Harvest of Hearts

by Laura Hilton

  Shanna waved her hand. “Flowers have different meanings, based on the type and color. I read about it once in a magazine. Thought it was interesting.”

  “Ah. So, which flower stands for ‘Ich liebe dich’?” The scent of the blossoms was overpowering. Matthew resisted the urge to hold his breath.

  “A red rose.” Shanna studied the display of flower arrangements wrapped in cellophane.

  “Then, out front by the porch of our haus, I’m going to plant a red rose bush.”

  She picked up a vase full of red carnations and baby’s breath. “This is pretty. Daed might like this.” Then, she hesitated and turned around, her eyes widening. “What? What did you say?” She ducked her head and blushed.

  He hoped the blush was a positive sign.

  “You don’t give up, do you?”

  “Nein reason to.”

  “I don’t understand why you want me.” She put the vase back on the shelf. “I can’t order any.” Her voice cracked.

  “Why not?” Matthew tilted his head.

  “He’s in intensive care. Flowers aren’t allowed.” Shanna stepped away from the displays. “But they are pretty.”

  “You could send a card.”

  Shanna walked over to the rack of cards and studied them. Matthew reached around her and picked up a plain one with gold trim. “Your daed would like this one. Nothing fancy.”

  “Danki. What should I say?”

  He shrugged. “Say what’s on your heart. I heard you tell him that you loved him. That might be a gut place to start.”

  Shanna paid for the card, then borrowed the pen at the checkout counter and wrote something on the inside of the card, slid it into the envelope, and sealed it. Next, she wrote “Levi Stoltzfus” on the outside and handed it to the clerk. “Thanks for your help.” She turned to Matthew. “And danki for the koffee. You’ll need to get back so you can catch a ride home with the bishop.”

  “Nein, I’ll ride home with you.” And pray the whole way home that they’d survive. He walked out of the shop and breathed in the unscented air.

  Shanna touched his arm. “Nein. I’m…I’m not going back.”

  “You’re running away again? You can’t mean that.” His heart ached. He hesitated a moment, praying for guidance. He’d rather be Englisch with Shanna than Amish without her. He could still serve the Lord. But maybe she’d realize where she truly belonged, and they could stay Amish together. Ach, Lord, let that be so. “Then, I will leave with you, Shanna.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.” She shook her head. Fresh tears started streaming down her cheeks.

  “I’m offering, Shanna. Ich liebe dich. And nothing will change that.”

  “But you’re Amish. You’ll always be Amish. And I don’t fit.”

  “Ach, Shanna.” Tears burned his eyes. He reached out and cupped her face in his palms. “You do fit. But that doesn’t matter. Ich liebe dich, and I always will, even if we’re Englisch.”

  The double doors opened again.

  Shanna stepped to the side, and Matthew dropped his arms, moving closer to her, his hand reaching for hers. Then, he looked over her shoulder and saw the bishop.

  e

  Shanna grasped Matthew’s hand, trying to draw from his strength. “Ich liebe dich, too, Matthew, but I can’t let you do that. You’d regret leaving for me. You are Amish to the core.”

  “Shanna Stoltzfus,” the bishop boomed. “I need to talk to you.”

  Shanna jerked to attention, horrified to think the bishop had heard her. But at least he would have heard her trying to talk Matthew out of leaving the Amish. Surely, he couldn’t condemn her for that.

  Matthew squeezed her hand, then released it and stepped away. “I’ll wait….” He looked around.

  “Nein,” the bishop said. “This concerns you, too. You can kum.” He headed toward the lobby. “Where is the chapel? That would be a quiet place to talk, if no one else is in there.”

  “It’s that way.” Shanna nodded toward some doors on the far side of the lobby. “But, really, it’s okay. I understand that I’m breaking the rules. Daed already spoke to me about it.”

  “You’re in your rumschpringe. I want to talk to you about your future. Matthew says that you want to come back as a midwife after you get your degree.”

  Shanna glanced at Matthew. He had suggested that. But she’d gotten upset with him and didn’t remember agreeing. Or maybe she had, nonverbally, when she’d agreed to let him court her. She knew the natural order of things.

  “And he says that with our approval, he’d like to marry you in December.”

  Shanna’s steps faltered. Matthew had already talked to the bishop about her? She stopped walking. The two men did, as well. Matthew studied the carpet and avoided her gaze.

  “I’ve prayed about this, and I discussed it with the preachers this afternoon after we met with Matthew, yet we didn’t reach a decision. But, now, I have. The doctor we spoke with said that Levi’s life was saved because of your quick actions. That he likely would have died if you hadn’t been there to help.”

  “I saved Daed’s life?” Shanna couldn’t believe it. “But they’re blaming me for causing the heart attack.”

  “Nein. They know now that you didn’t provoke the attack, and they know you saved him. They all do. Your mamm cried when the doctor said that. She said something about running you off.” He took a deep breath. “But let me finish. I think this training you’re getting is a gut thing. And we will—quietly—finance the rest of your training, if you agree to kum home and use it for the gut of the people.”

