A Famous Affair

by K. B. Mallion

  I smile. “You never made me unhappy, Jonny. I did that all by myself.”

  Jonny shuffles really close. “This is now our chance to be together, Jessica. No more sneaking around or lying to everyone, a fresh start,” he says.

  “Do you think we can?” I wonder aloud.

  “I know we can,” he assures me.

  I collect my thoughts. As wonderful as it is to have Jonny with me, they still remain a mass of confusion inside my weary brain. A painful thought pops into my overwhelmed mind, which I feel compelled to share. “Jonny, I can’t help but think this whole sorry mess is my punishment for everything I have done,” I quietly admit. He remains silent, quizzically looking at me. “Collapsing . . . the baby.” I add sadly.

  He shakes his head at my words, leaning against me. “When I first found out about you being here, I thought exactly the same thing. I blamed myself for everything but now I think our baby has brought us back together. I only wish the circumstances were different . . . believe me, I do. However, the truth of the matter is, I am only here because of what has happened to you and our baby. Now that I am here, we cannot blame ourselves. It is nobody’s fault, Jessica . . . it just happened.” He cups his hands around my doubting face, looking deep into my sorrowful eyes. “This is our time, no more looking over our shoulders. We have a chance of a happy future together if we both want it. I want you more than any other thing in this world . . . do you want me? Do you want us?” Jonny desperately asks.

  I smile. “Of course I want it, but I’m scared for our future,” I admit in a weak voice.

  “Why?” he asks.

  “Everything is such a mess. I know I love you, but there are so many things against us, Jonny.”

  “I honestly don’t care about any of that. All I care about is you. If you want me, you’ve got me.

  You had me from the second you nearly knocked me on my ass outside that lift. You are my life now, Jessica. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy, but what I can promise you is this . . . I will love you with a love like that of no other.” His eyes don’t leave mine. Those light suede spheres could make me believe in absolutely anything.

  “I don’t even know if I am able to have children now. Do you want children, Jonny?”

  He thinks for a moment. “I’ve never really thought about it. Right now, all I can think about is us. If, in the future we want to try for a baby, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. As long as I have you, Jessica. I will forever be, a happy man.”

  My worries still bombard me. I look down at my weak body. “You will probably think I am mad for saying this, but knowing I only have one fallopian tube makes me feel different, less womanly. And this scar . . . I’m not going to look the same to you,” I admit to Jonny. I am confused and ashamed at such shallow, irrational thoughts that infect my mind.

  I am just saying how I feel; it doesn’t necessarily have to make sense. “It’s completely selfish isn’t it, when I am so lucky to be alive?” I ask.

  “You are not being selfish, Jessica. What you are feeling is completely natural, I think. As for the scar, I think you are perfect the way you are. That scar will remind us of what we have, what we once created together. That scar is so we never forget our love or our child.” He rests his hand delicately on my abdomen. A grieving tear falls slowly down my cheek and Jonny catches it with his caressing thumb.

  The door suddenly opens and we see a flustered looking Beef carrying a big chair. “I had to go and find this one half-way across the bloody building!” When he looks over, he realises he has just interrupted some kind of moment. “I’m sorry . . . do you want me to give you both a minute?”

  Wiping my eyes, I smile at Beef. “No, not at all. Get yourself comfortable.” I tell him.

  Jonny sits up straight on the bed, leaving his hand upon my abdomen. Beef places the chair near the television, which brings another smile to my lips; once he has positioned the chair where he wants it, he approaches us.

  “I’m going to get some food now, do you want anything?”

  “Can you get us some sandwiches and some fresh juice please, Beef? Oh, and some fruit. I need to build up my beautiful girl.” Jonny kisses my hand.

  “They will feed me in here, you know?” I laugh.

  As Beef walks out, a young, petite nurse walks in. She notices Jonny as she comes towards the bed. Her eyes widen in disbelief then she shyly smiles, her professional composure crumbling before my very eyes. Nervously, she readies the tympanic thermometer in her shaky hands.

