No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  To his surprise, Chance burst out laughing.

  “What?” he demanded.

  “Man, you are so freaking transparent,” Chance said, still laughing. “Jenna told me all about your assignment. A pretty, curvy brunette who looked like she wanted to kill Jenna for just talking with you.” He gave Chase a knowing look. “You dog. You put the moves on her, didn’t you? C’mon, you can fool some people with your badass attitude, but not me, bro. I can see the truth. It’s written all over your face. You like this woman.”

  He said it as a statement of fact, and not a question. But he was right; Chase had never been able to keep a secret from his twin and there was no point in even trying.

  He blew out a hard breath. “Jesus, Chance, I’ve been with her all of three days and she’s so deep under my skin…” He scrubbed a hand over his hair. “But her client, the singer, flies in today, so it’s not like we’re going to have any chance to be alone again. And then in five more days, she leaves.”

  Chance considered him for a long moment. “Okay, I tell you what. Jenna already left. She’ll be gone for at least a week. I was going to crash in her unit tonight, but I can always go bunk with the itinerant pilots. Why don’t you and your lady friend use her place tonight? Hell, use it for as long as you’re going to be here. I know Jenna won’t mind.”

  The offer was so tempting that Chase was half inclined to retrieve Kate right then and drag her over to Captain Larson’s housing unit just so he could be alone with her. He ached to feel her body pressed against his own, and needed to hear her small cries of pleasure as he made love to her. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so eager to spend time with a woman.

  Now he shook his brother’s hand. “Thanks. I appreciate the offer.”

  “You bet. Look, I have to run, but it was great to see you.”

  “You, too,” Chase said, and gave Chance the key to Captain Larson’s unit. “You take care of yourself, okay?”

  He watched as Chance jogged away, then continued walking to the showers feeling lighter and more hopeful. He would be with Kate again that night, even if it was just for a few hours. He’d find someone to keep an eye on Kate’s sister for the time that they would be away from her.

  Whistling softly under his breath, he thought the coming day might just be the best one he’d spent in Afghanistan so far.

  12

  PULLING ON HER SHOES, Kate decided this was going to be the worst day of her life. Even the prospect of seeing Tenley again didn’t raise her spirits. If anything, she felt exhausted at the idea of looking after her sister for the next several days. She just wanted the tour to be over and to return to the States. She’d spent most of the night lying in her bed thinking about her own future. One that didn’t include Major Chase Rawlins. Just the thought of him brought a painful lump to her chest.

  Once the tour was over, she would return to Nashville with Tenley, but she’d decided that it was time to find her own place to live. She would continue to act as Tenley’s publicist, since it was clear that her sister needed her, but there was no reason for them to continue to live together. And then perhaps, in a couple of years, she could persuade Tenley to find another publicist. As for Chase…she would chalk it up as a learning experience and not make the same mistake again.

  She gave her laces a hard yank. Did Captain Larson have any idea that Chase wasn’t faithful to her? Maybe they had an open relationship. Kate didn’t know and didn’t care; she only knew that she could never share Chase with another woman. She had a vivid image of him making love to the pilot, and her stomach twisted.

  “You okay, hon?”

  Kate jerked her head up to see Jessica standing in the open door of the housing unit, watching her closely. She nodded and finished tying her other shoe. “Never better. My client comes in today and we can finally get this show on the road. I’m just anxious to get this over with so I can go home.”

  “Amen,” Jessica said, leaving the door open as she came in. “We missed you at breakfast this morning, but I brought you a nice pastry.” She held out the offering, neatly folded in a white napkin. “Full of lemon custard. Looks delicious.”

  Kate forced a smile and sat up straight on the small sofa. “Thank you, that was very thoughtful.”

  “Oh, no bother at all,” Jessica replied, sitting down on the lower bunk, across from Kate. “So how are you really doing? You look a little peaked to me.”

  Kate waved a dismissive hand. “No, I’m fine, really. Like I said, I’m just looking forward to going home.” She turned to pick up her watch from the side table. “I’ve decided that as much as I respect and admire what the troops are doing over here, if I never see another uniform in my life, it will be too soon. You might think they’re all hotties, but from what I can tell of the ones I’ve met, they’re just walking testosterone in combat boots.”

  The masculine clearing of a throat had her turning guiltily toward the door, where Chase’s broad shoulders nearly blocked the daylight. He looked so strong and commanding in his uniform and his sunglasses that for a moment Kate’s heart leaped. Then the scene from the previous night came rushing back, and she determinedly looked away.

  “Hmm,” murmured Jessica with a knowing smile. “You were saying?”

  Kate stood up, but didn’t apologize, despite the fact she knew that Chase had overheard her disparaging remarks.

  “Good morning,” she said, picking up her shoulder bag.

  The sunlight behind him cast his face in shadow, and with his sunglasses on, it was impossible to read his expression. “Good morning,” he said carefully. “If you’re ready, we can head over to the concert site and check it out. Your client’s flight isn’t due to arrive for another two hours, which leaves us plenty of time.”

  “Fine,” she said coolly. She turned to Jessica and Marion. “It was really nice meeting both of you. Maybe I’ll see you over at the flight line, but in case I don’t, have a safe trip back to the States.”

