The Breakup Artist

by Shannen Crane Camp

  I walked slowly to find Karen, feeling that this was a conversation I would need to have in person rather than on the phone. She was in one of the long hallways where a row of brown lockers stood. She had her back to me, and I felt a bit like a lion on some nature show, creeping up on my unsuspecting prey. I tapped her shoulder lightly and was met with a drained-looking Karen. Her face was pale and her eyes were red rimmed. Even her constantly blushing cheeks seemed completely lifeless and pallid.

  “Karen, are you all right?” I asked automatically, true concern filling my voice. As a rule I never cared much about clients, and they never cared much about me. What I did was strictly business and that was how I liked to keep it, but Karen was such a sweet girl that I couldn’t help but feel genuinely worried about her.

  “I guess I won’t have too much trouble faking sick tomorrow, huh? I didn’t think I looked that bad,” she answered, a joyless smile on her pale lips. “And I’m fine. I just don’t feel well. I think I’m getting the flu or something.” She shrugged this thought off and coughed into her hand before shutting her locker. I kept my eyes trained on her, afraid that if I let her escape my line of sight for a second she would just fall over right on the spot.

  “Do you need help getting to your car?” I asked apprehensively.

  “No, my mom picks me up. I’ll be just fine.” She began to walk away with a weak wave of her hand before I stopped her. I didn’t want to stress her out when she was so obviously in pain, but I needed to know that she really wanted me to end her relationship tomorrow.

  “I just have a quick question about the job tomorrow,” I said as neutrally as I could. She nodded, urging me to continue, and obviously wanting to get home to rest. Her eyes looked so tired. “Are you sure you want me to do it? I mean, I’ve been watching you and Nate, and you two seem really happy together.” I tried to keep my voice even and sound as uninterested as I could. Karen simply sighed and let her gaze fall to the ground.

  “I really do love him,” she said in a voice so resigned I wondered if my Romeo and Juliet theory was right after all. “I just can’t be with him right now. It’d be better if we were just friends.” She said all of this in a mechanical way, as if she had rehearsed the answer to this exact question in her mind so many times that saying it had become redundant.

  “You love him?” I asked, registering that she sounded as if she meant it. I’d only heard a handful of my clients use the word love, and most of the time it was something more like “Well, Amelia, I need you to break up with him because there’s this cute new exchange student that I just love.” The word had lost its meaning to me, and I always thought of it as a cheap title for lust. The way it came from Karen’s mouth, however, made me rethink that assessment.

  “I really do,” she answered, still sounding resigned. “It’s just . . . well . . . my mom won’t let me have a boyfriend. She’s so overprotective and I know she does it because she loves me and she’s worried, but that doesn’t make it any easier,” Karen’s voice cracked slightly, and I could tell she was trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. “She said that if she found out I was dating someone, she’d start homeschooling me again.” A single tear slid down Karen’s ashen cheek, and she looked up at me with her big green eyes that looked so much like David’s. “If I get taken out of school, I won’t be able to see him at all. At least if we’re broken up I can see him around school, even if it means I see him with another girl or completely over me.” Her words had stunned me into silence. The Romeo and Juliet theory was just a musing in my mind—I hadn’t thought Karen and Nate’s relationship was actually some sort of forbidden romance. I tried to clear these thoughts from my head.

  “Why don’t you just tell your mom that you don’t have a boyfriend but continue to see Nate?” I asked. I was pretty sure lying to your parents was not the kind of advice I should be dispensing, but it seemed to be a semi-desperate situation. Besides, no mother would dislike Nate, I was sure of it.

  “I can’t lie to my mother,” she said with so much disgust in her voice that I instantly regretted my words. It was true that I never lied to my mother. I just stretched the truth a bit. But then again, my mother wasn’t around enough for me to lie to her.

  “Well, then how about just telling Nate exactly what you told me? I’m sure he’d understand if you let him know that you weren’t breaking up with him because you wanted to.”

