All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3)

by Fabiola Francisco

  “You can visit soon. Rae can see her grandparents.”

  “I was thinking I could go soon when I work a late shift. I don’t like taking the bus back when it’s late. I could ask Abigail also, but I’d hate putting her in that position.”

  “I’ll take you.”

  “No, Jason. You don’t have to.”

  “Caz, I’d be more than happy to take you and pick you up when you’re ready to go see them again.” Jason moves closer to me and brushes my hair behind my shoulder.

  “Some days it’s hard to go and see how the disease has affected my mom.” My vulnerability shows with my statement.

  “I’m sure it is, but I know you’d want to be there with them. When was the last time you saw them?”

  “A few weeks ago.” I lean back and look at him.

  “You let me know, and I’ll be available to take you. No way you’re taking the bus if I can help it.”

  I place my head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whisper. Jason’s hand wanders to mine and holds on tight.

  The sunlight peeks in through the window, casting shadows around the living room and illuminating other parts. It’s beautiful if you stop to look at it. I never stop to take it in.

  “Mommy?” My head snaps up as I hear Rae’s voice.

  “Yeah, baby girl?” She walks toward us, rubbing her eyes. A shy smile follows as she looks at Jason and climbs on my lap.

  “You’re still here.”

  “I am. Your mommy and I were talking.”

  “Thank you for taking me to the zoo today.” She reaches over and hugs Jason. “I had the best day.” She looks tiny wrapped in a hug with Jason and tears threaten to betray my cool.

  “What time is it?” she asks as she settles on my lap.

  I check the clock hanging over the television. “It’s just after six. Are you hungry?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you want tacos since you had mac and cheese for lunch?” Rae nods. “You’re more than welcome to stay for supper,” I tell Jason.

  “How about I take y’all out? I know this place I think Rae would love.”

  “Are you sure?” My eyebrows knit together.

  “Positive.” A gentle hand squeezes my fingers.

  “Do you want to go?” I ask Rae, who seems like she’s still waking up from her nap.

  “What is it?” she asks as if that would change her mind. I know my daughter, and she’d go anywhere.

  “It’s a treehouse restaurant.” Jason winks.

  “That’s so cool. I want to go.” She turns to look at me, a soft grin and messy hair staring back at me.

  “Go take a bath. Are you okay waiting a few minutes?” I ask Jason.

  “Of course I am.” Rae runs to the bathroom.

  “She’s a good kid, Caz.”

  “Thanks. She’s what I’m proudest of.”

  “As you should be.” He kisses my temple and I sigh. I’ve never had a man care about me like this. Then again, I’ve never dated a man. All my prior relationships were pre-Rae, and you can’t call an early 20s guy a man.

  Once Rae is ready, we go to dinner at Tree Tops, a treehouse inspired restaurant.

  “Wow,” Rae whispers as her wide eyes stare at the structure.

  After we climb the ladder, Cassidy Rae looks at me. “This place is amazing.” Her head spins around the space. “It even has kids’ drawings.”

  “Yeah, I knew y’all would love it.”

  “It’s so, so cool, Jason. I want a treehouse,” Rae is beside herself with excitement, floating on cloud nine as she takes it all in.

  Seeing her excitement makes me so happy. These two ladies have suddenly become my sole focus. I want to treat them right and give them so many experiences, especially Rae. She’s still young. There are so many things in life for her to enjoy. I’ve always wanted kids, but I never thought I’d meet someone who already has a child. I thought I’d be crazy jealous because the child wasn’t mine. I’m not though. Instead, I want to offer her everything I can.

  I’ve got all these feelings way too fast, and my brain is struggling to catch up. All I know is that I need both of these people in my life, permanently.

  After a long wait, we’re finally seated.

  “Will you play word search with me?” Rae asks, holding a crayon up.

  “You got it.” I look for food related words on the kid’s menu as I sneak peeks at Cassidy Rae. She watches us with bright eyes. I wink at her before continuing to search for the word hamburger.

