“It’s so heart warming to see Mr. Riley getting into the festive spirit, he reminds me a little of my son you know,” Mary says.
“How old is your son, Mary?” I ask.
“He will be twenty-nine in March.”
“What is his name?”
“Terry . . . he’s a vet in Dorset now.” Mary smiles, as she wipes the crumbs away with a damp cloth.
“Wow, a vet. You must be so proud.”
Mary nods enthusiastically; her already wide grin gets even wider. “I am indeed. He visits when he can, but he’s on call a lot so our Christmas gatherings are often arranged around his busy schedule. We always try to make it as special as we can. He really would kill me for divulging this, but even at his age he still gets so excited about Christmas crackers and party poppers.” Mary’s green eyes proudly shine bright, creasing upwards with laughter.
“I shall definitely have to get some party poppers for Jonny, let him indulge himself for the evening.” I giggle.
“Oh, you must, Jessica.” On hearing the telephone Mary quickly rushes to answer it. “Hello? No, I’m afraid Mr. Riley’s out, Mr. Scott.”
Confused, I look up. “Is that Jay?” I ask with a hard frown. Mary nods at my question. “Can I just have a quick word please?” She hands me the phone. “Hi Jay, it’s Jessica. Is Jonny not with you?” I ask, feeling worried.
“No, he’s not. I was just wanting to check a date with him for a magazine interview.” Jay responds cheerfully.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “I thought he had a meeting with you this morning?” I can hear the quick turning of paper pages.
“No, there’s nothing in my diary.” Jay tells me with a confused tone.
There’s now an awkward pause. I am trying to think of our last conversation. Jonny definitely told me he was meeting Jay. Where the hell has he gone?
“I wonder where he is then?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but could you ask him to call me when he gets back?”
“Sure, Jay.”
“See you soon then. Jessica.”
“Yes, bye.” I put the phone down, wondering where the hell is he? Frowns form across my thoughtful face. Why would Jonny lie to me about meeting Jay? Mary is now wearing the same concerned frown.
“Is something wrong, Jessica?”
“I don’t know yet, Mary.” My irrational thoughts cloud my better judgment, which is completely uncalled for. Why on Earth am I reacting with such suspicion towards Jonny? He has never given me any reason to not trust him. Yet here I am; not trusting him.
When Jonny returns, I try to hide my displeased expression when he casually walks into the library. I pretend to be busy, staring blankly at the laptop on my desk. Jonny squeezes himself between the oak desk and me, his backside leaning against it: his legs touching mine.
“Hey beautiful, sorry I’m late. Things ran over a bit,” he says.
“Busy morning with Jay, was it?” My tone is accusatory.
“As always . . . yes it was.” My heart sinks at his casual reply. His lie is officially fucking confirmed!
I daren’t look him in the eye. I carry on with the pretence that I’m engrossed in what I am doing. “I see.” is my only reply, trying desperately to remain calm but quietly fuming. A myriad of burning, distressing thoughts and feelings sear through my entire body. I am not entirely sure what I am supposed to say. In fact, all I want to do is scream and cry. He has lied and I’m too fucking afraid to know why.
Completely unaware of my torrid and imprisoned thoughts, Jonny reaches for my hand and innocently asks, “Are you nearly ready to go? I have the table booked at The Broadway.” The anger fuses inside of my brain. What a complete bastard! My tide of fury pours out of me. I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms and look right at him with an indignant and resentful expression.
“To be honest, Jonny, I have lost my appetite.” I bluntly reply.
His face drops. “What . . . but you can’t have? You’ve not had any lunch have you?” he asks, leaning forward.
“No, I haven’t. But the thing is, and let me be very frank about this; I find it difficult to eat in the company of a liar.” I look at him, blinking back my rising temper.
The look of shock on Jonny’s face almost makes me feel sorry for him, but at this precise moment in time . . . I am too fucking angry to care.
He studies my face. My scathing expression remains the same. Jonny then crosses his arms, mirroring me. “I don’t understand?”
