Ivy’s reaction was just what Esther had expected and hoped for. She groaned and tossed her head back. “I think I’d rather break my other collarbone.”
Esther laughed. “I know you’re bored, but nobody ever died of boredom.”
“I’m sure I’ll be the first.”
“Maybe you could start thinking of ways you could earn money. You could get a job at the gas station, or maybe at the local coffee shop.”
“I refuse to work fast food. The hats they make you wear are ridiculous. And I’m not doing any sort of manual labor. I’m not built for it.” Ivy fingered the feathers in her ears. “I’ve always wanted to make earrings to sell, my own special creations, but you can’t make a living selling jewelry. Everybody knows that.”
“Let’s not think too far into the future.” Esther wasn’t about to tell Ivy about her share of Mamm and Dat’s money. Ivy wasn’t ready to act responsibly with it. She was just as sure as Ivy was that they shouldn’t live together. Esther couldn’t stand the thought of Ivy in her home, destroying her peace, invading her privacy. But she couldn’t broach the subject of Ivy’s moving out until she was sure Ivy wouldn’t take Winnie.
“I’m moving to my own place as soon as I can, someplace with electricity to plug in a DVD player.” Ivy hadn’t mentioned Winnie. That was gute. The less she thought about Winnie, the better.
“Once your collarbone is healed and you get your strength back, we can make a plan.”
Ivy shook her head. “I don’t need a plan. I need a man.”
“You don’t need a man.”
“You don’t need a man, because you’ve always been coldhearted like that. I need someone to love. I need someone to love me.”
Ivy didn’t realize that the someone she was talking about was sitting in a high chair not three feet away from her. What would Esther do if Ivy ever figured that out?
Chapter Nine
Levi hitched the horse to the buggy, thought better of it, and unhitched the horse again. He went back into the house and tried to read the Budget newspaper. After five minutes of reading the same sentence eleven times, he went back to the barn and hitched up the buggy again. His indecision was ridiculous as well as time-consuming.
He shoved his hand in his pocket, pulled out her letter, and read it for the hundredth time. It was aggravatingly short and completely impossible to understand.
Dear Levi,
Please don’t come this week to work on the bathroom. Or the next week. Please stay away until I contact you again.
Esther
Should he go to Esther’s or not? Would she be mad if he showed up when she had specifically asked him not to? Or would she be grateful that he’d sensed she needed help but couldn’t bring herself to ask for it?
Why didn’t Esther want him to come over? Was she mad at him? Was she sick of him coming over and invading her privacy? Did she not like him anymore?
His mind went over the last time they had been together. They had met with the lawyer about the adoption, and Esther had been quite discouraged about the time and the paperwork it would take to adopt Winnie, not to mention the fact that Ivy was unpredictable. If she wanted to take Winnie away tomorrow, she could do it, and neither Esther nor Levi would have any say in it. It was disheartening, and Esther seemed to be taking it harder and harder with every passing day.
Maybe she spent her days sitting on the unfinished bathroom floor crying her eyes out. Maybe she was embarrassed to have Levi see her like that. Didn’t she know that showing vulnerability made her seem human? Attainable? Levi liked to feel needed, especially by Esther. He liked feeling like he was of use to her, like she needed him and only him.
Imagining Esther sitting on the bathroom floor, he slid the note in his pocket and climbed into the buggy. He couldn’t stay away when Esther needed him so badly. And if she was mad at him, it was better to talk things through than let them fester. Besides, that bathroom wasn’t going to finish itself. Maybe Esther didn’t want to impose on Levi’s time any more than she already had, but if she thought she could manage the bathroom without Levi, she was sorely mistaken. She was good with a hammer, but she wouldn’t be able to figure out how to cut and lay tile.
And what she didn’t realize was that Levi didn’t mind working on her bathroom. Okay, not only did he not mind it—the time he spent at Esther’s house was the happiest part of his week. Seeing Winnie was one reason, of course, but it was Esther he couldn’t stop thinking about. Esther was funny and genuine. She didn’t pretend to be someone she wasn’t or someone other people thought she should be. She was just her delightful, quirky self. Who else would wear a carrot behind her ear or use a cooking thermometer to test the bathwater? Who else would throw little green apricots and take out her frustrations on the bathroom rug? She had a terrible, wonderful temper and a tendency to fret about the people she loved, especially Winnie.