  Shanna blinked. “Really? You’d pay for me to get an education?”

  “I tried to find training for you before you ran away the first time.”

  She shook her head and opened her mouth, but she couldn’t find words to say.

  “God has His hand in this,” Bishop Sol went on. “His ways are not our ways. Gut for us all to remember, ain’t so?” He rubbed his chin. “I’ll agree to your going through instruction, joining the church, and marrying Matthew this winter.”

  Shanna’s heart thudded. Joy swept over her. She’d be able to marry Matthew and have her education. Then, reality crashed in. “But…but…but I’ll have to wear scrubs at school and for on-the-job training. And—”

  “Jah, I understand. But you will give up your car and get a ride into Springfield for your classes. You’ll stop wearing these….” He waved at her jeans and T-shirt. “And you will obey the Ordnung at all times, with the exception of your school uniform.”

  “You’re not going to make me leave?”

  He shook his head. “You have a gift, Shanna. The people need you. And God is providing your training. I’m not going to question how He moves.”

  “Danki!” Shanna flung her arms around the bishop’s neck and hugged him, forgetting the iced latte she held until she smashed it against his back. “Oops. Danki so much.” Then, she released him and turned to hug Matthew, being more careful with her drink. “Danki.”

  The bishop pulled on his beard. “But this impulsiveness of yours….” He grinned. “Maybe it has its place.”

  Chapter 27

  You still haven’t asked me to marry you. And we’re approved to marry in December?” Shanna planted her fists on her hips. “What’s wrong with this picture?”

  Matthew gave her what he hoped was a cheeky grin and didn’t answer. Instead, he pushed through the double doors into the waiting room.

  Joseph met them on the other side. “Mamm told me to stay here until you returned. They took Daed to a room in intensive care.” He led the way to an elevator and pushed a button. “They showed me the way to the room, or I wouldn’t ever be able to do this.”

  “I could have gotten us there,” Shanna said quietly. Matthew didn’t hear a smidgen of pride in her voice. Just a statement of fact.

  “Danki for saving Daed, Shanna.” Joseph pulled her close in a hug. “Sorry I blamed you.”

  She shrugged. “You’re
not the only one. I know my reputation. It’s okay.”

  A few minutes later, Shanna and Matthew followed Joseph into the ICU unit. Bertha stood alone outside the door.

  “I’ll go back and wait for the bishop.” Joseph took off down the hall.

  Bertha looked at Shanna. “Your mamm is inside the room with him.” She reached out and patted her hand. “I understand there was some quick thinking on your part. How did you know he was having a heart attack?”

  Shanna’s face flushed. “They taught me to recognize the signs and symptoms.” She sounded almost shy.

  Matthew reached for Shanna’s hand, feeling a bit of sinful pride. Then, Deborah came out of the room. “Ach, gut. You’re here, Matthew. He’s wanting to see you. And Shanna.” She embraced her daughter. “But you need to go in one at a time, and they limit how long.” She glared in the direction of the nurses’ station. “Don’t they realize we worry and want to be with him?”

  Matthew squeezed Shanna’s hand, then went into the room. Levi looked frail and sick, lying in the bed. This was not the robust, healthy farmer he was used to seeing. “You gave us quite a scare, there, Levi.”

  The older man nodded. “They tell me I’m lucky to be alive. That it was due to my daughter.” His voice caught. “Tell me she didn’t run away again.”

  “She’s right outside the room. Do you want to see her?”

  Relief washed over Levi’s face. “I was so afraid she would leave. So afraid. I want to see her, jah, but first, I need you. Upstairs, in my room in the barn loft, there are two things. One, the more important thing, is a box. It’s for Shanna. Her name is on the outside of it. Give it to her.”

  Matthew nodded. “I’ll be glad to. And the second?”

  Levi glanced around, even though they were alone in the room, and lowered his voice. “My furniture, it is shipped all over the United States and Canada. I have permission to have a Web site. A computer. It is up there. I’ll need you to check my e-mail and respond to any order requests. You and Joseph can handle it for a while, until I kum home. I have my computer set up so that my e-mail account opens automatically when it’s turned on. If you don’t know how to use a computer, get Shanna to help you.”

  “A computer?” Matthew raised his eyebrows.

  “Shh. It’s a secret. Business related. I agreed to keep it locked up and out of sight, secret from even my family. Since the barn was already wired for electric for my brother….”

  Matthew swallowed, overwhelmed at the task Levi asked of him. “I’ll need Shanna to help. I have no experience with computers.”

  Levi nodded. “Shanna will know how. I trust you to keep it secret. I want Shanna now.”

  ***

  Shanna passed Matthew and entered the dimly lit room. Daed still looked pale, and unhealthy, especially with all those wires connecting him to the monitor. She glanced at the numbers, but they didn’t register. She stumbled up to Daed’s bed, blinded by her tears as she mentally replayed parts of their last conversation. She searched his face. “I’m so sorry, Daed. It’s all my fault that you got so upset.”

