by Ambere Sabo
“And where were you during all of that shit, huh? Chasing a fucking ghost is where you were. That chick has the respect of every one of the brothers, including Prez, and your mama. You’d do well to remember that shit, Havoc,” Venom chastises me, frowning.
“Fuck that. I don’t give a damn if Wrecker’s a ghost right now or not. He won't be one forever, and I’ll make him pay,” I roar.
Someone smacks me upside my head from behind. I turn around ready to deck whoever thought it wise to hit me. I freeze mid-swing when I see it’s my ma I almost hit. Fuck.
“You better put that fist down before I remind you who the fuck you are, son,” my ma scolds. I don’t miss the disappointment on her face.
When did she come outside? I really don’t want to deal with all this bullshit right now. I just want to get back on the road and find this son of a bitch. Why does no one seem to understand that?
Venom gets Ma’s attention with a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe you can talk some sense into him. I’m heading back inside to find my woman.” She nods as he turns to do just that.
Blowing out a breath, her words are merely a whisper, “Do you even know where you’re headed when you leave here tonight?”
Looking away from her, “No, Ma. I was going to see if I can find anything up by Azle. That’s where he was last,” I answer honestly.
“Angel knows more about that cartel than any of us. You’d do well to see what she can help you piece together. Besides, it was voted on.” Just as I go to interrupt her, she puts her hand up to stop me. Knowing all too well how much I like to be told what to do. “Unless you want to be out of this club, I suggest you suck it up and try it someone else’s way for a bit.”
“The hell—” I start.
Her face reddens. “I don’t give a damn how you talk to your brothers, but you’ll not back talk me. Do you understand me, Eric?” she yells, waving her finger in my face.
“Yes, ma’am,” I respond through gritted teeth, thoroughly irritated.
“Good. Now finish up your goodbyes, and I swear if I hear you didn’t treat Angel right on this trip you won’t need to worry about Rodeo. I’ll be the one kicking your ass, son. I raised you better than this,” she says before heading back inside.
Fuck. I hate disappointing my ma. But she doesn’t understand this rage I have inside when it comes to Wrecker, who made my life a living hell growing up. I can’t talk about that shit, not now and definitely not back then. No one knows, not even Cessy. Protecting Lilly’s been my top priority for as long as I can remember. So, whatever he did to me didn’t matter, so long as he stayed the fuck away from Lilly.
Hearing that he tried to sell her… there are no words. All that rage and pain, that I stuffed down for years, rushed unchecked to the surface and, I lost it. I should’ve put him in the ground when I was eighteen. I knew then what a cold-hearted bastard he was. Hell, I knew it long before that. Instead, I ran from him and his way of life. I left The Reapers and never looked back.
I worried about Lil every fucking time she went to see him at the clubhouse. Luckily, those visits were few and far between. That still didn’t stop me from begging Ma not to let her go every time I found out Lil was going. I don’t know why she let Lil go. Ma knew he was a dick because of how he’d done her when she had Lil. But I don’t think in her wildest dreams she could’ve imagined who he actually was. Hell, I had a front-row seat for most of the bullshit he did back then and never suspected anything like human trafficking.
Before I get too lost in the black hole of the past, a voice pulls me back, “Hey, stranger, where you at right now?” Lil questions as she walks up beside me.
I need to get the fuck out of my head. She’s the second person to sneak up on me tonight. Home or not, I can’t let down my guard. I have no clue where the fucker could be and wouldn’t put it past him to show up here. Cocksucker thinks he’s invincible, or he used to anyway.
“Just thinkin’ little sis, just thinkin’,” I murmur.
“Well, I hear you’re heading out again tonight. Were ya planning on saying goodbye this time?” she asks, looking at the floor, the hurt evident in her tone.
I wasn’t thinking when I tore out of that lot five months ago. I had one mission—killing that motherfucker. Ma ripped into my ass later for leaving Lil when I did. I should’ve been there for Lil, hell Cess too, and I wasn’t. I can never make that up to them. The only peace I can give them, is putting his ass in the ground.
