No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  “Find your gear and let’s go,” he said, nodding toward the three enormous piles of duffel bags sitting on the tarmac.

  Kate glanced at his face to see if he was joking. With his sunglasses shielding his eyes, she couldn’t decipher his expression, but it seemed he had no intention of helping her. Glancing at the daunting piles, she drew in a deep breath.

  “Here, hold this,” she said, and pushed her shoulder bag into his hands. She sensed his surprise, but he made no objection, tucking the bag under his arm as he watched her.

  Kate had packed her belongings in a neon-pink duffel bag that had once belonged to Tenley, thinking it would be easy to spot. But she’d been wrong. Circling each of the piles, she couldn’t see any sign of pink peeking through the dozens of army-green duffel bags, which meant her own was probably buried somewhere near the bottom. She prepared to grab the handles of the nearest duffel when a masculine voice interrupted her.

  “Ma’am, are you looking for a particular bag?”

  Turning, she saw two young soldiers walking toward her. Just moments earlier, they had been lounging against their own piles of gear, chatting idly.

  Kate nodded. “Yes. I have a bright pink duffel bag, but I can’t see it anywhere.”

  The second soldier, who looked to be no older than Tenley, grinned. “No problem, ma’am, we can find it for you.” Turning, he whistled through his teeth to a group of soldiers gathered near the entrance to the hangar and motioned them over. “Hey, guys, give us a hand over here!”

  Within minutes, there were a dozen young men enthusiastically digging their way through the piles of luggage, calling out names as they identified a tag or lettering painted on the outside of the bag. Kate stepped back to watch, amazed by their enthusiasm and efficiency. In less than five minutes, the first soldier held Kate’s bag up in triumph.

  “Is this it?” he asked.

  Kate came forward and took the duffel from him. “That’s the one,” she said with a grateful smile. “Thank you so much!”

  “My pleasure, ma’am.”

  Clutching the heavy bag, Kate turned back to Major Rawlins, who stood to one side with his arms crossed over his impressive chest, her tote dangling from one hand. She wasn’t certain, but Kate thought she detected amusement on his face.

  “Well, that wasn’t so bad,” she remarked cheerfully.

  He raised an eyebrow and gave a noncommittal grunt. “Here, let’s trade,” he said, handing her the shoulder bag and taking the pink duffel from her. “I have a vehicle waiting out front.”

  Kate watched as he walked back toward the hangar, a tough-as-nails warrior carrying a pink duffel bag in his hand. She wanted to laugh at the incongruous sight, but seeing that none of the surrounding soldiers so much as cracked a smile in his direction, she suppressed her own amusement. Drawing herself up, she followed him once more. She was getting tired of seeing nothing but this man’s backside, no matter how delectable it might be. And she had to admit, he did have a fine ass. Frowning at her thoughts, she hefted her tote bag over her shoulder and followed him.

  “Major Rawlins, I’d like to get started right away,” she said, trying to match his long strides. “I understand that with the sheer number of entertainers who are coming over, the USO ran out of room to accommodate my client and her band. I’d like to see where Tenley will stay while she’s here. And do you know who will accompany me to the other bases?”

  He did stop then, so abruptly that Kate nearly plowed into him. Slowly, he removed his sunglasses and turned to face her. His gaze drifted over her and that muscle worked in his lean cheek. Kate felt herself go hot beneath his regard, and she wondered what was going through his head.

  “Just so that we’re clear,” he said carefully, “I am your single point of contact for whatever you require while you are here. We will travel together, eat together, view the venues together and basically be attached at the hip until you depart. This is a combat environment, Miss Fitzgerald, and I’m responsible for your well-being. You don’t do anything without me, or without my permission. Understood?”

  Kate stared at him, and for the first time since she’d made the decision to come to Afghanistan, realized the personal impact. The knowledge that she would spend the next three days in this man’s exclusive company caused a shiver to go through her, but whether it was one of dread or anticipation, she couldn’t tell.

