jessie had heard Johnny sing at some point. Wrecker and Ezra stood side by side, equally stunned by Johnny. When the song ended, everyone flew to their feet to clap. With an awkward wave, Johnny kept his head down and jogged off the stage. He was back to Ezra’s side in a flash.

  “That was fun. I haven’t sung in public in a long time.”

  “You’re amazing.” Even Ezra heard the awe in his voice. “Sing at my wedding. I’ll pay you.”

  Johnny blushed, looking adorable. “You know you don’t have to pay me, angel. We’re friends.”

  They were friends, and—suddenly—the fears he had confessed to Johnny on the drive over disappeared. He had fallen in a hole the past several months, and his brain had tricked him into thinking he was alone, but he wasn’t. He had friends and family. They were closer than he had let himself believe.

  “You should come by again the next time you’re off,” Wrecker said, pulling Ezra from his thoughts, only to realize he spoke to Johnny.

  Ezra looked between them.

  Johnny nodded. “For sure. I was telling Ezra I couldn’t believe I’ve never been inside here before now. I can’t count how many times I’ve driven him or Jessie over here.”

  “Well, now you know I’m here.”

  No one could miss Wrecker’s emphasis on “I’m” in that sentence. Ezra hid a smile. Wrecker was definitely interested. Ezra decided to push a little. “Wrecker will be at the wedding.”

  “Oh, yeah. Definitely. Ezra is my favorite people. Wouldn’t miss it.”

  Johnny eyed Wrecker from head to toe on the sly at the comment. “Maybe I’ll see you there.”

  Ezra bit his lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. He was so happy and in love, Ezra wanted everyone to feel the way he did. “I guess we should get going. Johnny still has to take me a few more places before the stores close.”

  Wrecker looked slightly disappointed. “Sure. Keep me posted. If you need some stuff catered, you know I’m your man.”

  “Oh shoot.” Ezra rubbed his forehead. He had the hardest time keeping his thoughts together anymore. “I meant to ask you about that. It’s super short notice, but there’s absolutely no one I would rather have make our cake.”

  “Dang, darling. You know I’m all in. Whatever you need. I always have your back, even though it’s Declan.”

  Ezra snorted. He knew it would take Wrecker a little time to warm up to Declan. “I love you.”

  Wrecker bent and kissed his cheek. “Back at you, babe. When you get a free minute, we’ll figure out your cake. It’ll be perfect.”

  With a final promise to call, Ezra headed back out with Johnny leading the way. Ezra tried not to worry about how things were going with Declan. He really hoped Jessie and Declan didn’t kill each other before Ezra got back. He needed them to be okay. Otherwise, Declan was right to avoid Ezra for so long. Otherwise, Ezra had ruined Declan’s life.

  Declan packed up his room in silence and tried not to think. Jessie was probably on the phone, hir
ing someone to kill him right now while Wrecker was telling Ezra how psychotic Declan was. Wrecker would be right, but still. Maybe Declan was a tad bit insane when it came to Ezra, but no one would ever love Ezra as much as Declan. To Declan’s mind, that was the most important thing, but he couldn’t keep Ezra from Wrecker’s opinions forever.

  Declan only had a few things left to pack. It had been two hours. Ezra and Johnny still weren’t back. What if he didn’t come back? A hint of panic had Declan’s heart racing. What if Wrecker convinced Ezra to leave Declan?

  “So, I’ve been paying you to sleep with my brother.”

  Declan’s heart skipped a beat at Jessie’s sudden appearance in the doorway. To hide his reaction, Declan snorted. He kept packing, avoiding Jessie’s stare. “Only for the last few weeks. I’ll pay you back, if you want. To be honest, I wasn’t even thinking about the money. I’ve just been focused on Ezra’s health.”

  “No. You were still taking care of him—like I thought. It just seems you were taking way more care of him than I thought.”

  Declan took a breath and focused on Jessie. He looked surprisingly calm. “I have to say, you’re taking this better than I expected.”

  A smile exploded across Jessie’s face. “You can thank Theo for that. He tied me to the bed for a couple of hours. Then he made it really, really hard to think long enough to stay too mad.”

  “I’ll bet he made it hard.”

