No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  “MREs?” she asked, taking a mouthful of potatoes. “What is that?”

  “Meals Ready to Eat, although some of the troops like to call them Meals Rejected by Everybody, or Meals Rarely Edible. They’re prepackaged meals in a pouch, designed to provide the soldier with all the basic caloric and nutritional requirements for one day. They’re basically field rations.”

  “Not so appetizing?”

  Chase shrugged as he dug into a plate heaped with baked ziti. “They do the job. I don’t pay much attention to what I eat when I’m in the field.”

  Kate could well believe that. He struck her as the kind of man capable of intense focus. If he was on a mission, one hundred percent of his attention would be on his work, not on food. She could easily envision him skipping meals simply because he was too busy to eat. But right now, he made short work of his dinner, devouring it with gusto.

  “So what is it that you do, exactly?” she asked.

  He glanced up, and quickly wiped his mouth with a napkin. “The usual.”

  Kate gave him a half smile. “Which is…what, exactly? You said you’ve been in the field for the past two weeks. What do you do when you’re ‘in the field’?”

  Chase shrugged and took a long swallow of water, nearly draining the bottle. “A lot of nothing, actually.” He gave her a quick smile. “At least, nothing very exciting.”

  He wasn’t going to give her any information, she realized, studying his bland expression.

  “Is it normal for soldiers to grow beards? I thought there was some strict protocol about being clean-shaven.”

  He smoothed his hand over his jaw, and Kate found herself wondering how his beard would feel against her skin. Would it be soft or bristly? If he nuzzled her neck, would he leave a rash? Disconcerted by the direction of her thoughts, she fixed her attention on her food, pushing it around the plate.

  “Well, there wasn’t much opportunity for a close shave while I was out there,” he said offhandedly. “I got back to base just before you arrived, so not much chance to clean up, either. Sorry.”

  “So how did you end up becoming my escort?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. “I don’t know much about the military, but if I had to guess I’d say you were special forces. They’re the only ones who get to grow facial hair, right? So why would they assign someone like you to bring me to the different concert sites? I promise you I’m not dangerous.”

  Chase stopped eating the second she suggested he was special forces, and listened to her with a combination of amusement and surprise. But when she said she wasn’t dangerous, he gave a soft laugh and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “you have no idea.”

  Now he sat back in his chair and considered her. “Okay,” he said, a smile still tilting his lips. “You’re right. I’m an Army Ranger, part of a special-operations unit. But my team screwed up on a recent operation and so here I am—” he gestured expansively with his hands “—anxious to prove to my commanding officer that I can complete this assignment without incident.”

  “Ah,” she said, meaningfully. “So this is sort of like a punishment for you.” Leaning forward, she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

  “Uh-huh.” His voice said he didn’t believe her, but he couldn’t hide the dimples that dented his cheeks, evidence of his amusement. “If I can’t handle one woman, then I have no business being an Army Ranger.”

  Kate laughed in astonishment. “Oh, wow. Be careful what you say. That just sounded like a challenge.”

  Chase grinned. “Going to give me a run for my money?”

  “I just might.” Kate let her gaze drift over him. She watched his hands as he toyed with the saltshaker. They were a lot like him, lean and strong. She wondered how they would feel on her body. “I’d be doing you a favor. After all, I wouldn’t want you to get soft, considering your current assignment is so easy.”

  He snapped his eyes to hers. “Trust me,” he said drily. “There’s no chance of that happening around you.” Before she could register what he’d said, he stood up. “Are you going to finish your meal?”

  Kate pushed the plate away. “No, I don’t think so. I’m actually not that hungry. What I’d really like is to head over to where the first concert event will be held.”

  Chase nodded and began stacking their plates on his tray. “No problem.”

  She watched as he disposed of their dishes, her heart still thumping unevenly. Had he meant his words the way she had interpreted them? That she aroused him physically? The very thought sent hot blood surging through her veins. She wondered what had happened to get him pulled off his last assignment. He had made light of it, but Kate could see it bothered him. She didn’t know him at all, but guessed he would much rather be back in the field with his men than here with her. Especially if he found himself attracted to her. She didn’t know him well, but guessed that he was the kind of guy who would keep his professional and private lives completely separate. And right now, she was definitely part of his professional life.

  When he returned to the table, she drew in a deep breath. “Listen, Chase, if you’d rather not take me over to the concert site, I’m sure I can get someone else to go with me. I understand that this probably isn’t your favorite thing to do.”

  “No chance,” he said smoothly. “You’ve been assigned to me, and I’ll be the only one to take you over there.”

  She’d been assigned to him. As if she were nothing more than a number, or an unpleasant project that he just needed to get done. Realistically, she knew that wasn’t true, but in that instant she realized she wanted him to see her as more than a task or an assignment. She wanted him to see her as a woman.

  “Okay.” She stood up and pushed her chair in. “Then let’s do this.”

