Accidentally Perfect

by Torrie Robles

  My mother is warming up to the idea of my pregnancy. She isn’t insulting me every chance she gets now. I still haven’t attempted to invite her over to the house yet. I’m not sure that would be respectful of Nathan. When I told her that I planned on leaving nursing for a while, she basically laughed in my face, spouting off about how I’m allowing a man to take care of me and rule my life. I knew it was a bad idea to tell her what my plans were, I could have just quit the hospital and she would never have known since she doesn’t make it a habit of coming by to see me while I’m working. “Laney?” I turn to see Michael standing next to the bench I’m sitting in.

  “Michael. What are you doing here?” I haven’t seen or heard from Michael since Nathan threw him out of my house. Even with the gossips rags reporting the story he never did respond or try to make the situation worse that what they were already reporting.

  “I’ve been trying to catch up with you for a few weeks now.”

  “Why didn’t you just call?”

  “Because I wanted to see you in person. I needed to see you face to face.”

  “Why? I don’t understand.”

  “I know Laney.” He walks closer to me. My eyes scan for the girls, and they have both seen Michael talking to me.

  “You know what Michael?”

  “I know you’re pregnant, Laney.”

  “And?”

  “Were you going to tell me? Were you going to let him raise my child?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about Michael, but you have been given some extremely wrong information.” I stand up facing him.

  “Momma, are yous okay?” I see Addie and Amanda walk up to me.

  “You are having a baby Laney, my baby, and you thought I didn’t have the right to know? You thought I would be alright with that bastard raising my child?”

  “Mommy?”

  The girls look at me with questions in their eyes. We haven’t told them yet because we wanted to wait. I wanted to make sure I was further along just in case something were to happen. I didn’t think they would understand if I lost the baby. I didn’t want them to have to feel the pain of the loss of their brother or sister.

  “Yous hafin a baby momma?” I look at the girls

  “Answer me Laney?” He takes another step toward me. There is fury in his eyes.

  “Like I said Michael, you have been given some wrong information. I’m not having your child. I’m having my husband’s child.”

  “Bullshit. That’s total bullshit.”

  “I suggest you take a step back away from my wife and my daughters.” I turn my head and see Nathan standing there. His hands are strained at his sides; the muscles in his neck are strained and his eyes are locked dead on Michael.

  I was taking my time walking over to where I knew Laney would be with the girls. I spotted the girls right away, but once I saw them both standing there frozen while the kids around them continued to play I knew something was wrong. When I followed where they were walking, I saw him, standing too close to my wife. The closer I got I heard his accusations. I heard him accuse my wife of being pregnant with his child. But worse of all it was him who told our girls the news. He took something so special away from us. I had it all planned out. The night of Addie getting her walking cast off we were going to take them to dinner. That was when we were supposed to tell them they were going to be big sisters. Then we had planned on taking them to watch Beauty and the Beast on Broadway. But that fucking little pest ruined it all. Now the girls looked crushed because they had no idea their mommy was going to have a baby.

  When he takes another step closer to my wife, I just about lose it. The look on her face was one of fear and confusion. She slowly moves the kids, so they were standing behind her, protecting them. By the time I get to them, I hear him call her out on her bullshit. “I suggest you take a step back away from my wife and my daughters.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Nathan. Please” I look at Laney, and the girls are cowering behind her.

  “Laney, why don’t you take the girls back home?”

  “No, Laney needs to stay here and explain herself. I have the right to know. She owes this to me for keeping it from me for over two months now.”

  “She doesn’t owe you shit. Over two months? Sorry buddy, but she isn’t that far along.”

  “Bullshit. You expect me to believe you. I don’t believe the shit that comes out of your mouth. I want proof. Until I get that, then I expect to be involved in every aspect of my child’s life.”

  “Laney, you need to go.” The anger is pulsing through me. How and the fuck does he think he can come over here and threaten her.

  “Nathan.” I feel her hand wrap around my arm. “Michael. If you want honesty, then I’ll give you honesty. Stella has run every test and ultrasound known to man. This baby is Nathan’s, not yours and I am not that type of person who would ever hide my pregnancy or a child from its father. I don’t know where you got your information from, but they were wrong. You are wrong.”

  “I don’t believe you. I still want proof.”

  “Do you honestly think I would do that to you? Do you honestly think I’m the type of person who keeps a child from their parent? You know me, Michael.”

  “Yes, Laney, but I don’t know him.”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  “Well, you sure are taking Brad’s spot when it comes to them.” He points to the girls, “Why wouldn’t I think you would do the same when it comes to my child?”

  “For Christ’s sake Michael, I am not carrying your child.”

  “I’m still entitled to proof. If there is any doubt that I may be the father, then I want proof.”

  “Michael.”

  “I’ll be in touch Laney. You better answer your phone when I call.” He turns and walks away. I look over at Laney, and the tears are rolling down her cheeks.