  Marion gave her a hug. “Just remember that most guys are jerks,” she whispered in Kate’s ear. “Don’t be too hard on him.”

  Kate gave her a stiff smile and pulled away.

  “Now you listen to me,” Jessica whispered, as she hugged Kate. “I don’t know who this guy is, but I do know that he isn’t deserving of a second look from you. I saw what he was up to last night, too, so don’t you give him the time of day.”

  Pulling away, Kate smiled at both women and turned to Chase. He jerked his sunglasses off and frowned, his sharp gaze sweeping her from head to toe and missing nothing.

  “Everything okay?” he asked as they walked toward the Humvee that waited for them. “You have shadows under your eyes. Didn’t you sleep?”

  “Not really,” she said stiffly. “Looks like you didn’t get much sleep, either.”

  “I managed to grab a couple of hours.”

  Kate barely suppressed a disdainful snort. She didn’t want to think about what Chase had been doing that prevented him from sleeping, and she certainly didn’t want him to know that she had witnessed him kissing Captain Larson. He was the Special Ops guy; let him figure out why she was in a bitchy mood this morning.

  They rode in silence for several long minutes. She could sense his puzzlement and his concern, but refused to look over at him, or speak.

  “Are you sure everything is okay?” he finally asked. “Because if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m here for you.” His voice was so warm and compassionate that Kate’s resolve almost wavered.

  Almost.

  Instead, she turned and gave Chase a level look, despite the fact her heart was hammering inside her chest. “I’m fine. Really.”

  “You know,” he mused, “I grew up on a ranch in Texas, and while it was just my parents and me and my brother, my uncle owned the neighboring ranch. He had five daughters. Five. Those girls spent as much time on our ranch as they did on their own, and I became pretty good at interpreting their moods.”

  Kate gav
e him a tolerant look. “So?”

  “So I know that when a woman says things like ‘I’m fine,’ and ‘Really,’ what she’s actually saying is ‘Screw you, I’m pissed at you,’ and ‘Leave me alone.’”

  Kate couldn’t prevent her quick smile, but then she sobered. “Well then, if you’ve broken the code, you should heed the hidden message.”

  “What’s going on, Kate? You can tell me anything.”

  Kate gave a disdainful laugh and turned her attention out the window. “Thanks, but I don’t think so. Why don’t we just go look at the site, okay?”

  She sensed his frustration, but he was nothing if not intuitive, and thankfully he didn’t pursue the topic. They drove in silence after that, until they arrived at an enormous parade field with a covered stage at the far end. Both the field and the stage swarmed with soldiers and technicians who were busy running electrical cables and wires, and setting up the amplifiers and speakers. A gigantic American flag provided the backdrop for the performers, and Kate watched as the lighting specialists flicked through all of the possible combinations.

  “Wow,” she said, climbing out of the Humvee.

  She walked toward the stage, taking note of the work being performed all around her. Along the perimeter of the parade field, food tents had been set up and Kate watched as the soldiers dragged out long tables and prepared enormous grills for what would surely be thousands of burgers and hot dogs over the course of the next two days and nights.

  “This is amazing,” she said, turning to Chase. “You really get the sense that these guys have done this before.”

  “They have,” Chase assured her. “This is the biggest base in Afghanistan, and hundreds of performers come through here. C’mon, I’ll show you where your client will be able to relax when she’s waiting to go onstage.”

  He took her elbow in a gesture that should have been impersonal, but Kate couldn’t prevent herself from stiffening at the contact, and then pulling her arm away. She heard Chase mutter a curse and sensed that he wanted to confront her, but there was no way she could let him do that. She didn’t feel strong enough to get into it with him about Captain Larson, and she absolutely did not want him to see how much it hurt her that he could go from her bed to another woman’s bed.

  Ignoring his frustration, she took her time examining the stage and the equipment preparations. She had been around concert performances for most of her life, first with her mother and then with Tenley. Watching the setup was as natural to her as breathing. When she had seen enough, she followed Chase into the building directly behind the stage. The USO had converted a dining facility into a large lounge area, with sofas and food stations, and just about everything the performers could want to either relax or practice before going onstage. There were several small rooms off to the side where they could even catch a quick nap.

  Chase came to stand beside her. “The USO has arranged to have massage chairs set up for the performers, and there are some rooms in the back where they can warm up, if they choose to.”

  Kate nodded, satisfied with everything she saw. “What time is the first performance?”

  Chase pulled a small notepad out of a pocket on his camo pants and quickly scanned through it. “The first performance is tonight, but it’s more of a warm-up, with each group only doing one or two songs. Tomorrow, two groups will each perform three sets during the Independence Day barbecue while the other groups do photo signings and meet and greets. The real show begins early tomorrow evening, with all the groups performing well into the night.”

  “So when will Tenley go onstage?”

  “I don’t have the order of the performances. If you’d like, we can talk to the USO. They’ll have that information.”

  “I know where they’re located,” Kate said quickly. “You don’t need to come with me.”

