by Mj Fields
“Oh, Jax,” she said as she walked quickly towards me. “I wanted to come last night but your parents thought you should be resting. Here, could you put these in water?” She handed Frankie the flowers she had brought. “Something smells wonderful.” She sat in the seat across from mine.
“Thank you for the flowers, Mimi.”
“Darling, don’t look so worried, Jaxson is fine,” my mother reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.
“You know I worry about him all the time.” Mimi said glancing up at me for a moment.
My eyes went directly to Frankie who was standing at the counter buttering toast. Then back at my mother who was without a doubt enjoying this.
Frankie brought over the toast and set the plate on the table then walked away.
Tension was high but I hadn’t lost so much of my mind that I couldn’t see right through what was going on.
“Francesca, everything okay?”
“Yes, just cleaning up. Do you need something?”
“I’m a little tired.”
“I can help,” Mimi stood.
“No. I apologize to you all but I haven’t fully adjusted to the medication. I’m really not going to be good company.”
My father looked up from his phone, “You need us to call the doctor?”
“No. Just some sleep.”
Frankie was beside me unlocking the wheels and then she pulled back.
“I need to stand for a bit.”
“You’re tired.” She shook her head no.
“My ass is sore.”
“Jaxson.” My mother scolded as I gripped the table with my right hand and stood.
I felt a bit dizzy for a moment. Frankie stood beside me, wrapped her arm around my waist and held on. “If you need to lean on something, I’m right here.”
“Thanks kiddo, but Titan is gonna help me out.”
“I’m stronger than I look.” She narrowed her eyes slightly.
“I don’t need a girl helping me walk.”
“Ass,” she said almost too quietly to hear.
Titan came over, “Move it, Little Will. This is men’s work.”
She glared at him and he did the same to her. Finally she stepped away and Titan was on my left. I lifted my arm over his shoulder and used him like a crutch. “You’re overdoing it, man.”
“I need to build back my strength,” I looked behind me and saw my father engrossed in his phone, Mimi staring at my mother, my mother at Frankie and Frankie at me. “Things are gonna get worse before they get better.”
I sat on my bed, not the hospital bed, pulled the pillows behind myself, and sat back.
Titan was back out in the mix.
I wasn’t lying, I was exhausted. Frankie hadn’t come in the room. I guess I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t stuck up for her. I don’t remember when I fell asleep but it was somewhere between 11 and 11:30.
“Jaxson, you need to take your meds.”
I blinked and looked around, it was three in the afternoon. I went to sit up and it hurt like hell.
“Come on,” she said as she helped me.
“I slept all damn day.”
“Dr. Neil said it’s alright, expected. She is going to stop over tomorrow just to check everything out. But if your body is saying rest then that’s what you need to do.”
“Can you get Titan?”
The look of defeat crossed her face, “Shadows is here. I’ll get him now.”
~
After using the bathroom I laid in the hospital bed. I wanted to be able to sit up unassisted. I wanted to be able to get up and get to the bathroom unassisted. I wanted to be able to get through the day unassisted. I hated being dependent.
The meds hit and I was out.
Two days. Two doctor visits, too many dreams and too many nightmares. I was in hell and so was everyone around me.
I couldn’t even look at Frankie. I didn’t know if the dreams were memories or desire. Since Mimi’s visit she was quiet, distant, she hadn’t said much to me at all as a matter a fact. ‘Here’s your meds, Jaxson. You need to eat, Jaxson. Do you need anything, Jaxson?’ She was pissing me off. She was under my skin. I had no fucking clue what that meant. What the hell was the issue with Mimi and Frankie? I fucked Mimi at a party. One time with the chick and honestly I don’t remember it and that has nothing to do with my fucking brain being scrambled.
Why did Mimi Deveroux’s connection feel genuine? Why the fuck was she messaging me every day? Was I trying to decide between the two of them? If so, what would cause that? What made me even question my thing with Frankie, if I had married her?
Fuck, she had to be knocked up. That would explain the dreams of the kid. Why the hell wouldn’t they tell me I was going to be a father?
Oh, that’s right, Dr. Neil wanted me to remember on my own. Genuine memories.
I was using my crutch, just one, but at least I could piss by myself. I got up in the middle of the night and Frankie wasn’t in the bed across the room. I hopped out to the doorway, I heard someone talking.
Shadows.
I leaned out and saw him holding Frankie as her body shook. She was crying. She was crying to him. Rage boiled inside me. If she fell for me because of Will’s loss then she could easily fall for him. Is this why Mimi was still involved? Was I waiting for Frankie to realize she didn’t really love me like she said? Was I waiting for her to realize I wasn’t loveable? I couldn’t help myself.
“You two about done out here?”
They both looked up. Shadows looked pissed, and Frankie looked like she may throw up.
“You need something, Irons, or you just want to be an ass?” Shadows stood and handed Frankie a tissue.
“Frankie, are you knocked up? Is that why the rush on the alleged nuptials?”
She stood up and walked towards the door.
“Hold up, Frankie,” Shadows glared at me.
