The Amish Quiltmaker's Unexpected Baby

by Jennifer Beckstrand

His heart sank when Ivy answered the door. She was dressed Englisch again: short shorts, feather earrings, and the tattoo that looked like a bruise on her thigh. He expected her to spit at him or slam the door in his face or even sneer, but she gave him a dazzlingly fake smile that alarmed him more than anything spiteful she could have done. “Levi. I guess it’s not your fault you’re here. I didn’t make myself clear this morning.” She was all sugar and syrup and insincerity, and Levi’s throat dried out like sawdust on a hot day.

  “I’m sorry, Ivy. I don’t mean to upset you. I just need to talk to Esther.”

  Ivy laughed, but there was no happiness in it. “You didn’t upset me. I’m a little annoyed that I wasted my time, but I’m not upset in the least. I mean, who really, sincerely wants to marry an Amish boy?”

  She was upset all right. He could see it in the set of her chin and the fire in her eyes, but he wasn’t about to argue with her. She was trying to salvage her pride, and he couldn’t fault her for that. “Okay. Ach, vell, I’m glad to hear it. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t,” she said, spitting the words at him like poison.

  Okay. No more apologizing. Apologies obviously made Ivy feel weak and pitiful. He cleared his throat. “It wonders me if Esther is home.”

  “She is,” Ivy said. “But that is really not your concern.”

  “I need to talk to her.”

  Esther suddenly appeared behind Ivy. Her face was pale and gaunt, her blue-green eyes dull and unfocused. Ivy glanced back. “There really isn’t anything to say.”

  “Yes, there is,” Levi said. He looked at Esther. “Could you come out and talk for a minute?”

  Ivy shut the door halfway. “She really can’t. We’re both tired and grumpy, and we’ve got to clean the kitchen before bed.”

  Levi jumped at this opportunity. “I can help.”

  Ivy shook her head. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

  “I just . . . please don’t be mad, Ivy. I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am.”

  Ivy’s fake smile faltered before she pasted it back in place. “You didn’t hurt me.” Ach. Why was he so stupid? “I’m sorry you came all this way, but I can’t allow you in the house. You’re a bad influence, and I won’t have you hanging around Winnie. As her mother, her protection is my first priority.”

  Levi’s mouth fell open. Ivy wouldn’t allow him into Esther’s house? Was Ivy in charge now? He glanced in Esther’s direction, and the pain in her eyes stunned him. Of course Ivy was in charge. She had something that Esther wanted more than life itself. “What would it hurt to let me talk to Esther?”

  Ivy propped her arm on the doorjamb, as if barring Levi’s way if he was so foolish as to try to force his way into the house. “You used me,” she hissed, losing any semblance of calm cheerfulness. “You’re a liar and a hypocrite, and I won’t let my daughter or my sister have anything to do with you. I’m only thinking of Winnie’s safety. I’m a good mother, and good mothers protect their children. If Esther does anything to endanger my child”—Ivy narrowed her eyes—“and that means associating with you, I’ll take Winnie and go to California.”

  The pain clawed at Levi like some desperate animal wild to escape. This was worse than he had ever imagined it could be. Ivy was worse than he ever could have believed. He had to fix it. He had to fix it now. He pinned Ivy with a withering stare. “Not even you would be that cruel. You love Esther. Esther loves you. Don’t do this.”

  Ivy folded her arms across her chest. “If Esther truly loves me, she’ll do what’s best for my daughter, and forget about you and your hurtful lies.”

  Levi was stunned and horrified and devastated. Esther had warned him. He hadn’t realized how deftly Ivy could turn things to her advantage, how she could twist the truth to make it serve her, how she could plot the perfect revenge. He was lost on the lake without a paddle. And even if he had a paddle, he wouldn’t know what side of the lake to row to. “But I don’t think Esther—”

  Esther pled with her eyes. “Please, Levi. Just go. Just go.”

  Ivy’s smug smile came back. “Yes. Please go. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be in Ohio looking for a wife?”

  Levi could barely speak. On top of everything else, was Esther angry at him for even mentioning the adoption papers? Maybe she would never forgive him for ruining the delicate balance she had built with Ivy. “I . . . was . . . am leaving in a couple of days.”

