Jonny sighs. “It will be gone by the time I go to New York.” I can’t hide my sadness. I don’t want to hide my sadness. I lace my fingers through his, pulling his hand to my lips.
“I am going to miss you so much. It’s going to be so hard not having you around.” I say in a trembling voice.
Jonny turns his head on the pillow. “I am trying not to think about it too much. If I’m honest, Jessica, seeing Shawn today has kind of put things into perspective for me.”
“Why?”
“I know that I am coming back to you, which will always keep me going. That poor bastard doesn’t even have that, does he?” Jonny is right. He is coming back to me. Shawn will never have that to look forward to. Once again I find myself swimming around in guilt. No Jessica! Stop that right fucking now! I lie my head on Jonny’s stomach. trying to block out the rights and wrongs which war inside of my head.
I whisper. “We will be okay, won’t we?”
“I know we are going to be okay. This . . . us . . . we are meant to be, Dimples.” Jonny assures me, stroking my back.
I lift my head, bringing our eyes together. “We have to stop feeling guilty, Jonny.”
“I know we do.”
“Our guilt will destroy what we have, if we allow it to.”
“I know. I am sorry . . . you are right. It unsettled me seeing Shawn today, that’s all. I didn’t think that seeing him would affect me like this.” I fully grasp what Jonny is saying to me. It was hard enough admitting to myself how coming face to face with Shawn had affected me, maybe for different reasons but difficult all the same.
I relax in Jonny’s arms, playing with his soft chest hairs; twiddling them gently between my preoccupied fingers. I feel his chest expand as he continues talking. “All those times that you were meeting with me, Jessica. Not once, did I ever stop to think of the consequences. I didn’t have a conscience about Shawn, but you did. It must have been so hard for you but all I cared about was myself. I didn’t care about what lies you had to tell in order to see me and for that, I apologise. I am sorry for not being more supportive of you,” he says, holding me tighter.
I push myself up, kneeling beside him. “Jonny Riley, this has to stop! You are beginning to sound regretful of me and you.” I point a teasing finger at him. I am desperately trying so hard to lift his mood. I want to make the most of the time we have together between now and when he goes to New York. I refuse to let what has happened today pollute the precious days that we have left.
Jonny laughs, quickly grabbing me. “No! God, no! I am not regretting anything, Dimples. I am just in a reflective mood. I love you . . . I will never regret us. Seeing Shawn today just made me realise that there is another man in all of this. A man who is hurting because of his love for you.” He now sits up, bringing my face close to his. I feel his warm breath fan my face, his lips almost touching mine. He speaks deep and slow. “I am so in love with you, it sometimes actually hurts being with you. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Jessica.”
I smile, threading my fingers together behind his neck. “Hey . . . stop this! I am not going anywhere. I—love—you.” I over enunciate those all-important three words.
He rubs our noses together in an almost childlike way. “My going to New York isn’t going to be the end of us, is it?” Jonny’s eyes search deep into mine. He seeks for a shred of doubt that may exist there . . . only there isn’t.
I smile, holding him reassuringly tight. “No, my darling . . . it’s just the beginning.” With him in my arms, every part of me is trying to convince him that I speak the truth. I decide right there and then that our first Christmas together is indeed going to be a special one. We will share it with those who love and care about us; those who understand our coming together was about an all-consuming love which was bigger than anything we had ever known. We can’t keep living in the past. We have to look forward. We have to find solace in what our future holds. I want us to create new and long lasting memories which will become part of our newly accepted togetherness. The acceptance of our past will lay the foundations for our future.
I have always loved Christmas; it’s a special time of the year. I love all the Christmas songs and seeing all the beautiful decorations everywhere I go, it brings out my inner child. My festive delight makes me giddy with excitement and the Christmas spirit is very much in full swing at Jonny’s. With Christmas being only two weeks away, we are throwing ourselves into making it as wonderful as possible. Mary is busily preparing all that she needs for a traditional Christmas cake, while Jonny and I are looking at a beautiful array of online decorations.
