by Ambere Sabo
As I reach the back of the barn, I find what I've been looking for—their bodies. The breath hitches in my throat. My parents are so badly burned, I wouldn’t be able to identify them one way or another. But I have no doubt that the two bodies lying on the ground belong to them. Dropping to my knees in front of them, tears start to stream down my face.
Grabbing the rings hanging on a necklace around my neck, my eyes never leave their bodies as I tell Havoc, “In the back of my mind, I always had a little hope. Hope, that the hands Martinez gave me didn’t really belong to them. That he just wanted to keep me in line by making me think they were dead. When I called, and James told me the property had been burned that wish began to fade… But there was still a part of me that hoped they set the fire themselves and then fled. No matter how naïve a thought it may have been, I still had just a little hope. It’s what kept me going through the tough times.”
Without a word Havoc turns and leaves the barn. I guess he’s giving me a moment to say goodbye before we leave. I pray to the Virgin for my parents, and for my soul when this is all over. Taking a few minutes, I collect myself. When I’m finished, I head outside to find Havoc.
He isn’t on his bike when I come out. Instead, I find him sitting on the remnants of what used to be our front porch.
“Rodeo’s calling in a favor. Someone will be here to move the bodies within the hour,” he announces.
Shaking my head, I explain softly, “They’d want to be buried here. There’s a small plot on the back of the property where my grandparents and other family members were laid to rest.”
He pulls his phone from his pocket, fingers moving rapidly. A moment later he says, “They’ll know to bring shovels.”
I nod in reply and take a seat next to him. We sit in comfortable silence waiting for whoever is coming to get here. I’m not sure how he feels about my revelation earlier, but in the end, I just hope he hasn’t told mi Reina. She’ll skip her honeymoon just to come try and talk me out of going up against anyone in the cartel.
I can no longer deny that my parents are gone, but at least I can make sure they’re buried together. When I didn’t know for sure what their fate was, I worried the cartel might have taken my mother to sell because she was a beauty. At least, I can leave that fear behind me now.
Havoc hasn’t asked me about the note his father left for him. Honestly, it wasn’t hard to find. Bright white paper on the burned remnants of a counter tends to stick out. I have no clue what that man did to him as a child, but I know neither Havoc nor myself will let Wrecker hurt a hair on Lilly’s head.
“How do you think that puto knew we were coming here?” I ask. It's been bothering me since I found the note. Looking at him when he doesn’t answer me, I can see the anger in his crystal blue eyes as he grips the edge of my porch.
At that moment I actually look at Havoc for the first time. He’s a good-looking man. Having to hold onto him the whole ride here, I know he has an amazing body. And damn, his arms are some of the sexiest arms I've ever seen. Something Cessy would call arm porn. I'm not even sure if that’s a thing, but if it is, then he has it. He has shaggy blond hair, and his beard is unruly and long, but it suits him. I do hate how it covers most of his face though.
Popping his knuckles, he continues to stare out toward the fields as he finally responds, “I don’t know how that fucker knew we were coming here. I told Rodeo about the note, and he’s going to see if Snoopy can find out anything. The bastard’s either following me, or there's a leak in the Sons.”
Turning to face him fully and tilting my head to the side, I ask, “You don’t really think it could be a leak, do you?” I can't picture a single one of those men turning on their family. They’d all rather die first.
“After what happened to the Reapers, it's never something we can overlook again. I don’t like either possibility. On the one hand, we’d have to take a brother out of this world. A traitor or not, that would rock our club. On the other hand, it would mean that son of a bitch was too close to my damn family last night,” he growls.
Our conversation’s cut short when a truck pulls down the drive. Once it parks, three men climb out. Standing, Havoc walks over to meet them. He talks to them for a few minutes before they all come over to me on the porch.
“Mis mas profundas simpatias,” the tall African American man says, placing a hand over his heart.
“Gracias,” I respond. I stand up and dust the dirt from my jeans off.