  “Well, good. As far as I’m concerned, you can stay in Ohio forever. Don’t you agree, Esther?”

  Esther lowered her eyes. “Yes. Please just go.”

  There was nothing else to do. Esther was trapped by her love for Winnie, and she certainly felt deep resentment for him, or she might have tried to stand up for herself. His heart broke into a million pieces while he stood on the porch and tried to breathe normally. He gazed at Esther, hoping she saw everything he couldn’t say. But maybe she didn’t want to see it, and maybe a glance between them would only make things worse.

  Winnie began to cry in the next room. Ivy rolled her eyes. “Look what you did now? It took her more than an hour to go to sleep. Go away, Levi, and quit hurting this family.”

  Since Winnie was already awake, Ivy had no reason to be quiet. With one last scowl in his direction, she slammed the door, leaving him standing on the step gasping for air.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Smiling, Esther wet a dish towel and wiped the smeared baby food off Winnie’s face. Winnie had strange taste. She loved green beans but hated peaches. She adored carrots but wouldn’t touch a banana. Esther made a beeping noise and touched Winnie’s nose with the towel. Winnie giggled and reached out her arms, ready for Esther to free her from the high chair. Esther unbuckled Winnie and picked her up. Placing a tender kiss on the top of Winnie’s head, Esther clutched Winnie in her arms, squeezing tighter and longer than usual. Who knew how much time they had left together? Ivy could change her mind tomorrow, leave town, and take Winnie and Esther’s heart with her.

  Esther vowed to do whatever she must to make sure Ivy never left, and that meant keeping Ivy happy, no matter what. After not quite a week, her plan seemed to be working. Esther’s life went on much as it had before, caring for Winnie and making quilts while Winnie napped or played on the floor beside her. Ivy paid attention to Winnie when it was convenient or when she wanted to remind Esther who was in control. And Ivy was very much in control.

  She did less work around the house than ever, but if Esther complained about it, Ivy would threaten to take Winnie away. I’m not the maid, Esther. You can clean your own house. I never had to clean when I lived with Jordan’s stepmom. Maybe I’ll go back and take Winnie just to get you off my back. So Esther stayed quiet about the housework.

  After that first night when Ivy had snatched Winnie from Esther’s arms, Ivy had let Esther deal with Winnie. Ivy didn’t know how to put Winnie down for a nap or to bed. She didn’t know how to give Winnie a bath or what to feed her, and she didn’t have the patience to learn. Ivy was just relieved that Esther knew how to stop the crying. Ivy turned Winnie over to Esther out of impatience and sheer frustration. Esther couldn’t have been happier about that. Ivy couldn’t take care of Winnie by herself, and it gave Esther a small bit of power.

  A small bit. But it was something.

  She had in effect become Ivy’s maid and nanny, but it wasn’t much different than before Ivy had come back, so her life was bearable, and Winnie was still here. But Esther wasn’t happy. She still had Winnie, but she’d lost Levi. Ivy had forced her to make a terrible choice, and Levi was the price she’d had to pay.

  Esther pressed her lips to Winnie’s forehead. She longed for Levi, ached for him like she had never ached for Menno. If she lived to be a thousand, she would never forget the look on his face when she had told him to go away. Was he hurt that she had chosen Winnie over him? Or did he simply feel bad about the way things had turned out? Was he sad he wouldn’t see Winnie anymore? Would he miss Esther’
s friendship? Did he care for her at all? Or did he think she was too old and too temperamental for him?

  For sure and certain he felt bad about the way things had turned out. Maybe he even felt responsible for how Ivy had reacted. He should have waited. He should have consulted with Esther. But Esther hadn’t spent a moment of anger on him. He had done what he thought was right, and Esther couldn’t fault him for that. All she could feel was gratitude, gratitude that he had tried to help her and gratitude that he cared enough to try. And a yearning so deep, she felt the ache clear to her bones.

  Because, when all was said and done, he hadn’t asked Ivy to marry him. He didn’t love Ivy. He probably didn’t even like her. It gave Esther a small measure of comfort. She needed all the comfort and good memories she could get.

  Ivy came into the kitchen. She was wearing the only blouse she owned that had sleeves and jeans that only had a few holes. She smiled that fake, taunting smile that she wore most days and stroked the back of her finger down Winnie’s cheek. Winnie grimaced and turned away. “She’s so cute. Isn’t she cute, Esther?”