“Do you want a traditional theme or something a bit more modern?” I ask, quickly scrolling through the overwhelming amount of Christmas decorations before me on the laptop screen.
“I’m not sure? I suppose when I really think about it . . . golds, greens and reds are the colours which remind me of Christmas,” Jonny says with a look of concentration all over his handsome face.
I smile. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“I am very pleased to hear that, Jessica.” His crooked, boyish grin is honestly mesmerising. I find it hard to peel my eyes away from him and his hot mouth. I need to distract myself and quickly, before I throw myself at him, resulting in the apartment being without decorations this Christmas.
“This tree looks lovely doesn’t it? Do you like real or artificial?” I ask, focusing on only trees and not Jonny’s mouth.
“I am definitely a real kind of man.” Those wicked hazel eyes continue to penetrate me, causing me to melt in my chair. How does he manage to turn something so innocent, into something which now has an intoxicating undercurrent of sex running alongside it?
With a hand on my hip I try to ignore his provocativeness. “I am talking about trees. I suggest you concentrate, Mr. Riley.”
Jonny pulls me from my chair onto his lap, folding his arms around me. “You love this don’t you?”
“What?” I innocently ask.
“This! Getting ready for Christmas.” Jonny says, stroking my thigh.
I smile, running my hands through his ruffled hair. “I adore Christmas . . . don’t you?”
Jonny kisses my chin. “I adore you, so yes! You have indeed converted me into loving Christmas, too.” He then playfully kisses my earlobe. Oh, my! Back to Christmas decorations, Jessica!
I squeal and wriggle in his lap before wrapping my arms around his neck. “So, you didn’t before?” I ask.
“I never really got into the whole celebrating Christmas thing because I wasn’t ever sharing it with anyone.” His brooding expression makes me momentarily feel sad, imagining Jonny always being surrounded by people, however feeling incredibly lonely.
I tilt my head to look at him. “Well, now you do . . . so choose some bloody decorations.” My laughing lips press softly onto his.
He rests his chin on my shoulder, leaning us both forward to look at the computer screen. “Okay . . . let’s see. I like these, these, and these, oh, and that’s nice, too.” He adds an assortment of baubles, garlands, tinsel and lights to the online cart with endearing enthusiasm.
I giggle. “See . . . you’re getting into it now.”
Jonny lavishes my neck with tiny kisses before looking at me. “Shall we have a tree in the hallway and in both reception rooms and the dining room?”
My eyes widen. “Four bloody trees? There’s really no stopping you now is there?” I laugh.
“Well you wanted me to choose Christmas decorations . . . I am choosing Christmas decorations.” He laughs, looking from me, back to the screen. “I also want a big garland coming all the way down the hallway stairs,” he adds with his animated arm gliding through the air.
I nod, excitedly shuffling in his lap. “That would look amazing.” I imagine the curved stairway being spectacularly decorated with a lavish swag of mixed foliage including cedar, pine and spruce. The image of beautifully embellished gold pinecones and rich red poinsettia with
tiny white fairy lights bring a gleaming smile to my face.
“I have booked an acoustic covers band too, is that okay?” Jonny asks.
I cuddle into him. “It sounds perfect.” I contentedly reply.
Jonny smiles. “I saw this band at a friend’s party a couple of years ago and I was really impressed with them. They cover pop, funk, soul, indie and blues.”
“What are they called?” I ask.
“The Covettes,” he replies.
“Great . . . and what about food? We don’t have long to sort it out.” I frown.
“I wanted to get caterers in, but Mary won’t let me. She adamantly told me that she wants to cook, who am I to stop her? I have convinced her to have some help come in, though. She has thankfully, agreed to waiting staff and some kitchen help.” Jonny says, amused by Mary’s stubbornness.
