“We knew it would be like this,” I remind him.
Jay interjects. “The public doesn’t know Jessica like you do, Jonny. I am hoping that once things have calmed down, we could maybe think about arranging an interview with one of the magazines. To be able to tell your side of the story. At the end of the day, everyone fucking loves a fairy tale ending,” Jay laughs. His phone starts ringing. He holds his finger up, an unspoken gesture of ‘hold that thought’ as he wanders off to the other side of the room.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jonny searches my eyes for any signs of hurt.
“Honestly, I really am okay. Jay is right, let him do his job.” With teasing scorn, I poke my finger into his chest.
“Are you telling me off?” Jonny asks, with a twitching mouth that is on the cusp of a smile.
“Just a gentle shove in the right direction,” I tell him with a minx-like smirk.
“You’re a bossy thing when you want to be, aren’t you?” he asks.
We both are laughing, when an exasperated Jay paces back across the room. “You won’t fucking believe this. The office just rang. The press now know why you were in hospital, Jessica,” Jay huffs.
Confused I ask, “How did they find out?”
Jay angrily shrugs. “I have no fucking idea. Apparently they know a lot of personal details, such as your husband’s vasectomy, you and Jonny splitting up and getting back together after your collapse.”
Jonny is furious. “Shit, that’s really private stuff. If this has anything to do with Erin and Denley, they are going to fucking wish they had never been born.” he fumes.
“Listen, I’m going to get going, okay? I want to do some digging, see if I can find out who gave this shit to the press. I’ll call as soon as I hear anything.” Jay gives me a quick comfort rub on my arm before rushing from the room.
Jonny paces the carpet, shaking his head with his arms tightly folded across his chest. I stand there feeling unsure of what to say or do. I feel so confused and lost. Jonny looks up and a sad smile forms across his face.
“I’m sorry, darling.” He strides towards me with determination, holding me so close I can feel his rapid heartbeat.
“Who would do such a thing?” I muffle into his warm chest.
“I’m not even going to answer that, Jessica. There are no polite words I can use about such a person.”
“Surely no one from the hospital would have said anything, would they?” I ask.
“Not unless they want some fucking heads to roll,” Jonny growls.
“How would Erin even know about Shawn’s vasectomy? She wasn’t even working for you when I was in hospital.” I question.
“Maybe she used her contacts to find something out? She can be very persuasive when she wants to be,” Jonny says.
“I want it all to stop. I hate not knowing whether the girls are okay. I can’t stand not being there for them. I keep texting, but they don’t respond. I feel so bloody helpless. I didn’t even get a chance to tell them about the baby and knowing that they are going to find out about it like this, is all too much.” I hold Jonny tighter, needing to find solace against him.
He strokes my hair. “I know, darling. I wish I could do something to make it better, I really do.”
“You do make it better, Jonny. I don’t know how I would have coped without you.” I place a warm kiss on his wonderful, kind lips.
“Things will eventually settle down and then hopefully we can try to find some kind of normality around here,” he soothes.
“Does normal exist in any part of your life, Jonny Riley?” I ask with a quirked brow.
“Yes it does, my mum makes damn sure of it,” he says with a wink.
“Your mum?”
“Believe me, my mum would kick my sorry ass if I was ever anything less than normal.”
“Good for her.” I laugh against him.
“I was going to tell you later, but now we are on the subject of my mum, she is coming to stay in a few days’ time,” he says. Great . . . another person to hate me! “Hey, don’t look so worried. My mum is dying to meet you.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Mum knew about you all along, Jessica. I never kept you from her,” he responds.
“Oh, no, now I know she will hate me.” I nervously laugh.
“Why do you say that?” Jonny asks.
“All the pain that I have caused you. I know as a mother, that if anyone ever hurts your child . . . they hurt you. That is bound to piss her off,” I say with a tremble in my voice.
“I think we were pretty equal on the causing pain to one another, don’t you think?” His eyebrow rises. “When you collapsed and Lydia rang me, the first person I spoke to was my mum. She told me to get my ass to the hospital, pronto!”
