The Boss

by Abigail Barnette

  My hands were trembling as I ran cold water over the stain. Why was I so nervous? Just because Neil was in my apartment? It wasn't like he was going to judge me unworthy because I wasn’t rich; he'd never once given me that impression. And if he did find my room lacking, so fucking what? I wasn't trying out to be his interior decorator. I was doing a friends-with-benefits kind of thing with him. He probably wasn't going to turn down sex because my fuzzy socks were on the floor by my bed.

  I heard music start playing softly in my bedroom, and I grinned, shaking my head at my own silliness. He felt at home enough to fiddle with my iPod. I could calm down about the worthiness of my place.

  I walked back into my bedroom, my arms crossed over my chest. Neil was standing beside my bed, holding the framed picture of me and my mom that I kept on my bedside table. He looked up guiltily and replaced it next to my alarm clock. "I'm sorry; I'm touching all of your things."

  "It's okay. You're drugged." I suppressed my laughter and leaned against the doorframe. It was awkward to bring up the subject while I was standing there in my bra, but I had to ask, “So... how’s your mom doing?”

  "Much better. My sister and I decided it would be best if mum were to go live with her." He sounded a bit guilty about that. "She’d been staying at my house in Somerset, but I think it’s a bit too much for her now.”

  "You have a sister?" I filed that away. I didn't know why, because it wasn’t like I was ever going to meet his family.

  He nodded and gestured to the picture frame on my nightstand. "Do you have any siblings?"

  "Only child." I went to his side and reached down, gently tipping the picture onto its face. "Single mom. Very protective. She doesn't need to be here for this."

  He laughed and pulled me into his arms, and I went, gladly. The unhurried tempo of an A Fine Frenzy song lulled me into a comfortable, relaxed state, as much as his embrace did. His hand splayed against the small of my back, the other slid down my arm, lacing our fingers together as he slowly pulled me into a sway with the music.

  "I really, really missed you," he whispered beside my ear as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

  I was drunk. He was messed up on pills. And somehow, this was the single most romantic moment of my life.

  I had to lighten the room a little, didn't I? "You were only gone for a week."

  "Eight days," he corrected me. He stilled, and released my hand so he could tilt my face up to his with two fingers. My lips parted in a smile as I anticipated his kiss, but he waited, looking in my eyes for a moment that took my breath away. "But I wasn't talking about the trip."

  Why do so many emotions feel exactly like a collapsed lung?

  There were a lot of things I could say, but all of them might lead to some kind of pharmaceutical confession he didn't mean to make, and I was way too drunk to handle that right now. So I said, "Shut up," and pulled his mouth down to mine.

  I was used to controlled, careful Neil. He wasn’t in tonight. His hands were everywhere, roaming over my back, tugging at the clasp of my bra until I took pity on him and reached to help him. I slid my hands under his sweater and the button-down beneath it, and he pulled both over his head, bringing our bare skin together as though he couldn't stand to be apart for another moment.

  I'd read the term "ravished" before, I'd just never expected to use it in a context that wasn't ironic. But there was no better way to describe the series of hungry, desperate kisses that left me literally swooning. Of course, the alcohol had a hand in that as well.

  "Bed," I gasped against his mouth. I held his face in both my hands as we tumbled onto the duvet. I tossed my bra aside and reached for the top button of my pants. He pulled me beneath him as I shimmied my jeans down my legs.

  "Look at you," he murmured against the tops of my breasts, kneading them in his hands. "You are so fucking beautiful."

  I moaned and arched into his touch, lifting my pelvis. I rubbed myself shamelessly against his thigh. Everything we did was sloppy and clumsy and awful, but so wickedly hot I didn't want to stop, not even when he raised his head in dismay, releasing my nipple from his mouth to say, "I... don't have a condom."

  Yikes. There was that record scratch again, sobering me just enough to consider the situation. We'd both had our checkups, right? And I was on the pill. But the pill could fail. What would I do then? And did my fear of the consequences in the long term actually outweigh my horniness in the moment?

  Not one damn bit. "I'm fine with that, if you are," I told him.

