The Amish Quiltmaker's Unexpected Baby

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  “First of all,” Mammi said, “you did the right thing with the Band-Aid. You never put a Band-Aid on a six-month-old. She’ll work it off her finger and swallow it. Or worse, choke on it.”

  Esther sniffed into her toilet paper. “I never thought of that.”

  “Your instincts are better than you realize.” Mammi set her bag of fabric next to the chair and sat down. “Every mother has cut her baby’s skin at least once while trying to cut fingernails. I usually snipped fingernails while my babies were asleep. Then at least they didn’t wiggle. Some mothers chew their babies’ fingernails down to size.”

  “She kept scratching herself.”

  “You did the right thing.” Mammi patted Esther’s arm. “Now, Levi is going to sneak into Winnie’s room and snatch up her laundry.”

  Levi scrunched his lips together and gave his mammi the stink eye. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  Mammi wasn’t impressed with his expression. “You’re young and cocky. You’re supposed to be able to do everything.”

  Esther was feeling better enough to giggle.

  Levi should have been offended, but he was one of Mammi’s favorites, so he knew she was teasing. “You’re lucky I greased the hinges on Winnie’s door last week. She kept waking up every time I put her down for a nap and shut the door.”

  “Well then, get to it. I’d like to get a tour of the bathroom and a gute start on Esther’s laundry before we leave.”

  Levi always tried to do as he was told. He tiptoed to Winnie’s room, opened the door, and managed to drag out Winnie’s clothes basket without making a sound, or at least without waking Winnie.

  Mammi was brewing a pot of kaffee when he returned to the kitchen. “I did it,” he said.

  She smiled at him. “Denki. Don’t get a big head.”

  Esther pressed her hand to her forehead, and her fingers found the licorice. She pulled it from behind her ear and curled one side of her mouth. “My breakfast. Winnie started crying, and I forgot to eat it.”

  “You never know when you’re going to need a Twizzler,” Levi said.

  Mammi clucked her tongue. “You’re going to blow away with the wind if you don’t eat better than that.”

  “There’s no time,” Esther said. “And I’m just so tired.”

  Mammi stirred the kaffee and studied Esther’s face. “How long has it been since you’ve had a break from this haus?”

  Esther shrugged. “I’ve played pickleball twice, and Levi took me to the library last week.”

  Mammi shook her head. “That doesn’t count. You need to get out of the house without the baby.”

  “Hannah babysat when I went to quilters group.”

  “Not gute enough,” Mammi said. “You need to go have fun with die youngie, and I’m a very gute babysitter.”

  Esther laughed. “I don’t wonder but you’re the best babysitter there is, but an old maid doesn’t fit in with die youngie.” She glanced at Levi when she said “old,” and Levi’s face warmed with his own embarrassment.

  Only six short weeks ago he’d made it very clear to Esther that she was too old for him, that he wasn’t so desperate as to be interested in a spinster who had been passed over by other boys. If Esther and Mammi hadn’t been in the room, he would have kicked himself.

  Of course Esther belonged with die youngie. She belonged with the quilting ladies and the pickleball team and the volleyball players at the gathering. Esther had that rare ability to fit in everywhere, to be young and mature, smart and capable in any group. Or maybe she just had a special ability to fit in with Levi. He was only beginning to realize how well she fit. She wasn’t a fresh-faced schoolgirl, silly and preoccupied with boys, but Levi didn’t mind that. Adoration from girls fed his pride, but unbridled gushing got old after a while. Would he find more of the same in Ohio? What he needed was a girl like Esther: smart, feisty, determined, and teachable, eager to learn, with a bad temper and a gute throwing arm.

  Mammi poured all three of them some kaffee and slid the mugs onto the table. “I’m sixty-nine years old, Esther. I can truthfully and happily say I don’t fit in with die youngie. But you’re a spring chicken and too young to be spending your life sitting on the bathroom floor crying your eyes out.”

  Esther waved her licorice in Levi’s direction. “Ach. You caught me in a moment of weakness. I’m fine. When I realized I shut the laundry in the only room I couldn’t go in, I sort of snapped. Under normal circumstances I’d throw a chair or something to make myself feel better. It won’t happen again. I’m not usually a crier.”