  “He wouldn’t understand. He already knows my mom doesn’t want me dating anyone, but if I broke up with him because of it, he’d just try to reason with me and talk me out of it.” She looked at the ground again, looking more fragile than when I’d first walked up to meet her. “I’d see his side of the argument and stay with him. But that’s not an option, so I need someone else to do it for me.” Another tear trailed down her cheek. “It really is for the best,” she added, more to herself than to me.

  “If you’re sure, Karen,” I said sympathetically. I’d never run into this situation before. It just figured that the day I met someone who actually had a legitimate caring relationship, there would be no way for me to save it. Some marriage counselor I was going to be.

  “I’m sure,” she whispered. And with that she was gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  My mom wasn’t home when I arrived from school, which didn’t surprise me too much, though it was always a disappointment. I found some leftover steak and potatoes from one of her “client dinners,” so I reheated it and made that my dinner. I spent that night trying to figure out how to woo Nate when I was supposed to be someone as sweet as Karen. After my little conversation with Karen earlier in the day, I had found David waiting by my car and had asked his advice on the situation, thinking he’d have a bit more insight than I did. Sadly, he couldn’t think of an easy way around the whole mess, so we parted there with the promise that I’d see him the next day.

  I was so exhausted by the day’s events that I didn’t even feel like painting, let alone doing homework, when I trudged to my room. I figured that everything that was due the next day I had already done, and all of my other homework could wait until tomorrow. My entire body felt tired from the emotional ups and downs of the day, and I began to wonder if maybe there was some sort of bug going around, and if Karen had given it to me. I concentrated all my efforts on going to sleep, and after what seemed like hours, sleep finally overtook me, giving me a dreamless eight hours before my alarm went off.

  My wardrobe wasn’t difficult to pick out that day, since Karen wasn’t exactly the complicated type. I wore khaki pants with white sandals and a white form-fitting T-shirt. With my hair pulled back into a short ponytail, I slung my white backpack over my shoulder and made my way out the door. I noticed my mom’s car in the driveway, which meant she’d had a long night and must have been sleeping. When she didn’t bother opening the garage to pull her car in, I knew she’d gotten home much later than she’d want to let on.

  I got into my own silver car and drove to school in silence. I had called David the night before to tell him not to talk to me today so that if Nate happened to walk by, he wouldn’t see me kissing some boy, and then trying to flirt with him. It had to seem like I was available, or this would never work. David hadn’t been happy with this idea, and I couldn’t blame him. Even I wasn’t happy with this, and I was the one making the rules.

  Pulling into the busy school parking lot, I glanced down at the clock on my dashboard. I only had about five minutes before the bell rang, so I’d have to seek Nate out quickly. I made my way to the cafeteria and pulled an apple from my backpack. This, of course, was simply a prop to make it look like I had a legitimate excuse to be in the cafeteria. I spotted Nate easily enough. His light brown hair and rosy cheeks gave him away pretty quickly. His back was to me, and his shoulders were hunched over as if he, too, were exhausted. There’s definitely a bug going around, I thought glumly.

  Pulling on the hair in my ponytail to make sure it was firmly in place, I slid onto the bench next to Na
te, causing him to jump slightly. When he looked up at me, I realized that he looked almost as pale as Karen had the day before. His cheeks were still bright red, but I suspected he could be frozen to death and his cheeks would remain naturally rosy. I wondered for a moment if perhaps Nate had gotten Karen sick, but thoughts like that didn’t get my job done, so I pushed them away to concentrate on what I was doing now.

  “Are you Nate?” I asked sweetly, letting an innocent smile play on my lips. He paid absolutely no attention to my full lips as some boys did when I talked to them, and I was instantly reminded that this was going to be a difficult job.

  “Yeah, I am . . . why?” It didn’t seem to be enough of a happy occurrence that a pretty girl was sitting with him; he was apparently the questioning type and needed a reason for this phenomenon.

  “I’m a friend of Karen’s,” I said, my voice still oozing with honey. This got a reaction out of him, and he instantly straightened up and scooted closer to me, looking into my eyes intently.

