No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  “Kate,” he warned softly.

  “Shh,” she whispered, standing directly in front of him. “Don’t talk. I know what you’re going to say, and you’re wrong.”

  His voice was a husky rasp. “You’re about to do something that you’ll regret.”

  “Wrong again,” she said, and with her heart in her throat, she slowly pulled her shirt over her head until she stood in front of him wearing only her loose flannel lounge pants and socks. She didn’t try to cover herself. She wanted him to see her, to be tempted by her.

  He made a sound that was half growl, half groan, and his hands formed fists on his thighs. “I’m giving you one last chance, Kate, but if you don’t turn around right now and go back to bed, I won’t be responsible for what happens.”

  But instead of retreating, Kate took a step forward, until her knees almost bumped against his. Chase’s eyes glittered in the dim light as they slid over her, and his chest rose and fell swiftly, evidence that he wasn’t nearly as composed as he seemed.

  She didn’t say anything, simply straddled his legs, forcing him to make room for her. She sat down, looping her arms around his neck. He sucked in his breath and the expression in his eyes was so heated that Kate wouldn’t have been at all surprised if steam started rising from his damp skin. Her breasts brushed his chest as she leaned forward and feathered her lips over his in the barest whisper of a kiss. He groaned and turned his head, following her mouth with his own.

  “Tell me that you want me,” she demanded softly, and punctuated her words by taking his hand and placing it over one breast.

  “Kate…” His voice was ragged.

  “Tell me.”

  “Ah, Christ,” he breathed in capitulation. He hauled her against his chest, sliding one hand over her bare back and thrusting his other hand through her hair to cup her scalp and angle her face for his kiss.

  There was nothing sweet or romantic about the contact. His kiss was greedy and desperate, as if he’d hungered for her and now feared she might vanish before he could get his fill. His tongue swept past her lips and teeth to ravage the inside of her mouth. One hand slid down her back to press her closer as he ground his hips upward. He consumed her, sucking and licking at her mouth, fisting his hand in her hair to hold her still.

  Kate had never experienced such complete and total possession before, and she welcomed it, sliding her arms around his shoulders and spearing her fingers through his damp hair to return his kiss eagerly. He tasted hot and sweet and his tongue slid sensuously against her own, driving her need higher. She heard a small moaning sound as she shifted closer, and realized with a sense of shock that it came from her.

  “More,” she managed to pant against his mouth, and cradled his head in her hands, deepening the kiss. She hardly recognized herself; she’d never been so consumed by lust, and all she could think about was the aching spot between her legs. She knew if Chase touched her there, he would find her drenched with moisture.

  She gave a surprised gasp when he gripped her bottom in his hands and stood up, supporting her as if she weighed nothing. Kate locked her legs around his hips and hung on as he walked them over to the bunk and then bent forward, letting her fall back onto the mattress. As he straightened, she saw the hard thrust of his arousal beneath his camo pants, and the realization of what they were about to do hit her.

  “I don’t want you to stop, but what if someone comes?” she asked breathlessly, her gaze shooting toward the entrance where Charity lay and watched them curiously.

  “I’m hoping that will be you,” he said, his eyes glittering hotly as he looked down at her. His voice was a husky rasp. “Don’t worry. You were right when you said that nobody will be out in this weather. Even if they were, they wouldn’t come in.”

  “Are you sure?”

  His hands paused in the process of unfastening his belt. “Having second thoughts?”

  “No!” If he stopped now, she would die. She was sure of that. Sitting up, she brushed his hands aside and her fingers trembled as she eagerly unfastened his belt. “Definitely no second thoughts.”

  The buckle fell away and Kate tugged on the button of his pants until that too popped open beneath her fingers. Before she could unzip them, however, Chase sat down beside her on the narrow mattress, the metal bunk squeaking beneath their combined weight. Bending over, he unlaced his boots and pulled them off, dropping them onto the floor by the bed. Then he turned to Kate, and she felt herself tremble at the intensity of his gaze.

