Epiphany of the Long Sun

by Gene Wolfe

  Chenille said, "This floor's about level now."

  Silk nodded, pointing toward the bubble in a horizontal tube on the instrument panel.

  Auk took the seat nearest him. "If you want me to, I can get somebody else to do this. Even that pilot. I'd have one of ours sit here to watch her."

  "She's blind," Silk told him. He threw a lever on the instrument panel. "Hyacinth blinded her. I saw it."

  "She's just got sore eyes, Patera. She'll be dandy."

  Hyacinth sat on Silk's left. "You like this, don't you?"

  "I love it-and I'm terrified by it at the same time. I'm afraid I'm going to kill us all; but the pilot or another Trivigaunti might do so intentionally, and I certainly won't. But…" His voice trailed away.

  "Even if we had a pilot we could trust, you'd want to."

  He cleared his throat. "We do have a pilot we can trust-me. I'm not very experienced as yet, but there must have been a time when that woman wasn't either."

  Chenille sat down next to Hyacinth. "You poke her glims?"

  Hyacinth nodded. "She was going to shoot us, Chen."

  "No shoot!" Oreb sailed into the cockpit.

  "Right," Hyacinth told him. "That's what I thought, but we had shooting anyway when Auk's culls fought it out with the troopers watching the general."

  "Only Patera's still sort of bothered by what you did to her. I can tell."

  Silk glanced at Chenille. "Am I so transparent as that?"

  "Sure." She grinned. "Listen, Patera. Do you think us dells at Orchid's were always really polite? Do you think we always said please and thank you, and excuse me, Bluebell, but that gown you've got on looks a whole lot like one of mine?"

  "I don't know," Silk admitted. "I would hope so." From his shoulder, Oreb eyed him quizzically.

  "You think I'm rough because I'm big, and you think those dells from Trivigaunte are because they don't wear makeup, and they had needlers and slug guns. I never had to fight a lot at Orchid's because I was the longest dell there. You know where Hyacinth comes on me?"

  "I believe I do, yes."

  "Without those heels she always wears, the top of her head doesn't even hit my shoulder. She's beautiful, too, like you always say. The whole time she lived there, she was the best-looking dell Orchid had, and Orchid would tell you so herself. You know who looks the most like Hy now? It's Poppy, and Poppy looks like Hy about as much as a sham card looks like a lily one. You know how that is? They look the same till you look hard, but when you do you know it's not even close. The gold in the sham one looks brassy, and it feels greasy. You look at Hy, at her eyes and nose. Look at her chin. Just look! The first couple weeks I knew her I couldn't see her chin without feeling like a toad in the road." The huskiness that affects women's voices when they speak of matters of genuine importance entered Chenille's. "Poppy's cute, Patera. Hy's real gold."

  "I know."

  "So just about everybody hated her." Chenille coughed. "I nearly did myself. The second or third day-"

  "Second," Hyacinth interjected.

  "She came to the big room with a mouse under both eyes. Orchid threw a fit. But you know what?"

  Silk shook his head; Hyacinth said, "That's plenty, Chen," and he swiveled his seat to face Chenille. "Please tell me. I promise you that I won't hold it against her, whatever it is."

  "No talk," Oreb croaked.

  "I was going to tell you what happened next, but I'll skip it. She doesn't want me to, and she's probably right. Only she learned fast. She had to, or she'd of been killed. A couple days after that I saw a dell shove her, and Hy tripped her and wrapped her with a chair. A lot of the other dells saw it too, and they left her alone. Are you wanting to ask something?"

  Silk said, "No."

  "I kind of thought you were, that you were about to ask me if Hy and I ever got into it."

  Hyacinth shook her head.

  "If I could've worn her clothes, maybe we would. Or if she could've worn mine. We weren't a knot, either, I'd be lying if I said we were. For one thing, she wasn't there long enough. I didn't like her a whole lot, even, but there were things I liked about her. I told you one time."

  Auk said, "Sitting in that thing they got for the grapes back at your manteion, Patera. I was there."

  Silk nodded. "Yes, I remember. I could tell you what you said, Chenille, almost word for word-not because my memory's remarkable, but because Hyacinth is so important to me."