  A chair? Levi had never seen Esther throw a chair. That was something he’d pay money to see.

  “I know your behavior isn’t normal,” Mammi said. “That’s why you need a break. You snapped like a piece of dried-out licorice. There’s a gathering tonight, and you’re going.” Mammi took a sip of kaffee and peered at Levi over the rim of her cup. “I’ll be here at six to babysit, and Ben will drive you to the gathering.”

  Ben? What was Mammi thinking? Ben was Levi’s younger bruder and a completely unsuitable choice to take Esther anywhere. Levi loved his brother, but Ben wasn’t especially responsible when it came to buggies or girls or life.

  “Ben?” Esther asked, glancing at Levi doubtfully. She was wise to be wary. “You mean Levi’s brother Ben?”

  Mammi was obviously thrilled with the prospect of Ben driving Esther to the gathering. “Have you met him?”

  “Nae,” Esther said. “But Levi has told me a lot about him.”

  Mammi seemed to love that bit of information. “Really? You’ve spent enough time together to hear about Levi’s family? How nice.”

  Levi pressed his lips into a hard line. Mammi wouldn’t think it was so nice if she knew he’d told Esther about the chickens that mysteriously got trapped in the school. Eight years ago, Ben and some friends had locked a flock of chickens in the school over the weekend. The mess on Monday morning was disgusting. Levi cleared his throat. “Ben doesn’t like gatherings. He wasn’t planning to go.”

  Mammi didn’t seem to care that Ben was a horrible choice. “Ach, he’ll go if I ask him, especially if he has a chance to drive a pretty girl. Besides, he can’t make trouble if he’s at the gathering.” She gave Esther a reassuring smile, and it was completely fake. “I’m not saying he’ll make trouble. Ben is a gute boy, and I’m sure Levi told you how nice-looking he is. He’ll get you to the gathering in one piece.”

  Esther tied her strand of licorice into a knot. “Really, Nanna. I don’t need to go to the gathering. I’ll feel out of place, like a dandelion in a field of clover. I won’t have a gute time.”

  Levi nodded. Esther shouldn’t go to the gathering, but not because she was a dandelion. She’d be more like a rose among the ragweed.

  “Stuff and nonsense,” Mammi said. “Everybody loves Ben. He’s friendly and funny, and he’ll watch out for you. Nobody can make me laugh like Ben.”

  Annoyance buzzed in Levi’s ear like a mosquito. He loved his bruder, but somebody in this room had to put his foot down. “Ben is irresponsible, unreliable, and he smokes like a chimney, Mammi. I can’t let you do that to Esther. It would be better for her to stay home.”

  Mammi peered at Levi as if she was thinking about arithmetic and a new watercolor quilt pattern. “Ach, vell. Esther needs to get out of the haus, so I suppose you’ll have to take her.”

  Esther lowered her eyes and took a bite of licorice. “Levi doesn’t want to take me.”

  Of course he didn’t want to take her, but not for the reasons she might have thought. She’d have a terrible time.

  “Levi wouldn’t mind at all. Would you, Levi?” Mammi gazed at him as if all her hopes and dreams lived in his answer.

  He cleared his throat. Against his better judgment, he’d have to agree. It was either Levi or Ben. And Mammi was blind when it came to Ben’s shortcomings. “I don’t mind.”

  Esther shook her head. “I suppose I should be more blunt. I don’t want
Levi to take me.”

  Levi tried not to show his surprise. Esther didn’t want Levi to take her to the gathering? Why not? They’d been getting along so well. Was she still mad at him for calling her old? Was she embarrassed to be seen with him because she was so much more mature? What was wrong with him?

  He straightened his shoulders. What was wrong with her? Levi was a gute catch, handsome and good-natured. What girl wouldn’t want him to drive her to the gathering? This was definitely Esther’s problem, not his.

  So why was he having trouble swallowing?

  Mammi seemed more perplexed than ever. “You don’t want to go with Levi?”

  Thank you, Mammi. He wasn’t the only one who recognized how strange Esther was acting. What girl in her right mind wouldn’t want to go to the gathering with Levi?

  Esther gave Mammi a wry smile. “Levi shouldn’t be shackled to an old maid when there are other friends he could be spending time with at the gathering. I want him to have a gute time.”