  “Come here Laney Bear.” I take her in my arms and pull her close. Her body is shaking as her emotions roll through her. “Girls, go play for a bit more. I’ll call you when we are ready to go home.” They nod their heads and walk solemnly back to the playground. “Sweet girl, look at me.” She brings her head up to meet my eyes. “It’s going to be okay. I know the truth, you know the truth and we just need to make sure that Michael knows the truth.”

  “How? How am I supposed get him to understand?”

  “Give him what he wants. Call Stella and make the arrangements. I will do whatever I need to do to get him to see that this baby is not his.”

  “Okay. I’ll call her now.”

  Laney straightens her back and walks away to call Stella. There is no doubt in my mind this child is mine. I never doubted it. If there was a chance this child might be Michael’s, then I trust that Laney would have told me from the beginning. We would’ve worked through it all if that would have been the case, but it’s not, and now all we have to do it take a little test and all the accusations will be gone. That fact couldn’t come any sooner, that’s for sure.

  Today is doomsday. The day when Michael finds out that he is not the father of my child, of Nathan’s child. Two weeks ago when he confronted me in the park, I called Stella and told her what was going on. She was flabbergasted. It wasn’t just the fact that he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t trust her ability to do her job. We made sure that there was no doubt Nathan is this child’s father. She was more paranoid about it than I was. Maybe it had to do with her professional reputation over the fact that her best friend was in a fucked up situation.

  Nathan, like usual has been a saint while I have been a complete mess. The pregnancy hormones on top of the fear that Stella made a mistake has taken their toll on me for the past couple of weeks. I haven’t left the penthouse. I no longer take the kids to school. Nathan handles that. We haven’t started on Nathan’s House yet. From what I’ve heard Nathan say over the phone the ground is ready. I know that Natalie has been doing some soft fundraising by putting
the bug in the ears of the city’s bigwigs. The stress is overwhelming. My heart races at all times of the day while I’m awake and when I’m sleeping. Usually, I’m startled awake by nightmares of either Nathan leaving me or Michael taking the baby and never allowing me to see it. It doesn’t matter which dream I have, my mother is always in both, expressing her blatant disapproval of my life. I feel like a major disappointment. All of this because I make awful decisions, and I have not the ability to judge people.

  My mother has been reeling over my stupidity. Just when I thought we were getting over everything from our past, this hits the papers. Now her halfway tolerable tyrants have turned into how much of a disappointment I am to her. She has even tried to throw my father in the mix, not to mention that I am a disgrace to the Jacobs name.

  For the past two weeks, not only have I been linked to Michael and continuing our relationship, I have been linked to people I don’t even know, some of them female. How do people come up with the stories? How can I be carrying the child of my lesbian lover? My favorite though has been the one where I stole Elvis’ frozen sperm from whatever sperm bank it was stored in, and now I am trying to take the Elvis Estate for everything. Evidently, I am teaming up with Lisa Marie in that quest.

  Michael is now more vocal in the fact that he has been frozen out of his child’s life. He’s been saying the Whitmore name can buy just about anything, but it’s not about to buy his child. He’s even so gone as far as saying that my lack of character is just an example of why he plans on taking full custody of the baby once it's born.

  Brad has been a champ through all of this. Nathan has had to position men around the high school where Brad works because reporters were trying to sneak on to campus to get the latest scoop. Nathan generously donated to their science department on behalf of the Whitmore name for whatever inconveniences all of this might have caused. The few times Brad has lost his cool and spoke out against the allegations, he has been one hundred percent supportive of my marriage and my pregnancy. He has also stated, under no circumstances will he be taking me to court to try to win custody of the twins.

  Surprisingly, Joseph Riley has been quiet through it all. That doesn’t mean that he is trying to support his son, no not at all. His silence is only telling us that he is probably behind everything that is being falsely reported to the papers. Boy page six is having a field day running my name and my character through the mud like a fat swine. Needless to say, my life has been one big headache, and I just want to run away, preferably to a warm island where they don’t have cell service or Wi-Fi.

  We are meeting Michael at the doctor’s office that he chose for the test. Stella was beyond pissed that he didn’t trust her to do the test. He thought she would change the test to be in my favor. What the hell is this, Days of Our Lives? No, Stella is no baby daddy switching psycho, her words not mine. But whatever, I gave into what he wanted. Luckily the test came in between my scheduled appointments because there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to handle Michael sitting in the chair while the doctor did my monthly exam. “Nat will be here any minute to watch the girls. Are you just about ready?” I look up and see Nathan standing in the doorway of our room.

  “Yes, I guess.” I look in the mirror at myself. I’ve lost weight. The stress is affecting me like I never thought it would. I am just about three months now. Still too soon for an actual baby bump to be visible. In my clothes, you can’t tell. But when I’m naked you can see a faint swell of my belly. If I were at a healthier weight, I’m sure it would take another month or so before you can see anything.

  “Bear?”

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t keep letting everything get to you. It’s not healthy for you, for the baby and especially not for the girls. They miss their mommy, love.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I know deep in my heart this baby is yours, but it’s the what-if that’s haunting me. That’s what’s bothering me. When I know for certain all this was a huge nightmare, then I will able to be the mother and wife I know I should be.”

