Her Confession

by S. Valentine

  She climbed into the car, after he opened her door. Strapping her seatbelt on, she leant her head on the window. She felt a shooting pain in her heart, and emptiness in her stomach. She felt even worse for what she had done.

  Chapter Forty

  “I’m so sorry, Gabi,” Lexi said, the sincerity apparent in her eyes. “I only suggested it because I really want you pair to get serious.”

  Gabi smiled tightly. She knew Lexi only had good intentions.

  “I didn’t realise his parents were like that.” She shrugged. “Darion never talks about them. He may have to Gina, but not to me.”

  “It’s okay. I just feel really bad for him. I can tell he’s hurting. I wish I could help.”

  “Gabi, he’s thirty-six now. If he doesn’t have a close relationship with them now, it’s likely he never will.”

  Gabi lifted her glass of wine to her lips and took a sip. “Do you think I should check he’s okay?”

  “He will be. He said he had to make an important phone call.”

  Ever since they had returned from his parents’ house, Gabi had been sitting at the bar for half an hour―alone. Darion had fled to his office saying he needed to take care of something.

  “Gabi, my favourite client is here. I’m gonna see if he wants a dance.” She squeezed her hand. “It will all be okay.”

  When Lexi vanished into the crowd, Gabi stared into her wine. She didn’t fancy making small talk with Jasmine. She wasn’t in the mood. She felt her mobile vibrating through her bag, which was on her lap. Pulling it out, she pursed her lips, wondering who would be calling her on an unknown number. She pressed answer, and held it to her ear.

  “Hello.”

  “Gabi.”

  “Lawrence,” she hissed. “How did you get my number?”

  “Suzie gave it to me. I told her I’d found some important stuff of yours which you’d left here.”

  “And is that true?”

  “Well…” he began, “If I searched the attic, I’d probably find something.”

  “Why are you calling me?” She rubbed her temple, a part of her knowing full well the reason for his call.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you, Gabi, seeing you, the kiss, talking with you. I want you. The only thing keeping us apart is that man.”

  “That’s not true,” she snapped, “I don’t want to get back with you because we’re not compatible. I don’t have any regrets about leaving you. I’m with someone else.”

  “I know if he wasn’t in the picture, give or take a few weeks, you’d be back here with me, where you belong.”

  “Don’t ever call me again. I swear, I will call the police.”

  “Have you told him yet?”

  Her breath caught in her throat.

  “If you don’t tell him, Gabi, I will.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “I want you back,” he spat. “I will do anything to get you back, Gabi. I need you. I want to make up for everything I did wrong. Give me a chance.”

  “No.”

  “You’ve still got your engagement ring,” he said softly.

  Shit! After all that time she had forgotten to return it to him. Had he seen it as a sign of hope? That she hadn’t been able to part with it. “I’ll ensure you get it back.”

  “Gabi, please…”

  “Lawrence, you slept with a stripper, and would’ve married me hiding that secret. Fuck you.”

  She ended the call. She sat there for a moment, her body shaking with rage. Putting her mobile back into her bag, she rested her head on her arms, which were flat on the bar surface. She was exhausted. It really had been the day from hell. After a minute, she sat up and swigged back some of her wine as she studied the room. Lawrence threatening her made her muscles stiff and her stomach churn. Would he really visit the club and tell Darion everything? She guessed he probably would. Lawrence was bitter. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. No way would he sit back and watch Gabi happily move on with her life, whilst he was alone and miserable. She wanted to reveal everything to Darion, but when the timing was right. Now, she didn’t even have that option. What if Lawrence rang or visited the club to speak with Darion? She needed to get to Darion before Lawrence did. If he heard it from Lawrence, then there was no way in hell there was even a tiny chance of him forgiving her. Plus, it would hurt him so much more.

  ***

  Gabi watched as Darion shakily poured another drink, not noticing that he was spilling some on the desk. She’d seen him tipsy lots of times, however never completely drunk. She came to the conclusion he wasn’t a horrible, rowdy drunk―far from it. He wasn’t deliriously happy either. He was the same, except his guard came down. Although a smile remained on his face, troubled lines creased his forehead. She wasn’t sure whether it was the light reflecting in his black pupils, or whether it was tears teetering on his lids. No. It couldn’t be tears. She knew Darion kept everything bottled up. He saw crying as a sign of weakness.