  “I’m just going to check your blood pressure, temperature and your blood oxygen levels, Mrs. Neel,” she rambles. She puts the thermometer into my ear. When it beeps she takes it out, reads it and writes something down onto my chart; all the while trying really hard not to look at Jonny. Then she brings the digital blood pressure monitor closer. Jonny steps to the side to let her through. She coyly smiles at him; her cheeks flush as she cautiously brushes past him. Again, she takes a note of my blood pressure result. Then, she nervously brings out the pulse oximeter, once again a quick blushing glance is thrown in Jonny’s direction. “I’m just popping this sensor onto your finger, Mrs. Neel, to check the oxygen in your blood.” I hold out my hand and straighten it. She looks up at Jonny who is watching everything the young nurse does with boyish intrigue. He is completely and utterly oblivious to the flirtatious and awkward glances he keeps getting from her.

  “Is everything okay?” Jonny asks with concerned interest.

  “It’s all looking great, Mr. Riley. Have you managed to go to the toilet yet, Mrs. Neel?” The flirty nurse looks at me.

  “Yes I have, thank you.”

  “Are you comfortable . . . no pain?”

  “I’m feeling much better.” I reply, smiling at Jonny.

  “I’ll leave this menu with you to fill out so you can choose what you are having for dinner tomorrow. Breakfast will be brought to you in the morning. If you need anything, my name is Sarah.” She looks at Jonny. I can’t help but smile to myself, knowing that was completely for his benefit, not mine.

  “When will the doctor be in to see Jessica as I would like to talk to him again?” Jonny asks.

  “Not until the morning, now.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Sarah.” Seeing your nurse swoon because Jonny Riley has just said her name; really is rather amusing.

  As she leaves the room, I take Jonny’s hand. “Does Jay know you are here?”

  Jonny smiles. “Yes, he does.”

  “And?” I ask nervously.

  “He’s waiting for the media fall-out, but he knew better than to argue with me over this.”

  “Jonny, you know the shit is seriously going to hit the biggest fan, don’t you?” I tell him, my worry evident.

  “I do and right now I don’t care. I spoke to the doctor earlier. I am hoping we can take you home tomorrow, but I need to check whether it will be safe to do so. Even if it means getting a nurse in to take care of you in London, I’ll do whatever it takes.” Jonny assures me.

  “I need to speak to Shawn and the girls first.”

  “You can do that from London, Jessica. As soon as you are better, you can come and see them. You’ve had surgery and you need time to heal.” I knew better than to argue. Jonny was right. I am weak and need time to recover from my surgery.

  I grin. “Is this you being dominant?”

  He smirks back at me. “For now!”

  “Do you think the girls will want to see me, Jonny? They came to see me earlier and it didn’t go well.”

  Jonny tries to look positive. “Lydia told me what happened. They have a lot to digest. They need to process everything, but I’m sure in time they will want to see you. You’ll always be their mother, Jessica.”

  I reach for him. “Are you sure you want to do this, Jonny? I am scared of what is going to happen.”

  “As long as we have each other nothing else matters. Being here is risky though, it’s only a matter of time before the press finds out we ar
e here,” Jonny says.

  “You mean that you are here!” I quickly answer back.

  “But they will want to know why I am here and you are the reason, Jessica. We have to get you back to London.” Jonny tells me firmly. I know he just wants to protect me and as wonderful as that feels. I know we both have many hurdles ahead of us.

  When Beef returns I try to eat, but I have no appetite. The sheer exhaustion of the day’s events heavily descends upon me . . . on us all. Beef quietly watches television whilst Jonny lies down beside me, stroking my face until I drift off to sleep.

  The next morning we are all woken up by Sarah, the flirty nursey. Her dainty frame breezes in as she quickly does my obs and removes the cannula from my sore hand, which has me attached to a now empty drip; all the while throwing those still amusing fluttery lashed looks at an oblivious, and tired Jonny.

  Beef has a big stretch in his uncomfortable looking chair before standing up. He smiles warmly at both Jonny and me.

  “I’m going to check whether there is anyone around. Then I’ll go and grab some coffees for us, Jonny. How are you feeling this morning, Jessica?”