“I was just about to come find you, promise,” I tell her, pulling her in for a hug.
Laying her head on my chest, she whispers, “Be safe, Havoc. Promise me you’ll be safe.”
Chapter 4
Angel
I desperately don’t want to leave tonight, but I have no choice. I’d rather leave in the morning when we are both rested, and it's daylight. But this puto can’t sit still for more than a day. No matter how much I want to stay and celebrate with mi Reina, I have to go. Havoc is my only shot at revenge. Who knows when the next time he’ll be back here after today? He’s been gone since they pulled us from the warehouse.
I need to get to El Paso and see what I can find at our old farm. That’s where Martinez came into our lives. That's where I need to start if I'm going to locate the cartel. Dead or not, I'm sure his crew still runs the area. They’ll get word the minute I step foot on the farm. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.
Months ago, when my nightmare ended, and I was settled at the clubhouse, I called my oldest friend, James, back home to find out what I could about my parents and our home. Martinez and his men set the farm on fire, and no one had heard from my parents since. James didn’t know they were dead until I told him.
Venom offered to take me home after we found out about the fire to see if there was anything worth salvaging, but I declined. He’d just asked mi Reina to be his wife; it was a time of celebration, not remorse. Besides he’d never let me do what I plan to do. None of the brothers here would.
This trip isn’t about finding things to remind me of my home. I want to find the Hijos de puta that killed my parents and make them pay for what they took from me. The farm’s just the place where we lived. My family is my heart, and without them, I feel nothing. Venom won’t let me do anything that could put me in harm's way. His woman would have his balls if he did.
Reine and this club are my family. I love them all for everything they’ve done for me, but they can never replace my parents. All I had to live for died the day I opened that box and knew they were gone. I gave my life up to save them for those bastards to kill them anyway.
I think that’s why I became the one all the girls leaned on in that hell-hole. They saw strength in me, but in reality, I was just empty. It’s so easy to appear strong when there’s nothing left to lose. My life no longer mattered without my family. It didn’t matter what Martinez and Wrecker did to me anymore.
Thoughts of ending it all sometimes plague me. Dreams that I’m still in those cells haunt me. Fear that they’ll come for me again. I don’t want to live a life where I’m always looking over my shoulder, waiting for them to find me. I know the cartel, and sooner or later they’ll come for all of us. I truly believe with Enterrador, this is the calm before the storm. When that storm is finally unleashed, I hope the Sons make it out alive.
If the cartel still wants me, they’ll find me in El Paso I’ve no doubt about that. Unfortunately for them, I'm not the same naïve girl they took all those months ago. If they come for me, I swear on my parents’ lives that I won’t go back without a fight. If that ends up costing me my life, then so be it. I’d rather die than go back to one of those cells again.
None of the Silent Sons know that I don’t plan on coming back from this. Cessy won’t talk to me about it, but Lilly knows. Going with Havoc is her idea. She loves her brother, but she knows right now we both have a death wish. I think she’s hoping we can save each other, but we both may be too far gone.
“You ready?” Havoc g
rumbles as he walks up to meet me at his bike.
“I’ve been ready. You’re the one who’s late,” I retort.
“Yeah, had to say goodbye to my family, remember,” he spews, glaring at me.
He thinks he can hurt me by being an asshole, but I’m not one of those girls. I don’t know this cabron, so he can try all he wants. His words mean nothing to me, so it won't work. Tossing my bag at him, “Let's go, puto.”
Havoc catches it easily. Grumbling under his breath, he strides over to his saddlebag and stuffs my bag inside.
Rodeo comes out of the clubhouse, walking over to us. “Here, Angel. Remember what I taught you,” he says, handing me his Glock.
Havoc looks over his shoulder at his Prez and me. “She knows how to use that thing?” he snarls.