I lift my chin; feeling justified to talk to him in this way. “Jay rang earlier, he told me that you had no meeting arranged this morning,” I say, angrily twisting the swivel chair from side to side.
He continues to look at me after my very abrupt reply. There is no longer a look of panic or an uneasy body language . . . nothing! He just sits there, staring at me until an arrogant smirk reaches across his face. His confident smirk then changes to a crooked, smug smile that stretches all over his now very slap-worthy face. “Oh . . . now I get it,” is all he says. What the fuck? He has been caught lying and he bloody well smiles?
I sulk. “I am so fucking glad that I amuse you when I am very pissed off.”
Jonny continues to smile. “Yes, you do.”
“So where were you all morning?” I make my accusatory tone much more obvious this time.
Jonny uncrosses his arms, gripping the edge of the desk either side of him. “I was out getting your Christmas present if you really must know, but obviously you don’t trust me. I don’t think I’ll even bother giving it to you now.” Fuck! What did he just say? Christmas present? Shit! It hadn’t even crossed my mind about Christmas presents. I would say on the scale of fuck-ups, this was certainly off the Jessica scale! I just want the floor to open and devour my embarrassed and very stupid self, up. Take a bow Jessica, that was a phenomenal fuck up! I look at him, feeling insecure, insignificant and rather pathetic. No words will convey just how sorry I am for not trusting him. My insecurity is inexcusable.
Jonny remains where he is; shaking his head disapprovingly. I swallow but my mouth is too dry. I am thinking of something non-confrontational to say; anything that will dig me out of this self-made hole I am stuck in. Something which will make me look a lot less like a jealous, overreacting and paranoid girlfriend. No words will get you out of this one, Jessica! You have fucked up . . . big time!
I try to speak with conviction, “Trust isn’t the issue here, Jonny. It’s the fact that you have lied to me.” You liar, Jessica Neel! Trust is so the issue here!
Jonny pulls his shoulders back. “I think there is a very real difference between a little white lie and an outright deceiving lie don’t you, Jessica?” He is not letting me get off that easily and who can fucking blame him.
I let out a long, drawn out breath. “Hasn’t there already been enough lies in our relationship?”
“Not between you and me.” His answer is non-negotiable. Looking to the floor, I sigh. He is right and I am wrong. I am left feeling disappointed and angry with myself for reacting so childishly. Angry with how pathetic I really am.
Jonny still has his backside on the oak desk. He leans forward to speak to me, placing his hands on each side of my swivel chair. “Now listen, Jessica. I was trying to organise a present for you. There was no big, hurtful lie being told. I am not going behind your back doing anything untoward and certainly not with anyone else. The question is, do you believe me?” I nod and Jonny smiles with relief. “Now, do you want me to tell you just how sexy you look when you are angry or am I just lying about that too?” A smile threatens to spread across my face. Jonny moves in closer, taking my face into his soft masculine hands. His sincere, hazel eyes look deep into mine. “I would never lie to you. That is not who I am, Jessica.”
I ashamedly mumble, “I know and I am sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Jonny pulls me up off my chair, pulling me between his legs. “That’s okay. I know you would never knowingly be a stubborn li
ttle madam.” He is grinning. I know he is toying with me and the fact that he has reacted so calmly to my unacceptable behaviour totally surprises me. It is more than I truly deserve. “Really?” I ask.
“No . . . that is a lie.” His throaty relaxed laugh fills the library. I shake my head, wrapping my arms around his neck with relief rushing through my veins. I embrace him with our cheeks pressing against one another. As soon as his familiar musky scent hits me, I breathe it in like I won’t survive another minute unless I do. Shit, he smells so good!
“Do you still love me although I am a stroppy and stubborn little madam?” I ask, pressing my body into his, batting my lashes in an overly sexual way.
“I love stroppy and stubborn little madams,” he replies. I am forgiven with one of his tender kisses. Our bodies lean impossibly close to one another. I look into the eyes of my perfect and patient man with such adoration, respect and of course . . . trust.
After a severe talking to myself, I am now most certainly ready to eat. “Now can we go to The Broadway Tower? I am starving.” I ask, nuzzling into Jonny’s neck.
