by Sarah Skye
“You really are different, Marco. I see that now.”
“Me too,” Harmony says.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this.” Lily lets out a long sigh just as I hold my breath. “But you and Morgan? It makes sense now.”
I don’t dare utter a word. Shit, did she really just say that?
“I had no idea your family was so awful to you,” Lily says. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
The sincerity in her voice throws me. I have to take a second before mumbling “it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. Just like it’s not okay what Morgan went through with her parents when she was a kid,” Lily says, her tone insistent. “You both had rough upbringings. I can see how you’d bond over that. Your pasts made you both tough and guarded. And resilient. And I guess when you two finally stopped clashing with each other and gave each other a chance, there was clearly something there between you. And that’s honestly really wonderful.”
Harmony nods along with Lily’s spot-on assessment. “The two of you are perfect for each other.”
Holding my breath, I dig my hands into the padding of the armchair in the silence that follows. I’m relieved and ecstatic at what they’ve said, but I also have no fucking idea what I’m supposed to say or do next.
“Wait, so… you guys are cool with us being together?” I ask, my gaze bouncing between the two of them.
Harmony makes an “eh” sound as Lily grimaces. I immediately deflate.
“It’s going to be a hell of an adjustment,” Lily says. “But we’ll get used to it.”
“If Morgan loves you and wants to be with you, then we’re on board too.”
“Absolutely.”
My brows are at my hairline as I stare at them both. I can’t believe it. “So, does this mean I, like, have your blessing to call her? Because if that’s a yes, I’ll call her right now—”
Lily raises her eyebrow, and I immediately shut up. “You have our blessing if you’re going to treat her like the queen she deserves to be treated as. Every single day. But no, you can’t call her, she’s asleep.”
I stammer before saying hell yes I’ll treat her like a damn goddess, but then they stand and start to make their way to the door. I hop up and follow them.
Lily stops and turns back to me. “Talk to her in person. Tomorrow night. You know where she’ll be.”
It takes a moment for me to get it. I frown at her. “Wait. Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “Sawyer Farms. You remember the address, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Go get your girl, Marco.”
Excitement surges through my chest, but then a wave of hesitation hits. Sawyer Farms is where Harmony and I had that apple-picking thing when we were engaged. And as thrilled as I am that Lily seems to be fine with me crashing tomorrow, I can’t do it if Harmony’s not okay with it. It wouldn’t be right after everything I put her through.
I glance over to her, but the look on her face says it all. I can tell she knows what I’m thinking.
“It’s okay, Marco. Truly,” she says, her expression as sincere as her tone.
I let out a breath and tell her “thanks,” then they walk out.
“Wait.” I stop them with a shout before they get too far down the hallway. They both turn to look at me. “Thank you. Both of you. For coming down here. For listening to me. I know that it couldn’t have been easy to give me of all people a chance to explain myself.”
A look passes between the two of them before Lily addresses me. “Everyone deserves the chance to say they were wrong and apologize for it.”
“And grow,” Harmony adds. “I used to be a bully.”
Lily tilts her head at her. “And I used to be a pushover. We all change. You changed too, Marco. If you make Morgan happy, that’s really all that matters.”
I nod, soaking in what they’ve said as they leave. Then I close the door and fall against the nearby wall to process what the hell just happened.
Once it all hits, I jolt up. I’ve got less than twenty-four hours to get my shit together and do this right. I tug at my hair and run a hand along the scruff of my face. I’m gonna need a haircut. And a shave. And a suit.
30
MORGAN
Lily is an absolute vision in a sweet-but-modern gown. The cutout bustier has sexy edges and eye-catching stitching that flows seamlessly into a straight silk skirt with a small train that pools at her feet. Her gorgeous skin and black hair make the pearly white dress pop. She’s hot as hell and sweeter than sugar.