“I am pleased to hear that. We don’t want to exhaust her in time for Christmas.”
Jonny shrugs, with narrowed eyes. “It wasn’t easy trying to convince her, I can tell you.”
“I bet it wasn’t.” I agree.
Jonny spins us both round in the large leather swivel chair. I fall deeper into his lap, laughing into his chest. “So . . . we have decorations coming, food sorted, band sorted and a load of alcohol ordered. Anything else, Mrs. Neel?”
“Yes . . . you forgot this.” With my arms around his neck, I kiss him with tender force. Jonny eagerly pulls me tightly into his chest, returning my amorous kiss. During our momentary act of passion we sense someone is behind us. We both are met with Mary’s embarrassed smile, her sweet eyes are not quite certain where to look.
She nervously clears her throat. “Apologies for interrupting, Mr. Riley. You have a phone call.”
“Okay. Thank you, Mary.” Jonny helps me off his lap, to quickly walk out of the reception room to take the call.
“Mary?” I ask, still feeling a little awkward after her walking in on our rather steamy kiss.
“Yes, Jessica?” Although still a tad flustered, she politely responds.
“Are you sure you are happy to do all the Christmas food?” I ask with a small smile.
Her eyes widen with delight. “Of course I am, I would love to do it.” Mary grins back at me, our mutual awkwardness quickly leaving us.
“Okay, that’s all I wanted to hear. I am glad Jonny has convinced you to accept some help, as you will need it.”
“I cannot wait to get started, Jessica. It’s going to be wonderful to cook for all of you.” Her face illuminates at the prospect of cooking for the Christmas party.
Stroking her arm, I smile. “As long as you are happy, Mary. I am happy.”
“That’s very kind, Jessica. This will be the first time Mr. Riley has properly celebrated Christmas here as he’s usually with friends or goes to Devon to be with his mother. Which is why, it’s so important for me to cook for you both. I need to make the most of cooking for him as he will be leaving after Ch . . .” Mary’s voice cracks, she lowers her head and is frantically searching for a tissue in her pocket. Simply too overwhelmed to contain her emotions or continue talking.
“Oh, Mary, come here.” I hug her tightly. She obviously needs this hug because she holds me back like her life depends on it.
“I’m so sorry, Jessica. I don’t know what’s come over me.” Mary sniffles into her crumpled up tissue.
“No need to apologise. I know exactly how you are feeling, Mary. We are both going to miss him, but he will be back.” I try to comfort her.
“I know. I’m just being a foolish old woman.” She sniffs, dabbing her genteel eyes with a sodden tissue.
I sometimes forget that Mary has been with Jonny for a long time. I get the impression she regards him like a son. She never lets her professional guard down, but they share a bond based on mutual respect, trust and loyalty. Jonny tends to do that to people. He gets under your skin and into your heart. Once he’s in there . . . he never leaves.
I kiss her finely wrinkled cheek. “You really are a wonderful woman, Mary.” Her small pale olive eyes glisten and her chin gently quivers as emotion once again gets the better of her.
“Dear Jessica, you will have me looking a proper mess in front of Mr. Riley. But thank you, it really means a lot.”
“Believe me when I say it comes from not just me, but Jonny, too. He is very fond of you and will miss you back. No one cooks a beef stew like you do, Mary. Besides, you will still have me to look after. I am going to need plenty of spoiling in his absence,” I remind her. She’s laughing through her tears now.
We hear Jonny’s rushed footsteps coming back down the stairs and across the hall, Mary decides to make a hasty retreat. Jonny, though flustered and slightly breathless, is broadly grinning. He notices an over-emotional Mary leaving the room and looks to me for an answer.
“Is she okay?”
I softly laugh. “It’s the Jonny Riley effect.”
His eyebrows arch. “The Jonny Riley effect?”
“She’s having a moment, that’s all. She will miss you when you’re in America. Promise me you will have a word with her today?” I ask, pulling on his shirt.