  Jessie snorted at the innuendo. It turned into a chortle before he roared with laughter. Jessie swiped at his eyes. “Theo also took the time to make some points I might not have considered if left to myself to figure things out. You love Ezra. I think I’ve always known that. You two have always been closer than I wanted to admit. I know you wouldn’t have risked our friendship if you didn’t believe with everything you have that this is forever. So I have to think you love him as much as I love Theo. If you feel the same way about Ezra as I do Theo, then that’s everything I’ve ever wanted for Ezra. I can’t stand in the way of that.”

  “Thank you.”

  Jessie’s smile hitched up a notch. “Just don’t forget that I can still afford to hire someone to break your kneecaps.”

  “I don’t doubt it.”

  A pained look crossed Jessie’s face. “After the shit Wrecker told me, I took your word over his, man. I trusted that Ezra was safe with you, even after everything that guy said. That’s under my skin, though. I’m having a hard time letting that one go.”

  Declan couldn’t call anyone a liar. “I know.”

  Jessie took a breath. “Tell me something, anything that’ll make me go back to feeling the same about you, because—to be honest—I’m not sure you can be trusted anymore.”

  “I love him.” Declan held Jessie’s stare and prayed Jessie could see his soul. “You have nothing to fear from me. I just couldn’t keep pretending that I could live without him. I know it doesn’t make you feel any better about how things shook out, but Ezra will have the best and most faithful husband in the world. No one will treat him better.”

  Jessie’s chest expanded on a deep breath. He rubbed the back of his neck—like he didn’t know how to react. “Well, man. I guess I’m glad it’s you, then.” He pulled Declan in for a hug. “I’ve always thought of you as family, but it seems it’ll be for real now.” Emotions choked Declan as he hugged Jessie. They would be family for real now. He hadn’t truly thought of that before now. Declan also hadn’t realized how much that meant to him. “So, when is this wedding?” Jessie asked, pulling away.

  “I kind of wanted to talk to you about that,” Ezra said from the doorway, pulling Declan’s gaze his way.

  “Hey, baby.” Declan didn’t know how long Ezra had been standing there, but he was overjoyed to see him. They hadn’t been apart but a couple of hours. It was insane how much Declan needed Ezra to always be with him.

  With a sweet smile in place, Ezra crossed the room and came to stand beneath Declan’s arm—like he too didn’t like being apart. Ezra focused on Jessie. “I was thinking, since you didn’t get to have a big wedding and we’re getting married, what if we have a double wedding? It doesn’t have to be a huge affair. Neither of us needs that stress right now and you’re my brother and I love you. Let’s celebrate together.”

  Jessie had never been able to deny Ezra anything. It couldn’t have been more obvious this was no different. “Obviously, I need to talk to Theo about it, but you know how much he loves you. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

  “Yay.” There was no one alive who could resist Ezra’s adorable smile.

  Jessie cast a look around the room. “Well, it looks like you’re almost finished. It’ll be weird knowing you’re no longer around.” His face lit. “Maybe I can talk both of you into living here again. The place is big enough.”

  Ezra’s laughter filled the room. “Nice try, but no. I know exactly how many men have slept in this room and I have no plans to join the ranks.”

  “I can find you a different room. Hell, we can build on to the house.”

  Ezra closed the distance between Jessie and him. “Let’s save this chat for another day, okay?” He hugged Jessie. “Right now, you just got married and I’m about to do the same. Let’s spend some time as newlyweds. Then we can see how we feel. You never know. This might be freeing. It’s kitchen sex’s time to shine. You might not ever want anyone to live with you again once you have the freedom of it being just Theo and you in the main house.”

  The way Jessie smiled at the idea of kitchen sex made Declan think they shouldn’t eat here again. “All right.” Jessie sounded disappointed but appeased. “I guess I’ll let you two finish packing. Promise me that you two will at least talk about my idea, though.”

  “I promise.” Ezra sounded solemn—like he meant every word.

  Jessie kissed Ezra’s forehead. “That’s all I can ask.” He hugged Ezra again. A little too tightly, in Declan’s opinion. Ezra’s was still weakened, after all. “Ugh. I’ve missed you. Life needs to settle down so we can get back to having family nights.”

  Ezra patted Jessie’s chest. “Everything will be back to normal before you know it. You’ll see.”