  “Adorable.”

  “She sort of looks like Jordan around the eyes. His stepmom would love to meet her.”

  Just another one of Ivy’s daily reminders that she had the power to upend Esther’s life in a heartbeat. “I think she looks more like you. As a baby, you could have been her twin.”

  Ivy’s smile grew in warmth. “You remember what I looked like as a baby?”

  Esther nodded. “You were a pretty little thing, just like Winnie. You had a little dimple on your cheek when you smiled. Mamm would hold you on her lap, and I would play peekaboo with you just so we could see that dimple.”

  “Were you jealous when I came? Some kids get jealous when a new baby comes.”

  “I was wonderful glad to finally have a sister,” Esther said. She stifled a sigh. It had been a long time since she had been glad to have a sister.

  Ivy seemed pleased with her answer. “Some kids are jealous.” She studied Esther’s face and played with her earrings. “Well, anyway. That was a long time ago. You’re jealous enough of me now.”

  “I’m not jealous.”

  “Of course you are. Levi paid more attention to me than he ever gave to you.”

  Esther longed to point out that, in the end, Levi hadn’t wanted Ivy, but she didn’t want to provoke her sister. “For sure and certain he enjoyed your company.”

  “And of course you’re jealous because I have Winter and you’ll never be a mother.”

  Esther didn’t know what Ivy wanted her to say. Was she deliberately trying to be cruel, or just reminding Esther of the hard truth?

  Ivy sat down at the table. “What’s for breakfast? Why don’t you make me some of your blueberry muffins?”

  “They will take some time to bake.”

  “Okay. How about crepes? You used to make the most delicious crepes with strawberries and whipped cream.”

  It took several pans and bowls to prepare crepes. “It’s a lot of cleanup,” she said, immediately regretting it. The more work Esther had to do on Ivy’s behalf, the more Ivy liked it.

  Ivy smiled indulgently. “Don’t whine about it. It’s not that hard to clean up, and you’ve got nothing better to do anyway. If Winter and I weren’t here, you’d have nothing to do at all. You should thank me for being so nice and letting Winter stay, even though I could take her to California tomorrow. They have really good crepes in California.”

  Esther took deep breath after deep breath. She stared at Ivy and pictured this scene repeating itself for another twenty years. There was no fighting it. She had no power to fight. If she wanted to keep Winnie, she had to keep Ivy happy. And to keep Ivy happy, Esther had to give away a little piece of herself every day. She had to make all the compromises, lose all the arguments, and surrender every battle to Ivy. There was nothing else she could do. The thought of losing Winnie sucked the breath out of her and made her light-headed.

  “I don’t have any strawberries.”

  “There are frozen blueberries in the freezer.”

  Ivy must have recently searched for more of Esther’s money. She never would have opened the freezer otherwise. “Okay,” Esther said. “Blueberry crepes with whipped cream.”

  She set Winnie on the floor, and she immediately took off for the front room, where Esther kept a few toys for her to play with under the quilting frames that were always up. Ivy sat at the table and talked about shoes and hair dye, Mamm’s bread pudding and the peeling wallpaper in the kitchen. Esther made the crepes, whipped the cream, and cooked the blueberries in a sauce, all while periodically checking on Winnie to make sure she wasn’t into something she shouldn’t be. When everything was ready, Esther rolled three blueberry-filled crepes onto a plate and set them in front of Ivy.

  Even though Ivy seemed to feel she was owed those crepes, she was delighted to get them. “Oh, Esther. Thank you. These look so good. First thing, you need to teach me how to make them.”

  “For sure and certain,” Esther said, because she wasn’t sure what to make of Ivy’s glee and because Ivy would never actually try to make crepes. At least Esther would be spared the torture of trying to teach Ivy anything. Esther went into the front room and sat on the floor next to Winnie, who was happily sitting still and chewing on her doll’s foot.

  Ivy called from the kitchen, “Don’t you want to keep me company while I eat?”