“Don’t go thinkin’ he’s somethin’ special darlin’. He looked up how to say that on our ride over here,” the shorter gringo says laughing. His smile reaches his hazel green eyes as he holds out his hand for me to shake.
“Don’t mind them, ma’am. You do have our deepest sympathies though. I’m Hyde,” he says with a bow. “That’s Redneck,” he gestures to the short one, who tips his cowboy hat at me. “And lastly, Casanova. I hear we have some graves to dig?”
As I open my mouth, nothing comes out. My voice has left me with that simple question. God, this is going to be harder than I thought. I nod in response as tears fill my eyes. Havoc comes beside me and puts his arm around my shoulder. He may be an ass, but I appreciate the comfort.
“Just show them where Angel, and we’ll take care of the rest,” he soothes.
I step off the porch. After getting shovels from the truck, they follow me as I walk to the plot. It takes us almost ten minutes to walk to the back of the property. Redneck and Casanova poke at each other the whole time while Hyde scolds them repeatedly. Havoc doesn’t say anything to me or the bickering trio, but his arm hasn’t left my shoulder either. Its warm weight lends me comfort for the coming task.
When we make it to the plot, Hyde quietly tells Havoc, “We're going to need to put the bodies in the truck to bring them back here. It’s not a good idea to carry them all this way. Can you take me to where they are, and we can have the children start digging?”
Havoc looks down at me and asks, “Do you want to come with me or are you good here?”
Looking to the back of the plot, I answer, “I’ll stay. I should say goodbye to my grandparents while I'm here.”
He bristles beside me, and his arm tightens on my shoulder for just a moment. Then he nods and releases me to head back to the barn with Hyde.
“Where would you like the graves?” Redneck asks.
As words still escape me, I point to an area where I think my parents would like to have their resting place. Then they leave me alone to say my goodbyes.
Chapter 7
Havoc
Walking back to the barn to get Angel's parents, I'm glad Hyde’s the one who came with me. The other two wouldn’t shut the fuck up. But Hyde leaves me be. He doesn’t seem to mind that I'm lost in thought. Why does it bother me so damn much that this chick doesn’t care if she lives or dies? I’m on the same path and have been for months, but hearing her say she needed to tell her grandparents goodbye does not sit well with me.
At twenty-one, she’s too young to be thinking shit like that. Hell, she’s only a few months older than Lil, I think. I know Lil has been happy to have someone her own age to hang out with. Not that I'm too damn happy that Lil’s been hanging out in the clubhouse as much as she has been. I guess it’s stupid to think I could keep her away from club life.
Ma told me to mind my business when I asked her about it at the wedding. It still doesn’t sit right with me, but there's not much I can do about it when I'm not there. As long as she stays away from my brothers, I’ll just have to deal. She tends to hang with Angel and Cessy anyway. I see now that they are all like sisters, just like Venom and Ma said.
Going back and seeing all the changes Cess and Angel had made was crazy. I don’t think there's ever been a girl who wasn’t either a club whore or an Ol’ Lady that was allowed to stay at the Sons’ clubhouse. I know that the girls they rescued did, but only for a few days until they could go home. The fact that Rodeo has let her stay shows that he has a sweet spot for h
er too, or she would’ve been at Ma’s with Maribel. This chick matters to people I care about, so by default I have to protect her, even if it’s from herself.
Getting back to Hyde’s truck, I direct him over to the rear barn door, which is the closest access point to the bodies. Once he parks, we both climb out to get to work. He makes a quick stop to grab something from the truck bed.
Lifting up a tarp, he tells me, “We’ll need this to transfer them to the truck. Hopefully, it’ll make it easier to carry them too.”
Well hell, I'm glad he thought about that because I certainly didn’t. “Alright, I’ll warn ya, it smells fucking foul in there, and we may have to move them together. From what I could tell when we found them, they died holding one another. I don’t know how the fire will have affected the stability of the bones either,” I explain as I pull the rag from my pocket to cover my face with. Angel still has my other one, so I'm relieved when Hyde pulls one out of his pocket.