When the bagpiper goes quiet, the piano begins to play Pachelbel’s “Canon in D.” Calder sees her appear at the back of the aisle, and I’m pretty sure his eyes dislocate from their sockets. He scrapes his jaw off the ground and adjusts his kilt. It’s a subtle but unmistakable move that has me trying not to giggle even as I wipe away tears of joy for my friends.
I woke up this morning with a sense of calm that only comes after a cathartic cry. Nothing is better, but I’m making peace with it all. Lily and Harmony were gracious enough to let me spend the morning with them without discussing my horrible confession. They treated me kindly, but I already know what will happen. We’ll get past this day, and the drift will begin. The longer it sinks in for them how badly I betrayed them, the more spaced out brunches and text messages will become. I know this game. Friends have faded before in similar ways, for certainly less valid reasons.
I accept my choices. And, although my heart aches to think about losing my girls, I’m still at peace. I don’t regret falling for Marco. I’m a changed person for the short time I spent with his beautiful, broken self. He gave me everything, if only for a few months. It was enough. It has to be enough. I get to keep those memories, even if they ruined my life.
No regrets. Universe, I hear you on this one.
But this mid-autumn day is for celebration, and that’s what I’m trying to focus on with all of my brain. So the tears that slip down my cheek today aren’t about anguish. They’re about the moment when Calder slips the ring on her hand and says, “Professor, you already have my heart. And if you’ll just say yes, then I swear in front of all the people we love best that you’ll never have to question mo rùn gu bràth,” then winks at the crowd and adds, “That’d be my eternal love, for those of you who don’t speak Gaelic.”
Harmony and I simultaneously lift our hands to wipe our eyes and trade a smile, but Lily catches all our attention as her lip trembles. “Yes, Calder. Yes with my whole heart. I want nothing as much as I want to share my life with you.”
She slides his ring on, and I swear the whole audience sniffles.
We follow the happy couple down the aisle and are swept into the standard hour-plus of photos around the orchard. The day has been warm with a just-right breeze for the first weekend in October, so an afternoon outside in the sunshine is good medicine. I even slip my shoes off and lift the skirt on my silver velvet A-line dress to walk around barefoot in the grass. Grounding always does wonders for my soul.
“Morgan.” Lily calls my name, and I jump back in my shoes to hurry over to help her with her train. We head for the barn and line up two by two. As the maid of honor, I’m paired with Calder’s sister, Lucy. She sports a fantastic tuxedo-style jumpsuit that was the ultimate reason I went with this girly dress over my own jumpsuit. Pants are far more my thing, but coordinating is more important. Lucy is a riot, and I’m sad to know that she’ll be returning to Scotland in a few days. I definitely could use some new friends, and ever since we met her last weekend she’s had me laughing and at ease. Probably has a lot to do with her complete ignorance of my drama, but still. We grin at each other and lead the way into the barn. Harmony and Calder’s friend, Nate, are close behind.
Once the bride and groom come in and open the party with their first dance, it’s dinner and music and all the things a reception should be. But this is Lily and Ca
lder, so of course they put their own creative spin on the evening. Giant easels are set up in the corner with paint markers for guests to add sketches or notes for the couple whenever inspiration strikes. Dinner is fish and chips, roasted chicken with adobo glaze, and lumpia, with champagne and whiskey poured in equal measure. And, before dancing begins, the couple stands up and invites everyone back outside.
The sun is low on the horizon as we follow the merry processional to a huge bonfire. Waiters stand beside long white tables decorated in plaid tablecloths. Graham crackers, chocolate bars, marshmallows, and—for whatever reason—bananas are artfully arranged around the traditional bridal cake. Plates, roasting sticks, and plenty of napkins are available to facilitate our sugar feast.