  Chase slid a hand beneath her hair and cupped her jaw, searching her eyes in the dim light. “There’s still time for you to change your mind,” he said in a husky voice. “Don’t get me wrong. I want you more than I’ve wanted anything or anyone in a very long time, but I can’t make any promises to you. You’ll be returning to the States in another week or so, but I’ll be here for another six months.”

  Kate covered his hand with hers. Turning her face, she pressed a kiss into his palm. “I don’t need promises,” she assured him, desperately hoping he didn’t hear the tremor of uncertainty in her voice. “I just want you tonight. Now.”

  Everything about this guy appealed to her, and it frightened her a little just how easily she could imagine him in her life. But she knew he was right; she couldn’t keep him. She’d already decided that if she could just have him for this short time, she could walk away afterwards.

  Chase gave a soft groan at her words and pushed her down on the bed, following her with the length of his body until he lay half beside and half on top of her. He braced his weight on one elbow as he slid his free hand over the curve of her rib cage and cupped one breast with a tenderness that bordered on reverence.

  “I’ve thought of this more times in the past twenty-four hours than I can count,” he admitted with a rueful laugh as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. “Damn, you are so pretty.”

  Kate arched upward into his palm, and curled her legs around his hips as he dipped his head and kissed her. He fondled and caressed her breast, and the combination of his rough hand on her skin and his hot tongue in her mouth was like a drug, making her go boneless with desire.

  Sliding her hands over the strong muscles of his back, she pushed at the waistband of his camo pants. He helped her to drag them down until he could kick them free of his legs, and then suddenly there he was. When he was about to bend over her again, Kate stopped him with a hand on his chest.

  “Wait,” she demanded, her eyes drifting over his shoulders and chest, following the deep groove that bisected his pecs and abdomen, to where his erection jutted out strongly from his body. For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. “I just want to look for a minute.”

  “Here,” he grunted, and dragged her hand down his body until he closed her fingers around his thick length. He pulsed hotly against her palm, and her heart rate quickened at the thought of having that part of him inside her. She skated her thumb over the blunt head, and it came away slick with moisture, causing an answering surge of dampness at her core. He made a guttural sound of pleasure and dropped his head to her shoulder, and Kate realized she had been stroking the length of him. His ragged breathing was a total turn-on, and she caught his mouth with hers in a deep kiss as she continued to fondle him. Overhead, the rain drummed loudly on the top of the tent, and the wind sucked at the canvas walls. But on the narrow bunk, with the warmth of the sleeping bag beneath her and Chase above her, Kate thought they might be the only two people in the world.

  “Darlin’,” he gasped, “you need to stop or this is going to be over before it’s even started.”

  Reluctantly, Kate released him, but couldn’t resist sliding her palms over the hard planes of his chest and torso, admiring his thick muscles. When she reached his neck, she cupped his nape and drew him down for another deep kiss. He tasted like fresh mint and smelled like spicy soap and clean, male sweat. She wanted to devour him.

  “Help me take these off,” she said quickly, using her free hand to push her flannel loung
e pants down over her hips. Chase scooted back between her legs and hooked his thumbs in her waistband, pulling the pants off in one smooth movement. Then, with his eyes glued to her body and glittering hotly, he grasped one ankle in his hand and tugged her sock off, before doing the same to her other foot.

  Kate knew she should feel embarrassed by his riveted attention, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel any shame. It had been so long since anyone had looked at her as he was looking at her now; as if she were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Had anyone ever looked at her like that? She could no longer remember.

  “Oh, man, you are so freaking gorgeous,” he breathed. “But we can’t do this.”

  * * *

  FOR THE SECOND TIME in as many days, Chase had Kate Fitzgerald spread out on a bed beneath him, and while he’d believed that nothing short of a direct rocket attack would prevent him from making love to her, he’d been wrong.