  “Better than yesterday, Beef. Did you manage to get much sleep in that chair?”

  He shakes his head. “That’s a big no, I’m looking forward to my bed tonight, I can tell you.”

  “I bet you are.” I say with a small smile. He nods at Jonny before strolling out the room.

  Sarah puts away my notes. She awkwardly hovers around and it is beginning to annoy Jonny. “Is there anything else?” Jonny asks. He looks down crossly at Miss Flutter Lashes.

  “Um . . . sorry . . . Mr. Riley. I just thought you should know, a few patients’ relatives saw you in here yesterday and you know how things get round. Well, now there have been a couple of phone calls from the press trying to get information.”

  Jonny snaps a worried glance at me; his stern face softens just a little when he turns to talk to the still swooning nurse. “I appreciate you telling me, I really do. Could you do me a favour, please Sarah?”

  “Anything, Mr. Riley.” And she means literally anything!

  “Can you tell me if any press do arrive and could you find me a doctor to speak with, please? I want Mrs. Neel to leave here as soon as possible.”

  “I’ll try to get someone now,” Sarah says, quickly leaving the room.

  Jonny has his arms crossed; his right hand is rubbing his troubled forehead.

  “Don’t panic, Jonny. It will be okay.” I assure him.

  “I just want to get you home; they can do what they fucking like after that. Print whatever shitty story they want to, but I don’t want a load of journalists seeing you like this. You are weak and too exposed here. Anyone could walk in off the fucking street. As soon as we are home, I can relax.” I cannot help but smile at his hot-headedness.

  I see his demeanour soften. “What are you smiling at? I am stressing here, Dimples!”

  “You.”

  “Me? Why?” he innocently asks.

  “Well for one, how protective you are of me. And two, how you said home to me.”

  “It is your home now, Jessica.” I hold my hand out to him. I need to be in his arms and feel him beside me.

  “I love you, Jonny.”

  “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Jessica.” He kisses my lips with such sweet sincerity. I feel happy and loved, regardless of how shit things really are.

  After waiting for a doctor to arrive they agree to discharge me, on the condition I don’t overdo things. It is also agreed that a nurse will have to check and change my dressings. It was then that I realised I had nothing . . . no clean clothes . . . no coat . . . nothing except my mobile phone and handbag, which Shawn brought in with an unconscious me in the ambulance. I contact Lydia, who says she will kindly bring some clothes in for me. Half an hour later, she arrives with a hoodie, joggers and a black pashmina.

  “I came as quick as I could, darling. I thought you had better have some loose joggers because of your scar. The pashmina is for wrapping over your head to hide from any reporters and I’ve brought some sunglasses, too. I noticed a couple hanging around outside the hospital car park when I came in.” She hands me all the clothing.

  “Thanks for everything, Lydia. You know I’ll be back at work as soon as I can, don’t you?”

  She abruptly holds her hand up. “Hey, you concentrate on getting better, darling. Work can bloody well wait.”

  Jonny comes in with a wheelchair, broadly smiling at Lydia. “I’m glad you’ve said that to her, Lydia, as she probably wouldn’t have listened to me,” He playfully winks. “Do you want me to help you dress?” Jonny kindly offers, but I’m not ready for him to see my bruised and sore body just yet.

  “Lydia can help me, darling. You get everything else ready and then we can leave.”

  Jonny walks up to Lydia, kissing her on her cheek. “I want to thank you for everything, Lydia. We won’t forget everything you have done for us, I can’t thank you enough.”

  “My absolute pleasure, Jonny. You just take good care of her, okay?”

  “I certainly intend to,” he says.

  When Jonny leaves, Lydia helps me to dress. I notice her chin is trembling. I put my hand gently on her arm so that she looks at me. “Lydia, you truly don’t know how much you have helped me. You have never judged me, you have always supported me, for that I love you. I know everything is changing, but I still want you in my life and I still want to be part of yours. You are all I have left now of my life as it once was,” I say with a mixture of resignation and sadness.

  She starts to cry and embraces me; a real proper snot and tears cry. “I’m going to miss you, darling.”