“So you wouldn’t have come otherwise?” I ask with concern in my wide blue eyes.
“Of course I would have. She just told me what I already knew, that’s all.” I am relieved by his words. I bring my arms higher up his back, holding him tighter in my needing arms. We stand like this, in a reflective loving embrace.
“How come your mum still lives in Devon?” I ask.
“I would love her to be closer to me, but she’s not a fan of London at all. Our house is close to the sea. Mum loves the area, so she’ll never leave there.”
“So what is she like?” I ask with keen interest.
“Well, I’m slightly biased of course, but she is artistic, intelligent, funny, loyal, quirky and she doesn’t mince her words,” he proudly states.
“Scary then?”
Jonny runs his palm affectionately down my hair. “Not at all, she just speaks her mind. The thing with my mum is, you always know where you stand with her. She is straight down the line.”
“Best way to be I think.”
“I know you will love her, as she will you.” Jonny holds me once again. I do hope he is right! If only I could share his enthusiasm. He obviously thinks the world of his mum and if we don’t get along, it could be a very big problem. Shit!
Later in the day Mary and I are busily preparing a lasagna together. Jonny is in the gym upstairs. I am humming to myself as I happily chop some mushrooms.
“You know you don’t have to do this, don’t you Jessica?” Mary asks.
“I like to, though. I enjoy cooking. The girls used to love helping me chop. . . . .” my voice sadly trails off. I fight back the tears. No more crying!
“It must be very hard for you, I am sure your girls will come round.” Mary flashes me one of her biggest ‘pick me up’ smiles.
I am unable to believe that right now. The adamant shake of my head only confirms this. “I’m sorry, Mary. I really can’t expect anything else can I? I have hurt them and their father, so badly.”
Mary tilts her head, her eyes full of sympathy. “You cannot control who you fall in love with, dear.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I did try to, but my heart won out in the end.”
Mary stands a little closer. “Even with all that’s going on at the moment, Jessica. I can honestly say, I have never seen Mr. Riley look more happy.” Her words bring a smile to my stony-face.
“That means a lot, Mary.” I continue to neatly chop the mushrooms, carefully pushing them to one side. She has been so kind and impartial to me. Then a troubled thought suddenly crosses my mind. “You don’t mind me helping you cook, do you? You are probably used to cooking alone, I don’t want you to feel that I am trying to take over or anything.” I nervously ramble.
She laughs. “I don’t think that at all. In fact, I am rather enjoying having you cook with me in the kitchen. It certainly makes it far more enjoyable,” Mary sweetly says.
“That’s good to hear . . . now do you make your lasagna with or without red wine?” I hold up a bottle, giving her a sly smirk.
“Oh, definitely with,” she says, holding back a giggle.
“You know, Mary, I knew there was a very good reason why I liked you.” We fill the ki
tchen with joyous laughter.
Jonny breezes in, looking sexily sweaty and wearing an equally sexy smile. Out of breath, he opens the fridge door. “I didn’t think cooking was enjoyed that much by women?” He smirks at us both.
I playfully bump into Mary’s shoulder. “Well they are obviously not using the right ingredients, isn’t that right?”
“Indeed, Jessica,” she giggles.
Jonny leans his back against the fridge door with a chilled bottle of water in his hand. “So ladies, what is on the menu tonight?”
“Lasagna. Did you have a good workout?” I say, looking up from my slow stirring of the sauce; any excuse to check him out in his gym gear of low-slung grey joggers and a black sleeveless tank top. Mhmm! Keep stirring the delicious sauce, Jessica!
“It feels good to get rid of some of my pent up press frustration,” he replies, taking a quick swig of his water.
“Good.” Stop staring, Jessica! Jeez!
Jonny catches my eyes lusting over his toned abs and biceps. Slightly embarrassed at being caught, I focus my attention back on the conveniently distracting sauce. “I’ll go grab a shower and be back down in a bit. Okay, Dimples?” With a cocky smirk, he rushes up and kisses my neck. His lips are ice cold from the water, but I only feel the heat from where those lips have been. Damn! Those chilled lips of his could set any woman on fire!