Lily snatches a banana, wraps it in foil, and hands it to a waiter to set in the fire while we all watch in curiosity, but she and Calder have only just fed each other the first bite of their “cake” when tractors roll up, pulling wagons of hay behind them. Lily turns about fifty shades of red as Calder howls with laughter—clearly, this is his surprise. Harmony and I rush over to help her climb into the wagon decorated with white bows and tin cans on the back. “Just Married” is written in whitewash on the sides of the wagon, and the inside is coated in soft wool blankets to protect her delicate dress. The photographer snaps a ton of photos of us holding Lily’s hands while she tiptoes up a ramp and Calder leaps in beside her, wearing a completely devilish grin. Their wagon takes off, and several other guests hurry to take a ride in the four other buggies. The rest of the party chuckles and tucks in for s’mores and cake.
Harmony and I look at each other and smile again, but that weight is heavy on my chest. Her brows knit. “What’s wrong, Morgan?”
A brittle laugh falls from my lips. “Everything?”
She twists her mouth in a sad smile. “I really don’t think that’s true.”
“I’m gonna miss you,” I choke.
“What do you mean? Where am I going?” Her tone is panicked.
I shake my head. “I know what I’ve done. I’m so sorry, Harmony. I just… well. We’ve gone over this. I’m surprised you can still look me in the eye.”
She does more than that. She absolutely crushes me in a hug. “I hate to break it to you, Morgan Paulsen, but I’m that annoying person who’ll be your friend whether you want it or not. Ask Lily.” She giggles and squeezes me tighter. “Sorry, girl, but you’re stuck with me. With both of us. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s to brunch with you. And I know Lily feels the same.”
I dig my fingers into her back, slightly afraid that my nails are going to leave questionable marks on her skin in this backless dress of hers. “Harmony, but…”
“Shush. Just shush. Think what you want. We’ll show you how we feel.” She kisses my cheek and steps back. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go for a hayride with Lily’s cousins and Calder’s sister. This is an amazing wedding!”
I drift back to the bonfire and accept a marshmallow on a stick from a waiter. Once roasted, I smoosh it into a sandwich and nibble on the corner, but I’m not in the mood for anything sweet. This is an amazing wedding, and while Harmony’s words have given my soul some hope that I might not lose my friends entirely, there’s still a hole in my heart. Even with my friends around, it’s going to be a long damn time before I feel whole—or safe—again.
I kick off my shoes and hook them into my free hand, then slip away from the fire toward the orchard. The sun’s gone down; a full moon rises on the horizon. I smile at it. Full moons are a sign of culmination, a moment to acknowledge what’s come full circle since the lunar cycle began. This one, the harvest moon, signals the end of summer and the start of the dark time of the year. It’s a time to go within and focus on yourself.
Good advice, Universe.
I bite my lip and make a wish on the moon.
Please let Marco keep growing. Please help him find that mastery of his beautiful heart. I know he can do it and be amazing, even if I’m not around to see it.
The grass is getting cool between my toes. I like it. My eyes close as I turn my face up to the sky and breathe in the twilight, painfully aware that my lip is trembling and those breaths are a little more ragged than I want them to be.
“Morgan.”
My name has been called a thousand times today. None of those summonses do the things to my body that this one does. My stomach drops to my toes. Adrenaline shoots through my veins. But that jolt of fear and dread is matched by the way my heart swells—and my root chakra blazes just below my belly button.
But the fear wins out. The shoes and s’mores fall from my fingers as I spin around, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “M-M-Marco. What the hell are you doing here? You can’t—”
Words die on my tongue as I take him in in the low light. Goddamn. He’s wearing a dark suit and white dress shirt, no tie, open collar. He’s cleaned up, but not all the way. There’s a trimmed line of scruff on his jaw, and his hair is styled to a perfect tousle for his dark locks. Even though he’s a few feet away, I swear I can smell his cologne, his skin.
Goddamn. Forget about my chakras. Every part of my body is turned on just looking at him.
Oh, and he knows it. His lips curl into a smirk. He holds his arms out wide and spins in a little circle. “I still clean up okay, huh?”
I don’t know how I remember to roll my eyes and groan. Muscle memory, maybe. “Of course you do.”
He chuckles softly and shrugs. “I wasn’t sure if I still had it in me.”