Jonny edges closer. “She knows I’m coming back, right?” His answer is confident and cocky with a wicked, yet deliciously crooked grin. I thump him on the arm so he starts to tickle me. I’m shrieking like a child, which only makes Jonny tickle harder.
“Stop it! I can’t stand it, Jonny! Stop now! Please!” I plead between my squeals and laughter.
“What this?” His fingers playfully dig into my ribs rendering me unable to stand. My high-pitched screams echo around the room. This is naughty Jonny and I’m rather enjoying it. Suddenly, he grabs both sides of my waist. For a minute I fear he is going to start tickling them too, but he doesn’t, he just moves in closer. A husk of a whisper is all I hear. “Or this?” He kisses me hard; a collision of lips with his fingers digging into my hips as he devours me. I am once again putty in his sweet, masculine hands. What has got into him today? He is buoyant, light and sexy as fuck!
“Has someone slipped you a happy pill?” I remain in his arms.
Jonny smiles with a single shake of his head. “No. I’m just happy, Dimples . . . you do that to me.” He runs his fingers through my hair, taking it back off my shoulders and kissing my neck. “In fact I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to have a luncheon at The Broadway Tower?”
“The Broadway?” I ask with a curious smile.
“Why not? It is where we first met and being as it’s our first Christmas together, I thought why don’t we go back there to celebrate?” Jonny asks.
“That’s a lovely idea, when shall we go?” I ask, delighted at the prospect of going to The Broadway with Jonny.
“How about tomorrow?” He asks with a wide grin.
“Tomorrow?”
Jonny grips me tighter, swaying gently. “Why wait? I want to make the most of the time that I am with you.”
I could literally burst at his affectionate words. I feel myself swoon against him. “You are just so perfect, Jonny Riley, and really rather sweet.” I tell him with a loving smile.
Wrapping his lean, comforting and adoring arms around me, Jonny kisses the tip of my nose. “I endeavour to do my best, my beautiful Dimples.” We stand there endearingly encased within each other’s hold. A feeling of peace and serenity surrounds us, with the knowledge that our once passionate affair is now a passionate love.
To return to where we first began is going to be a sweet reminder of just how far we have come together. The butterflies that frantically fluttered all those months ago; have once again returned with the anticipation and sheer excitement of knowing that I will be returning to The Broadway Tower. However, this time, I will be happily and proudly on the arm of my beautiful Jonny.
I am stood in front of the wardrobe with a damp towel wrapped around me after my invigorating shower. Last night I was too excited to get a decent night’s sleep, so I am feeling a little jaded this morning. I turn on my st
ereo, beginning to feel much more peppy with the sound of Alisha’s Attic filling the room. With a sigh, I glance at all my hanging clothes, lingering thoughtfully on each garment as I try to make a decision what to wear. My finger abruptly stops; a fanciful smile crosses my lips. I hold up the red dress I was wearing when I first bumped into Jonny. It is now freshly washed and free of all the creases it once had, yet still drenched in invisibly sweet sentiment.
Jonny was up early as he did a session in the gym, quickly showered and rushed off for an early morning meeting with Jay.
I get ready and go downstairs to have some breakfast. Mary is buttering some freshly cut toasted bread, placing it beside my waiting cup of sweet tea.
“Are there no end to your powers, Mary? You just seem to know when I am coming down.” I ask, taking a bite of my toast.
She sweetly laughs. “Oh, no. I just listen out for you, that’s all. This old body of mine may be giving up on me, but there’s nothing wrong with my ears. Now come and sit down, Jessica, you don’t want your tea getting cold.” She pats the high kitchen stool.
“We have ordered all the Christmas decorations, so they should be here in a few days. Now we just need to get the trees delivered.” I am happily talking, eating and sipping my sweet tea. I enjoy spending quiet moments such as this with Mary.
A Famous Affair Page 35
