The Brave Mortal's Guide to Ghost Hunting

by Alex Matsuo

  I don't believe these companies have bad intentions for these services. I know that the need to create an entertaining environment is crucial to any business in order to survive. Sometimes that means fabricating experiences or embellishing a boring story into a thrilling tale that will send shivers up their patrons' spines. However, this dehumanization has become widespread. Ironically, I've noticed that many of these once active haunted locations have seen a decrease in activity. I wouldn't be surprised if these ghosts, these people, have had enough of being asked ridiculous questions, the provocation, or just the overall disrespect by ghost hunters and have decided to no longer respond. Maybe they think that if they ignore ghost hunters, perhaps they'll stop coming around. If there is one thing that I want you to take away from this book, it's this: Ghosts are people too. It seems trivial and perhaps a bit redundant to bring this up. However, I find that this one of the most forgotten concepts in ghost hunting.

  These people were once living and breathing humans who lived a life just as dynamically as you're living yours right now. We all have stories to tell, and we're currently living a life where details will eventually be forgotten, and our stories will be passed down throughout the generations. That is until we're forgotten. I've found that even researching a location where it was active in just the last fifty years can be troublesome to research. Before we were able to digitize records, they were vulnerable to be lost from flooding, fires, and human error. This doesn't mean that research is impossible, and this will be discussed later in the book.

  It may sound like I'm on a soapbox, and perhaps I am. Ghosts are those who take on a different form that doesn't involve flesh. They are still very real with emotions and reactions. They had stories and life experiences just as real as yours. If you believe in an afterlife, think about how you would want to be treated. These ghosts were husbands, wives, friends, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, cousins, and so on. They had families, personalities, likes, and dislikes. To sum it up, they had the human experience. You are currently living IN that human experience, while ghosts are in that stage where they are looking back and remembering how they lived their life.

  This is why I have major issues when paranormal investigators and psychics attempt to contact someone recently deceased. We're talking as recently as a death certificate that hasn't even been signed yet. Ultimately, I'll not only advocate for the dead, but for the grieving as well. When Lorraine Warren passed away in 2019, it didn't take long for people to attempt to contact her ghost.

  The first red flag with this was that anyone who knew Lorraine knew that she wouldn't have approved of this. The next one was the fact that her family found this disrespectful, and many people did this anyway, believing that this was what Lorraine wanted. The next red flag was the fact that Lorraine's family attested that she contacted them, which I do believe. So, why would she go outside of her own morals and beliefs and contact a perfect stranger through a broken radio? Finally, those who were taking advantage of Lorraine's passing turned on their monetization mode, meaning they were getting money for every view and click the world gave them.

  Again, this goes under the category of treating the deceased with disrespect, especially celebrities. Just because a celebrity has passed, they do not owe us a visit just because they had adoring fans. This was what I find most disturbing with the trend of contacting dead celebrities. When people request this, it seems they have completely forgotten that there is a grieving family that doesn't want their loved one exploited. These celebrities do not deserve to be treated as entertainment as they are crossing over to the other side.

  Of course, not every life that was lived was a positive, or even stable, one. They may have had to deal with a disability, a physical injury, illness, mental illness, volatile family, poor life decisions... the list goes on. We have to approach an investigation with these negative possibilities in mind. If we come on too aggressively, then we risk causing the ghost to build a wall around themselves, the same way we do when we want to protect ourselves. If you have ever spoken to someone with anxiety, or you have anxiety yourself, social situations can be incredibly stressful. I can't imagine how the ghosts at the popular locations feel when they have people coming in every day of the year trying to talk to them. Plus, they're probably hearing the same questions over and over again too. My belief is that ghosts will respond like living humans in different situations. Humanity still exists after the physical body is long gone.

  I often find that the practice of mainstream ghost hunting, especially one that is sometimes seen on television, can disrespect a ghost's humanity. When there is a living person in the room trying to establish communication, all of a sudden, the living person is the dominant one, and the ghost is seen as the unseen entity with no humanity. The process turns spirits into circus animals who are expected to perform on cue. Perhaps it is because they aren't seen? Regardless of the ghost, we have to keep in mind where we are talking to actual people. When you're figuring out how to communicate with a ghost, you must switch the scenario around and ask yourself how you would want to be addressed. If you're going to be asking sensitive questions regarding assault, past history, and other sensitive issues, I recommend you ask permission to ask these sorts of questions. If you aren't able to hear the response, you can start off with the apology, such as "I'm so sorry to ask you this, and don't feel obligated to respond..." Some people may see this as passive and not being assertive in your line of questioning. However, this is not a police interrogation. These ghosts are not obligated nor required to respond to us. Even if you paid over one hundred dollars to ghost hunt in a certain location, it does NOT guarantee that you will be engaging with ghosts.

