Smoke and Wishes (Best Wishes Book 1)

by A. J. Macey

  Hudson looked over to say something to Cam, when he realized he was standing alone. I turned my attention back to Cam instead of Hudson, still feeling an irrational sting of jealousy from that night in the quad.

  “Hey, Cam, how are you feeling today?” I smiled up at him when he finally reached my row, sliding into the seat to my left.

  “Hey, doll, I’m feeling pretty good. I was able to feed off Nik after you two left the range.” Feed? Oh right, vampire. Duh. It was no wonder his presence was so dominating. And sexy, definitely sexy. I nodded and opened my mouth to respond when Hudson dropped down to my right.

  “Hey, asshole, way to leave me in the dust”—he glared at Cam before turning his lavender violet eyes to me—“hey, princess.” He slid down in his chair and threw an arm over my shoulders, letting it hang on the back of my chair. I stiffened at the movement, not wanting to deal with anymore backlash from Brittney and her crew of bitches.

  “How was your date?” I tried to sound casual and nonchalant.

  “It was a stereotypical date, dinner, movie. What were you doing so late last night?” His voice was edged with a hint of something. Was he jealous? I turned to look at him, his grey long sleeve shirt was tight across his muscled chest and tapered torso. His black hair shining in the overhead lighting.

  “I was with Cam.” I shrugged, his mouth thinned into a tight line as his hard gaze slid over to Cam. I raised an eyebrow at his ridiculous behavior. “We were working on our debate in the library.” He relaxed at my reasoning, nodding his head. I shifted back to face the front and saw Cam roll his eyes at Hudson in my peripheral.

  “Now that everyone is here, let’s pick partners and head into a room.” Cam and Hudson immediately turned to me and proceeded to go back and forth about who was the better partner for this exercise. I just sat there letting them argue. Standing up when I realized they weren’t going to just pick, I walked towards one of the booths. They could figure it out. I rounded the corner and sat down in one of the chairs.

  “Gentlemen, I will be assisting Miss Envie today.” A honeyed voice cut through Cam and Hudson’s increasingly loud argument. The masculine voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Popping my head around the corner of the booth, I was shocked when I saw the dean of the university walking away from my guys, both of whom looked equally stunned. I stepped back into the booth as Dean Renaud approached. He was tall and lean, dressed in an impeccable charcoal pinstripe suit with a deep blue button up shirt and black tie. His ash blonde hair was short but long enough to see it was gelled lightly away from his face. The color of his shirt made his light blue eyes pop against his warm skin. He held out a well-manicured hand for me to shake.

  “Hello, Miss Envie, I’m Dean Alexandre Renaud, you can just call me Alex. It’s nice to meet you. As I’m sure you heard me tell your friends, I’ll be overseeing your practical work today.” I shook his hand, which was warm against my cold fingers.

  “Please, call me Lucie. It’s nice to meet you.” I nodded at him unsure of how to act. I mean this was the dean. Just what I needed today, I internally groaned. He took a seat and motioned for me to do the same.

  “Lucie, that’s a beautiful name. I was made aware of your background before you started working at the library. Your mother, Abigail, actually reached out to me directly about your situation. I know this is a huge adjustment for you, but I want you to know you can come to me anytime if you have any issues or questions. My door will always be open to you, Lucie.” He clapped his hands once sharply after dropping that emotional bombshell. “Now, let’s get started. Why don’t you run through what you know so far on mental shielding.”

  “Well”—I shifted in my seat, feeling insecure in my knowledge of what he was asking—“certain people have a higher disposition for psychic work. Some are capable of having permanent barriers or are able to communicate between minds. Those who don’t have that disposition essentially have open minds. Humans and supes both have a small mental barrier, but if someone is strong enough, they can bulldoze past it. If they’re really good, they can slip in without the host knowing.” I paused to take a breath and organize my thoughts before finishing my explanation. “To help create a stronger mental shield, one should visualize a 360-degree barrier around their mind. It usually helps to start out with building up a visual brick wall layer by layer. Once the solid foundation is built and constant, it can be visualized as more of a curtain where it can be raised and lowered at will…” I trailed off, my statement sounding like more of a question.