  He turned away to scan the instrument panel and the cloud-smeared sky, then turned to Auk. "As a favor, would you please bring Sciathan?"

  "Sure." Auk rose. "Only I got to talk to you about those engines, see? I need you to tell me what you did to 'em, and if we're going to lose any more."

  "I'll get him," Hyacinth said, and left the cockpit before Silk could stop her.

  Chenille leaned nearer Silk. "She thinks you ought to be proud of her. I do too."

  He nodded.

  "Only you're not, and it hurts. The first time you saw her she had a azoth, and you had to jump out the window to get away. Isn't that right? Moly told me."

  "It was terrifying," Silk admitted. Although he was not perspiring, he wiped his face with the hem of his robe. "The azoth cut through a stone windowsill. I don't believe I will ever forget it."

  Auk said, "You think she was just some village chit after that, Patera?"

  "No. No, I didn't. I knew exactly what she was."

  He was silent then until Sciathan came into the cockpit and bowed, saying, "Do you desire to speak to me, Caldé Silk?"

  "Yes. Have you flown an airship like this one?"

  "Never. I have flown with my wings many times, but we crew have nothing like this save the Whorl itself, and that is flown by Mainframe, not by us."

  "I understand. Just the same, you know a great deal about updrafts and downdrafts and storms; more than I'll ever learn. I've been flying this airship since a gust dispatched for our benefit by Molpe-or the Outsider, as I prefer to believe-returned us to the air. Now I want to leave the controls for a while. Will you take my place? I'd be extremely grateful."

  The Flier nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes! Thank you, Caldé Silk. Thank you very much!"

  "Then sit here." Silk left his seat, and Sciathan slid into it. "There are no reins, nor is there a wheel one turns, as there is in a floater. One steers with the engines. Do you understand?"

  Sciathan nodded, and Auk cleared his throat.

  "A west wind is carrying us toward Mainframe. We could fly faster, but it may be wise to conserve fuel. These dials give the speeds of all eight engines; as you see, four are no longer operating."

  As quickly as he could, Silk outlined what he had learned of the functions of the levers and knobs on the panel; as soon as the Flier seemed to comprehend, Silk turned to Auk. "You wanted to know what I did to the engines. I did very little. I climbed up there into the cloth-covered body."

  Auk said, "Sure. I knew you must of."

  "Most of the space-it's enormous-is occupied by rows of huge balloons. There are bamboo walkways and wooden beams."

  "I been on some."

  "Yes, of course; you'd have had to in the fighting. What I was going to say is that there are tanks and hoses, too. I'd found a clamp, a simple one such as a carpenter might use."

  Silk paused to glance at the bird on his shoulder. "It was then that Oreb joined me; I'd just picked it up. Anyway I put it on a hose, I suppose a fuel hose, and screwed it closed as tightly as I could. I doubt that it stopped the flow entirely, but it must have reduced it very considerably. It shouldn't be hard to find when you know what to look for."

  Auk rubbed his chin. "Don't sound like it."

  "For my conscience's sake, I should tell you that I lied to Major Hadale-or anyway, I came very close to lying. She asked whether I could repair the engines; and I said, quite honestly I believe, that I could not. One speaks of repairs when a thing is broken. To the best of my knowledge, the engines we've lost aren't; but if they were, I wouldn't have the faintest notion
how they might be repaired-thus I told her truthfully that repairing them was beyond my power. It was not a lie, though I certainly intended it to deceive her. If I'd said I might be able to set them in motion again, she would have had me beaten, I imagine, to compel me to do it."

  Without turning toward them, Sciathan nodded vigorously.

  "I'll ask Patera Incus to shrive me later today. Will you excuse me now? I… I would like very much to be alone."

  As he left the cockpit, Auk told his back, "Get him to tell you how he charmed the slug gun."

  A flimsy door of canvas stretched over a bamboo frame was all that separated the cockpit from a narrow aisle lined with green-curtained cubicles. Hearing a familiar voice, Silk pushed aside the curtain on his right.

  The cubicle seemed overfilled by a bunk, a small table, and a stool; Nettle occupied the stool, holding a needler, and Saba smiled in a way that Silk found painful from the bunk.

