Scarred: A Russian Mob Romance (Anosov Family Mafia) (Scars and Sins Collection Book 1)

by Vivian Gray

  He pulled back, resisting me. “Tell me you—”

  “I want you, Anton.”

  I felt him smile against me, and then his tongue plunged into me, and I lost all train of thought.

  Chapter Nine

  Anton

  When I woke up, the room was impossibly bright, as if I was sleeping next to stadium lights. I reached out blindly for my nightstand, knocking off several things before finding the remote that controlled the curtains. I pressed it, and my blackout curtains slid into place over the floor-to-ceiling windows, plunging the room into darkness.

  I blinked until my eyes adjusted to the gloom, and then sat up, stretching my arms above my head. They felt sore, and I didn’t know whether it was from my workout the morning before or from how tightly I’d been gripping Bailey’s hips. I wondered whether I had left bruises.

  Just the thought of her made my morning wood twitch. She had been even better than I’d expected. My theory that she would be a fuck and fade suddenly felt a little flimsier. Would I really be able to forget about her? I’d slept with a lot of women, but none of them had ever made me feel like that. I remembered the image of her dropping to her knees in front of me and opening wide to take me in her mouth, and I twitched again.

  Then, a rustle next to me drew my attention.

  Bailey.

  In the bed next to me.

  I stared at her for several seconds, waiting for the image to disappear. Waiting for her to rematerialize in her own bed across the hall. Certainly, she couldn’t be in my bedroom. No woman ever slept over in my room. That was what the guest room was for.

  Then, the pieces of the night before began to come together. After our first orgasms, Bailey had pushed me to my knees and wrapped her legs around my neck like a necklace. She’d bucked and ground against my face until I thought I’d suffocate, but I didn’t mind. I loved being able to make her scream.

  By the time she orgasmed again, I’d been ready for round two, but I had picked her up and carried her to my bedroom where we had tried all number of positions and angles amongst the blankets. It had been incredible. But then, things went fuzzy.

  Usually I would have thanked her for a lovely evening, called for my driver, and sent her home with a few good memories and no promises for the future, but clearly, that hadn’t happened. Had we fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion? That must have been it because, otherwise, I wouldn’t have let this happen.

  She shifted in her sleep, her lips parting and then pulling closed. They were pouty and plush, and even with the storm raging on inside my head, I wanted to lean forward and kiss them. Then, I realized we hadn’t actually kissed the night before. We’d done everything else, but somehow our lips had never touched. That made me want it more. I tried to focus on something other than her mouth.

  Fiery red hair floated around her face, the color visible even in the dark room. I wanted to reach out and grab a strand, rub it between my fingers, be certain she was really in the bed next to me and not a trick of my imagination. Even though I hadn’t planned on letting her sleep in my bed, I liked the sight of her there. I liked the way she sunk into my pillow and the way my sheets looked wrapped around her body.

  Though, that didn’t stop me from being scared. Scared of how she had already infiltrated my life and shaken up my routine. Scared of how much time I spent thinking about her and planning our next conversation. More than anything, though, I was scared of how much I liked seeing her next to me. What would happen if one day I woke up and she wasn’t there?

  I slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom. We must have accidentally fallen asleep because I was still naked. Usually, I wore cotton pajama pants to bed, or at the very least, a pair of boxers. I turned the shower on scalding hot, steam immediately rising to dampen the harsh bathroom lighting, and stepped in.

  The water woke me up, running down my body in hot rivulets. No matter how hot it was, it wouldn’t wash away the memory of Bailey’s hands on my body or how she had felt sliding onto me. It wouldn’t wash away the part of my brain she had taken up residence in.

  I had never felt this way about another woman before. I’d dated other women, some of them rather seriously, but even then, I had been in control of my emotions. I’d decided when to see them and think about them and fuck them. And most importantly, I’d decided when to dump them.

  When the woman grew too clingy, when she knew too much about my daily habits and my feelings, when she began to grow comfortable in my life, it was time for her to go. If one of my previous girlfriends had even thought to stay the night in my bed, I would have sent her packing.

  I knew it didn’t make any sense. If I could have sex with them, why couldn’t I sleep next to them? The difference was the level of intimacy each act required. Sex was urgent and primal and satisfying. I could press myself into them and then experience a release. Sleeping next to someone didn’t satisfy any immediate needs. It was intimacy for the sake of intimacy.

  It was like saying, “I want to be close to you always, even when we are unconscious,” which felt as close to saying, “I love you,” as I would ever get.

  I stepped out of the shower – toweling off and shaking out my hair, sending water droplets spraying across the bathroom. The maid I hired to come in twice a week, Gail, complained about that particular habit of mine, but it was one I couldn’t break.

  “Anton?”

  Bailey’s sleepy voice sounded from the other side of the door, and I stiffened. I heard the bedding rustle, and I could picture her waking up, rubbing her eyes as she looked around the dark room, wondering where I’d gone.