  “We got them all,” Rae shouts.

  “Rae,” Cassidy Rae warns, and we both laugh.

  “It’s a big deal to find all the words in a word search game,” I tell her. “Besides, it’s loud enough here that people didn’t notice.”

  “Yeah, what Jason said.” Rae hooks her thumb in my direction.

  Now Cassidy Rae and I laugh. The mood is light, different than at the zoo, and I’m glad Cassidy Rae and I spoke this afternoon. I understand her concern and appreciate her bringing it up. As wrong as I was about Christie, I know I’m right about Cassidy Rae. She’s worried about seeming like she’s mooching off of me, and I don’t see it that way.

  We place our drink orders when the waitress comes by, thankfully interrupting my thoughts. Once she returns with them, the three of us toast—Rae with her apple juice, Cassidy Rae with the sangria I insisted she order, and me with a beer.

  “To awesome Sundays and the best two ladies I know,” I smile as I clink my glass with theirs.

  “And to the best boy we know,” Rae adds. I chuckle and take a sip of my beer.

  It’s an odd feeling, being this proud when I’m not her father and I haven’t know them for too long. I think the Man Upstairs is telling me to eat my words. Nothing is black and white when it comes to the heart.

  “What do you do with your band?” Rae asks.

  “We make music. We write songs and add sound to it. Then, we record it. We also do a lot of other stuff, like interviews, small shows in Nashville, and other stuff that aren’t as fun.”

  “I think anything that has to do with being in a band is fun.”

  “When it comes to the music, yes.” No six-year-old will understand the business aspect of the industry.

  “Do you have a song you can sing me?” I look into big brown eyes.

  “How about in the car? Like that you can hear me,” I suggest.

  “Okay.” She nods her head quickly. Maybe one day I’ll teach her to play the guitar. I’m sure she’d love that.

  “At what time do you work tomorrow?” I ask Cassidy Rae.

  “Early afternoon, so I’ll be able to rest in the morning.”

  “Good. May need to stop by for a late OJ drink.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I know.” I don’t have to, but I’d use any excuse to see that woman, even if it’s glimpses of her as she tends tables and wipes the counter.

  “Can I go to work with you?” Rae asks.

  “You’re staying with Abby. I think she’s going to take you to the park.”

  “But I want to be there if Jason stops by.” Rae leans back and crosses her arms, her eyebrows pulled in.

  “He may not be able to. He works, too. We’ll figure something out.” Cassidy Rae peeks up at me.

  “Yeah, kiddo. It depends what my boss needs me to do tomorrow, but I’ll see you again soon.”

  “You will?” Rae looks at me with stubborn tears in her eyes. Damn. I run a hand through my messy hair.

  “Of course. Who else am I going to play word search with?” I hold up the crayon. “Are you any good at tic-tac-toe?”

  “Yes!” Just like that, tomorrow is forgotten and we’re back to enjoying our dinner.

  “You’re a natural,” Cassidy Rae mouths, and I wink at her.

  Three games in, our food arrives and I’m losing to Rae. I didn’t even let her win. She’s that good at tic-tac-toe.

  Rae digs into her chicken nuggets almost immediately after Cass
idy Rae pours ketchup on the side of her plate. Cassidy Rae stares at her plate of tacos while I cut my steak and take a bite.

  “This looks great.” She takes a bite and moans. I wish I were what she was tasting. Then I look at Rae and rein in my thoughts.

  “Good?” I raise my eyebrows.

  “Delicious.” She blushes and wipes her mouth with her napkin.

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” I crave to taste her lips again, and so much more. She’s my ideal woman—humble, caring, and brutally honest.

  Having spent almost all weekend with Cassidy Rae has shown me exactly how much she’s sheltered herself and made Rae a priority. Not to say I wouldn’t do the same in her situation, but she has to learn to live again and I want to teach her how.

  We’re waiting for Peyton to meet us in the studio, and I missed my chance to stop by the diner. I called Cassidy Rae to let her know I wouldn’t make it, but she must’ve been working already since I got her generic voicemail. I’ll call her when I leave work and make some real plans. Date number three, just her and I, and hopefully more of her lips.

