A Life Sublime

by Billy London

  Gina sat patiently, her chin resting on her raised fist. “He could do with a good woman in his life. His first wife was fucking crazy.”

  “Georgina Robinson Da Canaveze.”

  “Come on, that picture says everything! And I know you went swimming in the mornings and Padre loves swimming. Were there secret trysts in the olive groves? Quick kisses under the loggia? Little fumble under the Ghana cloth? Oh my God, the morning after the wedding were you two...? I know something happened on the yacht! I’d have paid proper attention but I was being good and wifely.”

  Belinda took in a single breath and then slapped Gina’s hand. Hard.

  “Ow!”

  “I warned you. And there’s nothing happening that you need to know about.”

  Rubbing her hand Gina prompted, “Could there be?”

  “No.” Belinda answered flatly.

  “Why not? And please don’t say it’s because you think you’re too old. I’ve seen women your age who look like your grandmother!”

  “Stop dreaming up fantasies.”

  Gina played with her rings, “But wouldn’t it be nice if you did?”

  “He brought up your husband, so he can’t be all that nice.”

  “Auntie,” Gina reproved, “you’re going to have to speak to the vicar for lying like that. You think my husband’s a dude. My Padre needs someone to look after him. His mental wife damaged him.”

  “And why do I have to look after him?”

  “Because you understand what it is to have to prop everyone else up and not have anyone to do the same for you. And I know he likes you too because he gave me this to give to you.”

  She handed over a thick white envelope with a card inside, embossed with her name. “It’s a lifetime membership to that posh indoor and outdoor pool spa in Richmond.” Belinda frowned instantly. What the devil is wrong with that man? “So now you can share your mutual interests. Take it!”

  She practically snatched it from Gina’s hand and placed it in her bag. “Happy now?”

  “Nope, what’s the matter?”

  She had been in the bosom of a loud and raucous beautiful family for five days straight and she returned to London feeling utterly alone. Granted, she had imposed that solitude on herself and wanted to see how she felt, but two weeks was plenty. Hell, a week had been enough. God help her for suggesting three months away from Massimo! Getting a call from Gina the moment she and Nick arrived back from honeymoon had been the biggest and most wonderful surprise.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You missed us,” Gina grinned. “Paul wanted to call you, but he didn’t want to impose.”

  Belinda’s heart caught, “Really? What’s wrong with him, why didn’t he just call me?”

  “I told you, his mother was fu— was crazy. He’s just a bit wary of trusting. Now, he wasn’t always one of my favourite people, but he’s my brother-in-law and he’s married to my best friend by the skin of his teeth. He could do with you. So here,” Gina scrolled through her phone and touched a number. “Paul? Hi. No, I’m fine. Can you talk? I’m with Auntie, hold on a sec.” She handed the phone over.

  “Hi Zia,” Paul said tentatively.

  “Don’t hi zia me! You haven’t called me!”

  “I know. But weddings are all intense, I thought you’d want a bit of peace and quiet.”

  “Silliness. When are you taking me out?”

  He laughed, “We can go to dinner if that’s okay? Tonight?”

  “Good. Just you and me. No one else is invited.”

  “Yes, Zia. Can I pick you up from work?”

  “Seven on the dot or you’re in trouble.”

  “Clear as crystal. See you later. Can I speak to Gina again?”

  “Yo. Bye!”

  She handed the phone back to Gina who teased, “You’re in trouble. I told you to. What do you mean when? Before I left! Ah dude, you have no idea. If you escape with one ear undamaged, it’s not fair. Oh sweetheart! I will. Thanks. Bye.” Gina ended the call. “Can you believe the cheek? He was trying to say it was my fault! You’re going to have to make him take you somewhere really expensive.”

  Belinda frowned at her for a moment. “You sound like a sister.”

  “Yeah. It took a while but we’re getting there. I haven’t had a family for such a long time, so it was a bit of an adjustment.”

  “You’re better than I would have been. You’re like your mother. She would try to make things better for everyone else rather than go in like a mad dog.”

  Gina looked pleased and embarrassed at the compliment. “You don’t marry a person, you marry a family. Don’t get me wrong, they are all still fu— still mental, but they’re my level of mental now. A bit more time with you and we’ll all be at your level of mental.”

  “God help me,” Belinda tutted. “Are we eating because I do need to go back to the clinic soon?”

  Gina folded her hands primly on the table. “We’ll eat, when you tell me there is absolutely nothing going on between you and my Padre and you’re not missing him.”

  Those huge, dark eyes kept trying to find her own but Belinda picked up her menu. “Then you are going to starve.”

  Gina grinned, “Can’t wait to tell Nick. We have a bet on about how long it’ll take you to be together.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, so you need to hurry up. What I’ll get from the bet is ridiculous so I really want to win.”

  Belinda kissed her teeth so loudly, people turned to stare. “I am warning you. Enough. It’s not your business what I do with Massimo Da Canaveze.”

  Gina’s eyes glowed with knowing. Belinda wanted to kick the girl then kick herself for giving information away in irritation. “I promise I’ll drive you around in it. The chicken here is really good, you should order that.”