  Outside, the sun had finally dipped behind the mountains and the base was quickly growing dark. Kate welcomed the change, both because the temperature had dropped and because the indistinct light made it more difficult for Major Rawlins to read her expression. They walked in silence, and she didn’t miss how he adjusted his stride so that she could keep up with him. She was fading quickly from sheer exhaustion. Part of her wanted to suggest that they wait until morning to view the concert site, but the stubborn part of her—the part that wanted to impress this tough man—refused to capitulate.

  Thankfully, the parade field wasn’t far from the dining facility. A large stage had been constructed at one end of the field, and an enormous American flag had been hung behind it as a patriotic backdrop. Dozens of heavy-duty extension cords snaked across the ground near the stage, and two tall light poles provided illumination.

  “This is where the bands will perform,” Chase said, kicking several of the cords out of her way. “Of course, it will look much different once all the equipment is set up.”

  Kate walked around the stage, silently acknowledging that it would more than suffice for Tenley’s band. She had brought her planner with her, and she jotted down notes as they surveyed the site.

  “How far back will the audience be from the performers?” She measured off several paces from the front of the stage. “I don’t want them too close, and I’m going to insist on security personnel to keep the crowds back.”

  Chase laughed softly and scratched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what kind of audiences your client performs for, but this isn’t a Texas roadhouse. This is the U.S. military, and they will be respectful.”

  Kate frowned, wanting to believe him, but recalling at least one instance when Tenley had been accosted by a fan who had breached the security and climbed onto the stage.

  “Look at me,” Chase said, and put his hands on her shoulders, dipping his head to stare directly into her eyes. “I will keep Tenley Miles safe, okay? You can trust me.”

  Kate searched his eyes and realized that she did trust him. He was bigger than life, a guy who obviously took his job seriously. Knowing that she
could rely on him was an amazing feeling. She’d always had to be the strong one; the person who made all the decisions and ensured everything went smoothly. That this man was willing to take that burden from her meant more to her than she could express.

  “Thank you,” she said. “Tenley has already had one bad experience with a fan.”

  “You have my word that nothing like that will happen here,” he said firmly. “But I’ll arrange to have military police positioned around the stage and throughout the audience.”

  “Thank you. May I see the administrative building where the performers will stay?”

  Chase preceded her through the large building directly behind the stage. Immediately inside the doors was a spacious auditorium where the band members could relax while waiting to perform.

  “I’m not familiar with the exact details,” Chase said as they walked through the room, “but I understand the USO will set up food and drink stations for the performers, and they’ll have access to pretty much whatever they need.”

  The space was more than generous, and Kate could easily envision Tenley relaxing here as she prepared to perform. Even with other entertainers using the room, there was little likelihood that Tenley would feel crowded. Kate nodded her approval and took some more notes. Once she left here, it would be easy to get the sites confused, and she wanted to go over everything in advance with Tenley, so that her sister would know what to expect.

  Leaving the auditorium, Chase led her down a main corridor and showed her several rooms that were in the process of being converted to bunk rooms for the entertainers. Try as she might, Kate couldn’t find anything to criticize. Granted, the accommodations weren’t luxurious, but they were adequate for Tenley’s needs, especially considering they were on a military base in Afghanistan.

  After snapping the lights off in the last room and closing the door, Kate fell into step beside Chase as they made their way back through the building to the parade field.

  “Well, it certainly appears that the USO has thought of everything,” Kate remarked as they stepped outside. “Will I have an opportunity to meet with the USO coordinators tomorrow? Tenley has some, um, unique requirements that I’d like to address with them.”

  Chase cast her one swift, questioning look. “Like what?”

  “Well, she’s deathly afraid of buses, so I want to be sure that she won’t have to travel in one, not even from the flight line to where she’ll be staying.”

  “Okay,” he said quietly. “Can I ask why?”

  “Her parents were killed in a bus crash when she was just six years old. Tenley was trapped in the wreckage with them for several hours before rescue crews could free her.”

  “Jesus,” he breathed. “Poor kid.”

  Kate gave him a grateful look. “She claims not to remember anything about the crash, but some nights she has terrible nightmares.”

  Chase nodded. “The USO would normally transport all the entertainers in a troop bus, but I can arrange for a private vehicle to pick her up at the terminal. Anything else?”

  “Just that I need to stay with her, in her sleeping quarters.”

  “Because of the nightmares?”

  Kate nodded. “Something like that.”

  “Shouldn’t be a problem.”

  Kate glanced at him, surprised at how easily he accepted Tenley’s needs and agreed to accommodate them. In another place and time, Chase Rawlins was exactly the kind of man that she would have given anything to be with, even for just one night.

  They walked in silence toward the tent where Kate would sleep, but she could almost hear the gears turning in his head.

  “You’ve been great,” she finally said, breaking the silence. “About everything. And I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I had a lot of anxiety, not knowing what to expect, but so far you’ve managed to alleviate all my fears.”

  They reached her tent and he turned to face her. “I hope so,” he said quietly. “I don’t want you to be afraid of anything while you’re here. That’s why you have me.”