  One of the things that bother me most is when investigators invalidate a ghost's feelings. Particularly statements like, "There's no reason to not talk to us," "There's no reason to be afraid of us," "Not talking to us is just silly," or "Don't be a jerk and not answer." (Yes, I have heard these statements used during an investigation.) Someone reading this may be one of the guilty parties. I'm not going to backpedal and say, "Oh, this isn't about you." It likely is. How would you feel if you were stuck in a room with strangers, they are holding devices that look strange to you, you have no idea who they are or why they're there, and they say, "There's no reason to be scared." I've even heard, "You did this last time, why can't you do it today?" Or, "I bet you're not man enough to speak."

  How would this make you feel? For one, it invalidates any sort of fear or concern you have. Also, it reminds me of a statement that was used by someone in a position of power who wants to use intimidation to get what they want. It reminds me of gas-lighting a bit, which is an issue all of its own. Furthermore, when I have witnessed ghost hunters using these terms, the responses they get are not welcoming or receptive. Usually, the response is some sort of cussing or telling the ghost hunter to "get out."

  Speaking of "Get out," let's talk about this statement. Why would a ghost say that? Some people will default to the ghost being a negative presence, evil, or aggressive. In my experience, though, the ghost hunter said something to tick the ghost off. Or, the ghost hunter had invaded their space with little sensitivity or consideration. When someone aggressively approaches you, whether it's a physical presence or verbal communication, you might be thinking about saying, "Get out" or other variations of the phrase.

  I don't think ghost hunters mean any harm when they use these statements. For some ghost hunters, the whole point of doing this is to find proof of the afterlife. For others, they want to communicate with the unknown and try to find some answers. When we're so focused on a particular goal, sometimes we forget who we're talking to. Because we don't see ghosts, and oftentimes don't feel them, we forget that emotions are part of the process. If you could see the ghost's face and be able to see them respond, how would this change the way that you try to communicate with them? I have a feeling there will be a lot more consideration taken. Just because we can't see them, it doesn't mean that they s
till don't emotionally respond to our words.

  Keep in mind that I'm not trying to say that you should be walking on eggshells every time you go out ghost hunting. What I am imploring you to keep in mind is that you are talking to a human. In rare instances, you may be talking to an inhuman entity, but you still need to address them with respect. Being respectful doesn't always mean you have to be sweet and nice. However, we should acknowledge, on some level, that the other being has value, history and a will of its own. People are generally civil around someone we are not familiar with or feel intimidated by. Addressing a ghost like a human being, specifically like someone you're meeting for the first time, can make all the difference in the world.

  I have found that ghost hunters get more responses during their side conversations with each other. They are demonstrating a very human experience that the ghost participated in while they were alive. During side conversations, we often welcome the ghost to participate and ask what they think about our topic. Often, we will get a response, such as a knock, something on our audio recorder, something seen in video, or some other manifestation to let us know they're there and they are listening.

  Also, I don't like to talk about a person as if they aren't there. When I was a teacher and interacted with parents, I tried my best to include the student in the conversation if they were in the room. The same can go for ghosts. Ghost tours aside, talking about a ghost as if they weren't there can also be dehumanizing. They might be sitting in the room, waving their hands, and perhaps feeling like they aren't being listened to. When I can, I'll try to include the ghost in the conversation. I'll ask them what they think about the stories being told about them, and that will often bring up a response.

  This goes back to the idea of giving the ghost that human experience, which will make them more comfortable and willing to respond.

  I have even had times dealing with ghosts who have mental handicaps. This turns into a potentially complex scenario because we don't know if these disabilities cross over with the person to the other side. I'll elaborate more about this later in the book when it comes to reading the room. I'm not saying that you need to get a degree in psychology or some other area in the medical field, but I suggest doing some research and having a working knowledge of disabilities. Especially if you’re communicating with a ghost from over a century ago, you need to remember that they didn't have the education or awareness of disabilities that we have today. This ghost probably isn't used to having someone speak with them with an understanding of what they went through in life. I had one particular experience that stands out to me that perfectly illustrates this.

