My brow furrowed. “What?”
“You just do whatever the hell you want, and I wonder every time you aren’t in sight what you’re doing and what kind of danger you’re putting yourself in?”
My chest ached because I knew this was hurting her, but what choice did I have? “I will do whatever I have to do to protect you.”
“You’re scared.”
I drew up short. I really wasn’t expecting her to say that.
“I’m scared, too. Everything is chaos right now.” She put a hand to her stomach, holding it there for a moment before dropping it to her side. Bellamy came forward, reaching for my face. This time I let her grasp it, allowing her soft palms to brush against the scruff on my jaw. “You just want some control.”
I nodded, mesmerized by the blue of her eyes, the tone of her voice, and the feel of her skin on mine.
“Promise me, Liam.”
“Promise you what?”
“Promise me you will never go back there. That you will never see Perry Crone again.”
I started to shake my head, but her fingers tightened on my face, holding me so I had to look nowhere but her eyes.
“I need you home. Your family needs you safe.”
Something about the way she said that struck me.
“Bellamy…”
“Promise.”
The desperation in her eyes forced my hand.
“I promise.”
She released my face and fell into my arms. I couldn’t help but notice the slight tremble in her limbs. Had I really scared her that badly by going to that prison?
Or was there something else?
Bellamy
I buckled way too fast. I let him off the hook for doing something so dangerous and utterly insane. Hell, I couldn’t even really get on him for lying.
Because right now I was doing the same.
Liam
Word was out. People knew of my father’s diagnosis, and they knew his time was limited. I guess really it was only a matter of time before people found out. After all, I was being groomed to take his place, and before, I’d barely been in the executive offices, having spent all my time out on the slopes.
God, I fucking miss the slopes.
The second I started showing up in meetings and frequenting the offices, tongues started wagging. And with him being present less and less, he felt it best he make an announcement.
I hated it and wished we didn’t have to tell anyone anything. I wanted to protect him from the prying eyes, the pity looks, and the tears half the staff was raining all over the place.
Everyone at BearPaw was family, though. Some days I loved that, and some days I completely hated it. My father wasn’t just my father. He was the father of this entire place. He created it. He nurtured it and made it what it was today. The staff loved him; everyone did. I supposed they all had a right to know.
Still. He might be everyone’s father, but he would only ever be my dad.
While everyone else cried and was all woe is me, I was buckling down. Learning everything I could, taking meetings, and reading a billion financials and documents that honestly bored the living shit out of me.
It wouldn’t always be like this, though. Once I filled the tank with all the knowledge I needed, it would become a muscle memory, and I could spend more time running this place and less chained behind a report.
At least I hoped so.
It was like learning how to board. I had to get the basics down before I could get to the fun. With my brain going right back to snowboarding, I pushed out from behind the desk and turned to the window.
My neck and shoulder muscles were sore and tight. I rotated my head and pulled my arms back for a stretch while staring out at the snow.
The sky was heavy with the promise of more. The two feet we’d already gotten lay thickly over everything, pristine and untouched because most outdoor activities were suspended due to the gale-force winds.
I itched beneath the jeans and dress shirt I was wearing. My skin felt suffocated and tight. All that untouched powder beyond these windows beckoned to me like the most dangerous siren to ever rise from the sea. What I wouldn’t give to go out there right now, wind and knee be damned, and cut through it all. My board leaving distinct indents that might as well be my initials.
I used to own that mountain.
And now?
Here I was standing behind some glass, looking at it like an animal cut off from the wild.
Glancing down at my leg, I wondered how my knee would fare. Physical therapy was going well, even though it was hard to find time to fit it in. Last time I was injured, I did more for recovery than I was currently.
I had more time back then. Less responsibilities.
A father who wasn’t dying.
I was sorely tempted to burst out of this office, raid the locker I still kept in the instructor quarters, and break out on that mountain. No one could stop me.
I could take that mountain back.
God, what I wouldn’t give to feel the work of my muscles, the bitter bite of winter across my cheeks. Hear the sounds of crunching snow and the whistle of the wind as I barreled down the mountain.
The glass of the window was shockingly cold when my hand pressed against it. I glanced over, not even realizing I’d moved. So close to it all yet so fucking far away.
Going out there right now would be a dipshit move, and I was no dipshit. My knee needed more time, and I had work to do in here.
Regardless, I stood there at the huge windows and watched drifts of snow blow, the air turning white with powder, and imagined the way it would feel spraying against my bare cheeks.
My phone went off behind me, forcing me out of my happy place. A gruff sound ripped from me, but I spun to snatch up the device. I wouldn’t just let it ring, not on the off chance it was Bells, my parents, or Alex.
Everyone else, though, I wished I could order straight to hell.
I made the mistake of not looking at the caller ID. I guess I was still kinda lost in the snow. “Yeah,” I bit into the line.
“I have to say I’m shocked. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
My eyes closed briefly, and that feeling of homesickness I felt at the window intensified.