We eat dinner after Mary has left for the evening. Maybe this is our slice of normality at last. We laugh at jokes, share nostalgic memories, talk about our future and simply enjoying being in one another’s company in a carefree way.
After we have eaten, together, we tidy away our dinner plates in happy, content silence. When the phone rings, Jonny rushes through to the hall to answer it. He is only on the phone a few minutes when he comes back in with a troubled look upon his face.
“What’s up?” I know that look of his. That weighted, burdened expression.
“That was Jay. You won’t believe who spilled the beans to the press,” Jonny says.
“Who?” I ask.
Jonny hesitates, taking a deep breath before replying. “Shawn’s mum.”
What the fuck? “Catherine? Are you sure?” I ask with bulging eyes. Jonny nods with absolute certainty. “I can’t believe it. Why would she do that?” I seethe.
Jonny leans with his back against the oak door frame. “Did you two not get on or something?”
I look at Jonny with a confused frown. “We were never what you would call close, but we got on okay.” I explain. Which pretty much summed up our relationship. I never found Catherine to be someone that I actually enjoyed being around. I think she always felt I was far too independent; that my true womanly place belonged in the marital home. She is an old fashioned woman, with old fashioned beliefs. So we just rubbed along nicely together, for the sake of Shawn and the girls.
Jonny holds the back of his neck with his two hands, blowing away a frustrated breath. “I honestly didn’t see that coming.”
Absently, I rub my arm. “Me neither, her hate for me must mean far more to her than her own son and grand-daughters’ feelings,” I say.
Jonny lifts a disbelieving brow. “I know. I would be seriously pissed if my mum did that to me. I wonder if Shawn knew what she was planning?”
I answer, shaking my head. “I doubt it. Shawn maybe upset, but he wouldn’t want this all across the papers, if not for himself but for the girls.”
“What are you going to do?” Jonny asks.
I resign myself with a quick shrug of my shoulders. “What can I do? I could ring her, screaming and shouting down the phone, but what good would it really do?”
“And Shawn?” Jonny steps closer.
I put my hands up as though I am surrendering. “He’s not answering any of my calls, so there is no point in me even trying to contact him.”
Jonny slips his arms around my waist. “Part of me wishes it was Erin and Denley. I could have done something about it then.” He breathes heavily over my shoulder.
I lean back, to look at him. “There is nothing more that they can say about us now, Jonny. They have every single skeleton in our cupboard. We just have to carry on like we have been and wait for the media storm to pass.” I tell him, willing myself to believe in my own words.
Jonny smiles. “That’s fighting talk if ever I’ve heard it, Jessica.”
“I am so sick of feeling guilty and ashamed. Worrying all the time about what the world thinks of you and me. I am sick of it all. I am not going to keep apologising for falling in love.” Looking up at him, I place my chin on his comforting chest.
He looks down with a relieved smile. “You don’t know how good it makes me feel to hear you say that, Jessica. There has been a part of me worrying about all that is constantly being thrown at us, time and time again it seems. I worry that one day you will just think to yourself, enough is enough.”
My grip tightens around him. “And do what exactly?” I ask, looking into his dull eyes.
“That you will leave me.” Jonny’s emotive words leave him so vulnerable. He hates not being able to control what is happening to us. He hates what is being said about me. He just looks so emotionally exhausted and physically worn out.
I push against him, minimising any distance between us. “Is that what you honestly think, Jonny?” I ask with my hand on his chest.
Jonny sighs, a long low sigh. “Being with me is a lot to take on I know. I don’t want my fame to make you unhappy and scare you off. Nothing is more important to me than making you happy, Jessica.”
I laugh, a short disbelieving laugh. “I’m the one with the shit load of baggage remember? One betrayed husband, two daughters who have disowned me and a vindictive mother-in-law. I think I should be the one who is worried, don’t you think?”
