All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3)

by Fabiola Francisco

  “You look beautiful,” Rae exclaims. “You should wear that.”

  “Are you sure? It’s not too short?” I twirl around, trying to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror. Times like this call for a full-length mirror. I’m sure I can find a cheap one at Wal-Mart.

  “No. You look so pretty. You’re always pretty, but this dress makes you look different. I think Jason will like it.”

  God bless the love of a daughter.

  I smirk and ask her which shoes I should wear. After she chooses nude sandals, I take a step back and ask her what she thinks.

  “Perfect,” she grins.

  My accessories are limited, but I find small earrings and a bangle bracelet. Thank goodness I didn’t get rid of all this when I moved.

  “Can I put on lipstick, too?” Rae looks up at me.

  Normally, I’d say no. She’s too young and beautiful to cover up her face, but I’m having mother’s guilt for not including her tonight, so I nod and bend down. “Just a bit.” I add a thin layer of the blush color on her lips.

  “Now I’ll look just like you.” She skips out of the room.

  I take a few deep breaths as I look around the room Rae and I share. This is our sanctuary. It isn’t fancy or spacious, but it’s our safe place.

  A knock at the door distracts me.

  “He’s here!” Rae yells from the living space.

  My heart is racing, and nausea is consuming me as I walk out of the room. Rae is by the door, ready to open as soon as I give her the okay.

  “Hi,” she squeals.

  “Hey, Rae Rae. What’s up?” Jason’s voice reaches me before I see him. The thumping in my ears is frustrating me. This isn’t the first time we spend time together. He had dinner here the other night for goodness sake. But Rae was always there to buffer the conversation.

  “Hi,” he stops and looks at me.

  “Hi.”

  “Doesn’t she look pretty?” Rae tugs on Jason’s hand and pulls him in. I roll my eyes at her question. She’s not discreet at all.

  “She sure does,” Jason responds.

  “And she let me put on some lipstick, although I’m just staying at Abby’s house. I wanted to look like my mommy. Do you like it?”

  Jason squats down to look at Rae. “Yeah, but you’re too pretty to wear makeup.”

  “You’re right.” Rae swipes her lips with the back of her hand, causing me to laugh. Go figure. Then she giggles when Jason whispers something in her ear, turning to look at me. “He likes you.” She points at me.

  Shifting on my feet, I cross my arms and say, “Okay. Let’s get you to Abigail’s.” I hold Rae’s hand as Jason leads us out of our home with his hand in the small of my back. Thoughts of what if consume me as I imagine what it would be like had we met in a different situation. What could we be if we drop our guards and give this a shot? Is he more smitten with my daughter than actually having a relationship with me?

  “Hey, Abby,” I say as she opens the door.

  “Hi.”

  “This is Jason. Jason, this is Abigail.” I introduce them, and Rae runs into her house as if she owns the place.

  “Bye, Rae,” I call out.

  “Bye, Mommy.” She runs back and hugs my waist. “Bye, Jason.”

  As we turn to walk to his car, Jason holds my hand. I look down at our interlocked fingers and up at him. His grin is the only reaction I get, and when he opens the car door for me and I slide in, I miss the feel of his hand in mine.

  I sound like some desperate teen infatuated with the popular jock. He’s so handsome, it’s only natural I’d feel this way.

  “Am I dressed okay for where we’re going?” I can’t stand the silence anymore.

  “Perfect.” He turns to look at me before driving. “You look stunning.” He runs his fingers down my cheek before cupping my face. “Shall we go?”

  I nod and watch him as he drives to our destination. His plaid shirt is rolled up just below his elbows, and the blue in it brightens his eyes even more. His dirty blond hair looks as if he brushed it with his fingers on the way out of the shower, and the woman in me desires to comb my fingers through it and tug. Life was simpler when I was just a woman. Now I’m a mother. A mother on a date with a hot musician. I must be insane. This can’t be real life.

  “You’re thinking real hard there.”