  He studied my face for a moment, clearly weighing things out on his end, too. For as much good as all the thinking would do either of us in our altered states. Neither of us should have been making this particular choice in this particular moment. All we cared about was that we felt good and were about to feel a whole lot better. Since there wasn't anyone more capable- or less intoxicated- in the room, the choice was up to us.

  "Oh, fuck it then," he conceded, and pushed himself up to kiss me. I sucked at his tongue, gripped his shoulders, writhed shamelessly against him.

  I wanted him so badly that I was trembling all over. I wrapped my legs around his waist, tore my mouth from his and begged, "Please."

  He leaned up to unbuckle his belt and unzip his fly, and I squirmed out of my panties. There was a flurry of frantic motion between us, and somehow we ended up naked, on the sheets instead of the duvet. I straddled his lap, trapping his thick erection between my pussy and his stomach. He groaned in appreciation as I slid my slick my flesh over the length of him, grinding my clit against his impossible hardness. I could have teased him like that forever, could have rubbed myself on him until I came, but I was too impatient. I shifted my hips and reached behind me to grasp him, guiding him into me.

  I have had unprotected intercourse somewhere along the lines of zero times in my entire life. My mother raised me to view every man I slept with as someone I might have to spend the rest of my life co-parenting with, and her lived experience had instilled deep paranoia in me. I’d never gone bareback with anyone before, so it was a totally bizarre feeling as Neil slipped inside me, all velvety and hot, with nothing separating us.

  "Holy shit," I rasped, clenching my muscles around him. I guessed by his throaty groan that it felt just as amazing to him.

  It took me a moment to remember to move, and Neil's hands fell to my hips to urge me along. I braced my palms on his chest and sat up straighter, gasping as he slipped too deep.

  I went slow, shifting my hips gently to avoid feeling that shock of pain again. I didn't mind the "bottoming out" feeling during rough sex, but right now, I wasn't looking for rough. Right now, I just wanted him.

  His arms surrounded me, and he curled up from the bed to kiss my breasts, my shoulders, my neck. My hair fell around both of us, and he brushed it impatiently aside to cover my mouth with his. His teeth grazed my lower lip and caught it gently.

  Sitting like this, in his lap with my legs around his back, my hands in his hair, I didn't have a lot of leverage to move. It made for an incredibly tight fit, though, and I wriggled, trapped on his cock, unable to escape the delicious feeling of fullness.

  He caught my arms behind my back, held my wrists in one strong hand. Leaning close to my ear, he whispered, "No, no. Don't move."

  Shivers raced down my spine. He exerted just enough pressure on my wrists that it felt... stern. Commanding. My head fell back, my hair brushing over my shoulder blades.

  "I want to tie you up like this," he murmured against my jaw. There was something primal and dangerous about my throat being so exposed to him. When he nipped at my pulse point, I took in a breath and held it, and felt him smile against my neck. "Would you let me do that to you?"

  "Yes, Sir," I breathed. I needed him to move. I needed something to push me over the edge. He traced a path up to my ear with his tongue and sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

  Damn him. He knew what that did to me. He flexed within me, pulsing, exerting such exquisite pressure against my g-sp
ot that all I wanted to do was thrash and writhe on him. The effect of his voice on my brain was almost enough to throw me over the edge into bliss. His tongue swirled over the shell of my ear, then just behind it, and I dug my fingernails into my palms, willing myself to sit still. He rocked inside me, once, twice, ratcheting my arousal higher and higher with barely any movement at all, and I spiraled out of control, shouting, shuddering, trembling.

  Surprising me with his strength, he released my wrists and wrapped an arm around my waist, rolling me beneath him. My pussy felt impossibly tight and far too sensitive in the wake of my orgasm. I babbled and practically sobbed as he withdrew with torturous slowness, then eased back in. He slipped one arm beneath the bend of my left knee and raised my leg, driving deeper, holding me hard to him.

  "Please, please, please," I gasped, and though I didn't know exactly what I was asking for, I was totally confident that he did.

  Oh, he totally did.