“I’ve been busy,” I replied, resigned to this call. I had been avoiding it like the plague.
“That surprises me. Used to be nothing else was as important as your career.”
“Things change,” I murmured.
“I’ve been hearing whispers you reinjured the knee.”
“Snooping is not your best quality, Joiner.”
Tom Joiner was my trainer/coach. He’d been with me my entire career as a pro snowboarder.
“You saying it’s not true?”
A rude noise filled the line. “I stretched my ACL a few weeks back.”
“That why you haven’t been returning my calls?”
“Partly.” Totally.
“How bad is it?”
“Not as bad as before. I didn’t need surgery, and I already had a treatment to tighten back up. I’ve been doing PT. It can bear full weight already.”
“Then I repeat: why haven’t you been returning my calls?”
I sighed loudly. “I’m not up to competing. I’m nowhere close to Olympics ready.”
“Not yet. It’s my job to make you ready. I can’t do that if you’re avoiding my calls.”
“My personal life is a mess right now, Tom,” I admitted, turning back to the window. “Even if my knee could somehow withstand the training, I don’t have that kind of time right now.”
“If I remember correctly, boarding was always therapeutic for you.”
“There are people that need me right now.”
“We can work out a schedule. I’ll come to you.”
My chest squeezed. “No.”
He paused and cleared his throat. “I’ve been holding off all your sponsors, all the potential new ones reaching out because they want to
be part of your comeback.”
“There is no comeback,” I told him. “Not for me.”
“Talk to me, Mattison. Tell me what’s going on. It’s my job to make this work.”
With my thumb and forefinger, I pressed into my closed eyes. “I think it might be time for you to find a new job.”
“We’ve been together a lot of years. I know you. You don’t want to end your career because you have to. You’ve always wanted to go out on your own terms.”
I shut my eyes. Didn’t he know what he was doing? Baiting a fish that had already been caught. He didn’t have to tell me who I was, but the truth was it didn’t fucking matter.
“I said I can’t.”
Yeah, I could tell him about Dad. I could tell him about my new role here at the resort. I could even tell him I was in a committed relationship. Did any of it really matter, though? The answer was still the same.
“I can probably hold off the sponsors another week or so. But not much more than that. There’s a window to these things; you know that. Take a few more days. Really think about this, Liam. I can’t promise that when the Olympics come back around in a few years, this opportunity will come with them.”
I knew that. I knew exactly what I was closing the door on right now. I glanced at my reflection in the window, then back out to the slopes. I thought about Bells and my father, about all the people depending on me.
“I don’t need a few more days.” My voice took on a hard edge. “My days as a pro boarder are over.” I paused, swallowing. Those words burned. “Please give my regrets to Chevy. They’ve always been damn good to me.”
Before Tom could make me feel any worse, I ended the call.
The urge to pitch it across the room in a fit of frustration was pretty fucking strong. Instead, I spun away from the view and tossed it onto the desk covered in papers I only half understood.
Movement in the mostly closed doorway brought my eyes up.
The large wooden door pushed wide, revealing my father. I thought he’d gone home. Guess I thought wrong. And from the look on his face, he’d totally just eavesdropped on that call.
“I think we need to talk.”
Bellamy
I snuck out of work without telling anyone.
Actually, I told Chef D’alessio. I lied and told him I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to be around the food our guests would eat.
He sent me out of his kitchen instantly.
I definitely wasn’t feeling well, but what I had wasn’t contagious.
Liar-itis? Freaked-out-as-hell disease? Or maybe it was a combination of both.
Actually. No. I was pretty sure what I had was a baby. Liam’s baby growing inside me.
The instant I thought it, butterflies swarmed my tummy, my heartbeat rose, and a warm sensation that felt a lot like joy tingled through my limbs.
Then I remembered.
This was the worst timing ever for a surprise pregnancy. Liam was already freaked out enough by everything. Adding an innocent baby to the mix would push him over the edge.
Correction: adding his innocent baby who was growing inside a target for the mob.
Can you see the conundrum here?
If he was willing to go to such extremes as visiting Crone personally on my behalf, what would he do with an innocent baby at stake?
Ever since I realized how long ago I should have started those pills, ever since I looked at my calendar, I’d been unable to shake it—the absolute certainty that I was pregnant with Liam’s child.
I wanted to be happy. But how could I be, knowing everything I was bringing this child into?
We shouldn’t have been so careless. Because of me, another innocent person might suffer. And this one would be the worst yet.
I’d been so angry and frightened when Liam told me where he’d gone. But how could I give him hell when I had this big secret hanging over my head? How could I fight with him about trying to keep me (and consequently, his child) safe?
Maybe it wasn’t true. Perhaps the feelings of certainty I had were just my fear. I’d done the right thing by saying nothing because there might be nothing to say.
Which was exactly why I had to find out.
So I ducked out of work without telling anyone. It was the only time Liam and Alex weren’t watching me. The only time I didn’t have a freaking babysitter scrutinizing my every move.