  "Poor girl," Oreb muttered.

  Silk traced the sign of addition in the air. "Blessed be you, General Saba, in the Sacred Name of Pas, Father of the Gods, in that of Gracious Echidna, His Consort, in those of their Sons and their Daughters alike, in that of the Overseeing Outsider, and in the names of all other gods whatsoever, this day and forever. So say I, Silk, in the name of their youngest, fairest child, Steely Sphigx, Goddess of Hardihood and Courage, Sabered Sphigx, the glad and glorious patroness of General Saba and General Saba's native city."

  "Gracious of you, Caldé. I thought you'd come to gloat."

  Nettle shook her head. "You don't know him."

  "I came-or at least. I left the cockpit-to escape my friends," Silk told Saba. "I had no more than stepped out when I heard you and looked in. 'When neither our fellows nor our gods spoil our plans, we spoil them ourselves.' I read that when I was a boy, and I've learned since how very true it is."

  Nettle said, "She was telling me about Trivigaunte, Caldé. I don't think I'd want to live there, but I'd like to see it."

  "We go in for towers." Saba smiled. "We say it's because we build such good ones, but maybe we build good ones because we build so many of them. Towers and whitewash, and wide, clean streets. Your city looks," she paused, searching for a telling word, "squatty, like a camp. Squatty and dirty. I know you love it, but that's how it looks to us."

  Silk nodded. "I understand. The interiors of our houses are clean, I believe, for the most part; but our streets are filthy, as you say. I was trying to do something about it, and a great many other things, when I was arrested."

  "Not by me," Saba told him. "I didn't order it."

  "I never thought you did."

  "But you were talking to the enemy without telling us. If-" Saba's voice broke, and Oreb croaked in sympathy.

  "We each have our sorrows." Silk let the green curtain fall behind him. "I won't ask you to palliate mine, but I may be able to ease yours. I'll try. What were you about to say?"

  "I started to say I'd put in a word for you back home, that's all. Because we'll get you again when we get back this airship. If Siyuf's not running your city yet, she soon will be." Saba chuckled wryly. "Then I remembered where I stand. I'd forgotten, talking to this girl. I'm the general who went crazy and turned the airship east when it ought to have been headed home. That's what Hadale told them at the Palace, that I'd gone crazy. They'll think it was treachery and she was covering for me."

  "You weren't insane," Silk told her. "You were possessed by Mucor, at my urging. You were possessed in the same way at my dinner. Others must have told you about it-Major Hadale, particularly, since she is your subordinate."

  "I didn't want to hear it. Is Hadale your prisoner too?"

  Silk shook his head. "She left the airship with most of your pterotroopers to capture a caravan. That let Auk and Gib and their friends overcome the rest."

  Nettle held up her needler. "We fought too, Horn and me both. We'd fought hoppies already for General Mint, but a lot of Auk's people had never fought before. Hardly any of the women." To Saba she added, "Your pterotroopers were good, but our hoppies were better. You couldn't panic them."

  "I'm sure you acquited yourself creditably," Silk told her. "I, unfortunately, did not. Hyacinth knocked a needler from the pilot's hand and subdued her. I picked it up and held it, feeling an utter fool. I couldn't fire for fear of hitting Hyacinth, and with the needler in my hand I couldn't think of anything else to do. Then someone back here started shooting. Slugs came into the cockpit, and it was only by the favor of a god that all three of us weren't killed."

  Silk paused, reflecting. "Have I thanked you, General, for your obvious goodwill? I should, and I do. I'll see to it that you're not mistreated, of course."

  Saba shrugged. "That man Auk said I could stay in here, which was nice of him. Those were my jailers that almost shot you. I like this girl better."

  She fell silent, and Silk found himself listening to the hum of the engines.

  "My pterotroopers fought alongside Mint's when we were the only Trivigauntis in Viron, Caldé. We fought beside your Guard to get you out of that place outside the city, too. If I said I was planning to put in a good word for you already when we left Viron, would you believe it?"

  "Of course."

  "I wasn't, but I should have been. I was thinking about covering my own arse, as if that mattered."

