Waltz This Way

by Dakota Cassidy

  The ground beneath Mel wobbled and shifted, her vision becoming blurry and distorted. Thankfully, her tongue neither wobbled, nor blurred.

  She forced her shoulders to lift in an indifferent shrug. Like it was no big deal Stan was sticking his tongue down Yelena’s throat while experiencing the splendor of aged sharp cheddar.

  “How does it feel to spend a good portion of your paycheck from Satan on all that peroxide?”

  The blonde’s eyes narrowed for only a second before she regained her composure. Just as she was gearing up to lob another question at Mel, another reporter shoved the blonde to the side while yet another crowded her up against the building until she almost couldn’t breathe from their close proximity.

  Fighting down a sob of rage, she stooped, hoping to gather the rest of her things and run as far away as she could, but they had her packed too tightly against the building.

  Screw her antibacterial soap. She grabbed at the important stuff, her wallet and her keys, her fingers scraping the concrete as she did.

  Mel rose, sucking in a harsh breath at the head rush that assaulted her, and in stoic silence, began to push against the cluster of hands holding microphones, her heart crashing out a painful rhythm in her ears.

  Some of the neighboring store owners had begun to gather along the sidewalk, their obvious curiosity stung just as good as any sharp slap across her face. Their whispers made her sad. No one made a move to help her fight her way out of the throng of cutthroats.

  And she’d once thought they were all sort of like neighbors. Like the kind that always had each other’s backs when vulture reporters were breathing down your neck? Nice neighbors, the lot of ’em.

  Definitely not Mr. Rogers approved.

  Biting her lip, while making a conscious choice not to let the scourge of humanity get one single word from her, Mel went at them headfirst, bulldozer style.

  Her yelp was warrior-ish and meant as a warning when she lunged into the crowd, caring little if she stepped on toes.

  Then Tito Ortiz, twelve, and on his way to a brilliant Latin ballroom dancing career if his father would get over the “dancing is for girls” thing and let him, grabbed her hand. “Ms. Mel! Hurry, follow me!”

  He gave her the last yank she needed to break free. Mel crashed into a cameraman, hissing when their shoulders made hard contact as Tito tugged her to freedom.

  She clung to his sweaty hand, tripping on the edge of the sidewalk while trying to keep up. The distinct crunch of her toe, encased in canvas slip-ons, forced her to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from crying out.

  “I know a shortcut, Ms. Mel! Run faster, they’re catching up!” he yelled, dodging and ducking until they reached an alleyway she was unfamiliar with. Tito stopped short at the end of it, gasping for breath in unison with Mel.

  He took her forearms in his hands and squeezed them. His dark eyes, filled with concern, pierced hers. “You stay here, Ms. Mel. I’ll get Mama. She’ll bring you home, okay?”

  Mel nodded mutely, letting her head fall back on her shoulders while she fought to catch her breath. Her toe throbbed with a hot ache, but it didn’t match the throb of humiliation or the sharp stabs of pain to her heart.

  “Wait right here, Ms. Mel. I’ll make sure they don’t find you.”

  Tito’s words, so sweet and reassuring, brought her reality into focus.

  Stan was schtupping Yelena.

  In Wisconsin.

  During a cheese fest.

  The bastard would pay.

  Then a thought hit her. No. He wouldn’t pay. Not in houses and diamonds anyway.

  A tear slipped down her cheek. She swiped at it in an angry gesture when it fell into a patch of sunshine pushing its way through the two buildings.

  It was such a nice day. Wow. It truly sucked to find out your husband was banging some hard-bodied choreographer on such a nice day.

  News like that should only come on rainy days.

  * * * *

  “Daddy?” Mel sobbed into her dying cell phone almost ten hours and a hair-raising escape with Tito’s mother from the alleyway later. Hating how weak she sounded, she stiffened her spine and clenched her teeth.

  “Ah, pork chop, I thought you’d never call back.”

  The gruffly gentle, sympathetic tone of her father’s voice made a fresh batch of tears fight to seep from her eyes. “I think I need to come home now. Do you have room for me and Weezer?”

  “I always have room for you, Grape-Nuts. You come on home and we’ll make everything all right. Together. Just like we used to.”