“No. No, I need some air.” She held her hand up.
“If you are, is it mine?” I was livid.
She started storming towards me. “How was the bachelor party with your little blonde bimbo, Jax?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I laughed.
“Okay, both of you calm the fuck down.”
“Is the mark on your ass from that punk ass bitch, Frankie?”
“You shut your mouth, Jax!”
“Why? I’m remembering shit, Frankie, or at least I think I am and then I wake up and you’re out here cozied up to him.”
“Him?” Shadows huffed. “You need to step back a bit, tiger. Maybe try rolling off the other side of that bed in there. You don’t talk to me like that, and you don’t talk to her like that either.”
“I see.”
“What exactly do you see?” He snapped at me. “We’re all team here Irons, bro and you know that.”
“I don’t know shit.” My fight was never with him. “But you two do. Was I okay with the two of you being so close?”
“She needed a shoulder.”
Frankie grabbed her phone off the counter and walked past me, “Where are you going?”
“To bed.”
Shadows looked past me, “Frankie, girl you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
She opened the door to Will’s old room and closed it behind her. Shadows shook his head at me.
“What!”
“She doesn’t want to be in there. She hasn’t been in that room yet.”
“She walked in there all by herself, no one forced her.”
“Right,” he looked past me again, “Well, let’s get your ass back in bed and I’ll go take care of your wife.”
“You better watch it, Shadows.”
“Why? What the hell are you gonna do about it?”
~
I woke from a dream to thunder and flashes of lightning. My dream was of Frankie, she was in bed crying and beat up. It wasn’t a place I had ever been, but my boys were there. So were two girls. In my d
ream I was the one holding her while she cried, not Shadows but he was there. She was resistant at first but I was relentless in my pursuit. I needed to comfort her.
Was it a memory spurred by the jealousy I felt before I fell asleep? I got up and went to the living room. No one was there. Thunder rolled through the air. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
I made my way down the hall. Will’s door was opened and Frankie lay in his bed curled up in a ball. Her eyes were smudged black underneath and with the light from the hallway I saw tear stains on her cheek.
Shadows was beside the bed, on the floor, asleep.
“She hasn’t been in there.” He had said to me.
Then a memory, he answered a door and wouldn’t let me in until I promised not to go off. Frankie had been jumped. I wasn’t there to protect her.
Another crash of thunder. Mimi and I in a hotel room, she was crying and I was comforting her.
Another crash. I leaned into the wall feeling like I may lose my balance, “I love you, Jax. I always have.” It was Frankie. My response, ‘Say it again.’
My heartbeat increased and thunder rolled again. “He responds to you, Francesca.”
It was Dr. Neil voice.
“I can’t lose him,” Frankie crying.
“If this is too much, tell me, Jax. I know you want to and I will wait right here until you can. I love you.” She was calm and comforting.
The tire swing, her parents, Shadows, Titan, and the Rev. My words
“When you said those three words to me I was floored. I didn’t just hear them I felt them. Like a rush of warm water, they poured over me taking a chill away that I had not ever even known was there. In that moment, I realized there was a part of my life that had been missing. It didn’t take long to realize it wasn’t just a part of my life, it was you. After that moment nothing in my life could ever be the same if you were not in it. I have never needed anyone to make me feel whole, but now if I am not with you I am not complete. You are the one person in this world that fits perfectly with me, and I know it’s because you were supposed to be mine. The word love doesn’t even begin to explain the feeling when you find the person who was made for you, but for now it will have to do. I love you, Francesca Cruz, and I would walk through hell if I knew I would end up right here, right now.”
Dazed, I made my way towards the French doors leading out to the back patio. I watched the lightning’s reflection off the ocean’s rippling waves.
Thunder made me nervous. The words she said to me would have made me run away for a lifetime and not just three damn years. The words I used with Francesca, would have paralyzed me before. But not anymore. I was strong, I was fierce, I was in love with a girl I treated like hell just a few hours ago out of the same irrational fear.
Thunder didn’t kill, it was the lightning.
Chapter 17
Frankie
Rise up to fall again
I woke up in Will’s bed. I had cried myself to sleep. I grieved the loss of my brother and then I grieved the inevitable loss of Jax, my husband of ten days.
I saw the light outside in the hallway flicker and looked at the clock. I wondered if the electricity had gone out and I had missed giving him his meds. I stepped over Shadows and felt guilty about how Jax had treated him because of the fact that I wasn’t strong enough for Jaxson Irons.
Will was gone. He would never come back. Jaxson had survived and as much as I loved him and wanted him to be mine forever, I would take comfort in knowing that although he may not be mine, he was alive.
I walked into Jaxson’s room and he wasn’t there. I looked in the bathroom and then went out into the kitchen. I turned when I heard thunder crash and saw something outside just off the patio.
A man. For a moment fear coursed through my veins and then I realized it was Jaxson.
I ran to the door and flung it opened. Then I ran to him.
Thunder crashed again and I yelled, “Jax, what are you doing!”
He turned to me and our eyes locked. “Say it again.”