  Ach. Was that all? He didn’t care if Esther’s presence discouraged other girls, and she’d attract a lot of attention from his friends. He drew his brows together. He really didn’t want Esther to go to that gathering. She had a gute life with Winnie and her quilts and her bathroom remodel. Why would Mammi want to mess up such a well-ordered routine? “I don’t mind going to the gathering with you, but all we do is eat and play volleyball, and most of die youngie aren’t very good players. You won’t have a gute time.”

  Mammi grunted. “Why all this talk of not having a gute time? Of course you’ll have a gute time. Esther will be able to get out of the house and feel like herself again.”

  Esther shrugged. “I didn’t get out of the house much before.”

  Mammi waved that observation away like a pesky fly. “Stuff and nonsense, Esther. You’re going to that gathering.” She turned on Levi like a cat on a mouse. “And Levi is going to take you.”

  Levi put his hands in the air in surrender. “Okay, Mammi. Okay.” His heart beat faster. Was it with excitement or dread? He didn’t want to know.

  Esther wasn’t so compliant. “Nanna, I can’t impose on you or Levi like that. When Winnie goes down to bed, I’ll go outside and thin apricots.”

  Levi nearly spoke up. He’d seen Esther thin apricots. Her method wasn’t good for the lawn, the apricots, or the kitchen window.

  Thank Derr Herr, Mammi had enough sense to say something. “That is not getting away. That’s just going outside. Levi is coming to pick you up, and I’ll be here to babysit. You’re going to have fun.” When Mammi said it like that, everyone knew the discussion was over. Having fun was an order, and there was nothing Esther or Levi could do about it.

  Esther pressed her lips together, glanced at Levi, and took a bite of licorice. “It sounds like more fun to thin apricots.”

  Levi tried not to take it personally.

  * * *

  This was a very wonderful bad idea. Esther did not want to go to a gathering. She did not want to impose on Nanna Kiem, and she certainly did not want to be more of a bother to Levi than she already was. The look on his face when Nanna ordered him to take Esther to the gathering told Esther all she needed to know about what Levi thought of that idea. He’d tried to talk Nanna out of it. Esther grunted in annoyance as she slammed her bonnet onto her head. She wouldn’t be surprised if Levi thought Esther had put his mammi up to it.

  Levi Kiem could just drive his buggy into the lake if he thought for one minute she wanted to go anywhere with him. She wasn’t interested in being a burden on anyone, especially Levi, who thought she was old and desperate and who was going to Ohio to find a fraa because he couldn’t convince anyone in Byler to marry him. Who was the desperate one now?

  Winnie was sitting on the floor playing with a set of stacking cups Levi had brought for her. She was too young to stack or nest them, so she just moved them around with her hands and occasionally put one in her mouth to see what it tasted like. Esther never could understand why everything went into Winnie’s mouth, except maybe babies were like goats. Her brother kept a few goats, and they liked to investigate their world by testing things with their tongues. That’s how goats had gotten the reputation for eating everything, when in reality they just liked to explore their surroundings.

  Winnie had a fresh diaper and a full stomach. All Nanna would have to do was put her to bed in about half an hour. Half an hour was all it was, and this whole thing was silly. Esther didn’t need to escape from her life. She needed to learn how to handle the life she’d been given. She wouldn’t be able to do that at a gathering where all the girls were ten years younger and all the boys were practically children. She’d much rather stay home than try to make idle conversation. She’d met most of die youngie at gmay, and while they had all been kind to her, she was too old to relate to any of them. Certainly too old to find any friends at the gathering.

  She should have been perfectly miserable, but her heart skipped a beat when she thought about being with Levi—even at a gathering. Levi was pleasant and easygoing. He knew how to talk her down from a temper tantrum and make her laugh at a stupid joke. Tonight he’d try to make her feel comfortable with die youngie and maybe even play on her team in volleyball. Of course, he might decide his duty ended when they got to the gathering, and he’d leave her to fend for herself and run off to be with his real friends, his friends who weren’t old or tied down by a baby. That could happen too.

  Esther frowned. Levi was young, but he wasn’t insensitive. He’d stay by her side the whole evening if she wanted him to. She sniffed in irritation. She didn’t want him to stay by her side. She didn’t want to impose.