  "Don't torment yourself, General, I beg you." Silk pushed back the curtain that served the cubicle as a door. "In the second gondola there was a hatch toward the rear that opened onto the roof. Is there a similar hatch here?"

  "Sure. I'll show you, if it's all right with her."

  "That won't be necessary." Silk stepped back and let the curtain fall.

  A rope ladder rolled and tied at the ceiling marked the hatch. Pulling a cord released the ladder. The light wooden hatch was held shut by a simple peg-and-cord retainer. Silk removed the peg, threw back the hatch, and climbed out onto the open, empty deck.

  With a glad cry Oreb left his shoulder, racing the length of the gondola, shooting ahead of the airship until he was nearly lost to Silk's myopic vision, wheeling and soaring.

  More circumspectly, Silk followed until he stood at the gondola's semicircular prow, the toes of the scuffed old shoes he had never found time to replace hanging over the aching void. He looked down at them, seeing them as if he had never seen them before, noting as items new and strange small cracks in their leather, and the ways in which the shoes had shaped themselves to his feet. Beside his left shoe there was a brass socket set into the deck. Presumably a flagpole would be put in it when the airship took part in military ceremonies in Trivigaunte.

  Even more probably, similar sockets ringed the entire deck. Light poles would support railings of rope, used perhaps when dignitaries stood where he was standing now, bemedaled women in gorgeous uniforms waving to the populace below. It was even possible that the Rani herself had stood upon this very spot.

  He recalled then that he had wished for flags to be raised on this airship to signal the approach of Siyuf's horde. The signalmen (who would more plausibly have been signalwomen) would have kept watch from here with telescopes, would have run their flags up one of the immense cables from which the gondola hung. Below them-

  Some minute motion of the gondola, some response to a tiny variation in the wind, nearly caused him to lose his balance; he came very close to putting his right foot forward to regain it, and would have fallen if he had, ending the persistent pain in its ankle.

  It would not have been such a bad thing, perhaps, to have fallen. If one did not dread death, it would be an experience of unparalleled interest; to fall from such a height as this, a height greater than that of the loftiest mountain, would provide ample time for observation, prayer, and reflection, surely.

  Eventually his body would strike the ground, probably in some unpeopled spot. His spirit would return to the Aureate Path, where once he had encountered his mothers and fathers; his bones would not be found-if they were found at all-until Nettle's childr
en were grown. To the living he would not die but disappear, a source of wonder rather than sorrow. All men died, and all died very quickly in the eyes of the Outsider. Few died so well as that.

  He peered upward to study the Aureate Path as it stretched before the airship's blunt nose, and again felt himself-very slightly-lose balance. If his parents waited there for him, they were not to be seen by the eyes of life.

  One father had been Chenille's father as well. He, Silk, who had possessed no family save his mother, had gained a sister now. Although neither Chenille nor Hyacinth nor any other woman could take his mother's place. No one could.

  Recalling the unmarked razor he had puzzled over so often, he fingered his stubbled cheeks. He had not shaved in well over a day; no doubt his beard was apparent to everyone. It was better, though, to know to whom the razor had belonged.

  He looked down at his shoes again. Beneath them, Sciathan sat at the controls, steering a structure a hundred times larger than the Grand Manteion with the touch of a finger. There was no Sacred Window on the airship-that would have been almost impossible-but there was a glass somewhere. Idly Silk found himself wondering where it was. Not in the cockpit, certainly, nor in Saba's cubicle. Yet it would almost have to be in this gondola, in which the Rani's officers ate and slept, and from which they steered her airship. Perhaps in the chartroom; he had climbed to this deck from that chartroom without seeing it-but then he had been occupied with his thoughts.

  Too much so to do anything to relieve Saba's depression. Yes, too self-centered for that. Saba and her pterotroopers might be outnumbered at present, but-

  Hands upon his shoulders. "Don't jump, Caldé!"

  He took a cautious step backward. "I hadn't intended to," he said, and wondered whether he lied.

  He turned. Horn's pale face showed very clearly what Horn thought. "I'm sorry I frightened you," Silk told him, "I didn't know you were there."