  Kate stared at him with a mixture of dismay and frustration. “What do you mean we can’t do this?” Her voice was edged with desperation.

  “Kate,” he groaned, “I’ve been over here for six months, and I’ve just returned from two weeks in the field. Until yesterday, my entire focus revolved around my mission. I didn’t exactly come prepared.”

  “Oh.” Understanding dawned on her face. “Well, that’s disappointing, but we could always improvise.”

  Chase lowered himself down beside Kate and pulled her into the curve of his body, using his free hand to leisurely explore her curves. “We could,” he agreed. “In fact, we might not have another choice. As unromantic as it sounds, my job is to protect you, even in bed. I won’t risk getting you pregnant.”

  Kate pressed against him and traced her tongue along his jaw to his ear. She caught his earlobe in her teeth and bit gently. “Then you can relax, soldier,” she whispered. “I’m on the pill, and I don’t have anything contagious. And I’m willing to bet that you don’t, either.”

  Chase felt his blood begin to churn through his veins. The sensation of Kate’s silken limbs entwined with his own, combined with the things she was doing with her tongue, was enough to make him discard his common sense and agree with her.

  “I’m clean,” he assured her.

  “Well, then…” Kate rolled completely toward him and hitched one leg over his, slowly gyrating her hips against his. Her lips trailed a path along his neck and over his collarbone, while her fingers played with the small nubs of his nipples.

  Flipping her onto her back, Chase used his knees to spread her thighs wide, and then caught her wrists in his hands, dragging them up over her head and pinning them there.

  “I want this to last,” he said, dipping his head and kissing her slowly. “But if I let you set the pace, I won’t make it another five minutes. Trust me?”

  She nodded, her breathing coming in fast pants. “Yes.”

  “Good,” he smiled, “because I’ve been wanting to do this since I first saw you.”

  He kissed her slowly, a soft, moist fusing of their lips, before he moved lower, over her neck and upper chest, until he reached her breasts. He took his time, laving each one with his tongue before drawing a nipple into his mouth and sucking hard on it. Kate moaned and writhed beneath him, but Chase didn’t release her. He kissed and suckled her other breast until both stood up stiff and rosy and gleaming with moisture. Then, releasing her hands, he eased backwards, dragging his mouth over her rib cage and belly, feeling her muscles contract as he moved lower.

  When he reached the apex of her thighs, he skated his tongue along the seam of her thigh, and used one hand to cup her intimately. She sucked in a sharp breath and her hands flew to his wrists, which held her by the hips. Chase stilled, certain she was going to stop him. But after a moment she relaxed her grip on him. Smiling against her skin, he began to gently massage her as he kissed the inside of one thigh, and then the other.

  Slowly, he slid one finger through her damp curls to the seam of her sex and gently parted her. She was slippery with arousal, and as his finger swirled over her clitoris, she gave a soft cry of pleasure and her hips jerked.

  “That’s it,” he said approvingly.

  He smoothed her curls out of the way, opening her with his fingers so that he could see the small rise of flesh that begged for attention. He glanced up the length of Kate’s body and saw that she had raised her head and was watching him with eyes that were hazy with desire. Her hair was messy and spilled over her shoulders in thick waves, and her breasts rose and fell quickly with her agitated breathing. She looked like every fantasy he’d ever had, and his cock was so hard for her that he wasn’t sure he’d last long enough to get inside her.

  “I want to taste you,” he said, his voice rough with need.

  “Oh, God.”

  Taking that as assent, Chase bent his head and flicked his tongue over her, lightly at first, and then with increasing pressure and frequency as she moaned loudly and began rotating her hips beneath his mouth. Her fingers speared his hair, stroking and rubbing his scalp as she writhed beneath him. But when he inserted a finger into her she gasped. He could feel her inner muscles tighten around him, and knew she was close to losing control. He softened his tongue, swirling it around her clitoris as he inserted a second finger and thrust gently. Her hands gripped his head, and when he sucked on her, she cried out sharply and ground her hips against his face. He could feel her contract around his fingers, but didn’t stop, drawing her orgasm out until she collapsed back against the pillow and pushed weakly at his head.