  “Gabi,” he murmured. He now had that lewd, mischievous expression as if he were thinking of sex. “Come here.”

  As she rose to her feet and slowly took steps toward him, she felt the full weight of his scrutiny. His gaze swept over her body, his lips upturned. He devoured and worshipped her with his stare. He patted his knee, indicating for her to sit. She did as commanded. The feeling of him rigid against her, and the sadness apparent in his eyes when up close, made her wrap her arms around his shoulders. Burying her face in his chest, she inhaled his scent. It was a mixture of his cologne and a slight twang of cigarette smoke.

  She sat up abruptly when she heard his gentle snores. He had fallen asleep. His expression wasn’t the face of someone in a deep, peaceful sleep, a nice thought or dream swimming in their mind. His features were screwed up, his brows pinched together with worry. Gabi pressed her lips gently on his.

  “Gabi.” His eyes shot open.

  She rested her hand on his knee. He didn’t reject it, nor welcome it. It was only when she began caressing it, did he look up. His green eyes clouded with obvious desire and longing.

  “Are you okay?”

  He shifted in the chair, causing her to perch on the edge of the desk instead. Darion stood up and stretched, causing his shirt to ride up and reveal his tight abdomen.

  Retrieving his cigarettes from his pocket, he stuffed one into his mouth, and lit it. Only when he’d taken a long, slow drag, did he speak. “I’m fine, Gabi.” He blew smoke out. “Come on, let’s have a drink.”

  Gabi reluctantly followed him out of the office. She had to pace to keep up with his long, hurried strides. Sliding onto a stool, she shook her head as Darion began pouring Absinthe into two shot glasses. The strong smell alone made her screw up her face.

  “I’m not drinking that again.”

  “Gabi,” he said, his tone silky smooth, “live a little.” He slid the glass toward her. He doused his cigarette in the ashtray, and picked up his glass. “Let’s have a little fun.” He was trying to block out his problems with alcohol, trying to have as much fun as possible so he could force himself to be happy, to be rid of the feelings of hurt and rejection. She knew how he worked now. A slow, dangerous smile slid across his face, his expression darkening. Bringing the glass to his lips, he downed the liquid in one. His tongue darted out and lapped up the remains on his lips.

  Gabi felt desire pool between her legs. She groaned inwardly. She couldn’t understand how almost everything he did and everything about him turned her on, from the sound of his husky, sexy voice, his smoldering stare, his intoxicating scent, to the way that he moved so gracefully with confidence. She craved his touch. As if reading her mind, Darion let out a dirty sounding laugh before biting his lip, undressing her with his stare.

  “Drink up, darlin’.”

  “Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Milano?”

  “Yes,” he replied, his voice husky. “I am, Gabriella Woods.”

  “And why might that be?” She necked back the drink.
She screwed up her face as it washed down her throat and chest and settled in her stomach, making it churn. She coughed. Damn. It was harsh.

  Darion jerked his head to the ceiling, his brows shooting up suggestively. “Time to get kinky.”

  Gabi remained still for a moment, feeling her legs weaken. Her mind was flooded with images and words like one blurry movie. Darion kissing Leah’s stomach, tracing his way down, getting lower and lower. His fingers yanking at her underwear, slowly tearing it down her legs, and discarding it to the floor. Darion’s lips on hers, hungrily, possessively, his eyes boring into hers, then the colour changing from green to blue…Lawrence’s eyes, Lawrence’s face, Lawrence’s lips, fast, firm, needy.

  “Have you told him yet? If you don’t tell him, Gabi, I will.” The words rang loud in her ears.

  “If you don’t keep your man happy, sweetheart…someone else will,” Eva’s sultry tone replaced it. “I have been on every surface, worn every outfit, used every whip, and experienced more with Darion in those rooms than you ever will. I will get Darion back.”