  He pumped into me with long, slow strokes, his hand splayed beside my head, pinning my hair to the mattress. At first, I just held on to him, but soon I was clutching the pillows, lifting my hips, riding incredible waves of pleasure until another climax broke over me. I felt it take him over, too, and he groaned beside my ear as his cock jerked deep within me.

  I gasped, and after a moment, he lifted his head. "Are you alright?"

  My face grew hot with embarrassment, and I couldn't help my giggles as he slipped from me, hissing under his breath.

  "It's silly," I protested. He rolled to lie at my side, and pulled me into his arms.

  "I don't care if it's silly," he muttered against my forehead, dropping a kiss there to punctuate his words "I asked because I wanted to know."

  "I... um, I've never had like, full intercourse without a condom before," I confessed. Then I remembered how inexperienced I had been the first time we'd been together, and I had to laugh as I added, "I didn't realize I would be able to... feel it."

  He laughed at that. "I assume you're referring to- ”

  "Your cum, yes." I could feel it now, leaking out of me and coating my thighs. "Shut up, now I'm embarrassed."

  "Don't be." He tilted my chin up so he could look me in the eye. "You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me. You are, without exception, the most exciting lover I have ever been with. And that's not the anti-anxiety drugs talking."

  I snorted. "That's very nice of you, but I don't think I'm that exciting."

  "Don't be coy, it doesn't suit you." He reached down and pulled the sheets and blankets over us. Another derisive laugh from me caused him to defend his position with blunt truth. "Well, you did let me fuck your ass the first time we met. I thought that was quite adventurous of you."

  I squealed at his crude words and slapped his shoulder. "Hey, you led me astray from the garden path, or whatever. I'd never done that before."

  "I'm honored to be your mentor in all of these depraved practices.”

  It felt good to lay in his arms, to have him next to me again. Maybe he was right; maybe we should see each other more often.

  Something stirred in the back of my mind. "Can I ask you something?"

  "No," he replied sleepily. "No, we don't know each other well enough for something as intimate as a question."

  I sighed my annoyance at his teasing. "Six years ago... why did you take my plane ticket, if you were just going to leave me enough money to buy another one, anyway?"

  His chest rose under my cheek, and he held his breath for a moment as he considered his answer. "I didn't want to strand you. I just wanted to make you slow down and think. You were so brilliant and full of life... I didn't want to see you do something rash out of fear. I felt absolutely helpless to see you make this mistake for yourself... I suppose I was playing the role of Emma's father, rather than Sophie's one-night stand."

  "Well, I made the right choice," I congratulated myself, rubbing the arch of my foot up and down his calf. It was getting more difficult to keep my eyes open. I yawned, a bit louder than I was expecting. "I'm sleepy."

  "Do you want me to leave?" he asked, stirring under my hand.

  I shook my head and snuggled in closer. "No. No, right now, everything is perfect."

  * * * *

  I woke to the warmth of Neil's body beside me, the coarse hair on his chest beneath my palm. The late morning sun illuminated the room, and dust motes cheerfully drifted in the light from the window.

  He'd stayed all night. That both pleased and utterly terrified me.

  As I sat up to check the time, he stirred beside me, murmuring a sleep thick, "Good morning."

  I opened my mouth to answer him and - Oh god. My breath.

  He reached for me, one arm around my waist, and I quickly stopped him with a hand against his shoulder, my other hand covering my mouth. I gasped a horrified, muffled, "No!"

  He squinted at me in the clean morning light, looking a bit annoyed. "Oh, for fu- do you think I've never smelled morning breath before?"

  "You haven't smelled mine, and you aren't going to." I rolled to my side, facing away from him, and pulled the blankets over my mouth.

  He spooned up behind me, an impressive morning erection pressing against my ass.

  "Well, good morning to you, too," I giggled, and he nuzzled his head into my shoulder to kiss my neck.

  He chuckled, and I felt it rumbling low and deep in his chest. "Don't be too flattered, it's because I really have to pee."

  "Well, I guess we're not doing the morning sex thing, then?" I turned my head to bat my eyes at him over the top of the blanket. He pulled away from me reluctantly. "No, I'm afraid not. I have lunch with Rudy at noon, and I need to stop at home and change. And chisel off these contacts."