  I didn’t answer, hoping she’d think I hadn’t heard her. I didn’t breathe.

  “Anton?”

  This time her voice was just on the other side of the bathroom door.

  I didn’t know what to say. Usually, by the time I was seeing the women I slept with, I’d had a chance to put on my suit – my armor. I saw them in the light of day when we were both fully clothed, and any emotions tied to the act we’d committed together had faded with time. This felt too fresh. If I saw her messy bed head and her slim, naked body wrapped up in my sheets, I’d throw her back down on the bed and stay there all day. I’d make promises I couldn’t keep and say things I couldn’t take back.

  “I just got out of the shower,” I said, shouting through the door.

  My voice felt weak and unnatural. I hoped Bailey wouldn’t notice. The door handle shook, and I felt like I was in a horror movie, the monster lurking just outside the door. Except, of course, the monster in my case was a beautiful, naked woman.

  “You should go get ready, too.”

  “Oh, why?” she asked.

  I could picture the ridge of confusion between her eyebrows. “I have an errand to run, and I want you to come with me.”

  “Oh.” She sounded considerably more chipper. “Is thirty minutes okay?”

  “That’s perfect.”

  “Okay.”

  I could tell she was lingering outside the door, wondering whether I’d open it and mention something about the night before. I stood in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror, the warning in my eyes pinning me to the spot. I needed those thirty minutes to compose myself.

  After a few seconds, I heard her footsteps pad across my bedroom floor and then she was gone. I finally let myself breathe normally. Everything would be okay. Even if I couldn’t keep it together, after the day I had planned for Bailey, a relationship between the two of us would be incredibly unlikely.

  Chapter Ten

  Bailey

  I floated through my morning routine as if in a dream. My body felt light. Like, physically lighter. Anton knew how to manipulate my body, and he’d tore me down and built me back up too many times to count the night before. When we had finally tired of pleasure, we’d fallen back into his bed, naked and tangled up in one another.

  I’d been with enough men to have a range of sexual experiences. Everything from men who couldn’t touch
me without blowing their load to men who seemed to have the Kama Sutra memorized. But still, no one had ever made me feel the way Anton did. The simple brush of his hand across my hip sent tingles down my spine. I didn’t know what to expect with him, and it was exciting.

  Anton hadn’t said what errand he had to run, but I assumed it had something to do for work. So, after my shower, I opted for one of my more business formal outfits – a gray linen dress and black pumps. The dress had a square neckline that skimmed across the top of my cleavage, hiding just enough for it to be work appropriate. The stiff material clung to me perfectly, tapering in at my waist and skimming over my hips and thighs. I looked like a naughty secretary from one of the pornos Brendan was always watching, and I could only hope Anton would find time in the day to bend me over a desk.

  I shook my head, trying to clear the dirty thoughts now swirling around in it. Anton and I were very far from having a defined relationship. We’d had sex. Incredible, passionate, mind-blowing sex, but still. It wasn’t a relationship. In fact, I still didn’t know whether dinner on the balcony had been a date or not. I couldn’t allow myself to fall for someone who may not even be interested in me.

  I shook out my freshly washed hair and then twisted a strand from each side into a knot at the back of my head. It made my still-damp curls look slightly more styled. Then, I pressed some bronzer to my pale cheeks, swiped on my favorite red-orange lipstick, and curled my lashes. I wouldn’t win any beauty competitions, but I was totally nailing the “less is more” look.

  When I made it to the living room, Anton was already there, sitting on the edge of the sofa in a gray suit, his muscular legs crossed and straining against the material of his pants. He had his phone in his hand, and his eyes squinted at the screen. He didn’t look up as I entered.

  “Good morning.” I smiled, but he didn’t look up to see it. He simply waved and then rose to his feet, shoving his phone into his pocket.

  “We need to get going,” he said, already turning towards the elevators. “We’re running late.”

  I looked at the clock hanging above the fireplace. I was five minutes earlier than I said I’d be, but Anton seemed tense, so I decided not to mention it.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, trying to break the stony silence between us as the elevator whirred us towards the ground floor.

  “You’ll see,” he said, still not looking at me.

  Was he regretting the night before? Had it been a test I hadn’t passed? I’d spent the morning thinking about how amazing he’d made me feel, but what if I hadn’t lived up to his expectations? What if this was Anton’s way of slipping me quietly back into the role of employee, no longer considering me good enough for anything else? Could I live that way? Could I work for Anton every day, knowing how it felt to have him inside of me and knowing it would never happen again?

  I pushed the thought from my mind, doing my best to steady my breathing and calm my rapid heart. Perhaps Anton simply wasn’t a morning person. I couldn’t let one bad interaction throw everything into jeopardy. He was the only thing standing between me and living on the street. Plus, Anton didn’t hit me the way Brendan had. Being with him, even if only as his employee, was a hell of a lot better than living with Brendan. I couldn’t mess this up.