  “If you don’t tell him, Gabi, I will.”

  “I will get Darion back.” The words whirled around in her mind repeatedly.

  Oh my god. She inhaled a deep breath of air, feeling a throbbing pain in her temples, the forming of a headache. She squeezed her lids shut for a moment. When she heard a bleep on her mobile, she opened them, and quickly fished it out of her bag. She discreetly checked the text message, her swirling stomach giving her an idea of who it may be.

  Lawrence: I wonder if a trip to The Black Door is in order.

  “Ready?” Darion asked, holding out his palm.

  No! “Yes,” she responded, putting her mobile away. She took hold of his hand and allowed him to lead her upstairs.

  Chapter

  Forty-One

  Present Day

  Once they were upstairs, Darion didn’t waste time ordering any more drinks, or sitting down. He led her straight to the back of the room, toward the black door. The lively crowd was all one big blur. The sound of chatter and laughter pounded in her ears. The room was spinning. She was a nervous wreck. When they crossed the rope, Gabi swallowed. Darion was eager, as always, pleasure on his mind. Little did he know that he’d soon be experiencing pain.

  He checked with Gabi to ensure she was fine with going in the playrooms. Although the rooms weren’t open to the members for at least ten minutes, she knew Darion wanted her to go all of the way, to swap partners, to get intimate in one of the open rooms and be watched. She also knew he never wanted her to feel uncomfortable, nor would he ever force something on her which she disliked.

  She let go of his hand, worrying thoughts consuming her. All she could think of was Lawrence entering the club. The kiss couldn’t be revealed that way. No way. Not after everything Darion had been through lately: Eva’s shock return, Gina leaving, his parents rejecting him shamelessly.

  Once they were eventually in the dungeon suite, Gabi knew there and then that even if she hadn’t betrayed him, and all was normal, she couldn’t have sex whilst people watched. Nor could she ever share him. The swinger’s lifestyle wasn’t for her.

  Her identity had already been stripped when she’d experienced the rooms before. She had allowed Darion to pleasure her whilst other bodies writhed around them, surrounded by an orgy. She had kissed men and women, strangers. She had allowed Darion to restrain her with leather cuffs in the dungeon suite in the past, and whip her naked body. She had worn fantasy outfits that she never would have chosen herself. Her body had been touched by several hands that hadn’t been Darion’s. She had turned her back on normality the day she had met him. She was surrounded by voyeurs, exhibitionists, fetishists, and people with fantasies beyond her wildest imagination. Who was she?

  She took a deep, steady breath and asked Darion if they could talk. He tried to reassure her that she would enjoy the experience. He then almost sent her tumbling when he seized her face and kissed her. When she pulled back, he asked her what was wrong.

  “There’s something I have to tell you.”

  It was confession time.

  Gabi felt the atmosphere change in the room dramatically. Wrapping her arms around herself, the murderous expression on Darion’s face made her sob. It wasn’t because she was afraid of him, for she knew he’d never hurt her. It was because she was about to destroy their relationship.

  She took a step backwards. She had never seen him so angry before. She knew she had deeply hurt him. She hated herself for being so stupid, for ruining the trust between them they were slowly building on. Now, instead of feeling close to him, she couldn’t have felt more distant. But it certainly wasn’t all her fault. Darion had played a big part too. He should never have introduced her to his world. He should never have tried to change her.

  “What do you need to tell me?” he repeated, his tone cold.

  She focused on the ground. She couldn’t meet Darion’s eyes, which were full of hate, disappointment, and pain. He wasn’t stupid. Of course he knew what was coming. He had seen it many times before. She could hear his erratic breathing, his chest rapidly rising and falling with each breath. His hands were trembling, and his posture was slouched, as if he no longer had the energy to stand. All confidence he had a moment ago had diminished.

  “I did something stupid.”

  Darion turned his back on her and paced the room, back and forth. He ran his hand through his hair and released a puff of exasperation. Eventually, he sat on the edge of the bed. Silence loomed over them like a dark cloud that was seconds away from pouring down with torrential rain.

  Gabi hastily wiped a tear away that slid down her cheek.