For sure and certain she’d be mad at him for not heeding her note, but he wanted to help her, and more importantly, he wanted to be with her. Selfish or not, he was going.
His resolve weakened as the buggy approached Esther’s house. Mary Jane told him he had too high an opinion of himself. Maybe Esther didn’t want him around because she’d found someone else to finish her bathroom—maybe somebody she preferred over Levi. Maybe she’d met a pickleball player who talked sweet and knew all about tile and particleboard. Levi’s heart sank. How could she do this to him, drop him like a hot potato, as if he didn’t have feelings? As if he hadn’t already spent hours working on her bathroom?
Esther’s house came into view, and Levi took a deep breath. How many expert tile layers played pickleball? Probably zero. He was all worked up for nothing. Esther might find him aggravating, but she liked him well enough. She wouldn’t let someone else finish her bathroom without talking to Levi first.
Would she?
And how well did Esther really like him? Maybe she was just putting up with him for the sake of her bathroom and Winnie. His gut clenched. Was Esther just putting up with him? He didn’t know if he wanted the answer to that question.
He pulled up in front of Esther’s house. It didn’t look as if there was another man in there working on the tile, but Levi couldn’t be sure. There were no broken windows, no apricots smashed against the walls, no flowers uprooted from their beds. If Esther had gotten angry, she hadn’t taken her anger out on anything in the front yard.
Ignoring his misgivings, Levi set the brake and jumped down from the buggy. He walked across the lawn and knocked on the door, ready to duck or apologize or both if need be. He needed to see Esther. He needed to be with Esther. He was willing to take the risk.
If Esther had thrown a rock at his head, he couldn’t have been more shocked at the sight that met him. A young woman with feathers dangling from her ears and one arm in a sling answered the door. She was taller and had a lighter complexion than Esther, but there was no mistaking the resemblance. She and Esther had the same blue-green eyes and the same well-defined, dark eyebrows. She was impossibly skinny, and there were dark circles under her eyes, but Esther had been right. Ivy was a beauty. Not as striking as Esther, but still wonderful pretty.
Ach. Ivy was back. And this was why Esther wanted him to stay away.
She raised an eyebrow and looked Levi up and down as if he was a horse and she was thinking about buying him. “Well. How nice. How surprising. A handsome Amish boy. Esther has been holding out on me.”
For a split second, Levi thought about running back to his buggy and driving away as if he’d accidentally come to the wrong house. Esther had said she couldn’t predict how Ivy would act or react to anything. Surely Esther wanted Levi to stay away just in case he made things worse. Esther was trying to control as much of the situation as she could, and he had just ruined it. “Um,” he said, his mind racing for the perfect words to convince Ivy to go away, leave Winnie here, and sign the adoption papers all at the same time. Maybe he was expecting a little too much of himself, but he certai
nly wanted to fix things for Esther.
Ivy leaned her good shoulder against the doorjamb. “A handsome Amish guy who doesn’t say much. I like you already.”
Esther appeared from the kitchen with Winnie in her arms and a plastic fork behind her ear. When she caught sight of Levi, she frowned and her eyes flashed with anger, but whether she was mad at Levi or Ivy, Levi couldn’t tell. Like as not, she was mad at both of them. He should have stayed away.
Ivy’s back was to her, so she didn’t see the turmoil on Esther’s face. Levi felt lower than the dirt. What had he done? Esther pressed her lips together and closed her eyes for a brief moment. When she opened her eyes, she had made some sort of decision. She bloomed into a smile, one that looked sincere even if it might not have been, and bounced Winnie on her hip as if it was just a normal day and she was happy to see him. “Why, hello, Levi. I wasn’t expecting you, but today is as good a day as any.” Esther turned to Ivy. “This is Levi Kiem. He is helping me remodel that bathroom in the back hall.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ivy said, letting her hand linger in Levi’s for a second too long.
