by Alisa Adams
After he got ready, it was time for the ceremony. He walked outside toward the church doors and was stopped in his tracks when he saw her for the first time. She was resplendent in her white dress. It sparkled and shone under the sunlight. Her hair was in tresses and she was the picture of beauty. Seamus’ breath caught in his throat and, for just a moment, all thoughts of Ciara were driven from his mind.
11
Sarina smiled nervously when she saw Seamus approaching. He was every inch the warrior, Laird to this land, and soon-to-be her husband. He had a commanding aura about him and even the trees and flowers around them seemed to bow. Despite her doubts and misgivings about this entire ceremony she couldn’t help but feel a fluttering of excited nerves in her stomach. She was getting married to a man that intrigued her, even if he did not inspire love inside her young heart.
“Ye look beautiful,” he said, his rolling Scottish brogue making the words deeper. She blushed a little and thanked him. The rest of his clan gathered around them. Martha and Donald were glowing and Angus stood as resolute as a mountain. It was a time for joy and celebration and for the moment, Sarina let herself forget about Thomas’ wishes and all that had happened between her family and this clan. Instead, she focused on enjoying her wedding day.
Seamus took her right hand in his left and then opened the kirk doors. They walked down the aisle to where the minister was waiting for them and the rest of the guests poured in and filled the wooden benches. The chapel was small with a few tapestries hanging from the ceiling. It was lit by candles, but there wasn’t much in the way of ornaments. Sarina got the impression that the Highlanders were simple people and focused on the ideals of their faith rather than by dressing the chapel up with expensive items.
The minister was an older man with a long white beard that reached his waist. His hands shook even when he was standing still and his reedy voice echoed in the chapel. The shuffling of feet soon stopped as everyone took their seats, but all the while, Sarina was focused on Seamus. He stood before her like a titan, handsome and proud. Perhaps it was just the emotion of the day, but she found herself feeling happy that she was with this man. However, then she remembered that he had been standing here before with another woman. She was instantly filled with doubt and couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about that time or if she was going to do something foolish that would set her apart from Ciara.
This was all strange to her and although Martha had walked her through the ceremony, she was afraid that she was going to forget something and ruin it for everyone. It didn’t help that Seamus wasn’t saying anything either.
Once everyone was settled, the minister announced that it was time for the caim. Martha had gone over it with Sarina, but all the nerves made Sarina’s mind go blank. Her eyes went wide with panic and Seamus must have noticed for he squeezed her hand. All eyes were on them as they held out their free hands and turned, drawing a circle through the air. Seamus spoke first, his words earnest and sincere. These words were etched deep into his soul for he had spoken them once before. Sarina’s voice was trembling, soft, and slightly hesitant. They had something of an echo about them at first for she was relying on Seamus to lead her through the vows, but as she began speaking, she was relieved to find that the words came back to her.
“The Mighty Three, my protection be, encircle me.
You are around my life, my love, my home.
Encircle me. O sacred three, the Mighty Three.”
Their voices joined together and created a sweet harmony. Their eyes locked as they spoke and something happened with Sarina’s heart. She began to feel Seamus’ heartbeat and could almost feel the tension that rose within them. It was as though something magical was taking place, as though the vows they spoke were actually an enchantment which was summoning something old and sacred. When they finished, there was a hushed awe from the guests. Sarina didn’t take her eyes off of Seamus though.
“Now, it is time for the siller,” the minister said. Angus came up to Seamus and handed him a pouch. Seamus let go of Sarina’s hand and she found that she missed the warmth immediately. Seamus opened the pouch as Sarina opened her hands. He poured thirteen silver coins into her palms. They cascaded out like a waterfall, clinking against each other. Sarina felt the coins in her palm and then, in turn, handed them back to Seamus. Their fingers brushed against each other and heat rose within her body.
The minister held out a ceremonial plate in which Seamus poured the coins. Sarina was afraid that the aged minister would drop the plate for he appeared so weak, but an assistant took the plate from him almost immediately. “By sharing these arrhae ye hae pledged tae provide for ye wife and share ye wealth. This pledge is made in earnest and binds ye before God,” the minister said.
Sarina and Seamus took each other’s hands again.
The minister moved aside, revealing a bench upon which sat an oval stone. It was smooth and worn. Sarina knew from what Martha had told her that this stone had been sitting here for generations. Hundreds of people had been married by taking oaths on this stone and it was said to be older than the church itself. She and Seamus placed their hands upon the stone, feeling the texture of the surface underneath their hands. The stone was cold, contrasting sharply with the warmth coming from Seamus’ hands. It was like a fire burned inside him and radiated warmth throughout his body. She found herself wondering what it would be like to lay beside him on the cold nights and then immediately chastised herself for such a lustful thought.
“Now, it is time for ye tae speak ye vows,” the minister said. Seamus and Sarina prepared to repeat what the minister was going to say.
“Dae ye promise tae protect ye wife, care for her, defend her, and honor her?”
“I dae,” Seamus replied.
“And dae ye promise tae honor ye husband, tae comfort him, tae cherish him, and tae give him a loving home?”
