All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3)

by Fabiola Francisco

  “Oh, yeah. It looked like that was exactly what you were doing.”

  She crosses her arms. “What do you think I was doing?”

  “That was no fucking interview. You don’t laugh that way with a potential boss. Are you playing me?” I accuse even though I ask her.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? That,” she points behind her, “was a friend of mine. He and I went to middle and high school together. Yes, I did come to apply for a job, and I ran into Ben. We were best friends growing up. He asked if I wanted to have a quick cup of coffee and I almost said no. Not because I thought it would betray you. I know if I’m crossing lines and that was nowhere near it. I needed a break. I needed five fucking minutes to myself out of that house, so I took him up on his offer to catch up.”

  “It’s my job. It’s my responsibility to give you time like that. I’m the one who is supposed to make you smile. Me.” I point at my chest, my voice eerily low. I’m looking at everything from the outside.

  “He’s an old friend from high school, nothing more. I was telling him about you. How I…” She looks down at her sneakers.

  “How you what? Landed the rich musician?”

  “What? No.” Her eyes snap up to me. “You know this has nothing to do with your money.”

  “The fuck am I supposed to think, Cassidy Rae? Where’s Rae?”

  “She’s with my parents.”

  “Your dad has enough taking care of your mom.” It’s a low blow, but I’m angry.

  “Hey, don’t make it sound like I dumped her on him. I asked her to come and she wanted to stay.” I scoff. “Forget it. I’m going home.”

  She walks away from me, digging through her purse.

  “Where are you going?” I reach her.

  “Home. You show up here, accusing me of cheating on you, when all I had was coffee with a friend.” Tears fill her eyes. Is she telling the truth? I’m a fucking idiot if I jumped to conclusions without talking to her like an adult.

  “I’ll drive you.”

  “You don’t have to, Jason. Go back home.”

  “The fuck I will.”

  “Why are you even here?” Her tone knocks me back.

  “I missed you. I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow.” I look over her head, avoiding her; vulnerability is difficult for me.

  Cassidy Rae sighs. “You look tired.”

  “So do you,” I respond. Her eyes are sunken and sad. She sniffles, and I know she’s trying not to cry in front of me. She’s trying to be strong.

  I take a step toward her and reach for her hand. “Is he just a friend?”

  “Yes. I saw him at the grocery store the other day and when I ran into him today, I thought I’d sit for a few and drink a cup of coffee with him. Ben and Sara were my two best friends. Sara moved away for college and never came back. I lost touch with Ben a little after I started working at the bar,” she explains.

  “Jason, you can’t assume like this. You know how they always say not to believe everything printed in the tabloids?” I nod. “You shouldn’t believe what you make up in your head. I thought you knew me better than that. You can relate. If I saw a photo of you with a woman in a magazine, I’d ask you about it before yelling that you’re cheating on me.”

  “That’s because you’re the sane one out of the two of us.” She’s right.

  “I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but I am not going to repeat those betrayals.”

  “Rationally, I know that’s true. I reacted before any other possible reason crossed my mind.” I pull her into my arms and inhale her scent.

  “You have to trust me.” She rests her chin on my chest and looks up at me.

  “I do.”

  Cassidy Rae arches a brow and I laugh. “I promise, I do. It caught me by surprise to see you sitting at a coffee shop as if you had no worries in the world. I should know if you need a break. I should be able to sense that and come to you or call you.”

  “You did, though. You’re here. You took that initiative. You are that person for me. How could you even think anyone else comes close?” Her honesty surprises me. She gets on her toes and kisses my lips. Hugging me again, she mumbles, “I missed you, too,” into my chest, and we both relax. “But we also have our own lives and people in them we can’t ignore because of jealousy.”

  “I know that. I’m sorry.”

  “Do you want to come to the house?” Her brows furrow, unsure after the argument we had.

  “I was headed that way. I stopped here to get some coffee because I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t want to get there and be yawning nonstop.”

  “Do you want to grab a cup before leaving?” Cassidy Rae loosens her hold around my waist.

  “Nah. I’m pretty awake now.”