  "You wear contacts?" I couldn't believe I'd never noticed them before. I spent enough time staring into his eyes, after all.

  "Only when I want to see." He sat up on the other side of the bed, squinting as he scanned the room. "We'll do the big, romantic morning tomorrow, I promise."

  Tomorrow? Oh, that was right. "Do you still want me to come over? I mean, since we kind of already spent the night?"

  "I wanted to spend the weekend with you," he reminded me with a grin. "You're not tired of me already?"

  Tired of him? I was actually a little bit freaked out by how much I liked being with him. I’d never let a guy spend the entire night with me before. I don’t know how it had changed things, but something definitely felt different. Even though I couldn't put my finger on it, it worried me. This was a casual relationship. If I started wanting to spend all my time with him, if I wanted to start sleeping in the same bed with him and being constantly around him, that could be trouble.

  But not enough trouble that I would miss out on doing it again.

  "Not even a little. What time do you want me?" I'd meant, of course, "What time do you want me to come over," but he gave a bit of a dismayed laugh.

  "When don't I want you?" He found his boxers beside the bed and slipped them on. "I'll send a car for you at six? Is that all right?"

  Ooh, he was going to send a car. I guess there were certain perks to fucking a rich guy. "Yup, that'll work. But, uh... you might want to put on some pants and get that whole erection situation under control. I do have a roommate."

  I dashed to the bathroom and hurriedly brushed my teeth while he got dressed in my room. I checked my reflection in the mirror, examining my neck. No hickeys. I appreciated that. My makeup, however, hadn't made it through the night, and I was a little mortified that he'd seen me looking so smeared and haggard this morning.

  I stumbled out to the living room, giving a sheepish smile to Neil as we passed each other. Holli was sitting on the couch, her legs crossed kindergarten lotus position style. She wore a huge sleep shirt with a chicken on it, and bacon-and-eggs print pajama pants. They weren't a set, she just liked to wear them together to be macabre.

  "You're up early." I thought she’d be passed out until noon at least.

  "Haven’t been
to sleep yet. I came home and got sucked into this airbrush makeup system infomercial that was oddly soothing, and then they started showing early morning reruns of ER.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Besides, who could sleep with all the loud sex going on?”

  My face got hot. "Oh my god, what happened to the not listening policy?"

  "It's not like I had a choice."

  Neil emerged from the bathroom, wearing the white button down he'd worn beneath his sweater last night. He carried that and his coat over his arm, his iPhone in his hand. "I called my driver while you were in the bathroom. I'll be out of your hair soon enough." He looked kind of sheepish about that, like he thought he was unwelcome.

  I waved my hand. "Stay a minute. Do you want breakfast? I don't think we have actual food here, but I could probably scrounge up a reasonable facsimile."

  "No food?" he looked at me in alarm.

  "I ate it all," Holli admitted proudly. "And she's been working too much to shop. I hear her boss is a real asshole and won't give her a reasonable schedule."

  "I fear her schedule is out of the asshole's hands now." Neil paused as he regarded Holli. "I recognize you... you've been in Porteras." He snapped his fingers. "Yes, we were just looking at that rescheduled jacket shoot. You were one of the models."

  I had woken up in some surreal parody of my own life. Neil had spent the night in my bed like a freaking boyfriend, my apartment was still a catastrophe, and now I was introducing him to my roommate? Was this college again? "Oh, um, Neil, this is Holli, my roommate. Holli, this is Neil, my..." I couldn't think of a word to accurately describe the situation, and besides, she knew already. "Neil."

  "I'm touched," he quipped. His phone chirped. "That will be Tony."

  "I'll clear out," Holli said, jumping up and pausing the DVR. We try to be considerate of each other where dates are concerned.

  I kept myself firmly on task as Neil came over and put one arm around my waist. I dumped coffee into the filter and leaned my cheek toward him for a goodbye kiss. Super casual. Nothing weird about spending an entire night with a guy. Not weird at all.