Wanted

by Annika James

  I nodded, a bubble of anger formed in the pit of my stomach, churning outward. “Is this how it’s going to be all the time when I’m a familiar?” I looked between Matt and Conor, glaring. “Will you guys make all my decisions for me?” I turned to Cora with a sigh. “I’m starting to think the running away option is sounding good.”

  Her eyes widened in alarm and focused over my shoulder at Conor. He grabbed my hand, forcing me to turn my attention to him.

  “Ash, you can’t think of leaving. Really.” His eyes bore into me, almost imploring.

  Matt had the same look, mouth drawn into a tight line, eyebrows so furrowed, his eyes almost disappeared beneath the ridge of his brow. “Ash, you’ll get hurt. Don’t run. We’ll…” He looked to Conor, who still had my hand, and then back to me, eyes pleading. “We’ll do better, okay? Talk to you first about everything. Just…don’t run.” He looked back at Conor, who was nodding gravely. Jeez, what was with the funeral faces?

  I sighed, the bubble of anger dissipating slowly. “I’m not going anywhere, Matt. I just…” I shook my head, taking my hand back from Conor. “I didn’t want any of this. I don’t want all these random guys hitting on me. And I don’t want you two making decisions for me. I can…I can pretend to date Conor this week, fine, until I decide…whatever. But my life is my own, my decisions are mine to make.”

  Conor nodded in agreement. “Okay. Promise we’ll talk to you about any major decisions.”

  “Told you she’d get mad.” Matt pointed a finger at Conor.

  Conor arched an eyebrow. “Yes. You know her better than I do, something I hope to reconcile soon.” He turned to me, eyes warm.

  I blushed, butterflies taking off in my stomach. He was freaking gorgeous and I was pretend dating him. “Do people actually believe we’re dating?” I asked, incredulity apparent in my voice.

  Conor’s brows drew together. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t they?”

  My hands fluttered. “You know. I mean, Friday night you were dating Victoria and today you’re suddenly with me. Not very logical.”

  Matt made a sound. “It is if he bit you Saturday and decided he liked you. And please don’t get me started on comparing you and Victoria because you would so lose that argument.”

  I chose to ignore Matt’s innuendo about my appeal. I swallowed a nervous giggle, cheeks warming. Matt was telling me I was attractive. Did not want to go there. “So people think you bit me?” I shifted my attention to Conor, who picked at his food.

  Conor looked up and cleared his throat. “Ah. Yeah. Sorry.”

  I nodded, face still flaming. “It’s okay, I guess. Whatever keeps those random guys away. That was just…weird.”

  I would just have to make it through this week, pretending to be dating Conor, getting to know him, and deciding who I wanted to spend the next couple hundred years getting protected by: Matt or Conor.

  After we finished, Matt and Steven left us at my locker. “I’ll see you next hour, Ash.” Steven gave Cora a kiss before jogging to catch up with Matt.

  Conor leaned on the locker next to mine while I dug out books. Cora busied herself in her locker, not paying any attention to us. I shut my door and made to walk away with Cora. Conor leaned in like he was going to kiss me.

  Panicking, I drew back slightly. “You don’t have to kiss me. We can pretend to date at school without kissing.”

  I didn’t want him kissing me because he was just trying to convince everyone we were together, or because it was obligatory for him.

  He grinned wickedly and leaned all the way in, putting his lips softly on mine. I exhaled. Goddess, this boy felt like mine. Our bodies touched only at the lips, yet it felt like he was wrapped around me, enveloping me, inside me, touching my soul. He pulled back, finally, eyes twinkling.

  “But I want to,” he said softly.

  I focused on breathing and swatted at him playfully. “Don’t think I’m picking you just because you can kiss.”

  He gave me that crooked grin and started walking backward. “Hey, any benefits for my side I’m taking advantage of.” He winked and turned. I watched him walk away without breathing.

  Cora laid a hand on my shoulder. “How about all that for confusing as shit?” I didn’t disagree.

  We started toward class, my body humming from the kiss. “Yeah. We’re pretending to date, but he has no problem kissing me. Yet, last night he said he wanted to work on being friends.” We both digested for a moment.