  Like they used to. As if a banana-split sundae could make this better. Well, maybe it could. If it had sprinkles. The chocolate ones.

  She shook her head at the memory. Her breath shuddered on its way out of her throat, her pride shattered. “I think I need to borrow money to… buy a ticket…”

  There was a grunt on the other end, a familiar one of angry discontent. “That sonofabitch!”

  Oh, if he only knew the half of the sonofabitch Stan was, Mel thought, taking one last look at her house in the Hills, her locked house in the Hills, before getting into her friend Jackie’s SUV, giving Weezer, her Saint Bernard a nudge into the backseat. “I…” She couldn’t speak.

  “You just get to LAX, Mel. I’ll make sure a ticket’s waiting for you and Weez. A ticket and a big hug from your old pop when you get here.”

  Mel choked on her gratitude. Jackie grabbed the phone from her.

  “Mr. Hodge? It’s Jackie Bellows, Mel’s friend here in L.A. I’ll make sure she gets to the airport, and I’ll have what that asshole left her, which wasn’t much, by the way, shipped to your house. Don’t you worry about anything but catching her at the other end.” Jackie nodded at the phone, then ended the call with a short goodbye.

  Mel curled up in the passenger seat, pressing the side of her face to the window while she watched her house turn to a tiny dot among hundreds and simmered.

  Jackie reached a hand over the console, squeezing her knee.

  “Stan’s a fuckhead-fuckwad.”

  Mel nodded. He certainly had the “fuck” part covered—in all contexts of the word.

  Jackie shook her head of spiky, platinum blond hair. “You need a good lawyer.”

  That got a reaction out of her. “For?”

  “He locked you out of your house, Mel, and took the studio away. How can he do that shit? No warning. No nothin’? He just blindsided you. Not okay. Not legal by California law, either. This is a community property state. You need a lawyer to straighten this out.”

  Mel let her head sink to her hands. Where had this come from?

  Stan might not have been the most supportive, loving husband in the world, but he’d never been cruel.

  Jackie slapped her hand against the steering wheel. “But it is legal—if you signed a prenup, that is. You didn’t…”

  Oh, but she had. “I did. At the beginning of our marriage. I thought you knew that.”

  “Then we got trouble.”

  Mel’s smile was watery and grim. “Right here in River City.”

  “You could always come stay with us, Mel. We have plenty of room.”

  And they did. Jackie and Frank had eight thousand square feet, a guesthouse, four kids, two rabbits, a snake, five dogs, and a tarantula. All on three glorious acres.

  Helpless rage sank to the pit of her stomach. “And do what? I have nothing, Jackie. No money. No job skills. I don’t suppose you know of anyone hiring chubby one-time ballroom and Latin champions, do you?”

  Jackie grunted at her. “You let that shit make you think you’re fat. I’ve only told you a thousand times, Mel. You’re not fat. But Stan is a fathead. Yes, that fucker is.”

  Yes. That fucker was.

  “And you don’t have to work, honey. It’s not like we’d charge you rent. It’s not like we’re not filthy rich, you know. Why don’t you just come to the house—let me baby you for a little while. I’ll make pasta alla vodka,” she cajoled, ment
ioning one of Mel’s favorite dishes. “In the meantime, maybe Frank can talk to one of his lawyer buddies while they play the stupidest game on earth, golf, and we can figure out a way to squeeze something out of Stan’s pocket. Nothing’s ironclad anymore.”

  She used the corner of the collar on her sweater to wipe more tears from her eyes. “I think I just need to see my dad, Jackie. But I appreciate the offer.”

  No way was she leeching off her rich friend while she hunted for a job at Target and planned Stan’s homicide. The fewer people involved in the crime, the less she’d have to worry for their safety.

  “I can’t believe he put his shit out there on national TV like that. I didn’t like Stan from the moment I met you two, and you know it, but I never thought he’d do something this craptacular.”

  That much was true. Jackie had never hit it off with Stan when they’d met at a function twelve years ago for a children’s cancer charity. She hadn’t been afraid to share that they’d never do couple things together, but she and Mel had been almost inseparable since.

  “Do me a favor, would you?” Mel asked her friend.

  “Just ask.”

