The Man I'll Marry

by Danielle Lee Zwissler

I sighed. Not that good. “Surprise me.”

  “Okay, Todd asked me to marry him.”

  I turned my head so fast that I knocked Alexis in the eye with my beak. “Shit! Sorry! Oh my God! Are you serious?”

  “Damn it, Keri, watch it with that thing!”

  “Sorry!”

  Alexis moved back a little and grinned. She put her hand into her pocket and then moved it back out, and voila! There was a ring on her left ring-finger!

  I squealed, and then I stood up and grabbed her hands. We jumped around in the lot like two lunatics.

  Then the kids started coming in droves, and we were all dancing and squealing, and I had the biggest grin on my face, and nobody could see it underneath the costume.

  Five hours later, I was all ready to celebrate Alexis and Todd’s great news when I walked in to the house to loud voices. Seth’s and Jack’s.

  I smiled as I made my way into the living room, and stopped dead when I saw Jack holding onto his jaw. “What the hell?”

  I looked at Seth, then back to Jack. “Cassie,” I said, knowing exactly what was going on. Seth frowned and then threw his hands up in the air.

  “You knew!”

  I swallowed, not knowing what to say. “Mom…”

  “Mom knew!” Seth yelled. “Are you guys kidding me?!”

  “I’m sorry, Seth, I thought…” I looked at Jack. “Why didn’t you talk to him?”

  “Oh, and what was I supposed to say. Gee, bro, I’ve been in love with your girlfriend for some time now, and oh, by the way, she and I used to hang out.”

  “Define hang out,” Seth said under his breath.

  “How do you define it, Seth?” Jack asked snidely.

  “Fuck you, Jack,” Seth said, and then he looked at me. “And you, I thought you were…”

  I shook my head. “Don’t say something you can’t take back, Seth. What was I supposed to say? Jack’s been miserable, too.”

  “Oh, now you’re taking his side?”

  “No, I’m not taking any sides. I think the situation sucks. Honestly, the only person to blame for all of this is Cassie.”

  Both of my brothers were now giving me dirty looks, but it was Seth that broke away first. “You’re right.”

  I swallowed. “I am?”

  “Yeah, she’s right, Jack. Cassie is to blame for this. She knew…”

  “And she knew that going into this whole thing,” I said, hoping that I was still on Seth’s good list. I didn’t want to be on anyone’s shit-list any longer.

  “Sorry about your jaw,” Seth said and looked to Jack.

  Jack took a deep breath then huffed. “Sorry about the whole thing.”

  I tried not to, but I smiled, and then brought both of my brothers in for a ridiculous ‘Brady-Bunch style’ hug. “Okay, you guys. We need to talk.”

  They both pulled back, and we started talking about what they could do to help me pull off a mini-celebration engagement party for my friends.

  ***

  When Alexis and Todd finally got in from work, we, my family and I, were all hiding in the kitchen. When the door opened, I jumped out and flicked the light on, scaring Alexis to death.

  “What the fu…”

  My mom cleared her throat, and we all started laughing.

  “Surprise!” I yelled.

  Todd started laughing, and looked at Alexis with that signature deer-caught-in-the-headlights-look.

  “You didn’t forget her birthday, Todd,” I said, and both my brothers laughed.

  Todd sighed. “Our anniversary?”

  Alexis rolled her eyes. “No, you moron, that was a few months ago. You bought me the…well you know,” she said, and for the first time in my life it looked as though Alexis was embarrassed.

  I laughed. “What was that?” I joked.

  “Never mind,” both Alexis and Todd answered at once.

  “Happy Engagement party!” I yelled. Mom started laughing, and the twins came and handed Todd a beer a piece.

  “Nice,” Todd said, and looked at the twins. “So, you are?”

  “Ah, these are my brothers, Seth and Jack. Seth’s the one with the stubble, and Jack has the bruised jaw. Seth just punched him.”

  Mom’s eyes widened. “What happened?”