  Belinda started to think that God’s way of not giving her babies was to keep her from being imprisoned for homicide.

  Chapter Ten

  Belinda knew when Paul walked into the clinic because the silly receptionists started giggling. She looked up from the stock take figures of basic equipment at the clinic and popped her head around the doorway of the stockroom. He held a huge bouquet of flowers and wore the hell out of an immaculately cut suit. One of the receptionists spoke in a flirtatious voice. “Who are you here for?”

  “Mrs. Afriyie.”

  Both receptionists choked. “What, really?”

  Belinda caught the slight tick in his cheek that told her he was holding back his temper although it showed nowhere else.

  “Is she here? Do you mind if I see her?”

  Belinda emerged from the stock room to stop a potential massacre if those silly girls spoke again. Paul saw her and smiled. “Are these enough to say sorry?”

  She shook her head. “You are silly.”

  He swept her into a one armed hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?”

  “In ten minutes. Can you wait outside for me?”

  He gave a nod. “Of course.”

  “Who is that?” one receptionist whispered almost angrily.

  “I’m her toy boy,” Paul said loudly before sending them both a devilish grin. “She’s teaching me so much.”

  Belinda clapped a hand to her forehead. “Out!” she bellowed, before he caused any more trouble. She pointed to the receptionists. “Time to close up. Get your things, let’s go.”

  Hustling them into action, she was able to finish the stock take and close the clinic in time. She set the alarms and locked the doors then turned to the street to look for Paul’s car. A loud beep made her turn around and on the corner sat a stunning blue JaguarTM. She eased herself into the car and Paul raced off. It was blissful being with him. Not only did he look so much like his father, he felt like her very own child.

  Eyes sparkling with pleasure, he asked, “What’s the deal with the reception bitches?”

  “I make them work,” Belinda answered shortly. “And tell them off about y
apping on and on about their boyfriends. You’re much better looking than any of the stringy tramps I’ve seen come sniffing around them. So you know they’ll be muttering behind my back because of you.”

  He started to laugh, “It was fun though. I’m going to have to send you flowers all the time now.”

  “Don’t you dare! They have enough trouble concentrating without you making things worse.”

  Paul shot her a teasing look. “All right. What if I send jewellery?”

  “Won’t your wife get upset?”

  “Everything upsets my wife,” he admitted with a chuckle.

  “Speaking of, where is Sofia?”

  “Ah, she’s having some beauty treatments.”

  “At this time of night?”

  “She says I should appreciate it or she wouldn’t look so blindingly beautiful. Her words not mine.”

  “Hmm,” Belinda murmured with disapproval. “Are you sure you don’t enjoy playing sugar daddy?”

  Paul coughed a laugh. “What? Zia!”

  “You get her whatever she wants, does she ever think for a minute where the money comes from?”

  “No and it’s probably a good thing that she doesn’t. I know Sof pretends she isn’t all that thoughtful, but she’s sharper than a garrotte. She’s thinking about doing something legitimate with her time.”

  “Such as?”

  “Opening a boutique. She’s been thinking about it for a while. I think the wedding was the prompt to just get on with it and stop umming and ahhing.”

  “Who better to run a shop other than that addict?”

  Paul quickly leaned over and gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s really good to see you.”

  Touched, Belinda cleared her throat. “So where are we going?”

  “I’m taking you to my favourite Thai restaurant. Gina said I owe you a really good dinner.”

  “Clever girl.”

  They sped into Mayfair chattering away about the wedding, the villa, Capri and the amount of booze Beppe had packed into his car. “I think you and Dad were away so no one saw him do it. I said he should because there’s no way we’d finish it any time soon, but he was taking the mick. God knows how he got it through customs.”

  Belinda could smell the spices the moment they entered the restaurant, her hand tucked into the crook of Paul’s arm and her stomach grumbled with appreciation. They were shown to a centre table. The waiter saw to Belinda’s chair and Paul’s blazer. Placing his phone on the table, Paul ordered a mineral water for himself and looked to Belinda for what she would like.

  “Oh, can I have wine?”

  “Have whatever you want,” he assured her.

  “White wine.”

  He turned to the waiter. “MoncaroTM, please.” Her drink was brought to her and the first sip lifted the corners of her lips like the Cheshire Cat.

  “Now, how was Milan?”

  “Actually we stayed in Lake Como for the week. We needed the quiet. The wedding was intense.”

  Something crossed his face. Belinda couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or worry. But she hated the thought of him alone in his pain.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Ignore me, I’ll ruin the evening,” Paul shook his head, sending her a forced smile.

  Belinda frowned and took his hand. “Listen to me, and listen good. You can talk to me. I won’t tell anyone else. Not even chatterbox Georgina if that’s what you’re worried about?”

  “No, I mean I’m not worried. I love her. She loves my wife and my dad to bits and she really loves my brother. I couldn’t wish for anything more. But...”

  “What is it?”

  “She just makes me remember how hard it is to forgive. And she has forgiven me. I don’t want her thinking bad about me again. It’s taken a while for us to be okay with each other.”