  I’d assumed we would be going back to the office to get some work done, but that assumption went out the window as we drove through the business district and I watched as the buildings around us morphed into warehouses and crumbling bricks and chain-link fences. Where was Anton taking me? What kind of errand did he have to run in a place like this? I wanted to ask, but Anton had made his position on the matter pretty clear. I would find out when we arrived.

  Finally, the driver pulled off the road and into a parking lot. Or, at least, what was left of a parking lot. The asphalt was more cracks than anything else, and tall weeds and grasses pushed up through the ground, nature reclaiming what rightfully belonged to it. The building looked like it hadn’t been used in this century, let alone this decade. Every window on the side facing the deserted street had been shattered, and graffiti marred the gray stones. Gang tags and hearts with initials inside of it coexisted on the building between crude cartoon drawings of male genitalia.

  In short, it didn’t look like a place where a businessman would go to conduct upstanding, lawful business. It looked like a place where druggies would overdose, and their bodies wouldn’t be found until they had decomposed to bones.

  I thought for a minute the driver was just going to use the lot to turn around and head back towards the heart of the city, but then the car came to a full stop, and I heard the driver shift into park. Anton moved towards the door.

  “This is where we’re going?” I asked, unable to hold my tongue.

  Anton nodded. “It won’t take long.”

  “But what are you doing here? This place is deserted.”

  He looked at me, a cool indifference making his eyes hazy. “Part of your job description is to accompany me to my meetings. This is one of my meetings.”

  “I didn’t realize I’d be at risk of contracting Hep B at your meetings,” I snapped back, growing tired of his surly mood. What had happened between last night and now? What had changed?

  “Considering your past, I didn’t think you’d be such a snob.”

  Considering my past? What did he know about my past? If he really thought I’d spent my time in places like this, then Anton really didn’t know anything about me. That realization hit me like a slap in the face. I’d hinged my future on this man, and he didn’t know me. Other than the brief personal history I’d offered up in which I discussed my previous job and my relationship with Brendan, Anton didn’t know me from Eve.

  Anger made me silent, unspoken words coursing through my veins like poison. And while I sat there, stewing and fuming, Anton opened the door and turned to extend a hand.

  “Are you coming or not?”

  I slid across the seat, ignoring his offer of help, and walked past him towards the building, prepared to show him I could handle whatever test this was. I wouldn’t be frightened away so easily. If he were trying to get me to quit, he would have to do a lot worse.

  I was halfway across the parking lot before I realized I didn’t know where the front door was. Or if there was a front door at all. Large plywood sheets covered large sections of the building, and the door could have been hiding behind those. I stopped, surveying the building and trying to pull my heel from a crack in the pavement when Anton walked up behind me, his hand hitting my lower back.

  “The door is around the side.”

  I hated the tingle that moved up my spine at his touch and the way the hair on my neck stood up when he spoke. Even in my anger, I couldn’t deny my animal attraction to him. Even when my brain told me not to fall for him, not to let him sweep me off my feet, my body betrayed me.

  Anton led the way to the side door, and I followed him at a distance, trying not to watch the way he swayed as he walked. The way the muscles in his back stretched the fabric of his suit jacket. Instead, I stared down at my own feet until we were inside.

  If the building looked bad from the outside, it smelled even worse inside. Like mold and rot and dampness. I wanted to cover my nose but didn’t want to give Anton the satisfaction of making me uncomfortable.

  The side door opened to a long hallway that stretched the length of the building from front to back, and when we stepped inside, Anton stopped.

  “Are you thinking of buying this building or something?” I asked, trying to figure out why on earth he would have brought me here.

  Somewhere in the back of my mind the thought that he could have brought me there to hurt me bloomed, but I did my best to squash it down. If he wanted to hurt me, he could have done it at his apartment. He didn’t need to drive me to the edges of the city and do it in some abandoned building. Unless, of course, he wanted to kill me. In which case, the abandoned building would be the perfect place to ditch a body.

>   Suddenly, the air felt rancid. Each breath burned my lungs, and I struggled to breathe.

  Anton turned, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “This hunk of crap? Absolutely not. I would empty my bank account trying to make this place even party habitable.”

  “Then what are we doing here?” My voice was shaky despite my efforts to keep it even.

  Just then, the door opened behind me, sending a shaft of light into the dark hall, and I yelped, jumping forward and into Anton’s arms. He wrapped himself around me, pulling me into his chest, and for a second, I thought what a nice way to go. If I had to die in a building full of asbestos and black mold, at least I got to smell the woodsy, masculine scent of him one more time.

  Anton seemed to come to his senses, and he pushed me away, holding me by the shoulders until I was standing on my own two feet. As soon as I was stable, he let go and stepped back. Two hulking humanoid shapes stood in the doorway. They seemed twice the size of an average man, and they were silhouetted in the bright morning light outside.