  “Excellent, Lucie. Have you had the chance to work on that wall?” His voice was proud. I guess it isn’t unusual for a dean to take pride in his students. I shook my head, signifying I hadn’t gotten to it with all of the beginning of term stuff that piled up last week. “Alright, so what I’m going to have you do is close your eyes, and focus on feeling the edges of your mind.”

  I did as he instructed, it seemed strange at first. The edges of my mind, huh? Though, the more I focused, the easier it became. I felt the emptiness as I tried to clear my thoughts of everything, but what Alex was saying. Venturing further, I touched what felt almost like a bubble. Weird. I gave a slight nod to indicate I was ready for the next step.

  “Good, now form a solid brick in your hands, it could be a regular sized brick or a cinder block or whatever you choose. Once you feel the solidness of it, the texture, everything that makes it real, visualize placing individual bricks around the perimeter of your mind, creating a low barrier.”

  I sank further into my mind and saw myself standing in the middle of a dark space, a single beam of illumination directly where I was standing. When I reached out again to feel the bubble surrounding my mind, the brightness expanded towards that edge revealing the floor around me. It was polished marble, the white with grey veins shone in the light. Holding my hands up in front of my chest, I imagined a red brick. The dusty red sides started to form in front of me, the rough texture scratched my palms and fingers, the weight settled when it fully developed.

  “Alright, I have my brick.” I looked up in my mind to see him actually standing in front of me. Startled, I jumped back a step, a slight yelp escaped me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, but with the amount of focus necessary to perform this task, I felt it would be easier to join you.” Without the outside ambiance, I noticed his voice held a slight accent, but I couldn’t place where from. “Now that you have your brick, start placing them around the perimeter of your mind, it’s alright to only do the first row.” I closed my eyes again and tried solidifying the edges of my mind, envisioning the rust-colored bricks lining up to start the first tier of my shield. I concentrated, but it was too overwhelming to create so much at one time.

  “It looks like you’re able to get some portions, but not a consistent layer. Let’s try something different. Sometimes it helps to use a memory. We are essentially locking down your mind from the outside world, protecting it from intrusions. Was there ever a time where you felt threatened? Something that made you feel unsafe or afraid?” I stiffened. I have a plethora of those. Nodding in response, I didn’t trust my voice. “Alright, I want you to pull up that memory, use that as motivation. That unsafe feeling? Push it away, block it out. Keep whatever is causing that fear out. Protect yourself.”

  Protect yourself echoed through me, radiating down to the deepest part of me. I felt the command surround me, the very thought of him, made me want to lash out. Protect yourself. As soon as I blocked him out, realizing I could keep him away from me. I felt my mental shield slam into place like a cell door in a prison. I fell to my knees, breathless and tired swaying with lightheadedness. I opened my eyes and was met with complete darkness. The shield created a solid dome over me cutting off all light and any outside interference.

  “Alex?” My voice rang out, echoing against the smooth stone beneath my fingers. Silence, I stood up and reached out to where he had been standing and came up empty. I did it. I left the locked dome i
n my mind and focused on getting back to the real world. I was slumped forward in the chair with hands bracing against my shoulders to keep me from falling out of my seat completely.

  “Whatever memory you used was extraordinarily effective.” Alex’s voice sounded low. I finally was able to open my eyes all while my head pounded in time with my pulse. “You not only were able to create a solid shield, but you expelled me in the process. Do you mind if I ask which memory you used?” I gritted my teeth.