  I looked at Mom and she, in turn, looked at Jack. “You didn’t tell him?”

  Seth put his hands up once more and shook his head. “I seriously can’t believe you all kept it from me.”

  “What happened?” Mom asked.

  Seth sighed. “Cassie told me she couldn’t get married. I asked her why.”

  I looked at Todd and Alexis. “Sorry,” I said, wincing.

  Todd smiled. “It’s life. Look, Keri, I’m used to divorce and all that. My parents, remember? What I have with Alexis is… perfect.”

  Alexis smiled and grabbed Todd’s hand. “He’s right, and I couldn’t agree more.” Alexis leaned in and kissed Todd on the lips.

  “When are you two going to get married?” I asked, feeling happy for them.

  “Not for another three years. I promised my parents that we’d graduate first.”

  Todd looked at me and opened his beer. “I promised mine the same.”

  I smiled. “I’m so happy for you guys. I really think you’re going to make it.”

  Alexis grinned and let go of Todd’s hand and gave me a hug, then whispered in my ear, “And I think you and Payton will, too.”

  I turned my head and whispered into hers. “We had sex.”

  Alexis shot back, her eyes were wide. “Bedroom, you, me, now!”

  Everyone just then looked at us, and I shrugged. “Girl talk.”

  Mom looked at me oddly, but didn’t say anything. Todd just continued drinking his beer, pretending that nothing was wrong with the whole picture of him not being twenty-one and all.

  As soon as we got into the bedroom, Alexis squealed. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah,” I said, and nodded. I could feel the heat invade my skin, and I was embarrassed.

  “When?”

  “A week ago.”

  Alexis’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding?!”

  I shook my head. “Nope. You guys had already gone inside—it was after we got the posts set.”

  “Are you kidding? Damn, Keri, we have the entire base built already. When were you planning on telling me?”

  “I wasn’t,” I said and winced. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, I did. It’s just…it wasn’t exactly something to brag about.”

  Alexis laughed. “Oh, honey, I know the first time sucks, but the next time is way better. And guys, well they suck the first time, it’s like they just explode, and it’s awkward. You have to let him give it another go.”

  I laughed. If only it were that easy. “We’re not, uh, seeing each other.”

  “I’m not following.”

  “Well, it’s just. He has a girlfriend.”

  Alexis let that fact roll around in her brain for a little bit, then she looked as if she’d go and find Payton herself and bit the crap out of him. “What do you mean he STILL has a girlfriend.”

  I swallowed. It did sound bad. “Well, he was still dating her when we, you know?”

  “Well then he should have broken up with her, Keri.”

  “I know that, and you know that, but he doesn’t quite know that, and it wasn’t that easy of a situation. It just sort of happened?”

  Keri didn’t look fooled. “Seriously? I can’t believe you just said that. What did you fall on it?”

  I laughed. “No.”

  “Then how did he put part a in slot b?”

  I snorted and swatted at Alexis. If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. “You’re crazy.”

  “So are you. How do you feel?”

  “I mean, I feel different, I guess.” I didn’t want to mention that I thought about Payton nearly 24/7 now. If I’d thought it was bad before, I had another think coming. “I never knew how much…”

  “Yeah, you’re thinking
about him constantly now, aren’t you?”

  I nodded. This was the right thing to do, to talk to Alexis. “I’m so glad you’re here. I really needed to talk to someone.”

  Alexis grabbed my hand and we sat there and talked. Just talked about boys as if we were two normal girls having a perfectly normal conversation about boys and the great loves of our lives. But it wasn’t like that.

  I was in love with a guy that had a girlfriend.

  I slept with a guy that already had someone in his life.

  “This sucks,” I said, and really meant it. A stray tear slipped from the corner of my eye and traveled down my cheek. “What am I going to do?”

  “Do you still love him?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  “Do you want to fight for him?” she asked, and I was glad that she did. I hadn’t given it much thought over the last week. I nodded.

  “I do.”