  “Huh? Oh, sorry. I guess I got quiet.”

  “Relax. Tonight is about having fun and getting to know each other. We’ll take it slow.” He reaches for my hand again.

  “Okay.” I breathe out slowly.

  “How was work?” he asks.

  “Not much changes in a diner,” I tease.

  “Anyone else bother you?”

  I shake my head. “No. You don’t have to worry about that. If that happens, Ryan is usually out of the kitchen before anyone can get too far.”

  “Is Ryan just a friend or…”

  “Just a friend,” I say quickly. I chuckle at his not so subtle way of asking.

  “A guy needs to know what he’s up against,” he defends.

  “You’re not up against anything or anyone.” We make eye contact for a brief moment. Jason squeezes my hand and a smile covers his face.

  As Jason opens the door for me, he explains Pinewood Social and the hangout concept. Apparently, it offers everything anyone could want—coffee, dining, bowling, Bocce ball, a pool.

  “I thought we could eat dinner and then we could bowl.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  We walk in to see a wall of people. Jason shakes some hands and smiles at others, always holding my hand and keeping me by his side. The hostess walks us to our table, and I smile when it’s a booth to the back of the restaurant. I’m sure Jason requested that.

  “What do you think?”

  I look around the huge industrial space. “So many people are here.”

  “Yeah. It’s kind of a hip place. Their brunch is good, too.”

  “Cool.” I look around, observing the crowd and décor. It’s simple; some walls with exposed, whitewashed brick and different types of lighting. I see the bowling alleys from our booth and hear the people cheering as they play.

  I realize how much I’ve secluded myself from the world by working and being a mother. It’s hard to balance a social life when money is very tight and you have a daughter to care for. I didn’t even know this place existed, but then again, I don’t run in this circle.

  “Hey, I feel like I keep losing you,” Jason dips his head to make eye contact.

  “Sorry. If I can be honest—”

  “Yes. I want you to be one-hundred-percent honest with me.” Jason’s shoulders slump a bit.

  “I’m realizing how removed I am from this.” I wave my hand around the space. “I know nothing about any of this. I can’t even remember the last time I bowled.”

  “It’s a good thing I’m an excellent teacher then,” Jason’s smile is mischievous and his eyes twinkle.

  “I don’t remember the last time I was on a date. Way before Rae was born. Maybe high school or right after graduation?”

  “That doesn’t matter. Relax and enjoy the experience.”

  “Hi, I’m Mandy. I’ll be your server today. Can I get you something to drink while you browse the menu?” a chirpy brunette with a wavy bob says.

  “Do you know what you want to drink?” Jason asks.

  I quickly scan the drink portion of the menu. “I’ll have a sangria.”

  “Awesome choice. How about you?” She looks at Jason.

  “The Top Hop IPA.”

  “I’ll be right back with your drinks. If you have any questions about our menu, I’m here to help.”

  “Thanks,” Jason replies as our waitress walks away.

  “She didn’t say anything about who you are.”

  Jason shakes his head. “We come here often, and the staff is used to seeing us. Quite a few well-known musicians stop by as well, so the staff is trained to treat us like everyone else. Be
sides, I’m not that popular.”

  I raise an eyebrow and lean back in the booth. “Really?”

  Jason laughs. “Not like Cash.”

  “You’re all popular. If I recognized you, everyone else here would.”

  “Tonight’s about us, though.”

  The side of my mouth tilts into a smile. “Okay.”

  The waitress serves our drinks and takes our dinner order. Jason holds his beer up once she walks away. “Cheers.” I raise my glass to his, feeling silly. “To new beginnings.”

  “Cheers.” I tap my glass with his and take a sip of the fruity, wine cocktail.

  “How’s the sangria?”

  “Delicious. It’s been so long since I’ve had a cocktail. I may need to limit myself to one. I’m lame.”

  “You’re not. You’re a responsible parent, who loves her daughter.”

  “More like a single mom trying to make ends meet so her daughter has a place to sleep.” Why did I just say that? “Sorry.”