  As it turned out, she didn’t want to. Why had Ivy asked? Didn’t she hate Esther as much as Esther hated her? Esther immediately chastised herself for that unkind thought. She didn’t hate anybody, not even Ivy, but she certainly would be infinitely happier with Ivy out of her life. Ach, how she wished Ivy would go away and never come back. Then she’d never have to keep her company while she ate her breakfast crepes. Esther scooped Winnie into her arms, tromped into the kitchen, and sat down across from Ivy at the table.

  Ivy was thoroughly enjoying her crepes. “You know, Esther, I was thinking. I would be so much more comfortable sleeping in your bed. I’m taller than you are and need the extra space. Will you help me move my things into that room tonight and I’ll help you move your things out?”

  Esther clenched her teeth. She should have been expecting this. There was nothing so alluring as a queen-size bed. “No, Ivy. It’s too much work to move everything. I’ve got all my fabric in there and my sewing machine. Just stay where you are. Your bed is comfortable enough.”

  “It’s too little.” She took a big bite of her crepe. “Jordan’s stepmom lets us sleep in a king-size bed when we stay there. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind letting me and Winnie crash there.”

  Esther felt as if she were hanging from the edge of a cliff, barely holding on, unable to fight much longer. “Can we talk about this later? I need to finish this quilt tonight or I won’t get paid. I won’t have time to move any furniture.”

  Ivy laughed. “Don’t be so dramatic. It won’t take but a minute.”

  “Then you’ll have to do it yourself.”

  “I can’t move your sewing machine by myself. You’ll just have to spare me five minutes out of your busy schedule.” Ivy scooped some cream from her plate with her finger. “I need to go to Alamosa for a pair of shoes. I own one pair of flip-flops, and they’re coming apart. So I need some money, and I need you to call your friend Cathy and have her drive me.”

  Esther bit her tongue and counted to ten. Ivy’s impertinence wasn’t a surprise, but the urge to lash out at her was almost overpowering. “You have my phone, and you already took what money I had in the house. You’ll have to use some of that.”

  Ivy pursed her lips. She had four hundred dollars of Esther’s money, but if she was wise, she’d be careful where she spent it. She gazed at Esther resentfully. “I have to have that money in case I need to take Winnie away and teach you a lesson.”

  “Then I guess you won’t be buying any shoes. I don’t have any more money in the house.” That was true enough. She had ple
nty in the bank, but Ivy wasn’t going to learn about the bank account if Esther could help it.

  Ivy didn’t like that answer. “I’ll use that money, but what are you going to do when you need to buy diapers for Winnie?”

  Esther planted a big kiss on Winnie’s cheek to give herself some time to measure her words. “I have some money coming from a quilt I just finished. I buy Winnie’s diapers with quilt money.”

  Ivy frowned. “You need to quilt faster. We’re going to starve.”

  Maybe Ivy wouldn’t be so cocky if she thought they were going to run out of money at any minute. Esther didn’t reassure her. “I hope not.”

  Ivy left the kitchen and came back with Esther’s phone. “So call your friend and have her come get me.”

  “I can’t impose on Cathy that way.”

  “Of course you can, because if I can’t even get to Walmart to buy a pair of shoes, I’ll just have to take Winter and go to California. Lots of Walmarts within walking distance in California.”

  Ivy’s ruling Esther’s life was one thing, but pulling her friends into her little game was quite another. “I can’t do that. Cathy is a busy lady. She can’t just drop everything and drive you to Walmart.”

  Ivy leaned forward as if getting closer would emphasize her point. “She’s like ninety years old, Esther. What does she have to do all day but watch TV and crochet baby blankets? Call her. She’s probably looking for an excuse to get out of the house.”

  Ivy had that determined, threatening look in her eye that Esther knew all too well. It was another battle. Another surrender. And it was clear to Esther that Ivy didn’t care if Cathy said yes, only that Esther did what she wanted, only that Esther submitted to her every demand.

  Esther punched in the numbers on her phone. Cathy picked up after the first ring. “Hello, Esther. Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. Everything is fine.”

  “You never call me, so I wondered. Of course, nobody calls me, not even my ungrateful children. You’d think they’ve all lost their phones.”

  Esther tried to smile, but she couldn’t even muster a grimace. “Cathy,” she said, her voice shaking like a flame in the wind. “Um, my sister, Ivy, was wondering if you could drive her to Walmart in Alamosa today.”