“I do,” Sarina said. The vow was most solemn and she found herself hoping that she could live up to it.
“Before the heavens and the Earth, before ye family and ye friends, promise yeselves tae each other. Let nothing but death break ye apart,” the minister said.
“I promise myself tae ye, Sarina,” Seamus said.
“I promise myself to you, Seamus.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt a wave of energy sweep through her. Now, she was bound to him. She was a Highlander. With their pledge came the exchanging of gifts. Sarina gave Seamus a piece of cloth, symbolizing that she would provide for the home and Seamus unfolded a cloth from a dagger and gave it to her. Sarina took the weapon in her palms, feeling the cool metal. She swallowed for the dagger reminded her much like the one Thomas had given her, the one she was supposed to kill Seamus with.
This dagger symbolized Seamus’ promise to defend Sarina against all threats and while Sarina listened to him, her heart burned with thoughts of betrayal. While he was using it as a symbol of his loyalty, to her it was a reminder of her duty to her English family and it seemed wrong to have thoughts like this while she was marrying the man. She grew faint and sweat beaded on her forehead.
“Are ye well?” the minister whispered. Seamus looked at her with concern. Sarina nodded and handed the dagger back.
“I am sorry if it reminds ye of how we met,” Seamus said. The fool, Sarina thought, he doesn’t even suspect my real thoughts. If he did, she wondered what would happen to her. Would she be turned out into the wilderness and left to the mercy of bandits and wild animals or would she be thrown into jail, branded a traitor, and never allowed to return home again? She cast her eyes away from Seamus and knew that he deserved better. He’d already had one wife who died and now his second was planning to kill him. With every vow he was taking, he was signing his death warrant and he had absolutely no idea.
The final ritual that had to be completed before they were officially married was to drink from the Quaich. This was a two-handed cup from which they would sip and from which they would drink l
ater at the feast to celebrate becoming man and wife.
“Taking a drink together shows how these two people shall spend their lives together, living as one, facing all the tribulations of life as allies, and sharing each other’s joy. I now present tae ye Laird Seamus and Sarina Mackenzie, long may they rule!” the minister exclaimed, raising his arms as far as they would go.
The guests broke out in rapturous applause and hollers of celebration. The minister announced the first kiss and before Sarina could do anything else, Seamus had gripped her in his arms and planted a kiss on her lips. She was stunned for it was the first time anything like this had happened and it was quite intoxicating. His firm kiss brought with it all manner of sensations along with his taste which was surprisingly sweet. A rush of his hot breath lingered on her lips as he pulled away and she couldn’t quite believe that it was over so quickly.
Angus and Seamus’ parents came up and congratulated them both and then they walked out of the church hand-in-hand, welcoming the celebration. For Sarina though, it was largely a blur. It was as though she was being carried by a current and not moving of her own accord. Her mind wanted to scream for things to slow down, but she was silenced by the forced smile on her lips and she was still reeling from the kiss. It was yet to sink in that Seamus was her husband. She belonged to the Highlanders now. She was one of them and she had made solemn vows promising to be true, to protect Seamus, and live her life with him.
She wondered if that vow trumped the one she had already made to Thomas and her English family. There was darkness in her heart and part of her wanted to stop and scream at Seamus, to tell him that he was making a big mistake, but then she realized that she had no choice. There was no other fate for her. She was his wife now and she had to act accordingly. It was time for the feast and more rituals in which she would have to partake. She wondered if Thomas had even thought about these things when he had asked her to do the unthinkable. She wondered if he understood how difficult it was going to be for her to go through with the plan after living with these people and after she had been accepted by them as one of their own.
When she had been coming to the Highlands, she hadn’t expected to feel this way about them. She thought of them as nothing more than savage barbarians, but she had quickly come to learn that they were just as kind as the English could be with rich traditions and a history all of their own. And when she saw Seamus, she didn’t only see the man who had killed her father, she also saw the man who had rescued her, and the widow who had loved once yet still entered into matrimony for the sake of peace. She saw her husband.
12
With his wife by his side, Seamus strode into the hall where the food was waiting. He walked up to his seat and welcomed everybody in while Sarina sat down. She had been quiet and looked a little dazed which he couldn’t blame her for. He remembered that Ciara had been quite the same on their wedding day. It was filled with intense emotions and they could become quite overwhelming.
For Seamus, it had been a difficult ceremony at first since he had been unable to shake the memories of the first wedding. The vows were the same as when he had spoken them to Ciara, but this time they were lacking the emotion he felt, although he hoped that Sarina couldn’t tell. However, despite this, he found himself wanting to live up to the vows and he hoped that something akin to love could grow between them if given enough time.
His family had been telling him that he needed to get married again, that he couldn’t remain unmarried for the rest of his life as he was still young and had plenty to offer. If it had been of his own choosing, Seamus doubted that he would ever have gotten married again, but perhaps being forced into this was the best way forward. It helped him to get out of the way of his own mind and heart rather than continually dwelling on the past. Already, it felt as though he was beginning to let go and as difficult as it was to admit, it was probably for the best.