  “Is she all right?” he asked quickly, an urgency in his voice that I found touching. I was a bit puzzled by this reaction but responded to it with perfect cordiality.

  “Oh, yes, she’s fine. She’s just feeling a bit under the weather.” I gave him a winning smile that was a mixture of sympathy for my supposed best friend and allure for him. He didn’t react to it in the slightest.

  “Oh, good,” he breathed, obvious relief lining his voice.

  “I, on the other hand,” I said as I scooted closer to him, “am all alone today. I was supposed to sit with Karen since it’s my first day at school and everything, but she’s sick, so I don’t know a single person here.” I batted my eyelashes at him a bit, and he cleared his throat and scooted away. At least I was making him nervous, that much was evident.

  “Well, I’ll be here at break and lunch if you need someone to sit with, but if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to my first class. Can you find yours all right?” All of this was said with such a polite concern that I couldn’t lie to the boy, so I simply nodded my head and watched him walk away. I checked my watch once more and saw that there were only two minutes until the bell rang. Letting out a deep sigh, I threw the apple back into my backpack and stood up, only to have hands circle my waist from behind to rest lightly on my stomach. I turned my head with a shocked look of confusion to find David resting his chin on my shoulder.

  “That didn’t seem to go well,” he remarked without any malice. There was only mild interest in his voice. He may not like my line of work, but at least he liked me enough to know when he shouldn’t tease me too much.

  “Not at all,” I answered as I tilted my head to the side so that our cheeks were touching. I knew I shouldn’t be so close to David when I was in character to break someone up, but I knew Nate would be halfway to his first class right now anyway, so I didn’t see much point in enforcing that rule.

  “Well,” David began, gearing up for what sounded like the beginnings of a pep talk, “after what you told me yesterday, I think your best bet for this one might just be to tell him the truth. I mean, you may be the most beautiful girl ever, but that boy’s got it bad. He’s not going to take any bait you put out there.” This all made sense, but the one thing David didn’t understand was that I couldn’t tell him the truth because Karen had told me not to.

  “What if I’m not allowed to?” I asked, wondering what he might have to say to that little detail.

  “I think Karen should be grateful to you for getting the job done, so I don’t think she should be able to put too many stipulations on exactly how it’s done. This really is probably the only way to complete this assignment so I can finally have you all to myself.” He kissed my cheek lightly after saying this, pulling me closer to him. I placed my hands on top of his where they rested on my stomach and I closed my eyes. I felt so comfortable and safe with him there. It was such a weird feeling to have after only knowing him for a short time. I hoped beyond everything that jumping into this relationship so fast wouldn’t come back to bite me in the butt later.

  “I guess that’s my only option,” I agreed quietly.

  When the bell rang, David and I went our separate ways, fully aware that we wouldn’t be able to see each other for the rest of the day. After psychology I sought Nate out and found him just where he had said he’d be. I was afraid that after our interaction that morning, he would have found somewhere to hide from me until Karen came back to school the next day, so I was slightly shocked to see he’d kept his word. Then again, Nate just seemed to be that kind of guy—the kind who kept his word.

  I slid into the spot next to him, yet again, and startled him, yet again. He looked up at me with what I thought looked like exasperation. “Hi,” he said, his eyes returning to the book in front of him. I looked down at the title written across the top of each page and almost laughed when I read Romeo and Juliet. I had to quickly compose myself and put on a neutral face.

  “English class,” he said, following my gaze to the source of my amusement. Those two words were all I needed to jump right in to my job.

  “So I’ve been hanging out with Karen for a while now,” I started, gauging his reaction, which was absolutely unreadable. He didn’t even look up from his book to talk to me, so I pushed on. “She’s so much fun to hang out with.” I looked at him once more and got nothing. It was like talking to a brick wall. If I hadn’t seen him act so lively with Karen only the day before, I would have wondered what she saw in this guy. If he were like this with her, it would be like having a relationship with a teapot or a loaf of bread.