“Nice to meet you, Ivy.”
Ivy smirked. “How did you know my name?” She smiled wider, as if she’d just discovered a big secret. “Esther, I’ve never known you to be a gossip. You’ve been talking about me behind my back.”
Esther stiffened, but Ivy didn’t seem to notice. “You’ve been gone for eight years, Ivy. I’ve become a terrible gossip.”
Levi laughed nervously. “Not at all. When I started on the bathroom, I was curious whose beautiful baby this was.”
Esther’s posture got even more rigid. He’d been there two minutes, and he’d already made about ten mistakes.
Ivy suddenly took notice of Winnie as if she hadn’t cared very much before. She stroked Winnie’s hand and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. “She is beautiful, isn’t she? She has my eyes.”
Levi’s heart sank. Esther’s greatest hope was that Ivy wouldn’t care about Winnie at all, that she would gladly leave her again and disappear from her life. Ivy wouldn’t disappear if she felt something for her daughter. Ach. He was hurting Esther just by being here. He held her gaze for a second with an unspoken apology. She nodded slightly. “I should probably go. I can come back another time.”
Ivy’s gaze flicked from Levi to Esther. “Are you two a thing?”
“A thing?” Levi said.
“Dating. Are you dating? Have you driven her home from a gathering yet? You know, have you participated in any of those charming little courting rituals the Amish like to do?”
“Of course not,” Esther said, forcing a laugh. “Levi is helping me with the bathroom, that’s all.”
Ivy snorted in amusement and disbelief. “Sure he is.”
Esther’s face turned red, but Levi could tell she was trying to remain calm. “You can think anything you want, Ivy.”
Levi nodded vigorously. Obviously Esther didn’t want Ivy to think there was anything between them, not even friendship. “I’m just helping Esther with the bathroom.”
Ivy scrunched her lips to one side of her face and drilled her gaze into Levi’s skull. “You seem pretty comfortable with each other.”
Esther rolled her eyes. “For crying out loud, Ivy, I’m six years older than he is. He thinks I’m an old lady.”
Levi laughed again, and it sounded completely unnatural. “Jah. She’s an old lady.” He felt horrible saying it, even though he was pretty sure that was what Esther wanted. Esther wasn’t old. She was just right. But if she wanted Ivy to believe he was just there to do tile, then he’d act as if he was just there to do tile. He’d probably done enough damage for one day. He cleared his throat. “I can see this is a bad time. I’ll come back another day.”
“Nae,” Esther said, her voice cheerful and light. “You might as well come in since you’ve come all this way. We can get started laying the tile.”
Since it seemed that Levi had messed up Esther’s first plan, which included keeping him away from the house, he would go along with whatever alternate strategy she was hatching. As sad as it was, Esther had to have a strategy when it came to Ivy. Esther’s new plan seemed to be proving to Ivy that Levi was just an acquaintance, that they felt nothing for each other but indifference, and that she didn’t care if Levi was here or not. He just hoped it would work on Ivy. If she was as smart as Esther, she wouldn’t be fooled.
Esther smiled at Ivy. “You should come and see what Levi and I have been working on.”
“Okay,” Ivy said. “I like tile.”
Esther seemed to wilt, as if she hadn’t been expecting Ivy to be interested in bathroom tile. Maybe Ivy wasn’t interested in tile. Maybe she had a strategy of her own.
Ivy smiled at Levi and touched his arm. He clenched his teeth. “I love a man who’s handy around the house.”
Esther had laid out all the tile, the whole bathroom floor, in her watercolor pattern. It was going to be a truly wunderbarr floor, like a stunning quilt or a painting. He continually marveled at Esther’s many talents.
Levi knew instinctively he shouldn’t gush over it. “That looks gute,” he said, pretending he hadn’t looked at it very hard.
“Oh, Esther,” Ivy said, “why go to all that work? It’s just a floor.”
Esther shrugged, as if the floor meant nothing to her. “It was a gute way to save money on tile.”