  “Why’s that?” Belinda knew the answer, but she wanted to see how honest Paul was going to be with her.

  His answer took her breath away. “I wasn’t at all supportive when she and Nick started their relationship. The serious one, not the friendship. I didn’t see it at the time, but it got my mum’s back up because she clearly wanted something else for him and I went for them. Both of them.”

  “Really?”

  “That’s how she was. The only reason she didn’t mind me marrying Sofia was because Sof’s the perfect trophy wife.”

  “Does she know you say that about her?” Belinda asked.

  “We’ve had screaming matches about it. Every time we used to argue she used to yell at me that I’m just an ornament to you.”

  “Is that true?”

  “No. I just think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s also very talented and extremely smart, regardless of how many bottles of champagne she downs in a night.” He looked down at his water. “It is my fault. I tried to make her conform so my mother would have as little to say about her as possible. I was always in love with Sofia, from the moment we met, and I wish I could tell you that it didn’t break me every time I looked at her to know that she wanted my brother and not me.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “They dated first,” he explained on a sigh. “Dated being a mild word. Another branch to many arguments is that she never chose me, she settled for me, just because of my family name.”

  “I know she’s got a sharp tongue on her, but—”

  “Sof’s honest. That’s why I know she’s never cheated on me, even though she’s had more than the opportunity. She tells me it started out that way and very nearly carried on. My mum had to die, Christ, dad nearly died before Sof realised that I loved her. I still love her.”

  Belinda’s heart was in her mouth at the very thought of Massimo close to death. “What happened?”

  Paul clenched his fists back and forth. “He was shot the same night mum was killed. You know the scar on his neck? It’s from that night.”

  Belinda felt sick. She’d kissed his scar without thought for how he’d received it.

  “He’s all right,” Paul said, giving her hand a reassuring shake. “I promise.”

  Obviously not, she thought. “And you and Sofia?”

  He gave a boyish grin, “We staged world war 3 for about a week. But I wouldn’t have coped with the funeral if it wasn’t for her.”

  “So what is it now?”

  His lashes lowered in defence. “We were at Lake Como and the inevitable conversation came up about children. Sofia’s still on the fence and I want them. I can’t help feeling envious of Nick and Gina. They look complete.”

  “But why do you think it’ll complete you?” The question was futile, it was a sensation that had plagued her for years along with the words of pity from others that she wasn’t a full woman because she hadn’t had her own children. It was complete rubbish, but it stung badly every now and again.

  “I want to undo what my mum did. The only way I can really do it is by teaching a child different lessons. That’s what Sofia says it’s about.” He gave a shrug, “I wanted children long before. For a long time. I just thought I’d be a better dad than anything else I could do.”

  “Nicholas says you loved your mother so much. Why do you feel so differently now?”

  He halted as the waiter came and took their orders. Belinda picked the first thing to catch her eye and handed the menu back to him just so he would go away and Paul could carry on talking. Paul patiently took the waiter’s suggestion then returned his menu and helped himself to more water.

  “It’s more that I was so sure she loved me too and she was nothing less than honest about her motives and what she wanted for me and Nick.” His voice broke slightly and he had to take a few deep breaths before he could continue.

  “Now, when I look back on things, all I can see is how she manipulated me because it suited her end game to have someone else to take the fall for her. Take the blame,” he added when Belinda frowned in confusion. “I allowed it. So I have to take responsibility for that too. That’s wh
at gets Sofia so mad. She says that my mother treated me like a dog.”

  “Sofia,” Belinda admonished.

  He made a face of contrition, “She wasn’t really far off. I didn’t feel I was doing anything productive unless mum said it was. Approval was everything. My life probably would have been different if she had just said to me once that it didn’t matter, I didn’t have to compete with my brother, I didn’t have to prove anything to her or anyone else. Dad kept telling me to find my own way and I was beholden to no one, but I didn’t quite believe him. I know Zia,” he held up his hands, seeing Belinda’s argument coming.

  “I know I didn’t have to marry Sofia at all, but there it is. I didn’t have to go after that gang in Ireland, regardless of the benefit we’re getting from it now.” Belinda blinked once in the hope that he wouldn’t tell her any more about that incident. He pressed his fingers to his solar plexus. “I feel it here, that fucking pathetic need for someone to tell me that it’s fine. I’ve done great. I’m loved.”

  “Your language is appalling,” Belinda said, when she could finally speak. “The four of you need your mouths washed out.”

  “Sorry Zia.”

  “What are you apologising for? Apart from the f word which I do not need to hear for the rest of the night. Why would you need someone to tell you they are proud of your achievements? You hear it from your father, why did you need it from your mother so much?”

  “I talked about this with a professional,” he told her as the food arrived. Belinda barely looked at her plate. “It’s to do with not feeling loved.”

  Belinda gritted her teeth. The more she found out about Mary Alice, the more she wished she’d killed that bitch herself. She couldn’t physically bear children and that woman gave birth to two babies? It really made her angry. Sometimes God, you are very unfair.

  Paul picked up his chopsticks. “Would you like to try some noodles?”