  Major Rawlins was unlike any man she’d ever met before. He was testosterone personified, and the way he looked at her made her go a little boneless. For the first time she could recall, she wasn’t the one in control, the one calling the shots. That fact should have annoyed her. Instead, she found herself agreeing wholeheartedly to his conditions.

  “Yes.” She nodded. “I understand.”

  She thought he would turn and walk away again, but he stood watching for a moment longer, as if there was something about her that puzzled him. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of green, reminding her of the clear, warm waters of the Caribbean.

  “I’m curious. Why are you here, Miss Fitzgerald?”

  She frowned, taken aback by the question. “I beg your pardon? It’s my job to ensure everything is ready for my client’s visit.”

  “But why are you here? In Afghanistan? Why not some military base on American soil? Why come all the way over here when your client wasn’t originally scheduled to perform as part of the Independence Day concert?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “No offense, but Tenley Miles is little more than a child, and you—” He broke abruptly off.

  “What?” Kate asked. “I’m what?”

  He gave a soft laugh. “Well, I just can’t figure out why a woman like you would come over here, unaccompanied.”

  Kate hesitated. She had to assume that he knew the truth; that he’d seen the news reports and was aware that Tenley had directed her vitriol toward the military’s policy of sending troops to Iraq and Afghanistan. She couldn’t blame him for his attitude, but neither could she explain to him the reasons behind Tenley’s meltdown. Her sister’s precipitous marriage and subsequent annulment had to remain a secret.

  She hesitated, wondering how direct she could be without giving him too much information. “Tenley has been going through a difficult time,” she began cautiously. “She said some things about the military that were pretty horrible and, well…” She gave a soft laugh. “Let’s just say that I’m hoping this tour will be a humbling experience for her.”

  “Oh, I’m certain it will be,” he said, and one corner of his mouth lifted in a ghost of a smile. He glanced at his watch. “We should get going.”

  Outside, the unrelenting heat, combined with the weight of her overloaded tote bag, quickly sapped her strength. She felt tired and achy and unprepared for whatever lay ahead. A military Humvee waited by the curb, and Kate watched as Major Rawlins put her gear in the back.

  “Thank you,” she murmured as he held the door open for her. Climbing into the vehicle, she saw there was already another soldier behind the wheel. She expected Major Rawlins to get in the front passenger seat, and was unprepared when he slid in beside her, instead.

  Sensing her surprise, he gave her a wry smile. “Attached at the hip, remember?”

  Kate found herself staring at him. That small smile was enough to transform his features. How would he look if that smile were to expand to his eyes? She had a feeling that he might be irresistible.

  “Where to, sir?” asked the driver.

  “Take us to my housing unit.”

  “Yes sir.” The driver grinned. “I know one female who is going to be very excited to see you again.”

  Kate slanted Major Rawlins a questioning look, but if he felt her silent query, he ignored it. She felt a tug of curiosity. What would it be like to be romantically involved with this man? To have his whole and undivided attention? To see his eyes go hot with desire? The thought sent a small shiver through her, further proof that she’d been way too long without sex. Men didn’t usually have this effect on her, bu
t having gone more than a year without intimacy of any kind, she suspected her hormones were on full alert and ready to revolt if she didn’t do something soon to appease them. But this wasn’t quite what she had in mind.

  “Why are we going to your housing unit?” she asked. “Don’t you think you’re taking this attached-at-the-hip thing a little too seriously? I am not staying in your unit with you.”

  She watched, entranced, as a smile spread across his face. She’d been wrong. He wasn’t just irresistible, he was downright devastating. His smile caused something to loosen inside her, and she found she couldn’t look away.

  “Miss Fitzgerald,” he drawled, letting his gaze drift deliberately over her, “as attractive as you might be, I have no intention of sleeping with you.”

