Over Our Heads

by Andrea Thompson

  “You want pink or clear?”

  “Pink.” Grandma leaned forward to survey her choices, then winced.

  “It hurts, eh?” Emma said as she took a bottle of pink polish off the dresser top, then sat across from her grandmother in a chair.

  Grandma nodded, placed her hands on Emma’s knees, fingers stretched out and shaking.

  “Bad?”

  “Bad enough. It’s better than it was though. Rachel gave me some Advil. Don’t worry. We’ve got all the time in the world, love. I’m just glad you’re here.”

  Emma gently patted one of her grandmother’s hands down on her knee. It stilled. The other she held as she painted on the polish.

  “You know I heard that in the Caribbean they call it travelling. You know what I mean, Gram? Like, when someone’s getting ready to go. Travelling. I like that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I like that too, love. Travelling. That’s good.”

  Footsteps approached in the hall. Emma and Grandma both looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway, looking at Grandma’s hot pink nails.

  “Oh for God’s sakes, you’re kidding me. You’re giving her a manicure?”

  Emma used her foot to kick the door closed. The footsteps retreated.

  After Emma was finished with Grandma’s nails, she curled the thin crispy wisps of grey into orderly waves. It wouldn’t have to last long, just a couple of days in the hospital at most, and maybe enough of the shape would hold till the end.

  Emma took out her make-up bag. “Just a bit of blush for the lady, what do you think?”

  “Why not?” Grandma replied, her eyes softening.

  12.

  EMMA WAS SIX-AND-A-HALF, and it was almost time for school to start. She knew because all the commercials showed shiny clean children buying binders and pens and new jeans. Jamie Francis kept talking about how he was going to see all his friends soon, and Nina went to the drug store to spend her allowance on blood-red back-to-school nail polish. It was time for Emma and Lester to finally go to school now too, but nothing was happening. Mamma Shirley wasn’t buying them anything, or saying anything at all. Jamie Francis told Emma that six was the age when you have to go to school, or you got thrown in the Pen. He was going to junior high school that year, and could name all the provinces and territories. Nina already knew how to speak French, but Emma didn’t know anything. She didn’t even know how to read. She had never been inside John Robson Elementary School; she’d only hit tennis balls against it with Jamie Francis a couple of times. Lester didn’t know much either, but he didn’t give a hoot. He said he didn’t have to worry about school, because his parents would be back to get him before it started. He still wore his shiny shoes and his bow tie. Jamie Francis said the other kids were going to make mincemeat out of him. Emma vowed she wouldn’t let that happen, and planned to put some willow branches in her schoolbag, just in case she needed something to swing at someone.

  Mamma Shirley said there was plenty of time and moved through the house too fast for Emma to be able to ask her anything else. She was the Tasmanian devil twirling around and around, cleaning everything all the time, telling Emma and the other kids that she was too busy for their foolishness. Everything seemed to be foolishness to Mamma Shirley those days. She had a new job, now that Just Jack was home all the time. She worked at Woodlands where the bad kids go. Emma thought that Woodlands was a pretend place that Nina had made up to scare her, but no. It was a real place all right, not only for retarded kids, but ones who were so bad and crazy that they got sent away, even if they had real parents. Emma had figured out that “retarded” meant not smart like normal people, but it wasn’t nice to say it out loud because nobody could help the way they were born. Sometimes Mamma Shirley had to work late and there was no dinner, so Jamie Francis or Nina got it. Toast with peanut butter or mini-pizzas, usually. That was okay because Emma knew why everything was different. It was because Just Jack was gone now. His body was still there, but the rest of him was gone.

  It had started at the beginning of the summer. One day out of nowhere, everything changed. Just Jack stopped wearing his blue shirt with the badge on it. They weren’t allowed to ask him why he wasn’t going to work or say anything at all about the Pen, which was hard because it had been all over the news. One day Just Jack himself had been on TV, walking fast, looking scared, with his hand pushing the camera away. The announcer had said that he was one of the accused. That meant he was one of the men who had shot the lady hostage. She’d been a chef, at least she had been until Just Jack or one of the other guards at the Pen shot her dead.