  Jason reaches for my hand across the table and smiles. “Don’t apologize. I admire you. Anyone else would’ve given her up or terminated the pregnancy. You’re a fighter, Cassidy Rae. You’re brave.”

  “Thanks,” my voice is hushed.

  “What was your favorite cocktail before you had Rae?”

  “I’d have to say Jack and Coke. I’m simple like that.”

  “Jack and Coke is always a good choice. What’s something you love to do?”

  “I love dancing. It was so invigorating to step out onto a dance floor and let loose. After high school, I got a job at a bar to help my parents with their bills. My mom had to quit working when she got sick, and it was too much for my dad to handle on his own. Bartending paid well enough, but I loved watching people dance and let go of their shields for a little while. Alcohol does that, make you less guarded.”

  “I’m a great dancer,” Jason winks.

  “Really?”

  “Yup. I can put Luke Bryan’s moves to shame.”

  I laugh until I snort and cover my face.

  “That was cute.”

  “Oh yeah, because sounding like a pig is adorable.”

  “Nah, you didn’t sound like a pig. It’s nice to see you laugh openly. I know I’ve only seen you a few times, and you’re different around Rae, but I like seeing you like this. I like sitting across from you, holding your hand, and learning about the woman behind the mom.”

  “I’m so used to being that mom. Are you even sure you want to get involved with a mom? It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not the same as dating someone who has no attachments.”

  “I like you, Caz. Relationships don’t come with a checklist. Sure, I can have an idea of the woman I want in my life, but I’m not going to throw away a chance with that woman because she has a daughter. That’s not a deal breaker for me.”

  We’re talking as if we were more serious than we actually are. He mentions an us as if we’ve been steady. How is he so sure?

  “You don’t even know me.”

  “You gotta stop with that excuse. No one knows anyone until they take the time to get to know them. I watch you. I’m an observer by nature. When I sit at Joyce’s Diner, I take you in. The way you interact with your customers, how you cross your arms when you’re uncomfortable, and the way you giggle when one of your regulars teases you. I see it. I see the way you look at Rae as if she’s the only light in your world. I’m sure she is, but I want a piece of that light.”

  I stare at Jason, my heart racing. I used to believe in love like this, but I stopped believing a long time ago. Is it possible to have someone in my life who would care about me and Rae?

  “I know I need to stop with that excuse. I keep telling myself to get over that, but it’s hard to. The last time I dated someone for more than a few weeks was when I was in high school. I asked to take things slow because I have no idea how to do this. I haven’t been out with anyone since I got pregnant. I get that this sounds repetitive, but it has nothing to do with you.”

  “Caz,” Jason laces our fingers. “I get it. I was seeing someone and I didn’t click with her the way I’m clicking with you from the start. Yeah, we got along really well, but the beginning was a chase. I hate games, and I thought she was different, but all she wanted was to use me to get to the big names in the music industry. I got played, and it sucks. I want to put that out in the open because I’m about honesty. If you’re honest with me, tell me what you’re really feeling, we can make this work.”

  “Am I a rebound?” I blurt out.

  “Hell, no. I wouldn’t work this hard for a rebound. Ever since I saw you that first day, I liked you. It was a combination of things. When I found out you had a daughter I tried to stay away because I assumed you were married or with the father. But trust me, never did a rebound cross my mind.”

  I nod. “I want to have fun tonight. Get to know you, too. Can we start over?”

  Jason shakes his head. “I like that we talked this out. How about we order another round and kick off the conversation in a different direction.”

  “I like that plan.”

  Jason and I eat and talk. Although I told him I would only have one sangria, I’m enjoying the second one mighty well.

  “So you were homecoming queen?” Jason asks.

  “Yeah.” I think back to that night. I was one of the popular girls in high school, and I was nice. Everyone liked me. Back then I didn’t think I’d end up where I am now, but I am a fighter, like Jason said.

  “Who was the king?”

  “Typical—captain of the football team. We were friends, so I was happy with that choice.”