After our noses and mouths are covered, we walk over to the open barn door. Leaving both ends open has helped air the barn out, but it’s still rank.
“Jesus,” Hyde exclaims fanning the air around him. “Why the hell would they burn the livestock too?”
Shrugging and gesturing to all the death visible from the doorway, I respond, “I don’t know man. I'm not sure why they even killed them in the first place. They’d already taken Angel for some fucked up debt payment. It all seems a bit extreme.” Her parents had to have done something to seriously piss the cartel off for them to do all this.
Moving into the barn, we walk over to the bodies and lay the tarp out beside them. “I’ll lift, and you slide the tarp under them. We need to go slowly,” Hyde instructs.
Crouching down next to Angel's parents, I get the tarp pulled up right beside them. It takes us at least ten minutes to get it done, and I’ll admit I almost threw up more than once. Moving bodies is something I hope I never have to fucking do again, but we're finally ready to lift them. We each take one side of the tarp and slowly lift them up off of the ground before slowly walking over to get them in the back of the truck.
Once they’re situated we head back to the grave site. Hyde looks over and tells me, “We’ll see if we can set up a meeting with G. Maybe he knows something about what happened here.”
“Who the hell is G?” I ask, turning in my seat to face him.
“I thought Jekyll told Rodeo about G?” he questions.
“I don’t know what the hell your brother told my Prez, but I don’t know who the fuck G is. So why don’t you tell me,” I tell him, irritated that someone could’ve given Angel answers and it hasn’t happened yet.
Putting the truck in park Hyde turns to look at me fully and answers, “G is one of the Dominion members who's undercover in the Infierno Cartel.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “Why the hell is one of your members undercover in a cartel?” I exclaim.
Dominion is an MC, yes, but they’re not like the Sons or the Reapers. Their members are all average guys who just like to ride. They have regular jobs, with families and homes. I don’t understand why any of them would be mixed up with a fucking cartel.
“G is a cop. He’s a part of a task force the EPPD put together with the feds to try to prosecute the cartel members that are breaking laws on our side of the border,” he explains. Looking out the window at Angel he continues, “You don’t see the same shit in and around Austin that we do over here. The cartels are fucking vicious. G’s been undercover for months now, so we don’t see him often. But if we can get ahold of him, he’ll come talk to you.”
“Alright,” I say with a nod, moving to get out of the truck. Turning back quickly, I grab his arm, “Wait, don’t tell Angel anything about G until we know he can make it. I don’t want her thinking she's gonna get fucking answers if he can't come.”
“No problem. Now let's get this over with,” he tells me as I release him.
Redneck and Casanova have made decent progress on getting the hole dug while we’ve been gone. When we walk up, they hop out to take a break. Angel stays kneeling by her grandparents’ graves while Hyde and I take our turn shovelling dirt. The two idiots continue to fuck with each other while we dig.
Jerking my head in their direction, I grumble, “They always do this shit?”
“Man, this ain't nothing. Wait until they’re fucking drunk. I swear one day one of the brothers is going to duct tape their mouths shut,” he replies with a chuckle.
“Hell, if they keep this up it just might be me,” I reply.
We dig for another hour before it’s deep enough. By the time we climb out, I'm sweating my balls off. Hyde and I gently pull Angel’s parents’ bodies from the truck and walk them over to the grave. After getting the tarp positioned just right over the hole, Redneck and Casanova guide it to the bottom from inside.
Angel’s been quiet the entire time. She hasn’t even moved from her position by her grandparents’ headstones. Her back is to me, but I see her shoulders trembling. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for her. I know how I would feel if it was Ma needing to be buried. I need to see if she wants to put the first shovel of dirt down or say something before we cover the bodies.
Walking over to the back side of the plot, I clear my throat to give her a moment to compose herself before I walk around to where she is sitting between the graves, leaning against the tombstone.