  “I know. It isn’t much longer.”

  “I’m sorry Nathan. I’m sorry that I have turned my back on you and the girls over the past couple of weeks.”

  Just like I normally do, I zone out and only think of myself. I did it when I was going to school, and Brad cheated on me. I did it when I was so busy at work, and Michael ended up with his face between his neighbor’s nasty-ass legs. I can’t remember the last time that I have touched Nathan, or when I have allowed him to touch me, let alone make love. Wait, I remember, it was two weeks ago. The night before Michael confronted me in the park. It was at that time when I started to basically live my life on hold, waiting for the news that I am praying will come.

  “Baby.” He walks up behind me. I close my eyes as I feel his hands rub up and down my arms. “Please don’t worry about anything. Everything is going to turn out just the way it’s supposed to. I know it will. There is no reason for you getting so upset. I have told you this Laney. It doesn’t matter the results; this baby is our baby. No matter what.”

  “But Michael.”

  “What about him, love? He’s just trying to get his five minutes of fame. Do you know how many rags he has sold his story to? At least fifteen. He is dropping this ridiculous story to anyone who will stop and listen. Once the results are read, it will all go away. I promise you.”

  “I’m trying to be strong Nathan, but I am so scared. I don’t think I have ever been this scared in all my life.”

  “You have no reason for any of the fear you are holding in your heart, love. Hear my words. I love you. You are my everything and it’s going to take more than all of this gossip to tear me away from you and our family. I love you. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I have loved you. Before you even spoke one word to me, you have been mine. Nothing is going to take you away from me. The only way I will ever walk away is if you are right by my side.”

  “Okay, let’s do this.”

  It is taking all my strength not to come unglued. I want to pummel Michael for causing my wife all this distress. If this has any toll on my child, I will not be responsible for my actions. The frailness that is now Laney’s body is just one example of the damage all these lies are causing her. I try to get her to eat, but it’s an absolute task to get anything down her these days. The girls are so sad; they want to play, and right now their mommy doesn’t want to. I have tried everything that I can come up with to try to get their minds off of everything they are sensing in the house. It’s no longer a happy home. You can feel the sadness and stress when you walk in. It seems like for the past two weeks this entire household has been in mourning. I hear Natalie come into the house. “I’ll be right back.” Laney nods to me, and I go to greet my sister.

  “How is she doing?” She puts her purse down on the couch.

  “Not any better. I just want this day to be over with.”

  “It will be. Don’t worry about it.”

  “You remember what I want you to do, right?”

  “Yes Nate, I’m quite smart, you know. I get what you want to happen. Have I ever let you down?”

  “No, you haven’t. Thank you for this.”

  “Don’t even mention it.”

  We walk into the medical building and just as I thought, there were swarms of paparazzi and other news sources standing outside the offices. I have made sure there were guards lined up, so they weren’t able to touch Laney in any capacity. Stella said she would meet us in the office. She insisted on being there for moral support. Once we enter the building the noise from outside quiets. “I’ve got you.” I squeeze Laney’s hand.

  We enter the doctor’s office, and I immediately see Michael sitting with none other than Diane. Fuck me. Of course, she was involved in this. I’m surprised my father isn’t sitting next to them, like one big happy family. “Of course you’re here. You didn’t get enough last time we were in the same room together. You think that starting all this shit is goi
ng to get you anything? You are out of your ever-loving mind, you crazy ass bitch.”

  “I’ve done this for you Nathan, and one day you’ll thank me. One day when you get over whatever infatuation you have with her, I’ll be there waiting. I’m more than willing to give you a child that you are so blatantly fighting for. I will give you your child.”

  “I am fighting for my child. My child with Laney.”

  “You really need to stop thinking like that because it’s only going to hurt more once you are faced with the reality that she is not carrying your child.”

  I look at Michael, and he doesn’t say anything. He isn’t looking too confident now. He actually looks like he would rather be anywhere else but here. Hmm, interesting. “Michael, are you ready for this? If by some chance are you ready to be a father, a good and decent father to this innocent child?” He nods. “Are you ready to love this baby and be there no matter what? For the dirty diapers, the spitting up, the sleepless nights? Is that how you see your life? Twenty-five aren’t you? Man, your life is just beginning isn’t it? Now you may be saddled down with a kid.” I see the uncertainty flash through his eyes.

  “He will do what he needs to do. He wants to be active in his child’s life. He wants to be the father he is meant to be.” Diane answers for him.

  I look over to Laney, and she doesn’t make eye contact with me. I rub her arm trying to give her reassurance, but she isn’t acknowledging me. I hear the door open, and I see Stella walk out into the waiting area. “The doctor is ready.” She scans the room and sees Diane sitting next to Michael. Diane thinks she has won. She has the look of triumph plastered prominently on her Botox face. She pats Michael’s leg, and they both get up. “I don’t fucking think so bitch.” Stella gets in her face. “This is a private matter and there is no way you are going to be involved in it.”