by Mj Fields
I looked at the plate, rice, beans, and chicken. I picked up the fork and put it in my mouth. After swallowing I looked up, “It’s good, thank you.”
She gave me a small smile, “Mom made it.”
“I’ll have to remember to thank her.”
She looked at the ground and I lifted the fork to my mouth again. I wondered what she was thinking. My hand began to shake and some of the rice spilled.
She got up and walked into the kitchen.
When she came back she picked up the plate and sat on the coffee table, “Let me help.”
“I can do it, Frankie.”
“Uh huh,” she scooped up some rice and held it up. The closer it got to my mouth the more foolish I felt.
“The pills, please.”
“Two more bites.”
“Then I can do it.”
“Jax, I am here to help. Four days ago you almost died. You should still be in the hospital but your stubborn ass--.”
“Francesca--.”
“Your stubborn ass had to come home. You aren’t hooked up to fluids so you have to drink so you won’t get dehydrated. You need to eat so that your stomach doesn’t get torn up. You’re in pain, yet you sit here and argue. The sooner you get better the sooner you can get rid of me, Jax, so open your mouth and eat.”
Her hand trembled and her eyes showed signs of moisture. I didn’t want to see her cry. Hell she had done that more than enough times over the past ten years I had known her. “Two bites.”
“Then you can have your medication.”
She held up the spoon again and this time I took it. She fed me one more and then stood and grabbed the pills, “After you take these we need to get you in the bedroom and let you sleep. In six hours you can have more.”
I didn’t argue, I didn’t have the strength but when she brought the chair over I gave her a look, “Jax, you need to take it easy for a few days. You have a head injury, broken leg, and arm. Until you are ready to use crutches or one crutch, cause I have no idea how the hell you’re going to use two, you need to let me help.”
“I’m not ready to go to bed yet. I’d like to watch the news. I’d also like to have some more to eat.”
She smiled as she grabbed the plate and sat in front of me and I let her feed me.
Chapter 15
Frankie
Comforted in the dark
It had been a week since Jax surprised me on June 20th and I became his wife, June 23rd I nearly lost him, and June 30th, a week later, I was sitting in front of a man who didn’t know he loved me.
I had been away from him for three days and it felt like a lifetime.
“Francesca?”
I looked up, “Sorry?”
“You look tired.”
“Thanks,” I nodded.
“That’s not what I meant. Jesus, I don’t even know,” he stopped and looked at me, “I have so many questions.”
“I know. I would do anything to give you the answers you need, Jax, I really would.”
“Right. Look, I don’t know how this started but I can’t even look at your parents. It’s hard as hell to look at you, you’re Will’s kid sister for fuck sake.”
“Not a kid anymore,” I held up the spoon.
“I’m all set. Thank you.”
After taking care of the plate I looked at Jax and he was still clearly frustrated.
“Those meds should kick in soon.”
“I want some damn answers.”
“Well, you are in luck,” I sat back in front of him on the coffee table, “I have some, not all, but some. I don’t see any doctors around here and I don’t see your boys. So, Jaxson Irons, let’s talk about your last memory.”
“I went for a run, you were on the beach. That’s all I remember.”
“Do you remember telling me you had to work and that’s why you couldn’t go to dinner with me and my parents?” His eyes narrowed a touch. “I know you may not remember that but I do. I’m over that little white lie and I understand that you were avoiding me, what with the dreams and all.”
“Dreams, what are you talking about?”
“The dreams you had of me while in Pensacola.”
“I don’t know what--.”
I laughed, it couldn’t be helped and he stopped.
“Look, I know about the dream. I know you slept with someone who heard you say my name in your sleep and you thought she may think you were bi.”
“Okay, I’m ready for bed.”
“Jax, I can promise you that I have given you stories about myself that made me uncomfortable but I trusted you with them. I can promise you that as uncomfortable as you are right now, so am I. It’s hard for me too. But I can promise you I won’t push and that I will love you and continue letting you see and feel that.”
“Why was I with Mimi at functions if you and I were together?”
“Your mother had it set up. You and I were still trying to figure us out.”
“And you were alright with that?”
“I won’t say you or I were happy, but it was necessary at the time. We had a rocky start.”
“I see. I didn’t treat you well.”
“Not true. No, but you will remember, Jax. I know you will. Your eyelids are getting heavy and I don’t think I could carry you to bed so I think we should head in.”
“We?”
“I know you don’t remember, but please just trust me. I want nothing but the best for you.”
He allowed me to help him into the chair but when we went into the bedroom and he saw the hospital bed, he was clearly agitated.
“It’s just for now.”
He looked at our bed on the other side of the room. He had replaced the bed at the cabin and this one. He wanted new for us. He never went into detail about why but I knew it was because he wanted our start in life to be a new beginning.
“You bought some new furniture.”
“I did?”
“Yes, all by yourself.” I said as I locked the chairs wheels. “This bed is just rented, it goes back when you get better. Then --.”
