No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  Her chest ached at the thought of leaving Chase, but she recalled what she had said to Tenley with such great authority: You only knew him for a few days! It’s impossible to fall in love that quickly.

  Did she love Chase? She didn’t know. But she did know one thing; she wasn’t going to make the same mistake her sister had.

  16

  CHASE COULDN’T EVER RECALL feeling such a strong protective instinct toward anyone as he did now with Kate. He’d seen the stricken expression on her face when Tenley had told her she was fired. Knowing how much Kate had sacrificed for her sister, he could only imagine what she was going through.

  He took her back to Captain Larson’s housing unit and made her a strong cup of coffee in an effort to combat the residual effects of the sleeping pills. She sat curled up on the small sofa, her hands cupped around the mug as she told him stories of how she had raised Tenley after she was orphaned. Kate had been little more than a child herself at the time, barely the same age as Tenley was now. His heart ached for her. It had to have been difficult, no matter how perfect she tried to make it sound. Knowing Kate, she’d tried to provide Tenley with the perfect childhood that she herself had been denied, even at the cost of her own dreams.

  For the first time, Chase understood the enormity of what Kate had sacrificed for her sister, and also what she had just lost. He crouched in front of her and gently took the cup of coffee from her hands and set it down, curling his own hands around hers.

  “Listen, Kate,” he began, “I think if you give Tenley some time, she’ll come around. She loves you, and I know she doesn’t want to hurt you. But maybe some space between the two of you isn’t such a bad thing.”

  Kate smiled ruefully. “I guess I didn’t want to admit that she was all grown up. I wanted to hang on to her for as long as I could. But still, to fire me?”

  “Maybe she’ll reconsider.”

  To his surprise, Kate laughed. “That’s not possible. You see, I didn’t get paid for what I did. She never actually hired me. I just sort of assumed the role of personal assistant because we didn’t want to publicize the fact that she was being raised by a sibling, and not some court-appointed guardian, like the media believed. So technically, I never actually worked for her.”

  Chase frowned. “You did all that for her without getting paid? How do you get by? Pay your bills?”

  “I have a small trust fund that I use for expenses.” She shrugged. “But I do a little web-design work on the side that provides me with pin money.”

  “You’re a web designer?” He couldn’t keep the astonishment out of his voice.

  “Well, I wanted to be a web designer,” she clarified. “I attended three years of night school to become a webmaster, but dropped out when Tenley was nine years old, because it was clear even then that she had talent. But I did design her website, and a few others, too. They’ve even won awards. I was hoping I’d be a lot closer to starting my own business by now, but Tenley’s career has kept me too busy for much else.”

  “I’m impressed.” He was. And happy to know that she had something she could focus on besides Tenley. “Maybe this is your chance to get your web-design business up and running.”

  She made a face. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Chase looked down at their linked hands and gathered his courage. He’d never felt so uncertain, even when he’d been on a dangerous mission with no idea if it would end well, or badly.

  “Here’s the thing,” he finally said. “I have to be here for another six months, but I want us to stay in touch. More than stay in touch, actually.” He looked up at her. “I want you to wait for me, Kate.”

  Her lips parted on a soft “oh” of surprise. “Wait for you? As in wait for you? What are you saying?”

  He gave a self-conscious laugh and peered up at her. “You really don’t know? I’m saying that I want an exclusive relationship. We can video-chat with each other whenever I’m on a base. And when I get back, I’ll return to Fort Bragg. That’s about ten hours from Nashville, but we could make it work.”

  Kate stared at him in bemusement, until finally she pulled her hands away and stood up. “This is all moving too fast,” she murmured.

  Chase dipped his head to look into her eyes. “We can go as slow as you want, darlin’. I just need to know if you’ll wait for me.”

  He’d surprised her. He could see it in her eyes. “You hardly know me,” she said softly.

  Chase struggled to keep his voice low and patient. “Then let’s take the next six months and get to know each other the old-fashioned way. We’ll talk and send letters, and when I get back, we’ll go away somewhere, just the two of us. Did I tell you that I have a little place on the beach in Beaufort?”

  Kate smiled. “Chase, you make it all sound so lovely, but I can’t make any decisions right now. I’ve just lost the only job I’ve ever had—”

  “Which is a good thing,” Chase enthused. “You can do web design anywhere. Come to North Carolina. You’ll love it, I promise.”

  He understood that her life had just been turned upside down, but there was no way he was going to let her run away to lick her wounds. He wanted to give her something to hope for, to look forward to. He wanted to give her a new start, with him at her side.

  “What if you change your mind?” she asked, searching his eyes. “Six months is a long time. What if I come down to North Carolina and you realize you made a mistake? What if you no longer find me attractive?”

  Chase laughed softly and cupped her face in his hands. “That is not going to happen. Don’t you get it? I’m crazy about you.” He lowered his head and covered her mouth in a slow, sweet kiss designed to show her just what she meant to him. When he finally pulled away, he was gratified to see her eyes had gone hazy with pleasure. “Have I convinced you yet?”

  She leaned into him with a soft sigh, her hands curling around his shoulders. “Not quite. I may need a little more persuasion.”