  She frowns, and I kiss the tip of her nose. “Having you this close definitely wakes me up,” I whisper into her ear. She shivers as I press my hand on her lower back and bring her close to me again. I look down at her with a raised brow and one side of my lip tilted up.

  Cassidy Rae sighs. “Let me stay like this a minute before we leave.”

  I lean my chin on the top of her head, taking in her scent and holding her with both arms. She draws designs on my back with her fingers as if she were comforting me, instead of the opposite. She’s my perfect southern princess. I’m an ass for second-guessing her, but it hurt to see her sitting at that table with someone else when she needed me.

  We need a new plan. I can come over every so often and help her. I can help her dad, do anything they need. I can no longer support her by staying quiet and away. Of course, that’s if it’s okay with her parents and her.

  “Follow me?” She angles her head up.

  “You drove?” I ask, leaning back.

  Cassidy Rae giggles. “Don’t sound so surprised. I can drive; I just don’t own a car. I used my dad’s.”

  “Oh, okay. Yeah, I’ll follow you.” I kiss her full lips and walk her to her car. She smiles when I open the door for her.

  “I’m so happy you’re here,” she confesses with a blush.

  “I got you, baby.”

  The drive to her house is shorter than I thought. I wasn’t as far away as I originally imagined when I stopped for coffee. I pull in behind her and take a deep breath. My heart is racing at the unfamiliar situation. The control I usually have a grasp on is nonexistent today.

  I startle when she knocks on my window. When I turn to look at her, she’s bent over laughing. I climb out of my car with a smile.

  “I’ll get you back for that,” I tease.

  “Jason!” A tiny head of blonde hair tumbles toward me. I hug Rae and lift her up over my head before placing her back on the ground. Her fit of giggles causes me to smile. “How come you’re here?” She looks up at me.

  “I came to surprise y’all.”

  “I found him in the coffee shop,” Cassidy Rae winks at her daughter.

  “Did you get the job?” Rae asks.

  “I don’t know yet, baby girl. They will call me for an interview.”

  “They’ll give it to you. You’re good at making coffee” she compliments her mother as she looks on at her with admiration. The relationship these two have is surreal. My sisters get along with my mom, but this is a different level. Their situation created a deeper bond. I’m lucky they’re allowing me to enter it.

  “Let’s go inside.” Cassidy Rae leads the way. “Dad, you remember Jason, right?” Her dad is sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. He lowers it and smiles.

  “I sure do. Hello, young man.” I shake her dad’s hand and greet him.

  “How’d it go?” her dad folds the newspaper in half and places it on the table.

  “Time will tell. Where’s Mom?” Cassidy Rae looks around the kitchen.

  “She’s resting a bit in the bedroom.”

  “Oh, okay. Is she okay?”

  “Yeah. Nothing to worry about, she needed to lie down and get some shut-eye. Why don’t you go somewhere with Jason while
your mom rests?” Mr. Pressman suggests.

  “That’s okay, sir. I came over to offer help and support any way I can.”

  “We’re okay,” her dad nods once. I see where Cassidy Rae get’s her self-sufficiency and stubbornness from. “While my wife sleeps, I relax a bit.”

  “We can hang out here, Dad,” Cassidy Rae suggests.

  “No, no. Take the girl to the park. You remember which one, right? Your mom will be in there for an hour or so.”

  “Are you sure?” Cassidy Rae looks at her dad with squinted eyes.

  “I promise. I’ll call you if I need you to come back sooner. I’m sure Rae would like to go to the park.” He leans over and winks at Rae. Rae nods her head, not saying a thing until the adults decide.

  “Are you okay with that?” Cassidy Rae turns to me.

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  Cassidy Rae bends in front of Rae and asks, “Do you want to go to the park?”

  “Sure,” she smiles.

  “Dad, anything you need, even if we just left, you call me. Okay?”

  “I will. Now go off and have some fun.”

  Cassidy Rae hesitates a moment before grabbing her purse. Rae hugs her grandfather and kisses his cheek. Then, she comes to hold my hand. I observe in awe of the amount of love they have for each other and the calm despite the heavy reason they’re all here.