  She didn’t want to go to a gathering with Levi.

  She didn’t want to go anywhere with Levi.

  She didn’t want to go anywhere at all.

  Esther snatched the bonnet off her head, hung it on the hook, and knelt next to Winnie. “Don’t you worry, heartzley. I’ve changed my mind. I’m staying in tonight.” She’d much rather tear all those fragrant little berries off her red cedar bush and throw them at her mailbox. Levi would probably do a happy little jig when he found out he wouldn’t have to take her after all. Nanna would just have to manage her disappointment.

  She steeled her resolve when she heard the knock on the door, only sorry Levi and Nanna had made the trip over for nothing. She opened the door. Nanna and Levi stood on the porch, Nanna with the tote bag she carried everywhere and Levi with a bouquet of flowers and a pair of pliers. Ach. Not flowers! How was she supposed to cling to her iron resolve when he brought her flowers? She pretended not to see them. “Nanna, I’ve decided I’m not going tonight. It’s been a long day with Winnie, and I’m wonderful tired.” That was all true and reasonable. Nanna knew what it was like to care for a buplie all day.

  Nanna didn’t even acknowledge Esther’s hard life. She stepped cheerfully over the threshold. “Levi brought you flowers.”

  Levi seemed almost embarrassed. He held up the flowers in one hand and the pliers in the other. “They’re from the side of the road,” he said, as if he was apologizing.

  Maybe he didn’t need to apologize. Maybe Esther liked the thought of a bouquet of wildflowers.

  “And there’s a stray piece of metal sticking out of your doorjamb right here. I brought my pliers to pull it out so no one will snag their bonnets or hats.”

  Stray piece of metal?

  Ach.

  Her fallen seam ripper.

  She really must learn how to control her temper, or at least take her anger out on things that wouldn’t leave a permanent mark. “You didn’t need to bring me flowers. No one ever has.”

  Levi didn’t answer. He handed Esther the bouquet and got to work on that piece of her seam ripper stuck in the wood. Esther lowered her head and smelled the flowers. Honeysuckle. Delicious. No wonder the bees loved it.

  Nanna grinned. “Hasn’t a boy ever brought you flowers?”

  Esther shook her head. Menno had never give
n her flowers, not even when he’d proposed. Esther hadn’t expected him to. It wasn’t something the Amish did. “Amish men don’t give flowers.”

  Nanna picked Winnie up from the floor. “We definitely need to start a new tradition. Women love getting flowers.”

  Esther turned to Levi. “Denki for the flowers, but like I said, I’m wonderful tired. I’m staying in tonight.”

  Holding Winnie in one arm, Nanna took the bouquet from Esther’s hand. “You can sleep when you’re dead. Levi, have you finished with that door yet?”

  “Jah, Mammi.” Levi showed them his pair of pliers with the pointy end of her seam ripper between its jaws. “It wasn’t no trouble to pull it out. Do you want to keep it, Esther?”

  Did she want to keep it? Maybe to remind herself why her seam ripper got stabbed into the doorjamb in the first place. Maybe to remember how Levi thought she was old. She should carry it in her apron pocket and press it between her finger and thumb whenever she got the notion that Levi Kiem might be the least bit interested in her. That seam ripper would remind her how mortified she’d been that day and that she would never let herself be taken in by a handsome face again. She held out her hand. “Jah. I think I’ll keep it. Denki.”

  “Be careful,” he said, dropping it into her palm. “It’s sharp.”

  Nanna held Esther’s flowers and bounced Winnie on her hip. “All right then. Get going before the gathering ends.” She snatched Esther’s bonnet from the hook and sort of smashed it onto her head. Esther opened her mouth to protest, but Nanna cut her off. “I won’t hear any excuses. Go have a wunderbarr time.”

  Resigned to her fate, Esther straightened the bonnet and tied it under her chin. “Winnie can go down at about seven. If you feed her a bottle right before—”

  “I know,” Nanna said, shooing Esther out the door like a stray cat.

  Esther sighed, then left as if she was going to her own funeral. Levi led the way to his buggy, acting almost cheerful at the thought of having to take Esther to the gathering. Maybe he was just pretending, but when he turned around and winked at her, Esther wasn’t so sure about that.