“Hey, we're about ready to start filling the grave. I don’t know if you have any traditions or shit for this sort of thing,” I admit, running a hand through my sweaty hair.
Angel brushes her fingers across her cheeks quickly, then she starts to rise from the ground. I hold out my hand to help pull her up. Her hand feels so damn soft in my rough one. Once she’s standing, she removes her hand from my grasp and uses it to wipe the dirt from her jeans. Without a word, she walks over to her parents’ grave-site.
She takes it all in for a moment. Her head bows under the burden of sorrow. Then drawing a deep breath, she begins speaking in a soft voice, full of unshed grief, “O God, by whose mercy the faithfully departed find rest, bless this grave, and send your holy angel to watch over it. As we bury here the bodies of my beloved parents, deliver their souls from every bond of sin, that they may rejoice in you with your saints forever. We ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.”
“Amen,” the rest of us say in unison.
Once she's finished, she lifts her head, and Hyde hands her a shovel. She scoops up a bit of loose earth and puts the first shovelful of dirt back into the grave. She hands it back to Hyde, who repeats her action. The shovel makes its ways around to each of us, and we each do the same, paying our respects to these people who were strangers to us, but who didn’t deserve to go out like this. Once it's back to Angel, she shoves it in the pile of dirt and without a word walks away.
I want nothing more than to go with her. Watching the tears stream down her face while she made that beautiful blessing broke something inside of me. I’ve never felt someone else's grief so fully before.
I’ve made Wrecker my mission for the last five months, and somehow, I forgot about the important things. My family. I don’t know what I’d do if this grave was for my ma and Lil. I still want Wrecker’s head, but man, it’s fucked up to forget that I need to remember the important things too. And I feel like shit for being a dick to this chick. No wonder Ma’s so disappointed in me.
Chapter 8
Angel
Leaving the family cemetery is something I just have to do. My goodbyes are said, and I can’t stand to watch my parents be covered in dirt. No caskets, no flowers, no gravestones, nothing that they deserve. As I walk away from my family’s plot, my mind and body are numb.
My parents were devoted Catholics. I grew up in the church, but never in a million years did I think I’d be giving the blessing over their graves. Our priest would’ve asked questions. He’d want the police called. And I understand that, but it won’t do any good. Besides, there just
isn’t time.
A murder case takes time to work. The police would hold my parents’ bodies while they tried to figure out what happened. That’s if they even tried. It's always a toss-up when the cops come. Quite a few of them are in someone's pocket. We have the cartels and Mexican mafias to worry about this close to the border. So, lots of lucrative opportunities for palms to be greased and pockets to be lined around here.
I doubt anyone showed up to investigate the fire at all. The extent of the damage says that no one came to try to put out the fire. If the cartel told them not to come for the fire, they sure as hell won’t work a case to find out who set it. They already know who, and they won’t do a damn thing about it.
Knowing it won't take as long to fill the grave as it did to dig, I wander at a quick pace back towards the front of the property. Taking note of all the places that were important to me growing up as I go. Saying goodbye to each reminder. The tree I used to swing from, my favorite spot to sit and read—none of it looks like it did when I left. The fire ruined everything, but I’ll always have the memories of growing up here.
I always thought one day I’d get married, have a family of my own and take over the farm. I mean, I wanted to travel and see the world one day, but I always knew in the end that I’d come back here. The future is no longer set for me. My plans for it went up in flames with my home. Not that I expect to have much of a future at this point. All I see now is the need to make the cartel pay for what they took from me.
The memories of my parents and my childhood flood me as I make my way to the front of the house where Havoc's bike is parked. Mi mama was a beauty. Jet black hair, tall and slender. I have her striking emerald eyes and high cheekbones. She was always in the kitchen cooking something. Now, I wish I’d paid more attention when she tried to teach me. There are things I’ll never be able to cook like she did.