  I pull into a parking spot, Rae practically jumping from the car.

  “There’s a merry-go-round,” Rae exclaims from the backseat.

  “Yup. That was my favorite as a kid,” Cassidy Rae tells her.

  As soon as we’re out of the car, Rae runs to the merry-go-round. I hold Cassidy Rae’s hand and smile. “She’s happy.”

  “She always is. That girl has been our savior during this time. I see the same relationship she has with my dad that I had with him at her age.”

  “That’s great, babe.”

  “Yeah,” Cassidy Rae sighs.

  Rae tries to spin herself around before she calls for us to help her.

  “Hold on tight,” I warn.

  Rae squeezes her hands around the bar and I chuckle. Grabbing one of the outer handles, I begin to push the merry-go-round. Rae’s giggles echo around the park.

  “That’s not fast,” she challenges.

  I turn to Cassidy Rae with raised brows. When she nods with the go-ahead, I begin to spin faster.

  “Yessss!” Rae’s yells are amplified.

  Warm arms wrap around me from behind. I smirk as I spin again once the merry-go-round begins to slow. Cassidy Rae remains behind me, a soft kiss lands in the center of my back. I place my hands over hers while I take a break from spinning Rae. This woman owns me. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to judge it. As I stand here with her and her daughter, I realize that I want this to be my life. I want her to be my family.

  “Don’t spin it anymore,” Rae calls before I have a chance to grab the rail.

  “Okay.” I respond and watch her begin to slow. I grab Cassidy Rae from behind me and hold her to my side. She wraps both arms around me, hugging me, as we look at Rae.

  “Can I play in the different things?” Rae asks once she hops down. She tries to walk, but staggers from all the spinning. Cassidy Rae giggles and I grab Rae’s shoulders to stable her.

  “Dizzy?” I tease her.

  “Yeah.” She widens her eyes and leans her head back. I chuckle, and Rae joins me.

  “Ready to walk?” I ask her. Rae nods and I release her shoulders. She runs over to the jungle gym and begins to climb the dome, hanging upside down when she reaches the top.

  “She has so much energy,” Cassidy Rae comments. “Thanks for being here. I know it was a rough start, but I’m so happy you came.”

  I look at my girl straight on and smile. “Sorry for being an ass. I should’ve talked to you first.”

  “You’re forgiven,” she mocks.

  I pull her into me, tapping her behind without a second thought. “Behave.” Cassidy Rae’s soft moan surprises me. “Fuck, babe.” She blushes and hides her face in my chest. “Hey.” I grab her chin and tilt her head up. “Don’t hide from me.” I give her a chaste kiss.

  Cassidy Rae nods and pinches her lips together in a smile.

  “Trust me, you affect me in the same way,” I tell her. Our situation is unconventional. She’s a single mom, so it’s hard for her to get a lot of time alone, and with being at her parents’ house, taking care of them is her priority. “We’ll get there,” I assure her.

  “No man is this patient.”

  “You’re wrong. A man who wants a woman in his life for the long haul is patient and understanding. You’re not just sex, Caz. Yeah, I want that with you,” I lean into her for emphasis. “But, I’m here for everything.”

  “I don’t know how long this situation will last. It could be months or…” Her voice trails off.

  “Don’t think about that. Part of the reason I wanted to come was to talk. I have nowhere to be, so I can wait until you’re done with what you have to do to talk.”

  “Good talk or bad?”

  “All good, babe.”

  Cassidy Rae nods, and we take a seat at a bench as Rae plays. I haven’t been in love in a long time, and I don’t think young love is the same as when we’re older. Looking at Rae play and holding Cassidy Rae next to me, I question if this is love. I never want them out of my life. With Cassidy Rae, the order I’ve always had in my life seems boring. My straight-laced self doesn’t understand, yet it urges me to take a leap of faith. I’ve taken one risk in my life before and joining Rebel Desire was worth it. The value of having Cassidy Rae in my life is infinitely more.