  I hold her tight. “I’m going to miss you, too, but you know you can visit me in Chelsea any time. Please don’t forget about me there?”

  She sniffs hard. “Darling, you try bloody stopping me from coming. Schmoozing in London? I’ll be there in a heartbeat.” Her comedic wit even shines through when she has tears falling down her cheeks in long black mascara trails.

  “Besides, I’d like Jonny to meet your wonderful Mr. Carter.” I tell her with a wide grin.

  “It’s a date for sure.” Lydia cheerfully replies but her expression quickly changes. “What will you do about Shawn and the girls?” she asks.

  “I’m going to text Shawn to let him know where I am, but I haven’t really thought any further than that,” I sigh.

  Lydia smiles while holding my shoulders. “I will try too. I am sure the girls will come around, darling.”

  I sigh again, lowering my head. I can only live in hope that the girls will one day want to talk to me again. “We’ll see,” I say, not wanting to dwell on the prospect of my girls never wanting to be a part of my life.

  Lydia helps me stand to pull up the joggers, ensuring the waistband is not touching my painful tender scar. Then she carefully wraps the black pashmina around my head and shoulders, sweeping it across my neck and collarbone.

  “How do I look?” I playfully pout.

  “Ridiculous, darling. But at least those bastards won’t get a good picture of you.” We both laugh which causes me to wince; I protectively hold my stomach.

  Beef and Jonny enter the room with Doctor Williamson following quickly behind.

  “I see you are ready to go, Mrs. Neel. I do hope you will take it easy. Any problems in London then you must get checked over at a hospital, okay?” I nod at his concerned words.

  “Thank you for being so understanding about all of this Doctor Williamson.”

  “As long as you are well, that’s all that matters Mrs. Neel.”

  Jonny interrupts. He looks deep in thought. His only objective is to get me the hell out of this hospital. “Right, let’s get going. Beef and the hospital security will hold the journalists back and I have Simon waiting for us at the back of the hospital.” He and Lydia help me into the wheelchair.

  “Are there many of them?” Lydia asks.

  Har
assed, Jonny replies, “Not too many at the moment. I expect more outside my home, though.”

  “Don’t let the bastards get to you, darlings. You will be old news within a week.” Lydia places a comforting hand on my shoulder, pushing the wheelchair out of the room.

  When we get to the back doors of the hospital, Jonny peeks out to see whether there is anyone out there.

  The annoyance rushes through his gritted teeth. “There is always bloody one. Lydia, help me get Jessica quickly into the car, keep her head covered.” Gently they ease me out of the wheelchair. Jonny dashes out the back door to alert Simon we are ready. Simon waits by the opened car door as Jonny and Lydia help me down the few steps. It’s only a couple of metres to the car, but each step hurts like hell. Simon spots the journalist moving in closer to get the all-important picture.

  The determined pap shouts, “Why are you here, Jonny?”

  Simon lets go of the car door and walks towards him. “That’s none of your business, right now.”

  He ignores Simon. “Just tell us what’s this all about, Jonny?”

  “Persistent bugger isn’t he?” Lydia’s wayward brow arches high with annoyance.

  “Isn’t he just?” I reply in a peevish tone.

  Jonny slides me into the seat, stroking my cheek as I grimace in pain. “You okay, darling?”

  “All this moving around hurts a bit, but I’ll be okay in a minute.”

  Lydia leans into the car, giving me a sideways hug. “I will be down to see you soon, okay darling?”

  “You promise?”

  “Wild horses won’t stop me.” She smiles sweetly. Then she stands to kiss Jonny, who hugs her tight.

  “Thanks again, Lydia, for all you have done for myself and Jessica.”

  “No need to thank me, Jonny. Just get this lovely lady out of here.”

  Jonny smiles, as he gets into the seat beside me. Lydia closes the door and Simon drives around the front of the hospital. We pass the rest of the unknowing reporters. I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Jonny pulls me tight into his safe, wonderful chest.

  “Where’s Beef?” I ask.

  “He will go on ahead in the other car. How are you feeling?”