  3

  CHASE REGRETTED THE WORDS the instant they left his mouth. Their driver gave a snort of laughter which he quickly hid behind a sudden coughing fit after Chase sent him a quelling look. But it was the stricken expression on Kate Fitzgerald’s face that made him wish he’d kept his mouth shut. That, and the fact that a part of him recognized that given a different set of circumstances, she was the kind of woman he’d give his left nut to sleep with.

  He wished like hell that she wasn’t so damned pretty. The instant he’d spotted her standing in the long line of uniformed soldiers, he’d felt as if someone had kicked him in the solar plexus.

  He’d been in Afghanistan for six months, and he’d spent most of that time in the stark, forbidding mountains of the Kala Gush region, living and sleeping outside and enduring the harshest of conditions. Seeing Kate Fitzgerald had been an unexpected and potent reminder of everything he’d left behind, and for just an instant, his heart had ached with longing.

  He’d had a tough time catching his breath and had to mentally shake himself in order to stop staring at her. She stuck out like an exotic bloom among a bed of weeds in her jewel-colored shirt, and the bright sun picked out the deep red lights in her silky dark hair. Without the heavy cardigan she’d worn in the photo, he could see she definitely had curves. Nice curves. Curves that begged to be touched. And he wasn’t the only one who had noticed. Every guy within fifty yards had been eyeballing her and he couldn’t blame them. She looked good enough to eat.

  Then she’d turned and looked at him.

  He’d expected her to have blue or even green eyes, but hers were coffee-brown fringed with dark lashes. As he’d drawn closer, he saw the splattering of freckles across her face, as if someone had flung flecks of gold paint at her. And her mouth…Christ, he found himself conjuring up decadent images of just what she could do with that mouth. Her lips were pillowy plump and pink and had opened on a soft “oh” of surprise when he’d called her name. She’d looked achingly feminine and completely out of place among the soldiers who surrounded her.

  Now, as he saw her reaction to his words, he felt like a complete dick. He’d hurt her feelings. Her mouth opened, and for a moment she looked at him, appalled, before she snapped her jaw shut. Chase watched as a slow flush crept up her neck.

  Why had he said that he had no intention of sleeping with her? Had it been to remind himself that she was off-limits? Or to ensure she disliked him enough that she’d want nothing to do with him? Because he knew that if she gave any indication that she found him attractive, he’d be toast. Everything about her appealed to him. He’d almost forgotten how good a woman could smell, or how smooth her skin could be. Looking at Kate, he wondered how her skin would feel under his fingertips. She had turned her face toward the window and the sunlight picked out the golden freckles on her cheeks and forehead. He wanted to trace them with a fingertip.

  “Look,” he finally said, “I’m sorry. That was a poor attempt at humor. I mean, obviously I have no intention of sleeping with you—” He broke off at her expression of disbelief, as if she was amazed he was still talking. Lord, he was making a mess of it. Biting back a curse, he scrubbed a hand across his face and turned to the driver. “Step on it, Cochran.”

  “Just so that we’re clear, Major Rawlins,” Kate said in a low voice as she sat stiffly beside him, “I’m here strictly to represent my client and ensure that everything is in order for her visit.”

  Chase nodded, feeling like an idiot. “I understand, Miss Fitzgerald.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And please stop calling me that. My name is Kate.”

  He nodded. He could have told her his first name, but that would have encouraged a familiarity he wasn’t sure he was willing to move toward. This woman lived in a world so far removed from his that it might as well be in a different galaxy. She was the personal assistant to a superstar, and even if that star was on the verge of imploding, this woman—Kate—was accustomed to a world of bright lights and privilege, where her associations ensured a luxurious and pampered lifestyle. He, on the other hand, spent weeks at a time crawling through the desert and mountains, without so much as a change of clothing or a shave, in the company of men whose specialties were the stuff of nightmares. What could they possibly have in common?

  The Humvee drew to a stop in front of a row of containerized housing units, or CHUs, which were nothing more than metal shipping containers outfitted for habitation. Since arriving at Bagram, Chase had barely had time to meet with Colonel Decker and then drop his gear off at the command headquarters before he’d had to meet Kate’s flight. He was in desperate need of a shower and a clean uniform.