There was yet much for him and Sarina to talk about, the kinds of things that were shared only between a husband and his wife in the marriage bed, but they would have to wait until the feast was over. Seamus’ thoughts turned to the wedding night and all it had to offer then he glanced down at Sarina and wondered if she was aware of what was expected of her. He wondered if he was capable of sharing that level of intimacy with anyone but Ciara.
There was much to think about and much to discuss. It would not be easy for either of them. Sarina steadied herself against the table and gripped the edge so tightly that her knuckles went white. Seamus noticed this and wanted to put her at ease.
“What’s on ye mind, Sarina? Ye did well at the wedding. I could nae tell that ye hae only recently been aware of our traditions.”
“Thank you. I don’t want you to think of me as a miser, but I do hope this feast doesn’t last too long. I would like some time alone to process this day. It has been quite tiring,” she said.
“I hate tae break it tae ye lass, but our feasts tend tae gae on long intae the night. Ma told me many years ago that this feast is more for the people tae celebrate. The married couple hae the rest of their lives tae enjoy their marriage, but everyone else only hae this one night. Is is nae the same in England?” he asked.
“There is a feast, but it is rather more subdued, at least it has been in my experience. Perhaps in the poorer parts of the country things are livelier,” she said.
“Well, it will be over before ye know it,” Seamus said.
The two of them began by lighting the unity candle which was used to celebrate the joining of two clans and in this case to celebrate peace between the English. The main candle was thick and long. Drops of wax hung from the shaft. There was a smaller candle beside it which represented Sarina. Both candles had flowers wrapped around them. Seamus felt a little awkward as he lit it for Sarina’s family should have been there and he couldn’t believe that not one representative from her family had joined her on her wedding day.
“Ye are with us now. Ye are part of our family,” Seamus said, hoping that it would make her feel a little better about herself. “I am sorry ye brother could nae stay, but I hope they are happy for ye at lease.”
“I hope so too,” Sarina said forlornly.
The bride and groom took their seats as food was presented to them. It was a grand feast with succulent meat, broth, bread, cheese, and all kinds of fruits and berries displayed on the tables before them. Seamus’ stomach growled and he tucked in with ardor, pulling meat from the bone with his teeth and letting the juices drip down his chin. He swilled ale from mugs and wine was poured from bottles. People were singing and in entirely good spirits. They all enjoyed the feast laid out for them except Sarina who was sitting staring at her food. She nibbled at the meat and picked at the fruit, but she wasn’t eating as a true Highlander would. Seamus knew it was going to take some time for her to adjust to life here, but sometimes when he looked at her, he couldn’t help but see everything that was not Ciara.
“Try and look like ye are having fun, Sarina. Life will nae be sae bad here,” he said and continued with the feast. Sarina smiled at him but did not say anything in reply.
Seamus ate until his belly was full and then he ate some more. Sarina was right about one thing: The day had been long and his appetite was ravenous. He emptied plate after plate and his mouth was filled with the rich taste of meat. The ale rose to his head as well and made his thoughts swim. He crashed his mug down on the table making Sarina jump as he joined in with the chorus of singing, bellowing out at the top of his lungs. He looked at Sarina urging her to join in and when she didn’t, he slammed his mug on the table and grabbed her hands before pulling her to her feet.
At the sight of this, the crowd cheered and all started applauding, meaning that Sarina’s protests became lost in the cacophony. There was a steady rhythm filling the hall and from deep in the hall, the wailing sound of bagpipes pierced the air. Seamus had a huge grin on his face as he whirled Sarina around and began dancing with her, taking her through the tables, their feet light
ly skipping over the floor. It was delirious and the rest of the world was a blur as was Seamus’ mind. The alcohol he’d consumed had dulled his senses and made a haze fall over his thoughts. As he spun with Sarina the rest of the world melted away, but then something strange happened.
The past and present swirled and came together. It was as though he was in both moments at once, dancing with his new wife and his old. As he spun Sarina’s features changed and Ciara was there with him. His heart was inflamed at the sight of his deceased wife and all those old feelings returned. He pulled the woman in front of him close, pressing her head to his chest. She felt as though she belonged there, in his arms, fitting nicely in the warmth of his body.
“Oh, Ciara, this is the happiest day of my life,” he whispered, echoing the same thing he had said to his first wife all those years ago. The day had brought out such intense emotions that it confused his mind and dancing like this had sent him to the past. The thumping crowd was so loud that only Sarina heard his words and as soon as he spoke them, she pulled away from him, a shocked expression on her face.
The effects of the alcohol were instantly neutralized. He sobered up immediately and tried to explain himself, tried to apologize, but Sarina brought her hand to her mouth in shock. Her eyes glistened with tears and then she ran from the hall out into the empty castle.
Seamus was left there with all eyes on him. At first, he felt guilty and then he felt angry at being so embarrassed. His cheeks reddened and he noticed that the bagpipes had stopped playing. He turned around and in a furious outburst, he commanded them all to continue the festivities while he stormed back to his seat and tore into more meat, hoping that filling his belly with food could end the pain he felt inside.