“Frankie,” he said, stopping me.
Once he was situated in his bed I leaned over him and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Jax.”
He closed his eyes, “I don’t know how to respond to that, Frankie.”
“You will soon.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Then I pull out every move I have to make you feel the way you felt about me a week ago.”
“I’m tired.”
“Me too. Goodnight, Jax.”
After cleaning up the kitchen and sending Shadows a message, I opened the door and let Russ in as instructed.
“Mrs. Irons,” he nodded as he walked in.
“Hi, Russ. There’s food in the refrigerator. Blankets and pillows on the floor next to the couch. You can stay in the spare room if you’d like.”
“This is fine.”
“Okay, I am going to bed. I will be up in six hours to get Jax his medicine.”
~
The past three nights I had tossed and turned. I had missed being in Jax’s arms. I would never sleep like I did when I was in them. Safe, warm, loved, and desired. Tonight I hoped would be different. At least he was under the same roof, he was alive and on the mend.
I changed into my pajamas and then stood at the end of his bed. He looked good, considering. His eyes were still blackened and he looked a bit pale for Jax, but tomorrow he’ll look a little better, feel a little better, and God willing remember a little more.
I sat next to him and leaned in, needing to kiss him again. Although he was asleep and didn’t reciprocate, he didn’t pull away either. I lay on my side and held my hand to his chest. I wouldn’t fall a sleep, I just wanted to be near him.
~
I woke to a low groan and something moving. I quickly realized I had fallen asleep.
I started to sit up and stopped when I heard his voice, “Frankie?”
I looked up into Ja
x’s pain filled eyes.
“Let me get your meds.”
He closed his eyes and gave a slow nod.
I walked out into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and looked at the clock. It was nine in the morning. I looked at the couch and Titan was sitting reading the paper.
“Morning,” I whispered.
“How’s he doing?”
“I overslept. He should have had his pain meds hours ago.” I said as I walked by him and into the bedroom. “Jax, I am so sorry. I have no idea how I could have fallen asleep. Here.” I handed him the water and his pills.
He took them and swallowed them down.
“You were tired, don’t beat yourself up,” his voice was harsher than his words. He looked me up and down.
“Food, you need to eat. God how could I have--.”
“You were tired. I need the bathroom.”
“Okay, I will help you.” I started to push the wheelchair towards him.
“Did I hear Titan?”
“Yes, he is in the living room.”
“He can help me.”
I looked at him and scowled, “So can I.”
“Still not a morning person?”
“I want to help you.”
“Frankie, I’m really not that comfortable --.”
“Dear God, Jax, it’s been in my mouth I--.”
“You called?” Titan walked in and I quickly covered my mouth. I looked at Jax and his face was unreadable. “What do we have here? One of these beds looks uninhabited.”
Jax slowly looked away from me, “I need to use the bathroom.”
“I’ll warm up breakfast.”
I walked out and looked through the fridge. Mom had left enough food for a week which was a good thing since I couldn’t cook.
I pulled out the breakfast casserole and popped it in the oven on 350 then decided to make him toast while it heated up.
A knock on the door made me jump. I quickly grabbed the sweatshirt off the counter and threw it over my head before opening the door.
Helen Irons stood before me. She looked me up and down before speaking, “Well are you going to let me in?”
“Of course,” I stood back and only then did I see Jax’s father walking toward us.
“Do you think maybe you should get dressed, Francesca? It is after nine in the morning.”
I looked down at myself and then back up at her, “We just woke up.”
“Hmm,” Helen said, still eyeing me.
I excused myself and walked to the bedroom. I quickly grabbed the brush off the dresser and brushed through my hair as I went to the closet and grabbed some clothes.
I threw my clothes off and grabbed a bra and panties.
I heard the door opened and then Titan, “Hey look I’m not judging she’s definitely a hot little piece of--.”
“Okay, watch yourself,” I heard Jax and smiled.
“Well, there you go. You may not remember her but you don’t want anyone else even thinking about tapping that.”
“Look, I have no idea why she was in my bed. I--.”
“Don’t remember?” Titan snickered.
“Fuck you, man.”
“Dude, you can’t wheel yourself one handed, you’ll be going in circles and as amusing as that would be to watch--.”
“Get out so I can get dressed.”
“That ought to be good,” Titan laughed and then I heard the door shut. I reached up and grabbed a tee-shirt off the top rack and then a pair of shorts.
I bent over to throw on my shorts and I heard him behind me, “Damn it--.”
I jumped at turned around, “Sorry. Your parents are here and --.”
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Excuse me?”
“The scar--.”
“We’ve been over this a hundred times and,” I paused, “It’s no big deal, okay?”
I bent down and grabbed the tee-shirt and threw it on over my head.
“Frankie, it is a big deal.” He stopped and looked up.
“Jax, are you alright?’
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
I stepped into my shorts and buttoned them, “Your parents are here.”