  “Then we’re going to finish that damn tree house.”

  I smiled at Alexis and leaned in to her and gave her a hug. We sat there for a few minutes and I thanked God for her, and for our friendship. We had something special. “Thanks so much, Alexis. Thanks for coming out here and helping me. Thanks for making me feel better.”

  “You’re going to make me cry,” Alexis said, and then pulled back. “You’re my best friend, Keri. We’ve got this.”

  I nodded. She was right. We did.

  “So, what do we do next?”

  “You call him.”

  My eyes widened. “I’m not sure that’s the right move.”

  “It is. You need to call him, and Todd and I will head home.”

  “No, you can’t,” I said, panicking. “You can’t leave yet.”

  “Yeah, I can, and I should. You and lover boy need to work this out, and I’ve given it a lot of thought. You should be rebuilding that thing together.”

  I swallowed. “The fort?”

  “Yeah,” she said and nodded. “He’ll say yes.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so,” she said, smiling. “Call him tonight. Tell him that Todd and I have to go back home, and that you want to finish what you’ve started. Tell him that you want to be his friend first. And whatever you do, don’t have sex with him.”

  I laughed. “He’s still got a girlfriend.”

  “Build that fort with him. Show him what he’s missing.”

  “Our friendship, you mean?”

  “Yeah, you started out as friends. It all started there, right? You both building that darned fort?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it did.”

  “Full circle, right?”

  “You really think it’ll work.”

  Alexis sighed. “If it doesn’t, I’ll be on the first plane back here to get you and bring you home with me. But I got this feeling, Keri. He wouldn’t have been with you if it wasn’t something he truly wanted.”

  I didn’t think he would either.

  Chapter Eight

  *Daughters…*

  I called Payton like Alexis told me to. But I waited until she was in bed, and couldn’t hear the conversation. It was embarrassing, me begging this guy, the guy that I fell completely in love with, to come help me rebuild something that we both destroyed.

  Pathetic.

  The phone rang, and it was after eleven PM. I sucked.

  He answered…groggily. “Yeah?”

  “It’s me.”

  Silence…

  “Payton?”

  Payton cleared his throat. “Yeah, sorry, I’m here.”

  “I’m sorry, maybe I should just…”

  “No! It’s fine…I’m here. What’s up?”

  “Well, it’s just that, well, Alexis and Todd are going back home,” I blurted out and then, “and I need you to help me.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could talk?” I tried to be calm, but nothing was working. “Can you do it?”

  “When?”

  I took a deep breath and then blew it out. “I was thinking maybe tomorrow night? Or we could talk now?”

  “Do you want me to come over?”

  “I do.”

  “Um, where?”

  I tried to gather up my courage, and I somewhat had it. “The, uh, you know?”

  Payton chuckled softly. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

  Payton

  I took a deep breath as I put my cellphone down. Keri had called me, and wanted to meet.

  I closed my eyes and thought of all the reasons why I shouldn’t leave the house right now. And none of them stuck. The truth was, I couldn’t wait to get there. I couldn’t wait to see her.

  I got in my truck after a quick shower and headed to our special spot, parking in the field about five-hundred yards from my parents’ house. I cut the lights fast, not wanting to wake my mom and dad for fear that they’d know exactly what I’d been up to.

  When I finally made it to where we’d finally been together, the visions of Keri’s body clung to my mind like a lifeline. I could see her skin, her eyes, and feel her mouth against my own. I put my hand in front of my face and swiped down. I needed to get a grip.

  “Pay, is that you?” I heard Keri ask as I came out from behind one of the trees.

  “Yeah, it’s me.” I walked into her view and we stood there awkwardly, like two idiot teenagers that just got caught making out in their parents’ house.

  “Hey,” she said, and put her hands together, and was fidgeting like crazy.

  “Hey.”

  She took a deep breath and then came to me and put her arms out, and once again we were up against each other. She breathed in, and I could feel her heart against my own. God, I’ve missed her. “I missed you,” I said, and I felt her tremble.