  “Hey, sorry I’m late.” Peyton takes a seat at the table and shuffles some papers. “We got a call from a music director working on a new film. The story is about a prisoner of war, who finds himself free and trying to find his way back to the States after his family and friends declared him dead. It touches up on the struggles of being deployed, the risks, and the weight families and friends carry.” Peyton looks up from the paper he’s holding, most likely notes from the director.

  “Anyway, they want you to be a part of the soundtrack. They’re interested in original music, which will be used for promos as well.”

  “Okay,” Cash says, looking at us and stopping to look at Cole. “You good with this?”

  “More than good. I think this is a great opportunity.” With Bri’s past, I understand why Cash is making sure Cole is on board. Not that we doubt he wouldn’t be. He would probably be proud to do something like this. Who knew underneath the provocative man-whore was someone capable of settling down.

  “Great. We’ll get more details from the director. Your buddy, Ronan Connolly, is actually one of the stars,” Peyton tells Cash. Cash and Ronan bonded over their love of country music some time ago and have kept in touch ever since then.

  “Cool.” Cash smiles.

  We go over more business before we work on our current music. The day is slow moving since the one thing I want to do is not possible while I’m working. As much as I love music and playing, thoughts of Cassidy Rae have taken over. Everything I thought I’d never be, she destroyed with the force of a wrecking ball. It’s true I’ve always been more of a relationship guy, but I’ve been careful with that. Calculating, to a certain degree. Now I’m acting like damn Cash when he met Olivia. The last thing I need to do is call Cassidy Rae up on stage in front of a crowd of thousands.

  “Bro.” I shake my head when I feel something hit me. I was lost in thought, daydreaming about the blonde beauty that’s slowly opening up to me.

  “What the fuck?” I look at the three, all with suspecting smiles.

  “Wake up. We wanted to know what you thought about this,” Cash laughs. He and Ryder both play their guitars as Cash sings part of the chorus, a change in beat that I clearly missed.

  I listen intently and mark the change. I like it. It gives the song more of a homegrown vibe.

  “That works.”

  “What do you think, Scott?” Cash calls to one of our producers.

  “Sounds good here. Let me hear it from the top.” We play the song, tweaking to the new sound that was just implemented and wait for Scott to respond.

  “Sounds good, boys.”

  As much as I’d like to say that working on a song is something we do in a few hours, realistically it can take up to a few days or a week. Usually the lyrics come in fast if Cash is writing and Olivia’s inspired him, but adding music is a different story.

  After work, I call Cassidy Rae. Hearing her voice would satisfy me at the moment until I can see her again. I check the time when she doesn’t answer and realize she must be putting Rae to bed. I shoot her a quick text asking her to call me when she’s free, and I impatiently wait for her call.

  Cole is already home when I walk in through the door.

  “Hey, I was waiting for you to get home to order takeout.”

  “What were you thinking?” I plant my ass next to him on the couch and lift one foot on the ottoman.

  “I was just looking through the Eatery app to see which places had the shortest delivery wait.”

  “Thank God for technology and its ample restaurant choices.”

  “Yeah. No way I’m going out now,” Cole leans back on the couch and scans his phone. “You wanna just get pizza?” He asks after spending a few minutes scrolling through the options. I’ve been staring at my phone willing Cassidy Rae to call me.

  “Sure.”

  “It’s the one with the shortest wait time.”

  “Works for me. I’m always game for pizza.”

  Cole orders and brings us both beers. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” he looks around the living room.

  “Okay?”

  “Bri and I were talking, and, um…” I raise my eyebrows waiting for Cole to finish. “We’re gonna move in together.”

  “That’s great. Congrats, brother.” I pat him on the shoulder.

  “Thanks. I wanted to make sure you’re okay, though. I mean, I know you recently met Cassidy Rae and all, but you good?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. You’re over at Bri’s place half the time chasing her,” I joke. “Seriously, I’m happy for you both.”

