Even though it mattered, even though they all mattered so damn much, it wasn’t enough. I would do anything for Bells. Including giving my life.
Besides, I had a better chance of surviving repeated assassination attempts. She’d totally kick my ass for saying such a thing, but it was the fucking truth.
I’d rather have these assholes come after me than her.
Just to make this clear, though—this deal did not mean I was giving up. Quite the contrary. I would fight like hell. I just had to know she was safe.
I said nothing else. I just sat there while a blizzard raged inside me, leaving me cold yet determined. I sat straight, kept my face blank, and waited for whatever it was he would say.
Crone’s head tilted to the side, his eyes shining with something that appeared slightly like surprised admiration. I didn’t let it fool me, though. A man like him probably took pleasure in crushing something he admired. In his twisted mob mind, it probably made him think he was somehow better.
“I can respect a man who is willing to come all the way here without anything to barter with except his own life.”
“But?”
“It changes nothing.”
Cold, bony fingers clutched my heart and squeezed. “One girl means that much to you?”
“It’s not the girl that matters. It’s what she symbolizes.”
I sat there for a few long, silent minutes, reining in the anger threatening to explode. It wouldn’t do any good. To rage. To give a reaction. It’s what he wanted. I knew that.
But fuck. It was hard.
I wanted nothing more than to punch this glass until it shattered so I could lunge through and wrap my angry hand around his throat. The sound of him choking and gurgling as the example I made out of him would be sweet.
After allowing myself to live in that thought, I pushed it back and sat forward. My elbows hit the concrete counter, and I leaned close to the holes drilled into the glass.
“Remember this moment,” I intoned, my voice quiet and chilling. I let that chill, the power of the arctic wind inside me, rise to the surface of my silvery eyes. “Remember the chance I gave you to walk away from her.” I tapped on the glass in front of him. “Because if you keep coming for her, then I’ll have no choice but to come for you.”
His eyes flickered. Something that admittedly surprised me. I didn’t show it, though.
Instead, I stood, the metal legs of my chair making an ear-cringing sound as they were forced back to accommodate my body. I towered for just the briefest moment at the glass, gazing down on the physically weaker man before dismissing him completely.
The door buzzed before I even got to it. The guard held it open, anticipating my arrival.
“Thanks, man,” I said low as I went through, not even slowing my pace an ounce.
The second that heavy door latched behind me, I halted, turning back. The guard was there, waiting for me to look.
“First time that man has ever sat still and watched someone walk away from him,” he told me, approval in his tone.
“Maybe being inside is making him soft.” I deliberated.
“Or maybe he’s never met someone as hard as him.”
I dropped the cloak of black armor I’d wrapped around myself and smiled. “Me? Nah. I’m just a snow jock with a bum knee.”
The guard made a sound, glancing up and down the corridor as if to note we were still alone. The whites of his eyes were a stark contrast against the midnight color of his skin. “A snow jock who smacked his head, broke his jaw, and dislocated his shoulder during a qualifying match but still managed to finish competing and secure a spot on the Olympic team.”
“Good times,” I mused, thinking back to that day. Sheer will kept me on the board. Just like sheer will was going to keep Bells alive.
The guard cleared his throat and stepped away from his post at the door. When he was a few steps closer, his voice lowered. “I don’t know why you’re here to see a man like that.” His eyes rolled back to the room I’d just left. “But I do know that if it was enough to bring you here, then it’s not good.”
“Every man’s gotta look a threat in the eye,” I replied.
“It’s a good thing you got snow in your veins.” He began. “Because dealing with a man like that, you have to be cold.”
I nodded and started to walk away.
“Hey,” the guard called.
I turned.
“It was an honor. You represented our country well during your times in the Olympics.” He held out his hand.
I slid mine into it and shook. “Thank you.”
He nodded. Then in a low voice, he added, “You ever need anything, just ask. Name’s Reggie.”
My eyes met his for a meaningful second, and I knew if I ever needed it, I had an ally. “I respect the work you do here. Can’t be easy sitting inside this concrete cage day after day.”
He moved back to his post. “It’s a job.”
“You know the Olympics are finally coming to the U.S.,” I said. I tried to ignore the pang of regret it gave me. Those should have been my games. My gold.
He grinned. “‘Bout damn time. Already looking forward to next year.”
“What’s your favorite winter game?”
“Snowboarding, of course.”
I chuckled, even though I had to force the sound past the rock in my throat. “Of course. I’ll see if I can get ahold of some tickets for you. Will be a nice change of scenery from this concrete jungle.”
His eyes rounded. “No shit?”
I laughed. “No shit.”
“Damn. That would be something.”
I started to walk away again. The walls of this asylum were closing in on me.
“Any chance you might return to defend your title? On your home turf?” His voice rang out behind me.
My steps faltered, and I closed my eyes briefly. “Don’t think the knee will hold up,” I said, keeping my tone passive.