  Jamie Francis said it was an accident, and that they meant to shoot one of the bad guys, but that the lady was in the way. “There was a goddamned riot, Emma! Imagine all those criminals running around like crazy taking over the place. We’re lucky he got out of there alive!”

  Mamma Shirley had gotten mad at the dead lady. She smacked her fist on the table and yelled, “Well what the hell did she expect? Did she think she was working in Disneyland? Things happen sometimes. It’s no place for a woman to have been working. What did she expect? I don’t understand why you can’t go back. Everyone knows it wasn’t you. You could go back, you know. There’s no shame in it.” And poof, Just Jack was gone. He’d grabbed his coat, gone out the door, and stayed out till way after they all had gone to bed.

  “They have to do an investigation,” Jamie Francis said. “That’s why he’s not allowed to go back to work at the Pen. They have to ask everyone what happened, and see whose bullets ended up in the lady. Then they’re going to have a big trial like on Perry Mason.”

  So, all Just Jack did that summer was wait for the investigation to start. Emma had hoped there would be another camping trip to the Kootanays, but Jamie Francis said there was no chance in hell. Just Jack had stayed glued to the television, watching the news, re-runs of Adam 12 and episodes of The Rockford Files, and eating Pop Tarts and Spaghetti-O’s right out of the can. When they had forgot he was there, and made a ruckus in the living room, he’d tell them to bugger off outside.

  Mamma Shirley would stand in front of the TV when she got home and tell him to go mow the lawn or run to the store to get milk. “I should be so lucky,” she’d say, “I’d love to sit around all day and watch my soaps. Who knows what’s happening in Genoa City now. The TV Guide says this might be Katherine Chancellor’s last season. That’d be just my luck.”

  Emma wanted to ask someone about kindergarten, but she was afraid because of what Nina Buziak said about Woodlands. Nina had said that a girl named Suzy Sinclair from her old foster home used to live there. “Suzy was my best-friend, so I got the real-deal low down on what it’s like there,” Nina said.

  “Well if your best-friend used to live there, then she must be retarded, too.”

  Nina laughed. “They didn’t send Suzy to Woodlands because she’s retarded, Emma. They sent Suzy to Woodlands because she doesn’t take shit from anyone, and because she stuck a fork in her foster dad’s arm while he was sleeping on the couch one day.”

  “Why?” Emma asked, eyes wide.

  Nina sighed, “Well if you must know, Emma, it’s because he kept trying to fuck her and she’d had it with him. Before that she tried to set the house on fire. Poured vodka all over his bed, and tossed a lit match on top. Burned up the whole bedroom.” Nina laughed. “Suzy Sinclair is a bad ass, that’s why she got sent to Woodlands, not because she’s a retarded little Indian like you.”

  Nina said the “f” word. And her best friend had stabbed her foster dad in the arm with a fork. Emma didn’t know what to say next. So, she walked out of the room, slow and backwards to the sound of Nina’s laughing.

  The investigation into the shooting at the Pen led to a big trial that took place on the first day of kindergarten. Just Jack had to go to the trial, and Mamma Shirley was going too, so Nina was supposed to take Emma and Lester to their first day
at school. That morning, after everyone had their breakfast, Emma tried to tell Mamma Shirley that she could find her own way there, but Mamma Shirley said she was sorry, and that it was time for Nina to help.

  Mamma Shirley, Just Jack, Jamie Francis and Nina all went upstairs to get dressed and showered. Lester was playing truck driver in the backyard. Emma knew because she heard him say “10-4 good buddy” into the garden spade. He was still in his pajamas. Emma went outside for a while to try to convince Lester to get ready for school, but Lester said, “No way, José. Keep on truckin’,” and tooted on an imaginary horn.

  Emma went in the house and got a pair of Lester’s jeans, a plaid shirt, and his Superman underwear. “You better put these on,” she told him. “Everyone knows that this is what all the truck drivers wear. You can’t drive a truck in your pajamas, you know.” Lester bought it, and stripped down right there in the backyard.