  The only way to get this job done, apparently, would be to just drop my normal lines without waiting for his reactions and just see where to go from there. “So since we’ve been hanging out so much she’s really started thinking about how much she likes to just be one of the girls.” Still absolutely no reaction from Nate. “She’s kind of realized that she’d like some freedom in her life . . . you know . . . not being tied down and all?” I wasn’t really doing a good job at cushioning the blow, but it wasn’t my fault. This guy was so head over heels for Karen that he wouldn’t respond if a supermodel came and flirted with him. Not that I was comparing myself to a supermodel.

  “So, I’m really sorry . . . I guess this is my fault for giving her a taste of single life, but she wants to break up with you,” I finally said, his lack of reaction making me bold enough to just come right out and say it. I suppose I thought maybe he wouldn’t react to that either and I’d have completed my job with no verbal backlash from the dumpee. I was wrong, of course, but not in the way I expected to be wrong.

  “She doesn’t want to break up with me,” he said simply, his eyes still trained on the page in front of him. I wondered if he was actually reading the play or just keeping it there so that he wouldn’t have to look at me.

  “Yes, she does,” I said, almost defensively, as if he were calling me a liar by not believing me.

  “No, she doesn’t,” he countered. His voice was still neutral, like he was telling me that the capital of California was Sacramento. Finally, after a long silence of my confusion and his stubborn insistence, he looked up from the book. “Who are you really?” he asked, with a resigned curiosity.

  “I told you, I’m Karen’s friend,” I repeated. He shook his head at this but kept his eyes trained on mine.

  “I’ve known Karen her whole life. We’ve been friends since we could talk. She only has a small handful of friends and most of them are homeschooled.” My mouth hung open slightly from his completely out of the blue response. I hadn’t expected him to know her so well, but then again, I had to remind myself that I wasn’t dealing with a normal high school relationship. “So who are you?” he asked again.

  “Amelia,” I answered, though that didn’t really answer his question.

  “And she sent you to try to break up with me because she didn’t want to do it herself?” he asked. This boy really was more astute than I gave him credit for. I nodded d
umbly, wondering what I was supposed to do now. I felt like a spy whose identity had just been compromised, except I didn’t exactly have the option of setting off a smoke bomb to make my great escape.

  Nate closed the book that lay on the table in front of him. “Listen, Amelia. I know you think you’re helping her out, but you’re really not. Karen’s mom is just overprotective of her because of her condition.” He looked at me, searching my face for some scrap of understanding to see how much I actually knew about Karen.

  “Condition?” I repeated with my brows drawn together in confusion.

  “When she was little she got scarlet fever and it left her with a weak immune system. Now the smallest bug going around makes her sick. It was a battle just for her mom to let her go to a public school, so a boyfriend has always been completely out of the question.” He kept his eyes trained on mine as though he were willing himself to be strong and continue on with the story of a life I was oblivious to. “As you can imagine, her mom is a little wary of Karen kissing boys or holding hands when she needs to be kept away from any germs. We’ve always been really careful, though. If I get even the smallest cold, I won’t even come to school since we have a lot of the same classes. I wash my hands every five seconds when I’m around her, and we only kiss if we’re both completely healthy.”

  His words were so heartfelt and concerned that I couldn’t believe I’d actually set out to break them up. The fact that Nate was willing to risk a normal life just to be around Karen was almost too much for me to comprehend.

  “She thinks she needs to break up with me because of her mom, but I know that if her mom knew how careful we were, she wouldn’t object to our relationship. Karen’s being unreasonable, though. She’s terrified that if I ask, her mom will take her out of public school and she’ll never see me.” Now Nate looked down, the weight of the situation clearly on his shoulders. “I don’t know what to do,” he concluded quietly. I bit my lip and looked down also. What could he do? I didn’t know Karen well, but maybe since she’d trusted me with the disposal of a relationship she was so fully invested in, she would trust my advice to let Nate talk with her mother.