“If anyone could make a comeback, it would be you.”
I laughed and continued on. I didn’t have it in me to stand there and fake it anymore. I was suddenly beyond exhausted. My limbs were limp, my feet heavy.
I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Bellamy.
A comeback, he’d said.
It wasn’t a comeback I needed. Not for everything going on in my life right now.
It was a miracle.
Bellamy
I went and got a phone. Then we picked up a pizza. The entire time we were doing these things, I was wholly preoccupied with Liam and what he was up to.
Where is he?
Alex told me not to worry. Liam told me not to worry.
I worried regardless.
You know what all the worrying and pizza got me?
A stomachache.
After just a slice and a half, I found myself in the bathroom in front of the toilet, bringing it all back up. Just FYI: it doesn’t taste as good the second time around.
TMI?
Too bad. If I have to suffer, so do you.
I shut both the bedroom and bathroom doors and turned on the faucet to try and disguise the noise. I didn’t want Alex to know I was puking. He’d just tell Liam and make him worry more.
Liam worried way too much lately. He carried the weight of everyone on his shoulders. I knew whatever he was doing right now had to do with it, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out his plan.
I was worried about him. I was worried about everyone, and clearly it was starting to take a toll on my health.
After rinsing out my mouth and splashing water over my face, I patted it dry while studying myself in the mirror. I was tired and queasy, my skin too pale.
How much more of this could any of us take?
I wondered not for the first time if staying here had been the right choice or if it just dragged too many good people into the mess of my life.
It’s too late now. They’re all involved.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat
, I dropped the towel onto the sink, noting that it knocked something onto the floor. I bent to pick up the small, white paper bag, staring at it clutched in my fingers.
Oh.
Glancing inside, I pulled out the receipt, scanning it for the date.
The second I saw it, I shoved the bag on the counter and snatched up my new phone. It took a minute to find the calendar, but once I did, I stared at it dumbfounded, just as I had the white bag.
I’d gotten those birth control pills weeks ago. They’d been sitting on the counter, waiting for me to start them the Sunday after my next period.
A period that never came.
Numbly, I put down the phone, glancing between it and the bag.
It couldn’t be.
You damn well know it could.
Maybe it wasn’t the extreme stress and anxiety I’d been under that had me running for the bathroom and vomiting what felt like almost every night.
Maybe it was something else.
Liam
It was very early in the morning when I unlocked the door and stepped inside my place. Charlie, with a low woof, was the first into the kitchen.
I dropped all my shit on the counter and petted the dog while looking through the kitchen and into the living room. Bellamy was curled up on the chair near the fireplace, a blanket draped over her. My heart tumbled beneath my ribs seeing her there, looking so innocent and vulnerable. It made me angry all over again that the face-to-face with Crone pretty much got me nowhere.
She deserved so much better.
My eyes stayed fastened on her as I moved quietly into the room, stopping just a few feet away to stare at her.
“Yo,” a voice whispered from the couch. I glanced over at Alex sitting up on the couch, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “How’d it go?”
I shook my head regretfully. “Pretty much like we predicted.”
Alex grunted. “You had to go.”
“Yeah, I did,” I murmured, glancing back at Bells. I’d do it again, too, if I thought I might get anywhere.
There weren’t many people I could genuinely say I hated in this life, but Perry Crone? That asshole had a special throne in hell just waiting for him.
“How was she?” I gestured to her with my chin.
“How do you think?”
“Fuck,” I muttered. I put her through all that and still came home with nothing to show for it.
She stirred on the chair, the blanket sliding down, hanging partway onto the floor. “Liam?”
“I’m home.” I confirmed.
Her eyes widened, still looking drowsy. She pushed out of the chair so fast her legs tangled in the blanket, which sent her spiraling to the floor. I moved quickly, scooping her up and holding her against me.
Bellamy tilted her chin and smiled up at me. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here.”
Everything around us was so fucked up. But damn, when she smiled at me like that, all felt right with the world.
I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. Sweeping her up off her feet, I cradled her body against mine. “We’re going to bed,” I called over my shoulder.
Bellamy’s arms wound tight around my neck, her soft breath tickling against my skin. The bedroom was cool and quiet, the only sound the wind outside.
“It started snowing about an hour ago,” I murmured, setting her down in our bed.
“The blizzard,” she whispered.
I nodded. By tomorrow, everything would be buried under a world of white.
“I don’t want to talk tonight.” Her words surprised me.
I began pulling off my clothes. “You don’t?”
She shook her head. “Will you just hold me?”
The second I slipped between the sheets, I pulled her close. We both sighed in contentment. I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep, but I was wrong.
***
The snow was still fiercely coming down the next morning, the wind gusting with ferocity, and the visibility out the window was practically zero. Leaving Bellamy cocooned in bed, I slipped into a hot shower, wanting to wash off the travel and the prison. I’d wanted to do it the second I got home, but Bells’s request and the way she felt all warm and soft in my arms superseded that by like a million.