  “Cora, do you think he’s doing whatever it takes to make me pick him?” My stomach was suddenly lodged somewhere around my throat. “I mean, what if he’s kissing me so I’ll pick him and then when I do, he ends up using me and not really liking me?”

  Cora’s mouth tightened. “I don’t know, honey. You’re going to have to figure him out, or pick Matt.”

  I sighed as we arrived at class. “Yeah, that’s not complicated or anything.”

  Chapter Eight

  The boys left me alone for the remainder of the day. Except for Tre, who showed up at my locker before last period. “Hey, Ash. So, can I get your digits?”

  I hated how he acted so familiar with me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I closed my locker and started down the hall. He kept up right beside me.

  “Why? Because you’re dating Conor? I just want to be friends. You know? Get to know you.” He tried a winsome smile.

  I wasn’t persuaded. “Sorry, Tre. I just don’t think so.” I paused at the doorway to my class and gave him a peace offering. “But you can talk to me here at school.”

  His eyes narrowed. “So you’ve picked Conor already? You really think he can protect you? I’m stronger. If I wanted you, he couldn’t stop me, Ashlinn. No one could.”

  He closed the distance between us, practically smothering me. Every nerve ending was screaming at me to run, but I couldn’t move. The way he looked at me, like I was prey, the cocky half-grin he quirked at me, the faked familiarity he spoke to me with, all added up to Tre thoroughly creeping me out. He wouldn’t really do anything in the middle of the hallway, would he?

  He looked down at me, icy eyes burning, voice low. “And I want you, Ashlinn. I want you for my own. Who’s going to protect you from me?” His lips twisted into a malicious grin with his last words.

  I felt like a trapped rabbit, wide-eyed and shaking. Where was my power to fling things across the room? My mouth was glued shut; I wouldn’t have known what to say anyway.

  A strong, calm presence filled the space behind me. “I will.”

  Matt’s solid hand on my shoulder comforted me. I leaned gratefully into him, his warmth calming me.

  Tre’s face registered shock. “Finley? I thought she was Conor’s.” Crap. Had he already seen through the ruse? The story that Conor had bitten me was supposed to protect me.

  “They’re dating, but I’m her friend. I protect her and I will until she chooses someone else. I’ll protect her from you if I have to. She said no. Get the message.” Matt’s voice was firm.

  Tre wasn’t stupid, though, and I could practically see the gears turning. “Conor hasn’t made her his yet. She’s fair game. If he’d bitten her, she’d be his to protect from other vamps, not yours. I doubt she’d let you bite her.” Tre smiled, teeth gleaming in the fluorescent lights. I couldn’t help but imagine two of those teeth elongating into fangs and piercing my skin. The trembling started in my fingertips and soon my shoulders were shaking.

  Matt pulled me closer to him. “Tre. Back. The. Fuck. Off.” Matt’s voice dipped low, almost a growl.

  Tre was not daunted and chuckled before turning down the hallway. “See you later, Ashlinn,” he called over his shoulder.

  When he was out of sight, Matt relaxed with another swearword. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” My hands were finally still, the fear leaving my body as Tre walked away. “What was all that?”

  He stared over my head. “A big, fucking complication,” he muttered. Wow, Matt with the potty-mouth.
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  I turned to see what he looked at. Conor stood a little way down the hall, staring at us. Conor nodded before ducking into a classroom.

  My heart sped up. “Matt, what’s up?”

  He swore again and looked at me. “Dating Conor isn’t enough now. Until someone bites and claims you, guys like Tre will try to do it themselves. And not all of them will ask first.”

  I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing for a moment, my earlier fear returning. “But… But, they can’t.”

  The bell rang, signaling our tardiness. I really didn’t think I could handle class now. I hesitated, watching Matt think.

  He pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows at me. “Wanna get out of here?”

  I nodded. “Yes, please.” For the first time in my life, I skipped class.

  * * * *

  At Matt’s house, I tossed my book bag in a corner and flopped onto a beanbag chair. Matt sat at his desk, running his hands through his hair, clearly thinking. I stared at his ceiling, this scene so familiar. I hadn’t been here in weeks. Had we really been drifting apart that much?