  After that, Emma went to find Jamie Francis to see if he could tell her how to get to the little kids’ school. But she was too late, he’d gone already, and so had Nina. Emma was pretty sure she knew the way, but decided that she should have a map just in case. She went into the garage, and got into the car to see if she could find one in the glove compartment.

  While she was bent down looking, Emma heard the garage door open and close. Then she saw Just Jack come in and root around under the garbage bag in the trash can. Then, as Emma peeked over the dashboard, he pulled out a bottle and Emma knew there was booze in it by how sneaky and relieved he looked. He drank and drank and drank, then sat down on the cement step and started to cry like a little kid. His big shoulders shook up and down, until he finally stopped. Then he rubbed his hands across his face, stood up and went back inside.

  Emma stayed in the car until she’d counted a hundred Mississippis. She knew if Just Jack caught her in there, watching him cry like a baby, she’d be in trouble for sure.

  Finally, Emma slipped out and went into the backyard. She’d forgotten to bring the map with her, but didn’t care about that anymore. She’d find her way. She had to talk Lester into coming with her to school. “Maybe your parents will be waiting for you there,” she told him.

  Lester looked at her with big eyes and a smile. Emma felt like a heel, but she knew she had to do it. If Lester didn’t go to school, he might be thrown in the Pen, or worse, if he opened his trap and started yakking about his dead parents coming back they might think he’s loony and send him to Woodlands. Emma knew that Lester would be disappointed when his parents didn’t show up that day, but it was better than Emma losing him forever.

  Emma and Lester made their way down Columbia Street, further than either of them had ever been without having Just Jack, Mamma Shirley or Jamie Francis with them. Emma led them down the street and around the corner until they saw the school. Just the sight of it made Emma feel smarter. There were no kids outside playing. The schoolyard was deserted. Emma knew they were late, and that now they were going to get in trouble. She’d have to come up with a good excuse. While she was standing there thinking, Lester walked over to the side of the building, and peered into a ground-floor window. At that moment, an old man with long grey hair, holding hands with a little girl walked up to where Emma was standing by the doors. Lester ran over to them.

  “What are you doing out here, you two?” the old man asked. Emma thought he was going to give her heck, but instead his dark, wrinkled face opened up into a smile.

  “I’m um – um – ” Emma started, but then stopped. What could she say? What was she doing still standing outside anyway?

  “Nice to meet you Um Um. And who’s your side kick there?” the old man asked. The little girl giggled. She was about Emma’s age, with long dark hair and skin the colour of maple syrup. “Shouldn’t you be inside though Um Um? I mean, I’m not an expert or anything, but I think they teach the classes inside the school, not outside.” The little girl giggled again.

  “I’m Jenny,” she said. “And this is my Grandpa.”

  Emma introduced herself, and Lester, who was standing in front of Jenny’s grandfather, staring at his long hair.

  “Are you an Indian?” Lester asked before Emma could stop him. The old man laughed.

  “Do I look like I come from India? I’m Chinook. What are you a cowboy or something? You gonna try to run me out of town on your horse?”

  “I’m a truck driver,” Lester said. “If you could see my superman underwear you’d know.”

  Jenny and her grandpa both started laughing then. The grandfather laughed so hard that little tears squeezed out of his wrinkly eyes. Emma was about to say something to try to explain Lester, so they wouldn’t make fun of him, but a teacher came out of the doors and looked at the four of them standing there.

  “What’s going on here?” she asked. “I’m Miss Higgins. These kids should be inside, not out here fooling around.” She gave Jenny’s grandpa a cold stare. “School starts at nine a.m. Sharp.”

  Then she looked at the two of them, “Are you Emma and Lester?”

  Emma nodded.

  “Well, your foster mother called to make sure you made it to school. I had to say no. Now I’ll have to leave a message for her at the courthouse so she knows you’re okay. She was worried sick. She said your sister was supposed to take you to school and pick you up today.”

  The teacher looked at Jenny. “You’re Jenny, right?” Jenny nodded her head, gripping tight onto her grandpa’s arm.

  “Okay then. All three of you, in you come.” Then she looked at Jenny’s grandfather again. “Nine a.m., sharp,” she said, turning to open the door.