  Daed made a hushing sound. “It’s okay, Shanna.” He opened his arms a bit, and she threw herself into them.

  He held on like he’d never let go. “Don’t leave…can live in the apartment.”

  Shanna leaned back and gazed into his eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I’m not going far. I’m going to join the church.”

  “Gut.” His hands tightened around hers. “Ich liebe dich.”

  “Ich liebe dich,” she whispered.

  Shanna stayed in Daed’s room until the nurse came in and told her to go home. She promised to call her on her cell phone if anything changed. It was past midnight, but Shanna was sure she was too keyed up to sleep.

  When they arrived at home, Mamm went inside and collapsed into a chair. Joseph hitched up the bishop’s horse and buggy, as he had offered to take Mrs. Troyer and Ruth home. The bishop and his wife had been taken home from the hospital by the hired driver.

  Shanna prowled around the kitchen. She’d been so sure she’d never be in this house again. She opened the refrigerator and saw a chocolate cream pie. Becky must have brought it over, after all. She set it on the table and cut herself a slice. After the suspense about Daed and her excitement over the bishop’s decision, she figured she had an excuse to indulge. Coping mechanism. She grabbed a fork and dived in, savoring every bite, overwhelmed at the outpouring of love the entire community had showed.

  Joseph came inside about forty-five minutes later. “That girl giggles nonstop. Don’t know how anyone can stand it.” He shook his head and staggered toward the stairs, maybe hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before the morning chores.

  Matthew came into the kitchen next, carrying a flashlight. “I need to do one more thing before going to bed,” he told Shanna. She watched him take a key off the hook by the door. The skeleton key to Daed’s special room.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Your daed told me to go up to the loft and get something for you. He wants you to have it right away.”

  Shanna set her empty plate in the sink and followed him out the door. “What is it?”

  Matthew shook his head. “He didn’t say.”

  They hurried over to the barn. Matthew flicked on the flashlight to dispel the gloomy darkness inside, and then Shanna followed him over to the forbidden door. He handed her the flashlight to hold and then inserted the key into the keyhole. A few seconds later, the door creaked open. Matthew took the flashlight from her and started up the stairs.

  “I’ve never been up here before,” Shanna whispered as she crept upward after Matthew, feeling a mixture of fear and excitement. She was glad for Matthew’s presence. When they reached the loft, Shanna pulled on the string that dangled from a bare lightbulb. Her gaze fell on an old desktop computer in the center of a wooden table. Ledgers were spread out beside it, and a cell phone charger stood nearby. “Ach, look at this!” She stepped over to the machine. “A computer! Matthew, did you know about this?” She shook her head. “I kind of suspected Daed had something like this. I never could figure out how else he’d get all his business orders from other states.”

  “I’ll need you to teach me to use it. But show me tomorrow. Right now….” Matthew looked around. “He wanted you to have this.” He lifted a box, similar to those Mamm received books in when she ordered them from a catalog. “Shanna” was scrawled on the outside.

  He picked up the box and carried it down the stairs. Shanna turned off the light and followed behind.

  “Where do you want this? The haus or your apartment?” At the bottom of the stairs, he handed her the box and relocked the door, then pocketed the key.

  “Ach, this feels like Christmas. Let’s take it to the apartment.” She quivered with excitement as she opened the door and flipped the light on. “I probably shouldn’t use the electric, since I’m joining the church, but….” She set the box on the coffee table in front of the couch.

  “It’s okay,” Matthew said. “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Nein. Stay.” She sat down on the couch, and Matthew came to sit beside her.

  Taking a deep breath, she opened the top flaps of the box and peeked inside. “Letters?” The box was full of envelopes, and, as she began shuffling through them, she realized they had all been addressed to her.

  She lifted one out, opened it, and carefully removed the letter inside. When she unfolded it, she glanced at the date. It had been written two months ago.

  Dear Shanna,

  Not a day goes by when I don’t miss you. I want you to kum home. I’m sorry for what I did to drive you away. You’re my daughter, and ich liebe dich. Maybe someday I’ll have the courage to mail these letters. All of them ask the same thing….

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  “Daed loves me. All this time, he’s loved me.” She remembered his words, whispered at the hospital. “All this time….” Tears filled her eyes.

 
Matthew scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his side. “And ich liebe dich.”

  Shanna’s heart pounded as his finger traced over her lips. But he didn’t lean in for a kiss.

  Instead, he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Shanna, I’ve loved you since the day I met you—the strange, fascinating, beautiful woman who talked about going to Mexico. I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you, if you’ll have me. Will you marry me in December? Please?”

  “You’re supposed to be on your knees.” Shanna choked back a sob, but when he started to release her, she held him tighter. “Never mind that. Ich liebe dich, Matthew. Jah, I’ll marry you.”