  “You guys let everyone believe Conor had bitten me because that would be the first step toward becoming a familiar?” Curiosity drove me to ask questions I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers to.

  Matt nodded. “One bite puts a kind of claim on you for a limited time. If anyone else were to bite you, Conor would be in his rights to defend his property, so to speak. Defend by any means necessary.” Matt’s soft voice belied the seriousness of his words. “Now Tre’s probably going to let it out that you’re unbitten, so basically the first vamp to bite you will have a claim on you to make you their familiar.”

  I shuddered. “Gross. I feel like food.”

  “I’m so sorry about all this. I…” He looked away briefly, squared his shoulders, and met my gaze. “I think you should let Conor bite you. It will be safer for you.” The resigned look in his blue eyes twisted my heart.

  “You’re stronger,” I stated, repeating his words to Tre.

  “Yeah. Except, you don’t want me.”

  I stood. “Matt.”

  He looked at me. He really was good-looking. I could see what Cora had been talking about. He was built: tall and strong, athletic. There was a scar on his chin, just under his full lower lip, from where he’d fallen off his skateboard when we were in eighth grade. He’d needed stitches. I remembered being so afraid, seeing all his blood. My mom let me go to the hospital with him and his parents so I would know he was okay. The scar reminded me that even though vampires were immortal, they could still get hurt. I didn’t want to be the one to hurt Matt, but fear drove me to speak.

  “You do it,” I whispered.

  He sat up like a rocket, his back rigid. “What?”

  I kneeled in front of him and tilted my head to the side. “It’ll keep me safe until I make my final decision, right? Just do it. You’ve always protected me, you are my protector. I can’t deal with more scenes with Tre like that. Do it, Matt.”

  I did not want to be accosted at school all the time. I did not want to be bitten against my will, not again. If Matt bit me now, he would have a claim on me until I could decide whose familiar I wanted to be. That would keep me safe at school until the big deed was done. Maybe getting a consensual bite out of the way would make it easier to become someone’s familiar. The whole act of being a familiar required a regular sharing of blood back and forth. This bite would be a first step toward that.

  Matt stood abruptly, his rolling chair shooting out behind him. He backed away from me like I was diseased. “Ash, you don’t know what you’re asking.”

  I followed him. Vaguely, I knew asking him was unfair, basically the same thing as using my best friend. But. “I do. I…I just want to feel safe. I don’t know what Conor really wants. You, though, I know.”

  Somewhere deep inside my head, I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly, but it all made sense on the surface.

  He gave a bark of laughter, raising an eyebrow. “Ashlinn, I…it would be more than a friendly bite. It would feel…more intimate. That’s what getting bitten feels like, when you say yes. You don’t feel that way about me. I know that, and frankly, I don’t need the extra pain right now.”

  Cold reality washed over me, numbing my senses. Oh, Goddess. I was hurting him. Asking him to bite me now was like Conor kissing me just to fool everyone around us. One person in the exchange wanted and relished it and the other was just doing it because it needed to be done. My stomach churned at my actions.

  Deflated, I walked back to the beanbag and sat, face on fire with shame. I buried it in my hands. “Matt, I’m so sorry.” I raised my head.

  He relaxed, pulled the chair back to the desk, and sat down, facing me.

  “I’m just scared, confused,” I continued. “You’re the only person I can really count on right now. I don’t want to hurt you.” I shook my head.

  “I know you don’t. I also know…you don’t feel the same way I do. I’ve known for months. I just thought if you picked me…but I’m just fooling both of us.” He gave a wry smile.

  “Months? When did you decide you liked me more than a friend?” I couldn’t believe we were really discussing this.

  “Probably around the same time you discovered Conor. It was weird, like as soon as you found a guy to like, I got all territorial. I knew you’d never look at me that way, though, so I tried to separate from you a little. But…” He paused, his eyes raking over my face. I held my breath while he exhaled sharply. “You need me. Not in the way I thought I needed you, so I’m here. I will be here, however you need me. I just don’t think I can bite you without it feeling…sexual.” He blushed and looked away.