“Well, you were always stingy like that, just like Dat. Wouldn’t spend a dime on anything pretty to save his life. Your floor is going to take hours with all those little squares. Seems like such a waste.”
The true waste was Ivy’s shorts. There wasn’t enough fabric to cover her underwear, let alone her legs. Levi hoped Ivy hadn’t paid a lot of money for them. “Let’s get started, then,” Levi said, sliding his backpack off his shoulders.
“Oh, Levi,” Ivy said, almost tragically, “I wish I could help you, but I’ve only got one good arm.”
Levi couldn’t resist shooting a grin in Esther’s direction. “Ach, vell. It doesn’t matter. I hold Winnie while Esther does all the work.”
Ivy frowned. “I’ve already asked Esther not to call her that.”
“What? Winnie?” Levi said. “That isn’t Esther’s doing. I gave the baby that nickname. It’s easier to say.”
Ivy pressed her lips together and sniffed exactly once. “You made it up?”
“Don’t you think it’s cute?”
Ivy hesitated. “I . . . I guess so, but Esther should have asked my permission first.”
If only there had been some way to reach you. If only Esther hadn’t sat at the library for over an hour waiting for your call.
“Well, it was my fault,” Levi said. “Be mad at me, not Esther.”
“Nobody should be mad at anybody,” Esther said.
“You know,” Ivy said, “I actually love Winnie for a nickname. You’re brilliant, Levi.” Ivy patted Winnie on the head and smoothed her hand down Winnie’s hair. “Winnie. It fits her, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” Levi said, because what else was there to say?
Ivy played with one of the feathers dangling from her ear. “You take care of Winter—Winnie—while Esther works on the bathroom?”
“When Winnie naps, we work together, but Esther asked me to teach her how to do the floor, so I play with Winnie while she works.”
Ivy’s lips curled into a smile. “Do you change diapers too?”
“Sometimes. Esther mostly does it.”
Ivy seemed to adore that answer. “An Amish boy who changes diapers and plays with the baby? I never would have believed it. Is there anything you don’t do, Superman?”
The hall seemed to shrink as Ivy walked toward him. He sidled backward until he found himself trapped against the wall. “I’ve got some other supplies in the wagon,” he said, sliding sideways out of Ivy’s reach. “I’ll go get them.”
Ivy didn’t seem to notice his resistance. “I’ll go with you, in case you need he
lp carrying anything.”
Levi gave her a polite smile. “That’s nice, but it wouldn’t be right if I let you carry anything, not with that injured arm.”
“Then I’ll keep you company.”
Levi didn’t need any company, but he wasn’t going to try to make a run for it. Ivy might get suspicious. He walked down the hall, and Ivy followed him through the kitchen and out the front door. He tried to think of something to start up a conversation—one he wasn’t really interested in having. “What did you do to your shoulder?”
Ivy blushed and paused as if trying to decide what to say. “I’ve only told my sister. Can you keep a secret?”
He didn’t want to know any of Ivy’s secrets. “I can’t.”
Ivy giggled. “Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. You seem like a compassionate person. I’m sure I can trust you.”
She seemed to be trying to get him to act or respond a certain way. He wasn’t interested in playing her game. “You shouldn’t trust someone you just met.”
Ivy hesitated briefly, then plunged ahead, despite his discouragement. “Oh, Levi, I’ve had a very hard life. My boyfriend hit me and broke my collarbone.”
Levi flinched. He certainly couldn’t be insensitive to that. “Ach. I’m sorry. No man should hit a woman. It’s not right.”
Ivy sighed. “That’s when I knew I couldn’t stay with him anymore. I came straight here. I knew Esther would take care of me.”
Anger bubbled in Levi’s throat even as a ribbon of warmth curled down his spine. Ivy had treated Esther very poorly, and Esther had shown Ivy kindness in return. “Esther is nice like that,” he said. He wanted to say more, much more, about Esther. How she took care of Winnie and how she constantly worried about Ivy. About what a gute friend she was to Levi’s mammi and how she never thought about herself. He didn’t dare say any of that. Ivy would suspect they were more than acquaintances.
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