  “I used multiple.” I grunted, easing myself into an actual sitting position, leaning heavily against the back of the chair. His hands remained on my shoulders, as though he wasn’t sure I could remain upright on my own, the pounding eased slightly. “I would really rather not talk about it. Let’s just say I had the necessary ammunition.” His eyes hardened, lips thinning out into a tight line.

  “While I understand you may not wish to discuss such things at this time, I must implore. As the dean, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of my students. Lucie, is the cause of this fear still a threat to you?” His voice was low, the honeyed cadence clipped in anger. I shook my head.

  “I don’t think so, but”—I hesitated—“he doesn’t know where I am and if he finds out…” I trailed off with a small shrug.

  “I won’t pry for details, but if it looks at all like he”—the word was dripping with disdain as it rolled off his tongue—“ever becomes a problem for you or anyone you know, please know you can come to me.” The heat from his hands seared through my jacket, easing the shivers that had started wracking my body. I moved my eyes from the knot of his black tie to his sky-blue irises. His usually pleasant face had shifted into a terrifyingly cold expression. “Promise me, Lucie. Please,” he urged.

  “I promise.” My voice almost non-existent as I did as he asked. His reaction to my admission, information only my mom and Char knew, was extreme. It was more intense than I expected from someone who didn’t know me. He leaned back and stood, straightening his suit jacket.

  “I think that’s enough for today. You used a large amount of your mana stores creating a shield that advanced. Take the rest of the day to rest and make sure you eat, it’ll help keep up the energy your body needs to replace. You did very well today. If it’s alright with you, I would like to continue to work with you on mental defense work outside of your scheduled class time. If your ability to shield like you did today is any indication, you’ll advance quickly. I would like to meet on Friday mornings if that would work for you, I know you enjoy your shifts at the library.”

  He continued to talk as we walked out of the booth. My attention split between listening to him and looking around the seats of the auditorium, they were empty signifying students were still working. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs that headed up to my desk and turned to him.

  “As long as I’m able to continue working at the library and go see the Kohl games, I would appreciate working with you. I want to learn and do the best I can. I feel like I’m well behind everyone with growing up as a human.” His eyes crinkled around the edges as he smiled at me.

  “I understand, I’ll email you a schedule of when to come to my office. We won’t start until next week to give you some more time to adjust to classes and campus life. It was lovely meeting you, Lucie. I’ll be in touch.” He shook my hand again before he turned and strode confidently out the room. I looked to see if our professor was at her desk, but it was as empty as the rest of the room. Must be helping with another student, I surmised. Unsure of whether I should stay for the last twenty minutes of class, I walked up to my desk and sat down, closing my eyes against the room that had begun to spin.

  “Hey, princess. You’re done early.” I opened my eyes and willed the room to still. I couldn’t entirely focus, so I rubbed my hands up and down my face a few times, catching a glimpse of the clock.

  “Yeah, I’ve been done for about fifteen minutes. Alex said I needed to take it easy for the rest of the day, but I wasn’t sure if I should leave class. I must have zoned out after I sat down.” My voice was thick with exhaustion.

  “Alex, huh?” Hudson dropped down into the seat to my right. “How did it go?” He leaned forward on his toned forearms, the honey-colored skin a stark contrast to his grey sleeves that had been pushed up to his elbows.

  “It was a struggle at first, but I was able to get my shield up after a bit of finagling.”

  “You were able to get the solid shield up?” He leaned away from me and turned his torso putting his weight on his right arm. “Like completely?”

  “Yup.” I popped the p at the end of the word, the exhaustion I was feeling making me feel loopy and silly. “I was also able to push him out of my mind when I slammed the shield down.” He sat completely still.

  “How did you do that?” His voice was low, laced with awe.

  “How did she do what?” Cam added as he sat in the seat next to me.

  “I was able to shut Alex out of my mind when I locked down my shield,” I informed him. What’s the big deal? They seemed thoroughly impressed but I just did what felt instinctive. My tired brain couldn’t keep up with the conversation or their silent communication with each other.