  We leave the park an hour later, and I suggest picking up lunch so they don’t have to cook. We stop at a deli not far from their house and grab subs, chips, drinks, and a soup for her mom.

  Back at the house, we set the table and Cassidy Rae helps her dad move her mom onto the wheelchair.

  “You didn’t have to buy lunch,” her dad says.

  “We wanted to,” Cassidy Rae responds.

  As we eat, her dad asks me about the band and my job. The conversation is easy with him, jumping from that to sports to housework. His laid-back personality must be one of the things keeping him strong.

  Rae tells her grandparents all about the park and how fast she spun. “Then, I got super dizzy and couldn’t walk,” she giggles before taking a bite of her sub.

  “Sounds like fun,” her grandfather responds. “Did you thank Jason and your mom for taking you?”

  “Thanks, Mommy. Thanks, Jason.” Rae’s face lights up.

  “You’re welcome, baby,” Cassidy Rae tells her as she helps her mom eat her soup.

  “You’re welcome, Rae Rae,” I tell her.

  “That’s my nickname,” Rae explains.

  “A very pretty one,” her grandfather compliments.

  After lunch, Rae sits with her grandmother and reads her a book. She’s taken the role as seriously as the adults. Cassidy Rae tells her dad to rest, and I sit with her in the kitchen.

  We’re silent for a bit, the distant sound of Rae reading a book traveling from the living room. I hold Cassidy Rae’s hands from across the round table.

  “I know you’re stressed,” I begin. “I’ve given you space to fulfill your responsibilities, but I also assured you you weren’t alone. I feel like I have left you alone by not being more present. I want to be here helping you when I can. I want to see you and hug you when you’re upset or scared. I don’t know if you’re okay with that, or if your dad is. I can come help you on the weekends or some evenings.”

  “You have so much going on and your own life and family, it wouldn’t be fair.”

  “Right now, you’re my number one. Supporting you is my priority. This isn’t easy for you.” I squeeze her hand and lace our fingers together, kissing her wrist.

  “I appreciate it, although that wouldn’t exactly give us time alone. We started a relationship with a huge roadblo
ck in the way. How do we balance my personal life with our relationship when this is taking up most of my time?” She waves around the house.

  “You said we could go to dinner tomorrow. We make time. We make it a point to carve time for us.”

  “You make it sound easy.” Her eyes water.

  “Baby, it is. We complicate things in our mind. Once your mom goes to bed and Rae is settled in for the night, we can grab dinner. We can find ways to spend time together without overdoing it. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Extravagant isn’t your style anyway. I’ll give you the best, regardless.”

  “Have I told you how happy you make me?” She bites her bottom lip.

  “You make me happy, too. Rae makes me happy. Having you in my life is not what I envisioned, but it’s so much better.”

  “I really want to kiss you,” she whispers. I lean over the table, giving her what she wants.

  “Okay,” Cassidy Rae says when I sit back down. “We’ll make this new plan work.”

  Jason stays with us all day. He helps me around the house and joins Rae as she reads more books to my mom. Seeing him here, unhurried, spending time with my family, it makes me fall deeper for him. He’s insistent that we can make this work, yet I’m not sure. What I didn’t express yesterday is that when the time comes for my mom to pass, which is inevitable, I still have my dad to care for. I can’t leave him alone in this house.

  “Mommy, come ‘ere!” I finish drying a plate and put it away.

  When I walk into the living room, Jason is sitting on a chair with his guitar propped on his lap. Rae and my dad are sitting on the couch next to my mom.

  “Jason’s going to sing for us.”

  I smile and stand behind them as I watch Jason wink at me and begin to strum the guitar. Knowing he brought it proves his intentions were clear about cheering us up and doing what he can to support us.

  His soft voice begins to sing the words of one of my favorite songs. It’s the same one that was playing in the diner the day we met. He has a beautiful voice and I wonder why he chose to play the bass over singing.

  When he starts the second song, Rae stands and walks to me. She hugs the side of my body and sways to the rhythm. I pick her up and move with her, earning myself a mega smile. Jason looks on at us as he sings. When I peek down at my parents, my emotions become raw as I watch them hold hands.