The blizzard blanketed everything with two feet of snow. The newscasters said it was only intermission, though, that Mother Nature, or maybe it was Jack Frost, was only resting to dump another two feet on us starting tonight. I might have scoffed at the idea of another two feet, but the winds were still wild, creating dangerous conditions, promising more was to come.
Other places would have been under emergency, but not BearPaw. This place was equipped to handle the snow. That meant full electricity and indoor activities were a go. The roads were closed, though, which presented a problem.
Getting into the hospital for a blood test wasn’t an option.
I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t go another single day without knowing if I was carrying Liam’s baby.
I woke in the middle of the night and remembered the doctor’s office here at the resort. It had been opened a few years back for the comfort and peace of mind of all visitors. With so many outdoor activities available, the odds of injury went up. Not to mention the roads were closed frequently due to snow. Ren thought it good business to have a small office available, and thank goodness for that.
I walked to the main building. By the time I got there, my toes were numb and I couldn’t feel most of my face. It didn’t matter, though. I wouldn’t be deterred. I slinked along the hallways like a frozen ninja, terrified that an employee would see me and go running to Liam with news of me being in the building.
The small doctor’s office was empty when I walked in, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The nurse at the front desk glanced up then back down at whatever she was doing. “Hi, what can I do for you today?” she asked.
As I walked closer, I undid the scarf around me and pulled the blue hat off my head. “I’d like to see the doctor, please.”
“Bellamy!” she said, recognition dawning.
I forced a sweet smile and reminded myself it was nice to have people know me. It was much better than having to be invisible.
But damn, being invisible right about now sounded pretty enticing.
“Hello, nice to see you today.” I had no idea who she was. But everyone knew me. I was the one who took Liam off the market, you know.
*eye roll*
“Is everything okay? Are you sick? Should I call Liam?” She fretted, picking up the black phone on the desk.
“No!” I said, practically leaping over the counter.
The nurse’s eyes widened.
I leaned back and straightened my coat. “Liam is very busy. He’s in meetings, you know.” The nurse nodded. “This isn’t serious at all. I’ll just tell him about it when he gets home tonight.”
She hung up the phone. “What’s it like to live with him?”
Oh my gosh, she said that as if she daydreamed about it all the time.
I seriously considered screaming, “I’m pregnant with his baby, you ho, so forget it!” but I refrained.
“He snores,” was what I said instead.
She giggled. “Really?”
Geez, that was supposed to make him more unattractive, not the opposite.
“Is the doctor available?”
The nurse straightened and cleared her throat. “Sure. Sign in, please.”
I hesitated but then signed the log. I didn’t really have a choice. When I was done, I cleared my throat.
“You can have a seat,” she pointed at the waiting room chairs.
“Would it be possible to wait in a room? I just…” I leaned close. “People gossip around here. Not everyone is as cool as you.”
The nurse smiled. “Oh, don’t I totally know it.”
/> She ushered me to a private room, and before she shut the door, she told me how lucky I was to be with Liam. I smiled and thanked her, even though I wanted to kick her.
Once I was alone, I peeled off my coat and dropped it on the chair with my hat and scarf. I was pacing the room when a middle-aged doctor with a bald head knocked, then entered.
“Miss Lane,” he said, using the name I was legally given by the FBI.
I missed my old name. My real one. I took comfort in the fact at least everyone here knew me as Bellamy and not Bella.
“The nurse wasn’t able to tell me what you are here for today.”
I nodded. “I didn’t tell her.”
“Would you like to tell me?” he said, halfway smiling.
I gestured between us. “Doctor-patient confidentiality applies here, right?”
He frowned. “Well, yes, unless there is something illegal going on.”
“Oh no!” I hurried to assure him. “It’s nothing like that at all. I just want to keep this private. People around here like to talk.”
He glanced at me again. “Bellamy, you said… Isn’t Liam Mattison—”
“Yes.” I cut him off. “I’m his girlfriend.”
“Ah,” the doc mused. “I understand. Yes, everything you say to me stays in this room.”
“I’m pregnant,” I burst out.
“I see,” the doctor said, keeping his expression neutral.
“Actually, I don’t know if I am or not. But I’m late. Way late, and I’m never late. And I’ve been throwing up a lot… usually at night, though. Is night sickness a thing?”
“I take it this is a surprise?”
I nodded vigorously. Then I paused. “Well, I mean, it wasn’t planned, but I guess it’s not really a surprise.” I blushed.
“How about we run a test so you can know for sure?”
“You can do that here?”
“Sure can.”
“Thank God,” I mumbled.
“What was that?”
“I said great. I’d like to do it now, please.”
After I filled out some forms and answered about a thousand personal questions, he handed me a cup and told me to pee in it. When I was done, I slipped back into the exam room where he was still waiting. I couldn’t think of any instance that handing a cup of pee over to a man in a lab coat would ever be not awkward.
Blizzard (BearPaw Resort #2) Page 24