  “I never won anything cool like that in high school,” Jason pouts.

  “Who you are in high school doesn’t define who you’ll be. I never thought I’d have a child so young. It wasn’t in my plans. I remember telling my friends it’d be a long time, if ever, that I’d have a kid. And bam, three years later I get pregnant.”

  Jason nods as he listens to me speak. “Anyway, did you play any sports?”

  “Not in high school. I played baseball when I was younger.”

  “The All-American sport. I used to watch when I was a kid.”

  “You know, Cole’s girlfriend, Bri, works for the Sounds. Maybe we can go to a game one day and take Rae.”

  I bite my lip and smile, nodding. Could this actually be real?

  After dinner, we head to the bowling lanes. It’s an odd feeling being taken care of and have someone pay for my meal. Jason does it so nonchalantly.

  He’s barely released by hand, and I can’t hide the joy that gives me. After we laid everything out on the table, our conversation flowed. Jason told me about his sisters and his parents. They’ve both remarried, and he gets on well with their spouses.

  “I know you said you haven’t bowled in a while, so I’m ready to teach you anything you need.” Jason’s eyes twinkle with a naughty gleam as he pulls me to him by my hand, resting his other one on my waist.

  “I only have one condition for our game tonight.”

  “What?” I breathe out.

  “You have fun.” This is the closest we’ve been. I can see a ring of gray around his pupils.

  “I can live with that.” Jason chuckles at my reaction and kisses my forehead.

  I pull in a gulp of air. All those romantic movies I used to watch and love showed forehead kisses, and I always thought the woman’s reaction was exaggerated. It’s so not.

  “Come on.”

  We put on the bowling shoes and settle into our lane. I decline the offer of another sangria, knowing two is my limit for tonight. I don’t want a headache at work tomorrow and I want to be in control. I still have Rae to think about, even if I’m here having fun with Jason.

  “Anything else to drink?”

  “Water would be great.” I check my phone to make sure Abigail hasn’t called while Jason grabs our drinks. Thank goodness for inexpensive phone plans. The data isn’t the best, but I do
n’t use it for anything other than calls.

  “Everything okay?” Jason asks as he returns.

  I put my phone back in my purse and smile. “Yeah. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a call from Abigail.”

  “Good. Now get ready to learn from the pro.”

  I giggle. “I never said I don’t know how to bowl. I said it’s been years.”

  “Let me have this moment,” he jokes.

  When he walks up to me, my breath catches. The closeness accelerates my heart. There’s an intimacy involved.

  “Besides, I keep thinking about holding you close as I help you throw the ball.” My eyes flutter closed for a brief second. “You feel it, too.”

  I nod and wonder how his short beard would feel as he kisses me. I dare touch his face, my fingers barely touching his skin to see if it’s pinchy or soft. Jason stares at me as I explore. His beard is soft, framing his face flawlessly.

  “Jason,” someone calls out. We both jump back as if we’ve been caught in a secret rendezvous. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I turn to look at the man speaking, sheepish shrug taking over his body.

  “Hey, Tyler. No interruptions. What’s good? This is Cassidy Rae. Caz, this is Tyler Hunt.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Caz. I’m here celebrating my latest album. Just wanted to say hi. I’ll leave you two alone.”

  “Congrats, brother. Tell Mikayla I say hi.”

  “Will do,” Tyler waves over his shoulder.

  “Thanks to him, we got our big break in this industry,” Jason tells me. “He took us on tour as his opening act a few years ago, and his label signed us on after that.”

  “I love his music,” I say, a little starstruck.

  “Let’s play.” Jason smirks and grabs my hand, guiding me to the lane.

  As we take turns bowling, Jason tells me about his career. I ask him a lot more questions than I mean to, but the more he speaks, the more curious I become about the music industry and how it all works.

  “It sounds fascinating,” I say as I stand next to him while he gears up to bowl.

  “It is.” He looks at me and winks. “Strike,” he exclaims.