  “With pleasure,” he rumbled softly, taking her fully into his arms. “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to spend the next few hours persuading you.”

  He heard her breath catch, and his own quickened at the sensual promise in her eyes. “Then I won’t tell you how gullible I am, or that I have no willpower to resist you,” she said breathlessly.

  Chase chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  * * *

  CHASE PICKED HER UP the following morning before dawn, having secured a seat for her on a flight to Kuwait. From there, she would fly to Atlanta, and make her way home to Nashville. He had walked her back to her housing unit before dawn, but she hadn’t gone to bed, too consumed with thoughts of Chase to sleep. For the first time that she could recall, she was filled with a sense of hope and excitement.

  She couldn’t even feel remorse over the fact that Tenley had fired her, because in doing so she’d opened up endless opportunities for Kate. And while she hadn’t verbally agreed to relocate to North Carolina, she’d let Chase do his best to persuade her.

  Now she watched as he stowed her duffel bag in the back of the Humvee. Charity sat in the backseat and her tail thumped happily as Kate reached over to rub her head. “I am going to miss you,” she said, stroking the dog’s ears.

  Chase grunted as he climbed into the front seat beside Kate. “I can’t believe I’m jealous of that mutt.”

  “I’m going to miss you, too,” she said, letting her gaze travel over his face, memorizing his features.

  He turned toward her in his seat. “I’ll call you as often as I can, but I don’t want you to worry if several weeks go by without hearing from me.”

  She took a deep breath and laced her fingers with his. “I know you’ll be careful.”

  “You bet.”

  Too soon, they arrived at the terminal. Kate’s flight wasn’t due to depart for another three hours, but passengers were required to arrive early. Even at this hour, the lobby was filled with soldiers waiting to catch a flight, and military duffel ba
gs and gear littered the floor. As they made their way through the lobby to the check-in line, Kate grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to a stop.

  “Look,” she breathed, staring at one of the flat-screen televisions mounted on the wall.

  Chase followed her gaze and felt his stomach drop. There, on national television, was a video of Tenley Miles locked in a passionate embrace with a uniformed soldier backstage at the Kandahar concert. The crawl line across the bottom of the screen read, Beyond the Call of Duty?

  Kate turned to him. “Chase, I need to see Tenley. She’s not going to know how to handle this. She needs me to do damage control!”

  “Kate,” he said warningly.

  “I have to do this,” she insisted. “Just last week she was ripping the military apart, and now she’s caught kissing some soldier? You and I know the truth, but the media is going to have a field day, never mind the embarrassment this will cause for the Army!”

  She knew the instant he realized she was right. “Fine,” he bit out. “Let’s go. But just for the record, I’m all for letting her handle this one on her own.”

  They drove over to the tent where the performers were sleeping, but Tenley was already awake and sitting outside at a picnic table, sharing a cup of coffee with Doug. Kate had to admit that the two made an attractive couple.

  “I’ll tell her,” Kate said to Chase as she grabbed the door handle.

  Chase put his hands in the air. “Absolutely. You’ll get no argument from me on that.”

  Kate didn’t miss the way Tenley stiffened when she saw her.

  “Tenley, I need to talk to you,” Kate said without preamble, sitting down next to her sister. “I just saw a video clip of you and—and Doug on television. You were caught on camera kissing backstage. The media is going to have a field day with this, but I think I have a way that we could explain it and make the public sympathize with you.”

  Tenley’s face had gone pale, but now she reached over and covered Doug’s hand with her own, smiling in a way that Kate had never seen before.

  “Kate,” she said gently, “you’re not my publicist anymore. This isn’t your problem to handle.”

  “But you’re still my sister.” Kate frowned. “And whatever you might think of me, I know how to work the media. I can fix this, Tenley.”

  “Nothing needs to be fixed,” Tenley insisted. “I don’t care if the whole world knows I was kissing Doug backstage. I love him. I’m going to be honest and tell the press that Doug and I met and fell in love in Las Vegas last month. There’s a reason I came to Afghanistan, Kate. I didn’t plan for this to happen, but now that we’ve found each other again, I’m not letting go.” She gave Kate a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. And even if this backfires on me, I’m a big girl. I can accept the consequences, Kate.”

  Kate stared at her sister, barely able to believe what she was hearing. “Are you serious?”

  Tenley leaned forward and gave her a hug. “I’m completely serious.” Reaching out, she took Kate’s hand between her own. “I know you’re upset that I fired you, but I can’t let you put your life on hold for me any longer.”

  Kate shook her head. “I haven’t put my life on hold, Tens.”

  “Yes, you have. You think I don’t know what you’ve given up for me? Everything. You left college to take care of me. I know you had dreams of starting your own web-design business, and instead you’ve given that up to take care of me. I love you, but I want to make my own choices, even if they’re not always the right ones. I’m giving you back your life, Kate.” Her gaze flicked to Chase, standing by the Humvee. “Don’t waste it.”

  Kate returned her hug, watching Chase over her sister’s shoulder. He had his cell phone pressed to his ear, oblivious to the momentous event that was unfolding at the picnic table.