“My parents?”
“Yes, that’s why I’m getting changed. She told me I should put some clothes on.”
“Well, she hasn’t seen you without or--.” He stopped and looked at me. I couldn’t help but grin and he shook his head.
“Someone did that to you.”
“Yes, Jax. But it wasn’t to harm me. It was just something I used to enjoy. Now let’s get you dressed.”
“You enjoy being marked?”
“I enjoyed,” I emphasized the D, “Feeling anything but loss after Will died. When you get your memory back--.”
“”Okay, I get it,” he continued looking at me. I knew that look. Jax was trying to remain in control.
“What do you need me to get for you in here?”
“Shirt and shorts, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t.”
I pulled a tee-shirt over his head and helped him put his left arm through. When I pulled it down I leaned in and gave him a kiss on his nose, “Sorry.”
“My parents,” he reminded me.
“Right,” I knelt down and lifted his leg that was in a cast and guided it through.
He pushed the other one through, “Can you stand?”
“I’m gonna have to.” He used his right side to carry the burden of both left and right and stood covering himself with the towel, draped over him.
I pulled his shorts up and reached behind him to straighten the waistband, “Jax?” He looked down at me, “I really need to hug you.”
He didn’t reply, I didn’t give him a chance. I wrapped my arms around him and held on.
He didn’t pull away or tense. He stood perfectly still as I rested my head over his heart and listened to its beat. “That’s the most beautiful sound in the world, Jax.”
“What is?” he said quietly.
“Your heart beating,” I looked up at him, “I was so scared I was going to lose you too. I don’t know what I would have done.”
He brought his hand up and held my head against his chest, “Only the good die young, Frankie, and I’m not good.”
Chapter 16
Jax
Thunder
I didn’t want to let go of her. From memory I knew I stayed in Pensacola for three years so that I didn’t give into an urge after the loss of Will, it felt wrong. But in light of what I knew had to be true I had, in fact, been with Frankie. She had the same fiery personality I remembered, but now it was softened by words she spoke to often, ‘I love you Jax.’
I didn’t know if I deserved her love. I did know it felt good. I did know I didn’t want her to leave and I did know that she had blossomed over my three year self seclusion where I tried to stop myself from thinking of that kiss by the old tire swing.
Without thinking I kissed the top of her head, the feel of her silky black hair on my lips caused me to pull back immediately. The desire to take her was more intense than in any dream I had ever had.
She looked up at me. Her brown eyes shimmered. Love? Hope? Desire? Happiness? Those emotions were always taboo.
“My parents are here, you okay?”
She shook her head yes and stepped back, “Are you?”
“Not sure what I am, to be honest.”
“It felt right though, didn’t it?”
“Frankie, slow and steady.”
“Right, of course. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.” More so than she could imagine.
“Breakfast should be ready.”
“Thanks, Frankie,” I sat back in the chair and she walked behind me and pulled it back.
When she wheeled me out into the living room I saw my parents talking with Titan. Shadows was always better with them, Titan just couldn’t hold shit back. Another reason I trusted him. He was incapable of bullshitting anyone, u
nless it would compromise the safety and security of those he lived to protect and serve.
“Jaxson, how are you feeling?” Mother asked from across the room.
“Like shit.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with them. It was shocking they even came. We hadn’t seen very much of one another.
“You poor dear. You should really come home with us. We have help that could look after you.
“I’m fine, Mother.”
Frankie put her hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her, “I’m going to get you some breakfast, where would you like to be?”
“Running on the beach.”
She smiled and whispered, “Soon. The living room or dining room table?”
“Dining room is fine, thank you.”
She pushed me towards the table and I heard mother’s heels tapping across the hardwood floor. “You should have an electric chair, Jaxson. It would make you much more independent.”
I looked over at her, “I don’t plan on retiring in this. I don’t want to be in it any more than you want me to be in it.”
“Jax, you’re doing great. We want to help,” Frankie said from across the room.
I watched the way my mother looked at her. Distain. It pissed me off.
“Thank you, Francesca, I appreciate it.”
“Hmmp,” Mother sat beside me.
“Are you hungry, Helen?” Frankie asked as she brought in a plate full of an egg dish.
“Oh God, what is that?” She asked.
“Eggs, ham, broccoli, peppers, onions, and toast is almost ready,” she said and set it in front of me. “I didn’t cut it up. Should be easier to manage than rice. If you need help--.”
My mother laughed, “He’ll be fine, won’t you, Jaxson?”
“Yes.”
“Something smells good,” Titan came over and sat down. “Senator, you hungry?”
“Sure.” Dad came over and sat down and Frankie looked towards the table.
“Need help, Frankie?”
“Nope, I’m fine.”
She brought over the plates and silverware and set it down. A knock on the door stopped her from sitting. She walked over and opened the door. She didn’t say a word but her body stiffened and when Mimi walked in, I understood why.