  “No more,” she begged. “I can’t take it.”

  Chase withdrew, coming over her to kiss her deeply and let her taste her own essence on his lips. “Oh, you can,” he assured her softly.

  Reaching between their bodies, he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly surged forward, filling her. She was incredibly tight, her body closing around him so that he had a moment’s certainty that he wouldn’t last. Kate made a soft mewling sound, and reached down and cupped his buttocks, urging him closer.

  “You feel so good,” she breathed.

  Oh, man, she had no idea.

  He dropped his forehead to hers and paused, struggling for control.

  “I want you to come again,” he rasped, withdrawing and then sinking back into her in a series of thrusts that caused pressure to build at the base of his spine.

  Pulling her knees back, Kate locked her ankles around his hips and wound her arms around his neck, drawing his head down for a kiss that he felt all the way to his soul. He increased his rhythm, driving himself deeper into her slick heat and feeling her inner muscles pulling at him. Kate dragged her mouth from his, her breath coming in fitful pants as she met his thrusts.

  “C’mon, darlin’,” he coaxed, “come for me.”

  Sliding a hand between their bodies, he stroked a finger over her, satisfied when he heard her sharp intake of breath and felt a renewed flood of moisture around his cock. But even as she began to tighten around him, he lost his own tenuous grip on his self-control. Overhead, a deafening crack of thunder split the air. With a hoarse shout, Chase came in a blinding rush of pleasure, aware that Kate was right there with him.

  They lay together, breathing heavily for several long moments, before Chase had enough awareness to roll to his side and pull Kate into the curve of his shoulder. He pressed a kiss against her hair as the rain beat down on the canvas above their heads.

  She traced a lazy pattern over his chest with one finger. “Wow,” she said with a half laugh. “That was pretty amazing.”

  Chase had to agree. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been so turned on by a woman. Now, holding Kate in his arms, he knew that once wouldn’t be enough. His rampant imagination conjured up explicit images of all the ways he wanted her, and he felt a little hollow inside at the thought of her leaving Afghanistan and returning to the States. She’d told him that she didn’t need promises from him, but a part of him rebelled against having a relationship based so
lely on sex. For him, at least, it wasn’t enough.

  Gently pulling himself free, he searched for his clothing in the darkness and got dressed.

  “What are you doing?” Kate asked, but her voice was heavy with sleep.

  He found her shirt and helped her pull it on, and then laid her flannel pants along the bottom of the cot. She curled on her side, tucking her hands beneath the pillow.

  “Try and get some sleep,” he advised. “We’ll be getting up early to head over to Kandahar to see the last of the concert sites.”

  “Aren’t you going to stay the night?” Reaching out, she caught him by the belt and pulled him closer. “We have hours until morning,” she murmured, but her voice was groggy and he could see she was just seconds away from slipping into total oblivion. “You don’t have to leave.”

  Bending down, he gave her a lingering kiss, but when he pulled away, she was already asleep. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said softly. “If I don’t leave now, then I’m totally screwed.”

  He pulled the sleeping bag over her shoulders and watched as she murmured incoherently and snuggled deeper into its warmth. More than anything, he wanted to slide back into the narrow bed with her and warm her with his own body heat. Chase grabbed his rain poncho and pulled it on. He paused only briefly at the entrance to the tent before he ducked his head and ventured outside, acknowledging that he’d lied to Kate.

  He was already screwed.

  10

  IF IT WEREN’T FOR the deliciously tender places on her body, Kate might have imagined Chase’s heated lovemaking of the previous night. He had awakened her the following morning by calling her name through the entrance of the tent, but he hadn’t come in, telling her she had thirty minutes to get dressed and meet him outside.