  “Wait here,” he said brusquely. “I just need to grab a few things.”

  Inside the housing unit, the furnishings were Spartan. A small office took up the front part of the unit, with a desk, a chair and his computer equipment. The back part was where he slept on a narrow bed, with only a small wardrobe and a bedside table for furnishings. He didn’t even have a private latrine, but instead showered in the communal bathrooms with the rest of the troops. Since there were no other empty CHUs near his own, he’d had to improvise in finding Miss Fitzgerald a place to sleep where he could be nearby in case she needed anything. She wasn’t going to like the arrangements.

  Grabbing a clean uniform and underclothes from a shelf, he shoved them into a backpack, intending to snatch a quick shower at the first opportunity. As he straightened, he caught sight of himself in the small mirror over the dresser and nearly groaned aloud. His beard was longer than he normally allowed it to grow, and his skin was burnt to a mahogany hue. He’d lost some weight while he’d been on assignment and his face was leaner and harder than usual. He looked every inch a mercenary, and it was a wonder to him that Kate Fitzgerald felt comfortable enough to follow him anywhere.

  Returning to the Humvee, he saw she was holding a cell phone out the window, fruitlessly searching for a signal. Throwing his backpack alongside her duffel bag, he opened the door and prepared to climb in beside her.

  “Give it up,” he advised drily. “There’s no service over here.”

  Drawing her arm back into the vehicle, she turned to him in dismay. “But how am I supposed to communicate with my people? With Tenley?”

  Before he could answer, two soldiers rounded the corner. One of them, Sergeant Mike Donahue, called out to Chase.

  “Hey, welcome back.” He shook Chase’s hand. “Tough break about the stand-down order. Have you been over to see Charity yet?”

  Chase glanced at Kate, seeing the open curiosity in her eyes. “Uh, no. We just got back a few hours ago and I haven’t had time. But as soon as I finish up here, I’ll go see her. How is she?”

  Donahue shrugged. “She hasn’t been the same since you left. She just mopes around waiting for you to come back. Man, she is going to flip when she sees you.”

  “Uh-huh. Well, thanks for keeping an eye on her. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

  “You bet.”

  Chase climbed in beside Kate, but didn’t offer an explanation. He could see the speculation in her eyes and knew she thought he had a girlfriend. How would she react if he told her that Charity was a homeless dog he’d rescue
d from the streets? He and his men had been performing a house-to-house search in a small village when they’d come across a group of boys abusing the dog. Chase had intervened, but he knew that as soon as he and his men left, the boys would continue to torture the poor animal. She’d looked at him with such soulful eyes that he hadn’t had the heart to leave her. That had been six months ago, and she’d been with him ever since. The K-9 unit kept an eye on her when he was gone and had been teaching her how to track, which she picked up quickly.

  He turned toward Kate, who was still trying to find a signal on her cell phone. “Look, I have a satellite phone in my housing unit. You’re welcome to use that.”

  “That’s fine for right now, but what about when we leave here and go to the next base?”

  Amusement curved his mouth. “You think we have no way to communicate with the States? I promise you that ‘your people’ are only a phone call away, and a phone will be made available to you whenever you wish.”

  She continued to look at him, expectation written all over her face. Chase gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. C’mon, you can make your call now.”

  Climbing out of the Humvee, he opened the door to his CHU and indicated she should precede him inside. As he dialed the code for outgoing calls, he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was staring with interest and undisguised dismay at his tiny rooms, even going so far as to peek into the bedroom at the rear. In the close quarters of the CHU, he could actually smell her fragrance, and his mind was immediately swamped with images of her spread across his narrow bed.

  “Here,” he said, holding out the receiver for her. “You can make your call.”

  She turned away from his bedroom and accepted the phone. He stood by her shoulder as she dialed the number, so close that he could see the tiny throb of her pulse along the side of her neck, and he had an almost overwhelming urge to bend his head and drag his mouth over the smooth skin.