I lingered under the spray because it felt good against my tight muscles and because I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation I knew I was going to be having this morning.
Eventually, I coaxed myself out of the steamy bathroom, clad in nothing but a pair of loose sweatpants, still rubbing a towel over my head.
Bellamy was sitting up in the center of the bed, blankets piled around her, with a dog who easily outweighed her at her side. He beat his tail against the mattress as I approached, which made him seem like far less of a traitor.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” I spoke quietly.
“You weren’t at the doctor, Liam.”
I let the towel fall out of my hand onto the floor. “I wasn’t at the doctor.”
“Where were you?”
“You aren’t going to like it.” I warned.
I was stalling. I was a procrastinating procrastinator.
Bellamy rolled her eyes, enhancing the adorable just-woke-up look she had going on. “Well, when you didn’t walk in with a diamond, I figured it probably wasn’t good news.”
I paused. “You want a diamond?”
A frustrated sound escaped her lips. “What I want is to know where you were and why you lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie,” I insisted. “I always intended to tell you. I just wanted to wait until I was home.”
“Semantics,” she injected.
I blew out a breath and went for it. “I went to see Perry Crone.”
Her entire face and eyes went blank, sort of like a computer screen that died right in the middle of a big project. Slowly, I watched her reboot. A little realization came into her blue eyes, and she blinked.
“What did you just say?” she whispered.
“I wanted to look him in the eye. I had to see if—”
“You went to the prison in New York to visit the man who is trying to kill me?”
“Y—”
“The most notorious mobster in the modern era…”
“I—”
“How the hell did you even get access to him?” she burst out.
I remained silent. Clearly, she wasn’t really ready for my explanation.
“Well!” she demanded as I stood there and said nothing.
“Can I talk yet?”
“Don’t you take that tone with me, Mr. Mattison!” She shook her finger in the air. Charlie licked it with his giant tongue, and she wiped it on my pillow. “I cannot believe you!”
“That I went to see Crone or that I asked if I could speak?”
Her eyes narrowed.
I sighed. “The FBI got me in to see him. A special favor, I guess, because you know, they’ve almost gotten you killed more times than I care to count.”
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” she exclaimed, rising out of the nest of blankets like an angry snake ready to strike. “My God, Liam! You’ve made even more of a target of yourself!”
She crawled over the dog and nearly fell out of the bed. She would have had I not caught her. She didn’t linger in my arms. Instead, she yanked herself away and stalked across the room. “Why would you do this?” she stressed. “Don’t you understand how powerful he is?”
“I don’t give a damn how powerful he is!” I yelled.
She spun around, wide-eyed.
“I’m not going to let that son of a bitch sit in some cell, feeling all superior, thinking I’m just going to sit back and let him do whatever the fuck he wants to my girl!”
Her shoulders slumped. “What did you say to him?”
“I asked him what it would take to get him to call off the hit.”
“What did he say?”
I shook my head, still hating him for being exactly who I knew he was.
/> “He wouldn’t do it, would he?” Bellamy scoffed. “Of course he wouldn’t. He doesn’t have to. And now you’ve put yourself on his radar.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about me!” I roared.
“Well, I do!” Bellamy roared back.
She swayed a little on her feet, blindly reaching out to steady herself on the dresser. I rushed forward, not even hesitating to grab her by the waist.
“Hey…” My voice was instantly calm and concerned. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” she said, looking pale. “I’m just… I can’t believe you went there.”
“You deserve better than this, Bells. I’m tired of watching you look over your shoulder, swallowing panic every time someone knocks on the door, and staring at the phone longingly because you want to talk your mother.”
“Liam.” She reached for my face, but I pulled back.
“Life is too fucking short as it is. You have a goddamn escape bag in the closet, and you’ve been learning to use a gun!” I paused to take a breath, trying my best not to yell at her because this wasn’t her fault.
“What else?” She urged.
“My father is dying,” I burst out. “He gets weaker every day. He’s at the office less and less because it’s just too fucking much for him. I will not lose him and you, too. I won’t fucking do it, Bellamy.”
She started forward. I hitched a breath and took a step back.
“So yeah, I went to the prison, and I looked into Crone’s eyes. I told him exactly what the fuck would happen if he didn’t step away from you, and you know what?”
“What?” she whispered, almost as if she were afraid to ask.
“I meant it. I meant every threat that came out of my mouth.”
Bellamy put a hand up to her throat. The color returning to her cheeks leeched out again. “You threatened him?”
“No,” I intoned darkly. “I made him a promise.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t have done this.”
“It’s exactly why I waited to tell you until now, so you couldn’t try to stop me.”
“This is how it’s going to be, then?”
Blizzard (BearPaw Resort #2) Page 23