  “I’ve missed you, too.” She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “How have you been?”

  I laughed gruffly. “Not good.”

  “Yeah?”

  “No, I feel like shit. I…what I did…”

  “Don’t, Payton. Honestly, what happened is over.”

  I swallowed. “Is it? I mean, can you even stand to look at me?”

  “I love looking at you,” she admitted, crying. “You’re my best friend, Payton.”

  I could feel my eyes tear up. I shook my head and blew out a deep breath. “I feel the same.”

  “Then what’s going on?” she asked. “What’s wrong with us?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I feel ashamed of what happened, but I don’t regret being with you.”

  Keri sighed. “Oh, God, me, neither!”

  I leaned in and kissed her on the lips and I put my arms around her once more. “I broke up with Patti. I couldn’t be with her, not anymore. You were, are, everything to me. I just didn’t know what to say.”

  Keri leaned back in my arms and sniffled. “I think we need to be friends first,” she said, eliciting a groan from me. I knew it was immature, but it took us forever to get to this point, and for us to go from lovers to friends, just sucked big time.

  “You’re serious?”

  Keri took a deep breath. “It was Alexis’s idea. She said we should be friends first, go back to what we were before all of this got complicated, and if we’re right for each other we’ll find that again.”

  I nodded, wanting to kill Alexis, but the girl did have a point. “How long?”

  Keri rolled her eyes. “However long it takes,” she answered, and I laughed.

  “Can we still kiss?” I asked, as I leaned in and kissed her first on the nose, and then each cheek. Keri was just as bad as I was; she leaned in for more.

  “Yeah, we can do that,” she said, and I smiled.

  “Good. So, what’s the plan?”

  “We rebuild the fort, and then talk about the rest of it when it’s done.”

  “The rest?”

  Keri smiled and looked serious. “Life.”

  I nodded and felt my throat clog. “I’d like that very much.”

&
nbsp; Keri smiled with unshed tears. “Good.”

  Keri

  Alexis and Todd didn’t end up leaving; it was one of Alexis’s ploys to finally get me to stick up for myself and to grow some as she’d said. It worked. We all still worked at the Fun Fair, and at night, I built the tree fort, with Payton only. Alexis and Todd were too busy slurping in different parts of Texas. I didn’t mind though, I actually liked having them around, and Payton and I got to have that much-needed time to ourselves.

  We didn’t do it again, and that sucked, but I think Alexis did have a point for what she suggested, and I really do think that it worked.

  The only problem I had now was Mrs. Taylor, and Mr. Taylor. Mitch was fine with Payton and me, and he even apologized for being such a dick early on, but I didn’t blame him. I’d have been mad, too, if the situation were reversed. I still hated Cassie for what she’d done to my brothers.

  “What are you still doing here?” Mrs. Taylor asked. She was no longer Shelia; she had made that clear when she first saw Payton and me working on the fort a few days ago.

  “Just waiting for Payton to get dressed. We’re going to put up one of the walls today.” I tried to sound excited, but to be honest, I was terrified. I never knew how much Mrs. Taylor loved her son until I royally fucked up his life. She was a mother lion, and I was the evil bitch that tried to take her baby away.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked, and I sensed that she wanted to like me, but couldn’t just yet.

  “I love him.”

  “For how long this time?” And just as she said that, I heard Payton come out of the bathroom. I looked her in the eyes and sighed.

  “Til death do us part.” I don’t know why I said it just then, but I meant it. If I had the chance someday to marry my best friend, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

  Shelia’s eyes widened and her lip trembled. I stood still in fear that she may either attack or not do anything. I wasn’t sure which was worse at this point.

  “You mean that?”

  I nodded. “I do. I feel so bad about what happened. I will regret that for my whole life. You have to know that I’d never hurt him on purpose.”

  She nodded. “I didn’t think you would, Keri, but honey, you don’t know what it was like…”