Taking my chin and letting it rest on his tender fingers, he smiles. “I’m not going anywhere, Dimples.”
“Neither am I, Jonny.”
He tenderly rubs his lips across mine, breathing hard. “I love you so much.”
“And I love you.”
Never before have those words had such significant meaning. As throughout everything, Jonny has stood by me with his support, love and protection. He makes me smile when I want to cry. He gives me hope when mine is lost. He gives me strength when my troubles leave me weak. His love picks me up when I am down. With him by my side, I feel we can face anything together.
We go to bed that night and contentedly lay in each other’s arms with a new understanding of us . . . a new understanding of our love.
The next day the headlines are much more personal and hurtful; Riley Got Cheating Wife Pregnant . . . Riley’s Lover Was Pregnant . . . Jonny’s Lover Loses Baby . . . Ectopic Scare For Riley’s Cheating Lover.
In light of these painful headlines, Jay decides to release the statement on behalf of Jonny and myself.
Obviously, many people didn’t even know about the ectopic pregnancy. We are both surprised and taken aback by the outpouring of kind-hearted messages we receive from Jonny’s friends and those he had worked with in the past.
“I’ll be glad when they find some other poor bastards to write about.” Jonny throws one of the morning papers down onto the kitchen worktop.
Mary, who is busily buttering some toast, literally jumps out of her skin from the sound of the paper slamming down onto the hard steel surface. Her startled face looks across at Jonny. She can see how harassed he is, so she offers him a sympathetic smile with her kind and loyal green eyes. “They will, Mr. Riley, just you wait and see.”
Affectionately Jonny smiles at his trusting housekeeper. “I hope you’re right Mary, I really do.”
Seeing myself, coldly described, as a cheating wife along with how the press can callously write about our baby, is not the greatest way to start the day. I am swamped by feelings of shame, embarrassment, hurt and loss.
I feel two arms wrap around me and Jonny’s chin resting on my shoulder. “You okay, Dimples?”
; I let out a slow breath. A ‘no, I am not’ kind of breath, but choose to play down my feelings. “I’m fine.” I quietly reply.
“It will blow over . . . believe me.” Jonny brushes his cheek against mine.
“I’ll be okay, I’m just feeling sorry for myself, that’s all.” I place my hands on top of his, enjoying the comfort his embrace brings.
“Is there anything I can do?”
Resting my head against the side of his face I reply, “This cuddle helps.” Jonny gently sways with me from side to side then lets me go, spinning me around so quickly I am now facing him. His cappuccino eyes momentarily look at me before he places the most gentlest of kisses on my lips. If kisses were a way to make all the shit in my life disappear, then this kiss was it. Jonny is trying to kiss all of my woes away, all of our woes away. He wants to vanquish all that is troubling me by showing me his love, by letting me feel his love. I sigh once more, but this is a contented sigh; a ‘you are so bloody wonderful’ kind of sigh.
Assured that I am feeling better, Jonny picks up his toast and quickly takes a sip of his coffee. When Beef strolls into the kitchen, he looks down on the counter at all the papers and a deep frown forms across his broad forehead. He is a man of few words anyway, but the sympathetic smile he throws me speaks volumes. That’s right Beef . . . I am still making front-page news because of my infidelity!
“I had better hurry up.” Jonny grabs his mobile and wallet.
This is the first time Beef and Jonny have been out in a few days and I am worried. I know how the press is going to pounce on him as soon as he steps foot out there. I wish he didn’t have to go, but he has an important meeting with a casting director. I am more nervous than ever about him leaving the apartment today, as it seems there are a lot more press out there since the news broke about the ectopic pregnancy.
“Make sure you look after him, Beef,” I request.
“I sure will, Jessica,” Beef says.
Jonny stands in front of me, stroking my arms. “I’ll be okay.”
“There are so many out there today . . . just be careful,” I beg.
“Simon is going to stay with you and Mary whilst we are gone. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but hopefully it shouldn’t take all day.”
A Famous Affair Page 23