  Emma went in first. Already, she’d decided that school was not going to be any fun. She wished that she could stay and laugh with the old man some more, but no. Inside they went. Jenny took hold of Emma’s hand, and Emma held on to Lester’s.

  “Wait! My parent’s won’t know what room I’m in,” Lester started, but Emma gave his arm a quick yank, and he shut his trap. Jenny turned to wave to her grandfather. There were tears in her eyes.

  Jenny wasn’t the only Indian in the class. There were two others, little boys who kept their dark eyes down when Miss Higgins spoke to them. Emma tried to ask them if their grandfathers were medicine men too, but Miss Higgins told her to not be such a nosy-pants and to sit down. Miss Higgins wasn’t so mean after all. After recess, she let them draw a picture of their favourite animal. Emma decided to draw Barney, and was putting glitter on his head to show all the words that he would say to Emma that nobody else could hear. Jenny leaned over to look and told Emma her picture was skookum. Emma dropped her crayon.

  “Skookum means jail. Just Jack told us,” Emma said.

  “No, it doesn’t. Skookum means great. Extra super-duper great. It’s not a white people word. It’s an Chinook word, so I should know,” Jenny said defiantly.

  Emma thought about arguing with Jenny, but now she wasn’t so sure. What if Just Jack got it wrong? Just Jack wasn’t an Indian, so what did he know?

  At the end of the day, Miss Higgins told the class that they were wonderful and bravo for their first day at school. Now they had to wait till their parents came to get them. Jenny’s grandpa was the first to come take her home. Jenny gave Emma a big hug and called her Cheechako, and then giggled. Jenny told Emma that the word meant new friend, but also kind of meant that Emma didn’t really know much. Emma didn’t mind, because she knew from the love in her eyes that Jenny was only teasing. Her grandpa gave Emma a high-five, winked at Lester, then took Jenny’s hand and walked toward the playground.

  While they waited for Nina to show up, Emma and Lester watched all the real parents come to get the other kids and take them home. Emma was worried, but she pretended to be listening to Lester, who was telling Emma that his parents were probably going to come get him anyway, and how he’d ask them to give her a ride back to Columbia Street. Miss Higgins kept looking at the clock and then m
aking little tsking noises and shaking her head. After a long time had passed, and the school was quiet except for Emma and Lester, Miss Higgins gave a big sigh and said, “Okay you two. It looks like I’m going to have to take you home myself.” Then she got up and headed to the door. “Come on then,” she said. “I don’t have all day.”

  Emma and Lester walked outside with Miss Higgins toward the parking lot. Emma kept quiet, and tried to keep Lester quiet too. She knew Miss Higgins wasn’t happy to be taking them home. Twice, Emma thought. It’s only the first day of school, and already she and Lester had been in trouble two times. Emma was wondering what Miss Higgins was going to say to Mamma Shirley and whether it was Nina’s fault because she was the one who was supposed to pick them up, when she saw Jenny and her old grandpa heading over to them from the playground.

  “I can take them home if you like,” he said, pointing to Emma and Lester, his wrinkly face turning up around his mouth and his eyes going all crinkly and kind.

  Miss Higgins looked at him, and then at Emma and Lester, then said slowly, “Well, I guess that would be okay.” Miss Higgins looked toward the school, and then around the parking lot. For a minute, it looked like she was going to say something else, but then it was as if she were a balloon that just had all the air let out of it, and she stopped talking, and smiled. “That’s very nice of you to offer Mr –”

  “Olemm,” said Jenny’s Grandpa. “Last name’s Olemm, Miss. But you can call me Jim.”

  “Well thank you, Jim. Are you sure that it won’t put you out?”

  “Nope. I’m happy to do it, Miss Higgins,” Jenny’s grandpa said.

  “Okay, Jim,” she said, looking around the schoolyard one last time. “That’s very kind. They live in a house down at the other end of Columbia – ”

  “I know where my house is Miss Higgins. I can show him,” Emma said.

  “Looks like we’re all good here then, Miss. Don’t worry. I’ll get these kids home safe,” Jim said.