  “Wow, that’s crazy. You forced out Dean Renaud?” Cam’s voice was surprised with his eyebrows nearing his hair. “I’m with Hudson, how did you do that?”

  “I don’t know.” I shifted in my seat and averted my gaze to the desk in front of me. “Just trying to feel and visualize a brick wall wasn’t working. I kept having holes, so he had me pick out a memory where I felt afraid or unsafe. Use that as motivation, shut out those feelings, lock everything down. Protect yourself.” I shrugged, not sure how much more I was willing to say. I wanted to tell them. They must already have an idea of what I wasn’t saying, but I couldn’t bring myself to divulge all of it. Not yet.

  “Princess, did it have anything to do with the scars and bruising? Your anxiety?” Hudson’s voice was rough with emotion, he ran his fingers through my hair pushing it away from my face. His fingers were warm against my scalp. Fuck that feels good. My eyes shifted closed as I leaned into his warm palm and took a shaky breath. After the day I’ve had, this is exactly what I needed. “Do you like this?” His voice still rough, but now it held a hint of heat. I made a noise not wanting to think. So tired. He chuckled at me as Cam’s hand came up resting at the top of my neck. He started rubbing softly against my knots.

  “Holy shit, Lucie. Your neck is like one giant knot. Why are you so tense?” Cam’s fingers focused more on the worst of the knots, right at the base. I moaned at how good it felt.

  “Lucie, you didn’t answer my question,” Hudson reminded me. I squeezed my eyes closed and forced the words out of my mouth.

  “Yes, they’re related.” Their fingers stilled. My voice was quiet. I didn’t want those around me knowing my shitty past, but I also promised to talk to them about it eventually.

  “Was it an ex?” Hudson asked quietly, shifting closer to keep our conversation private. I could feel his breath on my neck. Their fingers had resumed their motions, lulling me into a near meditative state.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m too exhausted.” I swallowed hard, memories pushed forward shattering my haze of relaxation. I have to get out of here. I pulled away from them when I heard the rest of the bags around the room being shuffled around. Their fingers fell away from me, but they didn’t make any movements to back up. I made sure I had everything in my bag before stepping out of my seat. “I’ll see you guys later.” I hurried down the stairs feeling my heart sputter painfully, my drowsy mood swiftly becoming panic. Just get to your room, I commanded as I pushed out into the overcast weather.

  My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen, my vision tunneling. His soft fingers were hard, digging into my neck…

  12

  September 6th

  Thursday Evening

  Logan

  Landon and I collapsed on the loveseat in our dorm. Energy manipulation ha
d been rough today, I felt drained and tired. Our yin and yang style powers allowed us to work together in practice, I would create force fields while he worked to destroy them. The only power we both had was to control hellfire. Kicking off my shoes, I texted the rest of the guys to head on over.

  Logan: “we’re back, door’s open. Not moving until it’s time to pass out.”

  Dante: “I’ll head down, want anything to drink?” Leave it to Dante to think of drinks after an exhausting day.

  Camden: “bring something, I could use it.” Has hell frozen over? Cam never drank alcohol.

  Nik: “you ok?” He must have also realized something was wrong.

  Hudson: “we’ll tell you when we get there. It’s not good.” Trepidation worked its way into my chest. My twin felt the same if the frown on his face was any indication.

  Landon: “did something happen to lemon drop?” That had been my first thought as well. He started to put his shoes back on, probably planning to go find her, when we got another response making him pause to check his phone.

  Camden: “she’s okay, but it is about her. Heading over now.” I looked over at Landon, seeing a matching look of worry in his eyes. At least I’m not alone.

  Our misfit family filed into the living area, Dante set two large bottles of liquor on the table along with some plastic cups and 12 pack of soda. Cam, in a very un-Cam-like fashion, grabbed the whiskey, unscrewed the top and took several large pulls before handing it off to Hudson who did the same. Between the two of them, they finished over half of the bottle.