I stopped. Was I was hearing things, “What?”
“Say it again.”
His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue, he looked angry, regretful, and hurt.
“I am so sorry. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I am a fucking mess. I don’t know everything but I know for sure that I love you. One more time, Francesca Irons, say it again.”
I ran to him and forced myself not to jump into his arms, “I love you, Ja--.”
He grabbed the back of my head and pulled it towards him. Our mouths collided as thunder crashed around us. His tongue stroked the inside of my mouth and heat ignited in every cell in my body.
I pulled back after a few moments, “You need to get inside.”
“Frankie, I--.”
“You’re soaked, Jax, your casts--.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” Shadows stormed outside.
“Remembering.” Jax eyes never left mine.
“Yeah, well could you do that shit inside?”
~
Once inside Shadows helped Jax sit down on the couch and I took off towards the master bedroom.
“Where is she going?” I heard him ask.
“Relax, man. If she didn’t leave your ass earlier, she’s not leaving now.”
“Get that shirt off him,” I came out with towels and dry clothes, “And the pants.”
“How about we save that for later,” Jax lip curled.
I didn’t reply. “We should call Dr. Neil. These aren’t even salvageable.”
“It can wait until morning,” Jax said as Shadows pulled his tee-shirt over his head.
“What kind of sane man goes out in a fucking storm with half his body in casts?”
“It helped, Shadows.” Jax’s tone was much lighter.
“Let’s fucking hope so. You are a miserable son-of-a-bitch.”
“You would be too in my situation,” Jax said as he pushed himself up. “I can get rid of these in the bedroom.”
Shadows helped him in the bedroom, “I want my bed, get rid of that fucking thing.”
“Sure thing boss, can it wait until tomorrow,” Shadows grumbled at him.
“Gonna have to.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Thank you, Lieutenant Shadows.”
“You done playing in the rain?”
“The storm is over,” Jax lifted his left leg and placed it on the bed.
“Let’s fucking hope so.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You better just keep on trying to remember.” Shadows turned and looked at me, “He’s all yours.”
I grabbed Shadows arm as he walked by, “Thank you, for everything.”
“Little Will, not a problem.”
When he left, I turned and looked at Jaxson. His expression was blank.
“Do you want your pain meds?”
“No, I want my wife to come over here and talk to me.”
“Jax--.”
“Frankie, I don’t remember everything yet. But I think tonight’s revelations are worthy of a chat regardless of the level of pissed off you’re at.”
“He was trying to help.”
“As well he should. It’s our bond, our promise. You and I made one of those too, so again I ask you to get over here, please.” Please was more of a plea. I couldn’t deny Jaxson, I couldn’t deny myself.
I sat on the opposite side and felt tears immediately fall. “I love you.”
“I know you do,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.
“You hurt me.”
“I’m sorry,” he laid back and pulled me down with him.
“Jax, why did you go to her?”
“I don’t know. I think my memories are coming back based on importance.” He pulled my head to his chest. “You got jumped.”
I shook my head as I wiped my tears off his shirt.
“I wasn’t there for you. He was.”
“Because you asked him
to be, Jax. It was never like what you implied.”
“I know. I know that, Frankie.” His lips were on my head and he was inhaling my scent.
“I don’t know what I would do if you cheated on me, but I have to know the truth.”
“I knew there was something between us. Always has been. When I look at her, I feel sorry for her.”
“She told me you went to her. That she knows your goals, ambitions, dreams and secrets.”
“You know all of that and you own my heart, Frankie. I don’t know what else I can tell you. I don’t remember her. I remember you. I remember our love. I have dreamt of what it’s like being inside of you for days. I sleep so I can feel it, feel you. I want to know if that was a dream or memory.”
“You’re broken. You need to heal.”
“Frankie, a broken man would be feeling real insecure right now about being turned down. Your husband, is not a broken man. Your husband needs you, just as damn much as you need him.”
He lifted my chin to his. Mouth to mouth, heart to heart, he pulled me atop him, body to body.
“Show me sweetheart, show me what I have been missing.”
He held my face, tilted it how he wanted it, then his lips met mine. Once he set into a slow explorative rhythm his hand moved down, took the hem of my shirt and lifted it up. I raised my body allowing him to pull it up. The seal of our kiss broke for but a moment as he pulled my shirt over my head and threw it to the ground. His hands moved down my sides slowly until they reached my pajama shorts.
He pushed his uncast hand slowly under my waistband and cupped my ass. His thick cock growing against me made my body ache with need. His grasp tightened and he pushed me against him as he rocked into me moaning into my mouth.
His hips rolled and his kiss became more urgent. He sucked my tongue as his thrusts against me became harder. I rubbed against him, the friction of our bodies most intimate parts caused me to whimper. His hand pulled out of my shorts and reached behind my knee pulling it up, spreading me further apart. His hand returned to my ass and he pushed past my waistband
His finger ran down the crack of my ass until the pushed against my wet slit.
I gasped and he broke our kiss, “I don’t know much but I can tell you I missed the sounds you make and the way you feel.”