“You can’t be here.” Once my brain remembers the words, I’m kicked back to reality. I whip my head around, dreading the sight of the wagons returning.
He cocks his jaw in a noncommittal nod. “I thought so, too. But I had no choice.”
“Why?”
All the swagger drops from his aura. His dark eyes soften as his brows tick up. That smirk becomes a sweet curve of his lips. This is my Marco, the man I know too well.
He’s not yours. You know that you can’t—
“Because you’re here.”
My mental scolding dies. Muscles tense from ears to toes. My throat closes up. “How dare you,” I finally choke. “To come here, of all places, and try to pretend like this is anything but cruel.”
Marco shuffles forward until I tilt my face up to meet his gaze. “Morgan.”
“No.”
His eyes flick over me. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he murmurs, mostly to himself. That smirk returns. “But still so damn short.”
“Shut up. I’m barefoot. The dress looks more sensible with the shoes.”
“Hmm.” Marco kneels down and takes my shoes from where they fell. “Prove it.”
With a huff, I let him hold my shoes for me to step into. He rises again, and in these four-inch babies, I am a lot taller.
But that only means our faces are closer together. Shit.
He dips his head so I can feel his breath on my lips. “You’re right, they do make a difference.”
Tears burn my eyes. I push him back. “I can’t take this, Marco. This is too mean. I don’t know why you came here to torture me. I don’t know why you seem so sweet but so chill. I don’t know what the hell is going to happen when those wagons get back and Lily and Harmony and, oh, god, Calder—”
“I was given permission to come here to see you.”
“What?” It’s not a question for him. It’s a question for my body. Because I’m not sure if I’m about to punch him, kiss him, pass out, or burst into tears. I feel like my insides are about to explode.
“Permission?”
“Mm-hmm. Your friends love you deeply. And they dragged me through hell last night to make it clear that I can’t fuck this up and leave you hurting. Are you hurting over us, Morgan?”
The world glitters with my tears. “So bad,” I whimper.
One long finger traces my cheek to wipe those tears away. “Me too,” he murmurs, then tucks a strand of hair behind my ears. I don’t swat
him away. I can’t. I don’t know if I can walk away from him again and not fall apart. His touch is so soft, so absolutely everything I want to hold onto.
“Marco.” I can barely speak, my throat is so thick.
“Morgan. I know all the reasons we’re a no, all the ways we make no sense. But I also know all the ways we do, and dammit if those don’t win in my mind. I know this isn’t going to be easy for us, for your friends, for anyone. But Lily and Harmony came to see me yesterday, and it was the best worst moment of this whole weird journey I’ve been on since Calder broke my nose.”
“They’re never going to be truly okay with this.”
“I think they actually are.”
I sniffle hard. “I’m afraid they’re going to leave me.”
Both his hands cup my face. “They won’t.” He draws a deep, shaky breath. “And neither will I.”
My insides are definitely going to explode with all this. “Really?”
He smiles. And even in my state, I feel his next words in his aura before he says them. “Really. I love you, Morgan.”
“You do?” I hiccup, tears flowing freely now. I grip his jacket and pull him closer.
Marco wraps his arms around me and looks down when I lift my head from his chest. He flashes a grin—and then laughs.
“Of course I do.”
And that’s when I really do explode. Tears and giggles burst out of me in a chaotic, bittersweet mess. I’m drunk on happiness. But I’m also feeling all the tender wounds on my soul that have had me worried all this time.
I blink up at him when I get control of my messy feels. I bite my lip and take a breath. “The way things were don’t have to be the way they are. Tigers don’t change their stripes, but I don’t have to expect the same outcomes as before. This could be different. With Lily and Harmony. With us.
“Of course you do. Of course I love you, too, Marco.”
His aura fucking glows. Marco’s eyes flutter shut. I feel all the tension leave his body even as he holds me tighter against him. “God, hearing you say those words… Can you say it again, please? Then, I’d like to kiss you and maybe pull your hair a little before anyone catches us.”