Once again, he laughs. “Let’s go, Dimples.”
Pulling up outside of The Broadway Tower, it still has the same effect on me. Its breath-taking architecture leaves me in silent, brooding awe. Although the place is the same, I am not. It now feels like a lifetime ago when I was last here. So much has happened in my life since then. I fondly remember the first time I ever set foot into the beautiful yet daunting reception. I felt small, apprehensive and uptight. With Jonny now beside me, I feel sexy, confident and assured.
I glance around the extravagant interior. It still has the same crisp white walls with white marble floors and the same impressive marble reception desk.
“Afternoon, Mr. Riley. Your table is waiting.” An immaculately dressed brunette, enthusiastically welcomes Jonny behind the impressive marbled reception.
Taking my hand, Jonny walks with me a little way in the direction of the bar but then abruptly stops. “Okay, that’s as far as I am taking you, Jessica.”
I frown. “What . . . what are you talking about?” I stammer, now thrown into complete confusion.
Jonny smiles, stroking my jawline. “Do you remember where you were sat with Lydia when I asked you back to my room for a drink?” he asks.
“Of course I do . . . why?”
“That is where your Christmas present is. I know it’s a bit early, but I think you are going to love it nevertheless.” He flashes me one of those irresistible smiles of his, which he seems to have a never ending supply of.
I lean against him with my hand on his chest. “I don’t understand. Why aren’t you coming?”
Jonny lovingly kisses my palm. “I will, but in a bit. Now go!” He pushes my confused body away from his.
I turn to walk towards the bar, wondering why the hell he isn’t joining me. Any confused thoughts of Jonny are quickly dispersed though because straight away, I notice the backs of two girls sitting at the table which Lydia and I sat at all those months before. A feeling of familiarity hits me, then a feeling of utter disbelief. Can it be true? Can I even dare to let myself think this? The golden colour of the two girls’ silky long hair and their slender frames now have my high hopes bursting through the ceiling. Can it really be true? My heart begins to pound inside of my chest, while my legs shake as I walk closer towards them. Could my beautiful babies really be here in The Broadway? I walk with nervy determination, unable to get to the table quickly enough.
Lissy is the first to see me; her beautiful face brightens the instant she spots me. Then Lottie turns around. She literally jumps out of her chair, hurtling herself towards me. My precious girls! My heart actually hurts with the unimaginable happiness of seeing my wonderful daughters so pleased to see me. I hold out my aching arms. The very same arms that have felt so completely deprived for so long.
“Mum . . . Mum!” Lottie cries out. Lissy is right behind her. They both hug me so tight, I am literally left breathless.
“Oh, my beautiful girls . . . I have missed you so, so much.” I rain kisses all over their precious heads.
“We have too, Mum,” Lottie sweetly sobs against my chest.
The three of us stand, entwined in an emotional embrace. My beautiful girls! I hold them contentedly, squeezing them so tight that I fear if I don’t, I may just wake up from a beautiful dream. Holding them close, the fragrance of their hair smells homely and soothing; the missing part of me is now in my arms and I couldn’t be happier. All the times that I have longed for this, prayed for this. Never did I dare to dream that it would one day happen, but here they are . . . my babies really are here!
“Let’s sit down, girls.” I look towards the reception desk, hoping to see Jonny still standing there. He is nowhere to be seen. To think that I ever doubted him, when all along he had this planned. I always thought he was perfect but to bring Lissy and Lottie to me, makes him the most unbelievably perfect man to have ever walked this Earth.
“Are you okay now, Mum?” Lissy asks, her teenage face so full of concern.
I reach for hers and Lottie’s hand, holding it against my chest as we sit huddled together. “I am never better, my darlings. So how have you been? How is school? Look at you both, you look so grown up!” I ramble. Desperate to catch up on all their news.
Lottie’s eyes meet mine. “It has been hard not having you around, but my friends have been great.” She has indeed grown up a lot since I last saw her, carrying the weight of her troubles has matured her beautiful, young soul.