“Probably better than you, son. You’d do well to remember that. Don’t want to hear about her needing to shoot your ass,” Rodeo chides. “She’s part of this club now, I hope I don’t need to remind you what that means,” he finishes with a lifted brow.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, Havoc looks away. “Don’t worry. Ma already threatened to whoop my ass if I didn’t make sure she was good,” Havoc admits with a huff.
Clapping Havoc on the shoulder, “Damn straight. Now let us know when you get to El Paso. Don’t make her ride straight through, you hear me? Eight hours on a bike at night isn’t safe. Stop around San Angelo and get a room,” Rodeo instructs Havoc.
Rodeo pulls me to him and gives me a bear hug, whispering in my ear “Don’t take any of his shit, Angel.” He presses a kiss to the side my head before stepping back.
Next, he gives Havoc a one-armed hug, telling him, “Stay safe out there, and keep in contact, alright?”
Havoc nods his head as he mounts his bike. The minute I’m on the back, he pulls out of the parking lot. Looking back at the clubhouse over my shoulder, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever see it again. Probably not.
Chapter 5
Havoc
I have every intention of driving straight through to El Paso, regardless of what I told Prez. The sooner I take this chick to see her home, the sooner I can drop her back at the clubhouse. I want nothing more than to be out on the road by my damn self. As the night drags on, I have to admit Prez is right, it's too late to drive over eight hours. Plus, we both could use the sleep, so I stop.
She is different from any woman I’ve ever met. Most women can’t shut the hell up. Not this chick. She hasn’t spoken since we left the clubhouse—not a fucking word the whole trip to San Angelo, not a peep when we got hotel rooms, not a sound this morning at breakfast. For someone with such a fucking mouth on her, I didn’t expect silence. And I'll admit, it’s a little unnerving. We’re about to roll into El Paso, and I have no damn clue where the fuck I'm supposed to go. So, it looks like I’ll be the one starting the conversation.
“Where the hell are we going?” I holler, over my shoulder.
“Take the 375-loop around to loop road,” she yells back.
Damn, they did live right by the border. I wonder where that fucker’s coming across. Martinez may be legal, but I’d bet money most of his crew isn’t.
Twenty minutes later, she's got me turning down a street, then pulling into what I assume was their farm. The house and barn are just blackened skeletons now. There’s no sign that things were ever grown here. They really fucked this place up.
As soon as I pull up next to the house, she's off my bike. The engine is still rumbling. I want to yell at her about safety, but something tells me it’s best to leave her alone right now. I stay seated on my bike as she makes her way up to the house. She shouldn’t be going inside, who knows if the structure is stable or not, but who the hell am I to tell her what to do?
After about ten minutes, a tap lands on my shoulder. Without a word, Angel hands me a piece of folded paper. She turns on her heel and heads back inside before I can even ask what the hell this is. As soon as I open the paper, my anger begins to build. I climb off my bike and begin to pace. My heart pounds louder with each word that I read.
Stop hunting me. I'm tired of the cat and mouse. I'll always be one step ahead of you, so you might as well give up now. You can’t catch me, son, and all you're doing is pissing me off more. Don’t make me have to give you a reason to go home. Remember your first whore? Don’t make me have to do the same thing to your sister's beautiful face.
By the time I finish reading the note, I want to kill someone. How fucking dare he threaten Lil again. Without thinking, I punch the hell out of the house, over and over. My breaths are ragged, and my chest aches with each breath. I don’t notice the pain in my hand or the red on my knuckles. I don’t stop taking my frustrations out on the battered framework until I have a reason to.
“I’d rather the house not fall with me inside it,” Angel says from behind me.
My anger still controls me when I turn to face her, but the insult I’m ready to throw at her falls flat when I look at her. Her brilliant emerald green eyes shine through the soot and tears that stain her face. There's a sadness in them that trumps my rage. It's pointless to try to hurt her she's hurting enough, a hurt my father helped cause.