  His words caused her imagination to surge, and suddenly she wanted to know what it would be like to have him—to really have him. For one night, or for as many nights as she might be here. But she also knew she lacked the courage required to make any kind of move on him. He didn’t wear a wedding band, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t already committed to someone else. So she just nodded, acknowledging the small promise he was able to give her.

  “I do have a question, though,” he said, watching her closely. “I’m pretty good at reading people, and there’s something I just can’t figure out.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t know anything about Tenley Miles, but I do know that your devotion to her seems to go beyond that of other entertainers and their publicists.” He paused. “Am I wrong?”

  Few people knew that Kate and Tenley were even related, never mind sisters. They didn’t share the same last name, nor did they look at all alike, so no one made the connection and it wasn’t something they publicized. Kate had no problem with anyone knowing about their relationship, but much of Tenley’s popularity stemmed from the fact that she was the orphaned child of two famous entertainers. The fact that she’d been left alone in the world yet still managed to overcome her personal tragedy to fulfill her musical destiny was like a fairytale. If people knew that she’d actually had an adult sister who had dropped everything in order to be at her side and raise her, that fairytale would lose some of its luster. So when Tenley had first shown signs of being musically gifted, Kate had decided to present herself as Tenley’s publicist, rather than her sister.

  “No,” she said, looking at Chase. “You’re not wrong. Tenley is my sister. Well, my half sister, actually. If I’m a little overprotective, it’s because she’s been through so much.”

  His face registered his surprise, but he quickly schooled his features. “That makes sense. So did you also lose a parent in that bus crash?”

  Kate nodded. “My mother. But I was eighteen at that point, and accustomed to being on my own. Her death hit Tenley a lot harder.”

  Chase looked at her for a long moment, and Kate wondered what he was thinking. Finally, he stepped back.

  “Well, she’s lucky to have you,” he said. “You look beat, so I’m going to let you turn in.”

  “Okay,” she said, nodding. “Thanks again. For everything.” Kate turned toward the tent and then looked back at him. “So I’ll see you in the morning?”

  “If not sooner,” he said, and closed one eye in a conspiratorial wink.

  Kate knew her mouth opened, but before she could ask what he meant, he turned and walked away. Slowly, she entered the tent and got ready for bed. His words echoed in her head, and she knew she’d never sleep.

  5

  KATE WAS AWAKENED BY someone shaking her shoulder. She tried to bury herself deeper in her covers, but there was no escaping.

  “Time to wake up, Kate.”

  The masculine voice shocked her into action and she sat up, heart pounding. Disoriented, Kate blinked at the hard-eyed soldier who stood over her, holding a flashlight directed at the ground. The indirect light was sufficient for her to make out Chase Rawlins’s features. For a moment, she had no idea where she was, or why she was sleeping in a tent. Then everything came rushing back, and her gaze snapped to the entrance.

  “What time is it?”

  “Oh-dot-dark.” His low voice was laced with amusement.

  Kate could see it was still pitch black outside. “Why are you here?”

  “Didn’t you promise to call your sister?”

  Kate stared up at Chase, bewildered. Looking around her, she could just make out the shapeless lumps of the other women asleep on their cots. “Yes,” she whispered fiercely. “At six o’clock, not the middle of the night.”

  “I’m sorry to tell you that on the East Coast of the United States, it’s almost six o’clock in the evening. They’re eight and a half hours behind us. If
you still want to make that call, you’d better hustle.”

  With a groan, Kate realized she hadn’t considered the extreme time difference. She was half tempted to change her mind about calling Tenley, but in her mind’s eye she saw her sister waiting to hear from her. If she didn’t place the call, Tenley would be frantic. She’d think the worst and put herself through hell. Kate couldn’t do that to her.

  She scrubbed her hands over her face. “Okay, fine. Give me ten minutes.”

  “You’ve got five. I’ll wait for you outside.”

  She watched the bobbing light of his flashlight as he crossed the tent and disappeared through the flap, and decided she would need to speak to someone about tightening up the security on the sleeping quarters.

  Pushing back the sleeping bag, she swung her legs to the floor, shivering in the predawn chill. Her eyes felt gritty and every muscle in her body ached with exhaustion. Fumbling on the floor beneath her cot, she found her shoes and pulled them on, not bothering to change into street clothes. Her flannel lounge pants and long-sleeve top were adequate, and would enable her to jump right back into bed after she’d talked with Tenley.

  Despite her exhaustion, she’d been right about not being able to fall asleep after Chase had left her. Her biggest surprise had come when she’d unzipped her duffel bag and discovered a jar of licorice inside. It was the same jar from Chase’s housing unit, and she realized he must have stashed it in her bag after she’d made that first failed telephone call to Tenley. She found the gesture oddly touching.

  She’d lain awake thinking about him. Now she understood what he’d meant when he’d said he would see her sooner than the morning, but at the time her imagination had conjured up all kinds of erotic fantasies about him. On top of that, the cot was uncomfortable, and she was unaccustomed to sleeping in such close quarters with other people. The unfamiliar sounds of the base had kept her awake until finally she’d fallen into a fitful sleep, only to be wakened by Chase.