“I know things have been difficult, girls. I am so sorry for hurting you and your dad. I love you both so much and it kills me to think I have embarrassed you.” I apologise, stroking their cheeks.
Lissy looks at me, her eyes are happy but teary. “At first, we were angry and ashamed about you and Jonny Riley. Then Dad found out about Nan telling the papers all about the baby. That is when things got really bad, it made Dad even angrier. We had journalists ringing up and just showing up on the door all of the time. Dad was furious but Nan just kept on blaming you, but it wasn’t you who told them, was it?” Lissy blurts it all out so fast, she is left breathless. She has been through so much. Holding in everything within her sensitive head, she obviously now needs to offload it all onto me. I lovingly stroke her face, still in shock that I am able to do so.
“Your Nan was very upset at the time, Lissy. I know she should have never spoken to the press like that but she did because she was angry. I never wanted you to find out about the baby in that way and I am sure, neither did your Dad. Which is probably why he was so angry. I can’t change what has happened girls, but I am hoping that you will allow me to try to put things right. I want you to be a part of my life. I know it will be different, but it’s important that we start afresh. My not being with your Dad, doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you both so much and I need you in my life, that’s if you still want me in yours?” I look from one innocent face to the other, wishing I could read their thoughts.
Lottie is the first to speak; her ice blue eyes are wide and bright. “I have missed you so much, Mum. All I wanted was for things to be just like they were before, but after speaking to Dad . . . I know they can’t be. I also know that you are still my Mum and I still love you, no matter what.” She collapses into my ready arms. I hold her tightly, trying to console her. I glance at Lissy, whose tear filled eyes rest on her weeping sister.
“It is going to be okay, Lottie. Shhhh,” I soothe.
I reach for Lissy’s hand. Her face is etched with emotion as she speaks. “I feel the same, Mum. I have tried hating you for what you have done, but I can’t. I couldn’t bear listening to Nan speak about you so horribly all the time. The day that you came to the house, both me and Lottie got so upset. Dad and Nan were arguing so loudly, I couldn’t bear it any longer. I screamed at them both to stop. That is when Dad asked Nan to leave so he could talk to us.” I kiss her pale hand. Once again, it is my way of tryin
g to apologise.
“I am so sorry, Lissy. You shouldn’t be going through all this because of me. I want to try to make it up to the both of you.” I hug them both so tight, afraid to let them go. “Do you want to tell me what you and your Dad talked about after your Nan left?” I nervously ask. Not because I want to know. I just want Lissy to feel like she can talk to me about anything. After everything that has happened both of them need the channel of communication kept wide open. If we are to ever get back on track, we all need to be open and honest with one another.
“I think Dad realised for the first time, how much we both missed you. He asked me if I wanted to see you, I told him I did. He asked Lottie and she said the same thing,” Lissy says.
“Then what?” I ask my sweet girl.
“He said nothing for a couple of days. Eventually Dad told us that if we truly wanted to see you, then we must . . . regardless of his or Nan’s feelings. So I called Lydia, who then called Jonny and that is how we ended up here.”
I smile, trying to process everything my darling daughter has just told me. I feel the need to keep touching both of them, just to ensure that this is really happening. I kiss both their knuckles. “I am so glad you are here. I was worried I wouldn’t see you again. I cannot begin to tell you how much I have missed you both. Is your Dad happy for you both to spend the night here?” I nervously ask.
“Could we, Mum?” Lottie interrupts with a burst of excitement.
I stroke her face, my emotions are building up in the pit of my stomach as I touch her porcelain skin. “I would love for you to stay over, Lottie. Simon can drive you back tomorrow, but you best check with your Dad first.”
“Is Simon your driver, Mum?”
I nod, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes, Lottie, he is. Beef is Jonny’s, but he is also his friend and bodyguard . . . you will meet Beef soon enough.” I tell her, squeezing her hand with happiness.
I look across at Lissy, who is looking down at the table. I knew that out of the two of them, my being with Jonny was going to hit her the hardest. She is incredibly sensitive and very close with Shawn. I watch her, chewing the inside of her lip. Something she always does when anxious or upset.
A Famous Affair Page 36