  “You’ll probably travel in the same circles as Stan, you know, being married to a big television producer. The next time you see Stan at some party or charity event, flip him the bird for me. In fact, use both hands when you do it.”

  As they pulled into LAX, Jackie growled, “You got it, BFF. Now you do me a favor?”

  “Because I have so many to give.”

  “Don’t rule out coming back to L.A. Living with your dad in a retirement village is not the place for a forty-something, beautiful woman who has hips that should have been registered as lethal weapons back in the day. I’m just not a Jersey, The Situation, Snooki kind of girl. New York I can do—there’s shopping. But I’m not sure I love you enough to fly to Jersey just so we can grab a hamburger and margaritas at some diner for BFF night.” Jackie followed her joke with a warm grin.

  Mel wanted to chuckle. She just couldn’t. “I’d say I’m hurt, but I’m pretty sure there’s nothing left on me to hurt.”

  Mel popped open the door before Jackie could feel any sorrier for her, reaching back in to grab Weezer’s leash and her wallet. The first step she took made her teeth clench.

  Jackie was out and around the car in seconds, wrapping her slender arms around Mel’s neck. The scent of her perfume made more tears sting Mel’s eyes. “Make sure you ice that toe—it’s broken. It’s broken because of that fuckly fucker,” she snarled.

  “It’ll be fine. I’ve broken worse than a toe before.”

  “Yeah, but now you’re old and fat. Takes longer to heal,” Jackie joked.

  Mel gave her one more squeeze, forcing back the bitter flow of tears threatening to fall. “Thanks, Jackie. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come to check on me.”

  Jackie leaned down and gave Weezer’s big head a scratch. “You take care of Mommy, ’kay, pal?” Then she whipped around, her finger pointed. “And you,” she yelled to a man, hovering in the departures area with a camera around his neck. “If you take that picture, you’ll find out how yoga gives this woman a strong core.” Turning back to Mel, she said, “Hurry up and get out of here before I have to embarrass Frank all over Tinsel Town.”

  Mel gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll call you.”

  “You’d better.”

  She gave Weezer’s leash a tug, hobbling behind him before turning one last time to wave goodbye to Jackie.

  And every single thing in her life as she knew it.

  Chapter 2

  Six months later

  “Myriam Hernandez!” Mel skidded to a halt at the exit door of Leisure Village South’s rec center, wincing when her still-sore toe caught on one of the vacant chairs left at table number nine. Her breathing was irregular, and her heart beat a dance in her chest so harsh, she thought it might pound out of her.

  She really needed to build her endurance back up—or maybe actually move occasionally. When a seventy-year-old could beat you in a sprint from one end of the room to the other, it was time to reevaluate your mattress time versus your upright and awake time.

  Taking a gulp of air, she bellowed, “Myriam!”

  Myriam’s silver head cocked at the sound of Mel’s voice for only a moment, clearly considering an escape route, then she made a break to pop open the door and flee her bad behavior.

  But Mel was too quick for her. She planted herself in front of the steel door on a stumbling skid, crossing her arms over her chest, and cocking an eyebrow in inquiry.

  Myriam gave her a brief guilty look, but her thinning, coral-glossed lips said she knew her sharp tongue was going to have to atone. She narrowed her dark eyes at Mel, preparing her defense.

  “Who was it? Damn Nancys, the lot of them,” she grumbled.

  “You mean who nearly knocked me over to tell me your latest madcap entry to the Pillage and Plunder Diaries?”

  Myriam grunted, her smile begrudgingly tinted with a hint of admiration. “You’re funny.”

  “You’re work.” Mel blew a lock of her hair out of her face with a tired breath and fought a smile.

  Stern. She must not feed the beast in Myriam. If she let Myriam know her razor-sharp tongue and lightning-fast wit made Mel chuckle herself to sleep at night—she was doomed.

  Myriam cackled, slapping her on her arm. “I like that you’re a ‘take no horseshit’ gal.”

  “Good. Then you won’t mind giving me no horseshit. You know, sort of as a gift for all the prior horseshit you’ve given me?” Mel teased.

  “C’mon,” Myriam cajoled. “Who was it?”

  “Who do you think it was?”