Stepping away from the house and flexing my hand, I ask, “Did you find what you were looking for?”
She looks out across the land and sighs. “What I’m looking for isn’t a physical thing, Havoc. It can’t be found in a building,” she admits as I step in front of her.
My eyebrows draw together, as I shake my head. “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to come here for closure?”
“Oh, I want closure all right, but there’s nothing in there that will bring me that. I want the same closure you do,” she tells me as she finally looks in my direction. I continue to shake my head. I don’t know what this chick thinks, but I'm not looking for any kind of closure. I want revenge.
Grabbing my chin softly to stop the motion, and forcing me to look her in the eyes, she says, “You want to be able to close the chapter of being Wrecker’s son. Of whatever he put you through as a child. But mostly the fear that he might do something to your family. You may think of it as revenge, but what you want goes deeper than that.” She lets go of my chin as she turns away from me and looks at the acres of land that used to be her family’s farm.
“I don’t want to live in fear that the cartel will come for me again. I want to make those responsible for my parents’ death pay. When I accomplish all of that, I’ll take whatever punishment God gives me as I leave this life.”
For probably the first time in my life, I'm stunned silent. My mouth opening and closing without a word coming out. Not only does it feel like this girl just looked into my fucking soul, but I'm pretty sure she's telling me she plans on dying when this is all said and done.
I saw her with my brothers last night. They love her, and if she's a part of my club, whether she gets on my nerves or not, she's family now. And we protect our family.
That’s something I don’t think Wrecker ever understood—the value of family. In the end, it’s my job to end him, because if I don’t Lil and Ma won’t be the only ones in danger, but the Silent Sons as well.
Chapter 6
Angel
As I stare out at the now barren fields, I’m empty, like my home. There's nothing inside the house but broken beams and ash. The fire station isn’t nearby, so there’s no telling how long the fire burned before they made it here. With the damage, I suspect they may have never come.
It’s silly I know, but I had hoped to find the bodies of my parents, so I could at least bury them properly. But aside from the note I gave Havoc, there was nothing left to find here. It's possible they’re in the barn, which is where I should be now. I need to get it over with. We’re lucky the cartel hasn’t made their presence known yet. They have to know I’m here by now. Nothing happens this close to the border without them knowing.
“I have one more place I need to look, and then we can go,” I say turning to lo
ok at Havoc. He nods in response, but as I begin to walk to the barn, he follows me. It’s odd. Why’s he following me now, when he stayed outside while I went in the house? I’m not sure how I feel about it either. When he didn’t come inside the house with me, I was thankful that he let me grieve in peace.
It’s a short walk to the barn, and as we make our way to the doors, I'm hit with the smell of death. I'm afraid to open the door. The barn’s where we kept all the livestock, but I’m not sure if the smell is from them… or something else. I don’t think I can go inside. I nearly turn and run back to Havoc’s bike, but a nudge on my shoulder stops me.
“Here,” Havoc says, as he hands me a blue handkerchief.
Looking down at the handkerchief, I shake my head. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? Clearing his throat, my attention is drawn to his face. Using a second handkerchief, he covers his nose and mouth with the fabric before securing it behind his head.
“It’ll help mask the smell when you go inside,” he explains as he takes it from where it hangs limply in my hand and secures it around my head. “You ready?” he asks, as he looks me in the eyes, his fingers cradling my head.
As I nod my confirmation, he slides his hands from my head and opens the door. The stench of rotting flesh slams into us. My eyes burn when I take my first step inside. I gag as my last meal threatens to make a reappearance. It takes all I have not to vomit.
It seems that they set the barn on fire with all of the animals trapped inside—the iron of their pens entrapping them. As I walk down the center aisle, I step over burned, splintered wood that’s scattered around, indicating a few of the horses broke through their stalls and are missing. But it looks like all of the cows and chickens either burned to death or suffocated from lack of oxygen.