  “I’ll still pay for my half of the bills this month.”

  “Relax. It’s okay.” Cole and I had an agreement from the beginning. If one of us was moving out for whatever reason, particularly one like Cole’s, the other could stay in the house and become sole owner, or we’d sell it and split the profit. I want to stay, and I’ve been expecting for this day to come for a long time.

  “You’re staying in her apartment?”

  “Until her lease is up. Then, we’ll figure out where we want to live.”

  “Make sense. I’m sure you’ll want a bigger place by then.”

  “How are things with Cassidy Rae?” He switches the subject.

  I rub my face and chug what’s left of my beer. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Friday night was great. It was her and I alone, so I got to spend time with her. Her daughter is amazing, but I want a relationship with Cassidy Rae, and alone time is needed for that.

  “I’ve never been in a situation like this, but I like her. A whole damn lot. I like her daughter. We went to the zoo yesterday and then I took them to Tree Tops. You should’ve seen that girl’s face when she saw the treehouse. Cassidy Rae’s wasn’t too far off.”

  “Sounds to me like you’ve got your hands full.”

  “It’s weird, but I’d be ready to make things official today if she’d let me.”

  “Welcome to the club,” Cole chuckles and slaps my shoulder once.

  My eyebrows furrow. “Club?”

  “The pussy-whipped club. I felt the same way about Bri, and Cash had to burst my hopes by telling me she was taken then.” Cole looks down a moment. Knowing him as well as I do, he’s probably sending a quick prayer for Josh. “Anyway, when you feel it, it’s impossible to get rid of it.”

  “I’ve turned into Cash, haven’t I?”

  Cole laughs and points at me. “We all have, he was always in tune with it. I will say, I’m surprised about you. You’re so straight-laced when it comes to situations like this. I don’t know why. Let loose, brother, and if you want her to become your woman, make her yours.”

  The doorbell rings along with the meaning of Cole’s words. He stands, grabbing his wallet from the console table, and gets our dinner.

  Fuck. He’s right. If I want Cassidy Rae to be mine, I have to make sure I prove to her how
good we are together.

  After dinner, I stop feeling sorry for myself and call Cassidy Rae again.

  “Hey, sorry I haven’t called you back,” she answers, breathless.

  “Is everything okay?” I hear a door close.

  “Yes. No. I mean, yeah.”

  “What’s going on?” I sit straighter on my bed, ready to go to her if I need to. “I can be there in a few.”

  “No, no, you stay where you are. It’s not like that. Rae woke up sick, so it’s been a little busy around here between work and taking care of her. She’s been attached to me since I got home this evening.”

  I sigh and lean back. “What does she have?”

  “I think it’s just a cold. No big deal, but she has some body aches, and that always makes her more needy.”

  “Her momma makes her feel better,” I state.

  “Yup.” Cassidy Rae yawns. “Sorry.”

  “No need to be. I wanted to hear your voice, but you’re tired. Get some rest in case Rae needs you at some point in the night.”

  “No, I’m okay. It’s still early.” I hear a pause and then, “Oh, maybe not that early.” She stifles another yawn.

  “Get rest, babe. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “Okay.”

  “Night, Caz.”

  “Goodnight, Jason. Thanks for calling.” I smirk at her sleep-induced voice and wish I were holding her tight through the night. Cole is right; I’ve joined the pussy-whipped club.

  This week has been chaotic with Rae having a random cold in the middle of summer, work’s picked up, and Jason has been calling. I appreciate his concerns and attention. I’m not ungrateful, but having conversations with him on the phone proves to me how much I like him. He even talked to Rae last night, since she was feeling better. She giggled the entire time and asked when she’d see him again.

  She’s not the only one who wants to see him again.

  “Mommy,” I look over at Rae, who is coloring at the small kitchen table.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Are you and Jason boyfriend and girlfriend?” Her focus is on her paper, as if this conversation is as casual as asking for a glass of water.