  She dragged her gaze away. “I’m proud of you, Tens, I really am,” she said.

  Tenley pulled away and looked at Kate. “I want you to stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine.” Reaching over, she grasped Doug’s fingers. “I have Doug now.”

  Kate drew in a deep breath, realizing this was a new beginning for both of them. “Okay,” she said, forcing a smile. “But you know how to reach me if you need me. If you’re sure…I have a plane to catch.”

  For just an instant, an expression of doubt and regret flashed across Tenley’s features. Then she looked at Doug and seemed to draw strength from his smile.

  “Have a safe flight,” she said to Kate, and hugged her again.

  Reluctantly, Kate rose and walked back toward the Humvee. Chase was still talking on his cell phone. As she watched, he snapped it shut and Kate couldn’t help but notice a new determination in his stride as he returned to the vehicle.

  He slid into the driver’s seat and turned the key. “Everything go okay?”

  “Surprisingly, yes. I mean, Tenley isn’t at all concerned about the publicity, and she seems to actually have a plan.”

  “That’s a good thing, right?”

  “Yes, I think it is. Who was that on the phone? It seemed like a pretty intense conversation.”

  Chase thrust the vehicle into Drive and they bounced along the uneven roads of the base, back toward the flight line. “The stand-down order for Special Ops has been lifted. By this time tomorrow, my team and I will be back in the field.”

  Kate stared at him and her heart seemed to skip a beat at the thought of him in danger. “So if you’re returning to duty, who will travel with Tenley and the rest of the performers?”

  Chase glanced over at her. “You have nothing to worry about, Kate. She’ll be well taken care of.”

  She nodded. “I know. I guess some things are just harder to let go of.”

  His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Tell me about it.”

  The remainder of the trip was made in silence, and Kate couldn’t help but think that she was going home a very different person than she’d been when she had first arrived, just five days ago. She was leaving Tenley behind. She was leaving Chase behind.

  She was leaving her heart behind.

  They reached the terminal, and Chase hooked the lead to Charity and let her join them as they made their way through the lounge to the flight line. He waited while Kate checked in, and then walked outside with her. A bus was already there to take them across the tarmac to the plane.

  “So I guess this is it,” she said, smiling brightly at him. She had told herself a hundred times that she would not cry.

  Chase reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small card. “I want you to keep this close,” he said. “Here is my address and the phone number for my headquarters offices, both here and at Fort Bragg. This is my email address, and on the back, I’ve written my stateside address and phone number. And just in case you can’t reach me, I’ve included my brother’s address.”

  Kate took the card and turned it over in her hands. “Thanks. I guess I don’t have to give you my information, right?”

  “I have your personal information,” he confirmed, his eyes gleaming. “Do me a favor and let me know when you get home safely, okay?”

  Kate nodded. “Okay.”

  “Come here,” he said roughly, and hauled her into his arms, uncaring of who might be watching. “You look after yourself. And call me if you need anything, got it?”

  Kate nodded, feeling as if something in her chest was about to break. “I’ll call you,” she promised. Not wanting him to see how close to tears she was, she pulled free of his embrace and bent down to hug Charity. “What will happen to her?” she asked, burying her face in the dog’s rough fur.

  “I don’t know,” Chase admitted. “I haven’t found anyone willing to sponsor her yet. But I’m not giving up. I still have six months.”

  “I’m sure it will all work out,” Kate said, standing up.

  Chase looked beyond her to the flight line. “Looks like your bus is boarding,” he said.

  With a small sob, Kate flung her arms around
him and pressed a hard kiss against his mouth. Then, afraid of what she might do or say, she turned and walked swiftly toward the bus. She felt his eyes watching her the entire way, but she refused to look back. Only when she was on the bus did she finally allow herself to glance back where she had left him.

  He was gone.

  17

  Six months later

  CHASE DIRECTED THE taxi driver along the sandy road that paralleled the beach, his eyes scanning the street until his little beach cottage came into view. Had it really been more than a year since he’d been home? He drew in a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been this nervous and excited all at the same time. Even when they’d finally managed to capture Al-Azir, in a mission that had challenged him on every level, he hadn’t felt the way he did now.

  Uncertain.

  Optimistic.

  Scared as hell.

  He had four weeks of leave ahead of him before he needed to report back to Fort Bragg. He could have gone to Texas to spend time with his folks. Instead, he’d come directly from the airport to Beaufort, North Carolina, because that’s where Kate was waiting for him. He hadn’t even changed out of his uniform.

  “Pull up here,” he instructed the driver, peeling some bills from his wallet and handing them over.

  Grabbing his gear from the trunk, he set everything down at the end of the walkway and took a minute just to look. The cottage was exactly as he remembered, with the overhanging porch and weathered shingles. Only now, flowering pots hung between the pillared supports and someone had put a fresh coat of paint on the door and windows. A small table and two chairs had been placed on the far end of the porch, where the view of the water was unobstructed.

  He’d hoped to see Kate waiting for him on the porch, but maybe she was inside. Drawing another deep breath, he picked up his duffel bags and made his way to the door. It opened beneath his fingers, and he stepped into the house, knowing instinctively that he was alone.