  They exchanged a few more words and hugs before Jessie finally left them alone. Declan barely managed to hold his tongue until he was out of earshot. “What do you mean you know exactly how many men have slept in this room?”

  Ezra shot him a pointed look. “Why did Jessie say he had taken your word over Wrecker’s? And why did Wrecker want to know if you told me he stopped by when you didn’t?”

  “Touché.” Declan would lose this argument no matter which way he went if he kept going, so he changed tactics. He invaded Ezra’s space. “You know you’re the only man who’s ever slept in this room in my heart, right? It’s always only been you.”

  Ezra rolled his eyes but didn’t argue.

  Declan didn’t let up. “Tell me I’m wrong. How many times have you pictured my face and called my name while someone else fucked you?”

  A blush tinted Ezra’s face. He wouldn’t meet Declan’s stare. Yet he still clung to Declan’s chest as Declan dragged him closer. “Stop. I get it.”

  Declan dropped his head and kissed Ezra’s neck, seducing him. One of the things Declan found irresistible about Ezra was his innocence. No matter what they did, he couldn’t be tainted. Ezra still blushed. He didn’t cuss. He could pose nude a thousand times and Ezra would still be an angel in a world filled with demons. Ezra was beautiful. “It should finally be us; don’t you think?” He kissed the shell of Ezra’s ear. “In this room and under this roof, it should be us.”

  Ezra winced even as he held Declan tighter. “I think it is this room that’s bugging me, though. It brings out the worst in me. When I left here on Christmas Eve, after you pushed me away for the last time, it was the final straw for me. This is the place where you broke me.”

  Declan’s chest tightened. He couldn’t look away from Ezra. Declan loved Ezra more than life. He couldn’t l
et there be a single spot on the planet that reminded Ezra that Declan had ever rejected him. “This is the place where you saved me,” Declan admitted. “Come here.” He took Ezra’s hand and led him to a huge window by his bed. Declan positioned Ezra’s body where he stood in the exact spot where Declan stood every night when Ezra still lived there. “If you stand here and look across the way, that’s your bedroom window right there.”

  Ezra leaned closer to the window. “Oh, wow. It really is. I never realized our windows were angled like that.”

  Declan gave him a sharp nod. “I’m glad you didn’t. Otherwise, I might not have gotten to watch over you the way I did.” He took Ezra’s hand again and led him to the bathroom. After flipping on the lights, Declan snagged Ezra’s waist and sat him on the bathroom counter. Ezra’s expression changed—like he knew exactly what Declan would say next as Declan moved to stand between his knees. “This is the spot where you stole my heart. We were positioned just like this. This wasn’t the moment I realized I was in love with you. I realized I was in love with you when Lucifer died. This is the spot where I was standing when I fell in love with you.”

  Ezra’s lips parted in surprise, obviously realizing exactly how long Declan had been in love with him. “I was sixteen. It was my first battle with the anorexia.” Ezra glanced behind him at the mirror. “You made me look at myself in the mirror. Really look. Not at the parts of me that I hated, but at me. The person beneath the skin.”

  Declan couldn’t look away from Ezra as he looked at himself. His throat swelled. He had loved Ezra so long and hard that—sometimes—he no longer knew if it was a healthy love. “Am I rushing you into marriage at the wrong time? Will you resent me later or will this be a setback for you?”

  Ezra turned away from his reflection and met Declan’s gaze. Instead of answering, he peeled off his shirt. He glanced over his shoulder again briefly before turning away from his image. “I still don’t like what I see.” The admission was a punch to Declan’s heart, but Ezra didn’t stop. “But you do.” A whimsical-looking smile passed over Ezra’s lips. “No matter how much I hate myself, you love me. I’ve always known that. We could wait until I’m completely recovered, if you want, but it won’t matter. I loved you before I relapsed. You were all I loved, even at my worst. I’ll still love you when I’m better. This disease isn’t about you. You can’t make it worse.” Ezra cupped his face. “You do make me better, though. If you feel like we need to wait, we will. But that’s not what I want and it’s not what I feel like I need. No doctor has ever reached me at my lowest the way you do. I remember the night you made me look at myself in this mirror too. If asked, I could recite every word you said to me. Do you want to know what I saw when I looked in this mirror that night?”