  “What did you do?” he asked, his voice shaky, obviously a mixture of emotions.

  Gabi swallowed the lump in her throat. She took a deep breath, and looked at him. “I kissed my ex-fiancé.” She squeezed her lids shut, afraid of what she would see. Would he be flushed with rage, or breaking down in pain?

  “Why would you do that?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

  She opened her eyes. He rose to his feet, his features hardening.

  “It was you who wanted the relationship to be exclusive,” he reminded her. “And yet I allowed you to have anyone between these walls.”

  “I didn’t do it for pleasure, Darion,” she cried out. “I was feeling lost…confused…it was after that time with Jayce and Leah. I couldn’t handle seeing you with her.” She looked down and wrapped her arms around herself. “I couldn’t handle Eva being back, also. It all got too much for me.”

  Darion rubbed his palms up and down his face. “This is why I found it difficult to tell you I loved you, even when every part of me did. Because I knew shit like this would happen. I knew that if I fucking loved you, it would be too good to be true.” She could see the rage on his face, the cords in his neck taut; his fists clenched either side of him.

  Her heart thudded in anticipation, waiting in fear for his next move.

  “I’m so sorry, Darion,” she whispered. “I regretted it instantly.”

  “You know, I’ve been unsure about my feelings for Eva, but I never would have dreamt of acting upon it, Gabi. Ever.”

  Gabi wiped at her soaked cheeks.

  Darion stood before her, so close she could feel the warmth radiating from him. She could see the devastation in his eyes. “It’s over.”

  Her stomach dropped. She sucked in air. It was what she had expected. Knowing she had nothing to lose anymore, she decided she wasn’t going down without a fight, without having her say.

  “I made one drunken mistake when I was doubting our relationship, unsure of where it was headed, hating what it involved. You don’t mind me kissing other men when it suits you.” She stared up at him.

  “That’s something we agreed on,” he said. “Something for our sexual gratification. Something we shared in these playrooms. Together. You kissed another man behind my back for your own reasons. You’re no better
than Eva.”

  With all of the force she had, Gabi lifted her hand, and slapped it hard across Darion’s face. His head jerked sideways from the impact. She felt the sting of it, and the blood rush through her palm. Darion slowly turned his head, and she noticed she had cut his lower lip. His tongue appeared and licked the blood away. His dark, devilish eyes bored into hers.

  Gabi waited with bated breath, wondering how he was going to react. A part of her desperately wanted that familiar wicked smile to show, that glint to appear in his green irises, for him to slam her against the wall, and possess her with his mouth, claim her with his hands, whisper obscenities in her ear, and fuck her harder than he ever had before. She deserved punishment and she wanted it so bad.

  “After all this time, I worried that I’d be the one to hurt you. But it was you that caused the hurt. Maybe it was me that needed the warning.”

  “Do you think I wasn’t hurt when you wanted to sleep with other women?” she spat, feeling her cheeks burn.

  “You knew what I was about.”

  “Yeah. Well, I’m an insecure wreck when I feel unloved, when I’m not told I’m loved, so now you know what I’m about.”

  He remained silent.

  “Do you know what I once read?” She glared at him. “If you have to prove your worth to a man, then he isn’t the one.”

  Darion shook his head. “We weren’t meant to last anyway,” he said, the sadness apparent in his trembling tone. “Happiness is always within my reach, but never to have.”

  Gabi felt her heart skip a beat.

  “Goodbye, Gabi,” he said, his voice so soft she barely heard it, yet the impact of it was as strong and effective as if he had screamed it in her face. She recognised the hurt, pain, and rejection in his eyes one final time before he turned his back on her. He left the room.

  Gabi stilled for a moment, in complete and utter shock, not knowing what to do. He had been right. She had wanted the relationship to be serious. Not only had Darion changed her, but she had also changed him. Although she hadn’t directly expressed it to him, she wanted him to give up swinging, leave the club, and commit to her and only her. She had wanted nothing more than to get him to open up, to let her in, to allow himself to be loved, and to love back. She had wanted to show him he could trust her. He obviously couldn’t.