  Myriam shrugged with indifference, hoisting her prim shoulder bag with the butterflies on it to the front of her body in a defensive stance. “I don’t know. There’re at least a dozen stoolies in this place. Bunch of namby-pambies, they are. Could have been anyone who ratted me out.”

  Mel hid a smile, one of the first genuine smiles she’d experienced since she’d come to Leisure Village. “So, what you’re saying is, you didn’t tell just one available male senior, but a dozen, they had wilted winkies and couldn’t handle the likes of all your womanliness?”

  Her bottom lip curled with indignation. “I did not say ‘womanliness.’ I said ‘my feminine curves,’ and I’d bet my Celebrex it was that sissy Norm Peterson. He’s always talkin’ like it’s the size of a blue whale’ s—those are the biggest winkies on record, by the way”—she made a wide gesture with two hands—”but Mildred Stein says different.”

  Mel sighed. She just wanted to go home and sit with her dad and Weezer and watch Yard Crashers reruns. “So why do you antagonize? If you keep being so cantankerous, I’ve heard talk about a petition to ban you from all social activities. Tonight it’s senior speed dating—last week it was sunset shuffleboard. You can’t just whack someone over the head with your shuffleboard stick and expect to get away with it. Do you know how many complaints I got in the suggestion box after that? In fact, it’s not even a suggestion box anymore—it’s the ‘What Myriam Did to Me Today’ box.”

  “Bet no one put their name on the suggestions,” she sneered, cracking a sinister smile like she was head gangster senior and the resident seniors were all her gangster minions.

  Which wasn’t totally off the mark. Myriam Hernandez struck fear in the hearts of all Leisure Village seniors. Mel was responsible for policing all of Elder-Landia, and Myriam didn’t make walking this beat easy.

  “That’s because they’re all afraid of you.” Mel shook her finger under her most difficult senior’s nose. “Now, this can’t go on, Myriam. I have people to answer to if I have any hope of keeping this job, a job I can’t afford to lose.” She winced, fighting a tone of desperation.

  Trying to keep her private life private was virtually impossible, not just in the Village, but in town—at the Krispy Kreme, at the diner, in the Stop & Shop. The list went on and on.<
br />
  “Because you’re married to a crusty wiener.”

  Her stomach turned. “Well, technically, I’m not married to him and his crusty wiener anymore.”

  It just felt like she was still married to him because the press wouldn’t let her not be married to him since he’d informed her they were getting divorced.

  On television.

  In an exclusive interview.

  After he’d been caught in a picture taken by a random fan, kissing the fabulously rock-hard Yelena with no last name.

  At a cheese fest.

  “Shoulda taken a cue from me and hit him with the shuffleboard stick. Woulda served him and his Ring Dings right.”

  Heat flushed Mel’s face. Yeah. His Ring Dings definitely needed checking. She’d spent many nights watching reruns of CSI in the hopes she’d find the perfect way to kill Stan without getting caught.

  “Violence isn’t the answer, Myriam.”

  “It is if you want to win at checkers.”

  “Yeah. Speaking of checkers—what’s this about you taking all of the red checkers from the rec center, anyway?”

  “Nobody would let me play.”

  Mel gave Myriam’s arm a squeeze to soften the blow. “Nobody lets you play because you get angry and throw things. Now, enough’s enough. No more hijinks—no more hitting people with that suitcase you call a purse and absolutely no more mocking some man’s”—she leaned in to Myriam and whispered—”penis. Okay? How about we make a deal. You play nice for the next month—not a peep—and I’ll pretend I never saw the zillion suggestions to boot you to my boss lady Max. I’ll throw them all away.” She stuck her hand out, likely making a deal with the devil herself. “Deal?”

  Myriam took it and gave it a firm shake. “Fine. But if Norm brags one more time, I’m gonna give it to him but good.”

  Mel pushed open the door, ushering Myriam out into the warm August air. “No. You’re going to ignore him and smile secretly to yourself because you know he really doesn’t have a penis the size of a blue whale.”

  “Really, who does have a penis the size of a blue whale these days? I hear it’s rare,” a man’s voice remarked with a hint of laughter in it from behind Myriam. “Aunt Myriam?”