  Chase looked swiftly around, then caught Kate by the wrist and all but dragged her to one of the anterooms. He pushed her up against a wall and trapped her there with a hand on either side of her head. She would have to duck beneath his arm in order to escape, but she could see by the grim expression on his face that even if she succeeded, she wouldn’t get very far.

  “What the hell is going on, Kate? When I left you last night, everything seemed fine, and then this morning you begin treating me as if I’m a goddamned leper.” His eyes flashed. “Have I done something to offend you? Tell me what it is, so I can least try to fix it.”

  Kate swallowed hard. She’d known he wouldn’t let her behavior go unnoticed, but she hesitated to tell him why she was angry. Too many times, her relationships had ended because the guy she’d been involved with had chosen to leave. She’d had no choice and hadn’t been given an opportunity to try to correct the issue. She found she couldn’t do the same thing to Chase without giving him the satisfaction of an explanation. She knew from experience what that was like, and it sucked.

  Raising her chin, she met his eyes squarely. She could see the frustration and concern in their green depths, and something else, too. Heat. He wanted to kiss her, and the knowledge both thrilled and infuriated her, providing her with the courage to speak.

  “I saw you last night,” she blurted. “On my way back from the women’s showers.”

  He cocked his head and looked expectantly at her. “So…? Why didn’t you let me know? I thought we had an agreement that you wouldn’t walk to the showers alone. You should have called me.”

  Kate compressed her lips and stared mutely at him, willing him to come clean with her, and not continue this farce of pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

  “I didn’t call your name because it was clear to me that you were preoccupied with kissing Captain Larson.” She shoved angrily at his chest, but he didn’t budge. “I saw you, Chase! I know you spent the night with her. The least you could have done is told me you were already involved with someone. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you?”

  To her astonishment, he didn’t look guilty or ashamed at having been caught. In fact, his green eyes were alight with what might have been amusement and relief.

  “Tell me how it made you feel,” he said softly, crowding her with his body. “I want to know.”

  Kate couldn’t believe he could be that cruel. His demand was equivalent to emotional torture. Lifting her chin, she glared at him.

  “You want to know how it made me feel? Fine, let me tell you. It made me feel angry. And hurt. And stupid for having believed that you wanted me. And so mad that it took all my strength not to go in after you and scratch that woman’s eyes out!” She stared at Chase, her breathing coming in aggravated gasps. “There, are you happy now? I wasn’t even going to tell you that I saw you. I was just going to leave—go back to the States and pretend I never met you. But you—you—”

  She made a sound of extreme frustration and tried to break free, but he clamped his hands on her upper arms and hauled her up against his chest.

  “Katie,” he said softly, searching her eyes, “do you really think I could so much as look at another woman after being with you? Do you really have such a low opinion of me?”

  “I. Saw. You.” The words came out through gritted teeth.

  He considered her for a brief moment, then caught her by the hand and dragged her out of the room. “I want to show you something,” he said over his shoulder. “Then, if you still want to hate me, you can.”

  Kate hung back, not wanting to go anywhere with him, but resistance was futile. He hauled her effortlessly in his wake across the parade field and back to the waiting Humvee. “No, wait!” she protested. “Where you taking me?”

  “You’ll see,” he said grimly, and thrust her into the back seat, before climbing in beside her. “Take us to the flight-operations shack,” he said, leaning forward to speak to the driver.

  Kate stared at him in horror. “Oh, no,” she said, reaching for the door handle. “There is no way I am going to have a face-off with Captain Larson.”

  But Chase leaned a
cross her body and covered her hand with his own before she could open the door and jump out. He searched her eyes, and what she saw in their depths made her pause. “Trust me, Kate, okay?” His voice was low and compelling. “Just give me this, and I promise I won’t ask anything more from you.”

  Slowly, she released the door handle and sat back, still staring at him. “Okay,” she muttered.

  Satisfied, he resumed his position beside her, and they drove in silence across the base to the flight line. But instead of pulling up to the terminal, the Humvee drove to a separate building with a sign over the door that read Flight Operations.

  Kate’s heart was pounding so hard, she thought for sure that Chase must hear it, but he seemed too intent on getting her into the building to notice. Inside, three soldiers sat in a reception area, fielding phone calls and monitoring computers. The first soldier looked up, his gaze flicking from Chase to Kate, and then back again. If he thought it unusual that Chase was dragging a civilian female into the flight-operations center, he was too well-trained to let it show.

  “The pilots are in the conference room,” he said without preamble.

  “Thanks,” Chase muttered, and pulled Kate along a corridor until they reached a closed door. Without knocking, Chase opened it just enough to poke his head inside. “Sorry for the interruption. Can I speak with you privately? Now?”

  Kate couldn’t see who he directed his question to, but knew it was Captain Larson. Drawing a deep breath, she mentally steeled herself to face the pilot, vowing that she would never speak to Chase again for putting her through this humiliation. But it wasn’t a female pilot who came out of the conference room.

  Kate stared in dismay at the tall, broad-shouldered man who stepped into the corridor and closed the door carefully behind him. He wore an army-green flight suit with the US flag on one shoulder and an insignia patch on the other. Kate gaped at him, and her eyes dropped to the name patch on the front of his uniform. Rawlins.