  Yikes! “Matty, I’m sorry. I wish I felt that way. You’re my rock, my big brother. I don’t want to hurt you if I pick you. I’m so confused.” I put my head in my hands again, groaning.

  “I know. That’s why Conor was my first choice for you. He screwed that all up. I knew you needed someone, though. So I volunteered. Yes, it would be…hard to be so close to you and not be able to…be with you.”

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, cutting off more apologies. I looked at the text. “Cora’s wondering where I am.” I smiled. “I’ve never skipped school before.”

  His lips twitched. “I know.”

  After reassuring Cora I had not been abducted, I walked to him. “Thank you. For being so honest. For everything.”

  He stood and wrapped me up in his arms. I tried to see if there was something more to Matt in that hug, instead he was just safe, warm, and totally comfortable. He kissed the top of my head and I sighed.

  I pulled back. “You’ll still be here, right? No matter what happens?”

  He nodded. “Always.”

  I smiled, relieved. Was I being selfish? Probably. “Matty, if there’s anything I can do for you…”

  He put a hand to my cheek. “I know,” he said, before he rolled his eyes and gave me a goofy grin, pulling away. “Besides, I can’t bite you. You’re dating Conor.” He turned his back to me to fiddle with the MP3 player on his desk. Rock music played softly in the background.

  “We’re not really dating. It’s just for your story.”

  He turned with a raised eyebrow. “Please. Your dream guy wants you. You’re not dating?”

  I shook my head. “Last night he said he wanted a chance to get to know me, to be friends. He never mentioned dating for real. At least I don’t think. He’s got me so confused.”

  Yet, the kiss from earlier in the day still burned my lips. Such a small kiss, but my body reacted as though on fire, craving more. What did that boy want from me, anyway?

  I settled back on the beanbag. “Besides, how do I know he’s not just another Tre? You know, taking advantage of the fact I like him so I’ll pick him?”

  Matt gave an exasperated sound as he took books out of his book bag and set them on his desk. “You’re going to have to start trusting somebody, Ash.”

  “
I trust you,” I said stubbornly.

  He shook his head. “I’m taking myself out of the equation. I’ll only do it if you decide you really, really don’t want Conor. Somehow, I doubt that will happen.” He texted on his phone before piercing me with a sharp, blue gaze. “Conor’s for real. To be honest, he’s been asking me about you for weeks. I’ve been holding back.” His cheeks reddened a little.

  I sat up straight, the beanbag shifting beneath me. “Weeks?” I squeaked.

  Matt nodded sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry. I just…didn’t want to give you up.”

  I couldn’t be mad at him right now. “What was he asking?”

  Matt opened his history book, shrugging. “Who you were, what you liked, that sort of thing. He said you were cute and…intriguing.”

  I warmed all over. Conor had been asking about me before he’d known I had power? That made me happy, happier than I wanted to admit. I smiled to myself, pondering this new discovery.

  The doorbell rang. Matt glanced at me before heading downstairs to get the door. When he came back, Conor was with him.

  I stood. “Hey,” I greeted him.

  He smiled. My knees melted.

  “Hey,” he said back. “Matt filled me in about Tre.”

  I nodded, brought back to the reality of the present. He stood before me, crowding my space. I stiffened, but didn’t move away. Point for me.

  “You okay?” His eyes narrowed in concern.

  I moved to Matt’s desk chair. “Yep. Peachy. Unbitten, unclaimed, wanted by many. It’s swell.”

  Matt cleared his throat, drawing our attention. “Bite her, Conor. Tonight. She’s not safe unbitten.” His voice sounded ragged, like the words were being dragged out of his throat.

  Though my heart wept for Matt, I kept my focus on Conor, gauging his reaction. His eyes widened as he turned to me. I lost my nerve, switching my gaze to Matt. I could see his inner struggle. I’d asked him to bite me and he wanted to. Yet, he knew I wanted Conor, so he offered me up. The problem was, I didn’t know if I fully trusted Conor yet.