  We were at Person's Ordinary in Littleton, North Carolina when we heard that there was a young man, perhaps a preteen or early teen, haunting the front room of the Ordinary. The location was used as a rest stop for travelers in the mid-to-late 18th century, and the young man was believed to be the person charged with feeding the visitors’ horses and cleaning their hooves. When we were trying to establish communication, we found that if we were in the front room, we were getting nothing. But when we moved to the parlor one room over, he was more willing to communicate. But even then, he wasn't responding to the "typical ghost hunter" line of questioning. I was fortunate to have my medium Amy with me. Based on what she was saying about how the boy was feeling and responding, I wondered if we were communicating with someone on the spectrum. I asked Amy if this was the case, and she said yes. I didn't know how high-functioning he was. We decided to go with kindness, a slower pace, and a lot of patience. When Amy mentioned that he enjoyed drawing and he was talented with this, we changed the subject and talked about art. At that point in my career, I had never seen the REM-POD respond, but it went off with the stable boy...several times. When we went back to the front room, the responses stopped, which I interpreted as the young man telling me he was uncomfortable. I went back into the parlor and asked his permission to take a step forward. We established that if the REM-POD went off, I could take a step inside. This turned out to be effective in terms of evidence collecting. I never did make it all the way into the room, but I saw something truly incredible that I hadn't seen before. Communicating with this young man was the perfect example of letting the ghost take the reins (pardon the pun) and go with their pacing. Had we been aggressive and just went into the room and demanded responses so we could get them on audio and video, we would have never had the conversation about art and the glimpses of this man's life.

  I understand why ghost hunters take an aggressive approach in their communication practices, including making demands, saying things to invalidate the ghost's feelings, etc. They are trying to get a response. I don't think they have any ill-will with this. Communication in this way has been done for decades, and it has worked when it comes to getting responses. However, it has also set a precedent for how we perceive ghosts. Personally, I don't want to remove humanity from the communication. Most ghosts yearn to feel human again and talking to them as such gives them a feeling of being alive once again.

  CHAPTER FOUR:

  THEORIES of hauntings

  Theories in the paranormal are some of the most debated topics in the community. Since we don't have anything really tangible to study in the field, and most of our source material is eyewitness testimony and personal experiences, our conclusions are all subjective. Many folks have tried to make sense of all of the information and created their own theories on how it all works. I don't know what happens, or what the rules are after we pass. Are we lost in a fog, endlessly searching for someone to connect to? Or are we completely aware of our surroundings, but the living can't see or acknowledge us?

  What if, after we die, there are other ghosts who exist around us, but we aren't able to see them either? The thought of this is truly terrifying. As we are social creatures, spending an eternal afterlife alone could be hell. Even the most introverted person, eventually, the silence and loneliness will eat away at the soul.

  Since we can’t really know what spirits experience, I don’t think I can tell you what framework to use. I suggest you research as many theories as you can, and then decide what explanations and descriptions resonate with you. But also know that you don't have to align yourself with any single belief of theory. For me, I like to know what other people are talking about so that I have something to draw from when I'm trying to put my experiences into a context.

  Parallel and Alternate Universes...and Multiverses

  I find this theory to be a lot of fun because it completely removes ghosts and hauntings from the equation. We don’t have much solid information since this is a theory still being researched in the scientific community. For the sake of this book and my own sanity, I'm going to keep this at a high level as much as possible.

  Many people believe that instead of communicating with someone who is deceased, we are actually interacting with beings from another universe. You may have also heard that theories of alternate universes include the idea that alternate universes include other versions of ourselves. If that’s the case, we have to ask, when we are dealing with a parallel universe, are we talking to an alternate version of ourselves, or to strangers who are able, for some reason, to communicate with us.

  And while we are on the topic of scientific theory and alternate universes, we also have to ask ourselves the question of time. In our current culture, we are taught that time is linear and that events unfold in order. But what if this isn’t true? What if time isn't actually linear, and when we communicate with what we think of as “the other side,” we are actually talking to someone from history in their own time period? Personally, I'm not on board with this theory because if people from the past were really communicating with us, we would see evidence of it in historical documentation.

  It's All in Our Head

  I touched on this in chapter one with the different types of ghosts. We can interpret hauntings as "being in our head" a few different ways. We could all be hallucinating and dealing with psychological issues tha
t make us believe we are interacting and communicating with ghosts.

  We could be creating our own hauntings with our minds. When we perpetuate a local ghost story and investigate it, we are giving energy to that story and therefore, giving it more life. If this is indeed the case, then it's a testament to how amazing and incredible the human brain can truly be.

  Everything is a Demon

  The “Everything is a Demon” theory is very much borne of religious context in the Christian circle. Based on Biblical texts that state that ghosts aren't real and are in fact demons masquerading as our departed loved ones, I find this theory to be the least likely. I can only speak from my personal experience with a few cases that may have been demonic or some other negative entity.

  I will say that negative activity has a different feeling. I can only describe it as heaviness on the chest, tension in the shoulders, and even a slight feeling of nausea. Your primal instincts kick in where you feel like something is wrong, you're in danger, and your anxiety might be elevated. As experienced investigators, we can identify this as different from our basic fear and nervousness in a case. Given how long I've been doing this, I tend to turn off my feelings as much as I can because I want to be neutral and be able to assess an environment as objectively as I can. Often, this means I'm devoid of emotion, almost like a wildflower. I learned this from practice after doing residential cases in order to be calm and collected for our clients.