Kellan

by Jayne Blue

  Kellan had just reached my father and put a hand out on his arm. My dad jerked away from him and said something that made Kellan’s jaw twitch. I saw his fists curl at his side but to his credit, he didn’t take a swing at him.

  Dad turned around and staggered toward the front door. E.J. walked out with him. Kellan turned to me, his face white with concern. His shoulders dropped when he saw me, safe and sound and still in the wings of the stage.

  “I need to go get my dad,” I said to Justin.

  Mac called from the bar that the next round was on the house and that seemed to quell the commotion once and for all. I probably should have gone back out there and sang another song. But my heart wasn’t in it.

  I ran back toward the green room with Justin on my heels.

  “Mallory,” he called out. “It’s over. Don’t sweat it.”

  “Don’t sweat it! I knew he was off tonight. I shouldn’t have let him be alone. I’ve got to go find him now and get him home.”

  “Fine. Just let me come with you.”

  “It’s better if I catch him by myself. You know it is.”

  “Like hell.” Kellan came into the room. His nostrils flared and his eyes flashed as he stood next to Justin. The two of them formed a wall of testosterone in front of me. They couldn’t be more opposite. Kellan was broad and dark. Justin was blonde, just as tall, but had a sensitive glint to his eyes.

  “This is a family matter,” I said.

  “You are family!” Justin and Kellan said it together, then turned to look at each other, then back at me.

  “I appreciate your concern. But this is my problem. Please tell me E.J. got his keys before he staggered off at least? He couldn’t have gotten very far.”

  “I hope so too,” Kellan said. “Come on, we’ll go through the kitchen and head him off. I told E.J. and Tate to keep him in one place until we had a chance to deal with him.”

  “Thanks.”

  I grabbed my bag from the couch by the wall and walked down the hall with Kellan in front of me and Justin behind. I practically ran through the kitchen and out the back to the parking lot by the dumpster.

  When I got outside, I heard a screech of tires and tripped over something large lying right in front of the back door. I stumbled forward and would have face planted onto the asphalt if Kellan hadn’t shot out a hand and pulled me back.

  “Son of a bitch,” he muttered. I looked down. The large thing I’d nearly tripped over was E.J. He lay damn near unconscious and crumpled by the dumpster with a large bloody gash across his eye. He moaned as Justin leaned down and shook him awake.

  “What happened?” Kellan stepped around me. By now, Mac and Joker had piled out the door. They helped get E.J. to his feet.

  “He had a gun,” E.J. said, his voice groggy.

  My blood ran cold then roared in my ears.

  “Drew down on me and smashed me across the temple when I tried to get his keys. I think that dude’s got a fucking death wish.”

  My blood ran cold. Jesus, God. A death wish. He’d come loaded to a biker bar, brandishing a gun. Just what exactly did he think was going to happen? I was about to ask which way my father went when another squeal of tires cut through the air followed by a sickening crash. We turned together. A car had just wrapped itself around a telephone pole at the end of the road leading to the Den. No. Not a car. A truck. My dad’s red F-350. Smoke billowed out of the hood.

  I ran. My legs felt stuck in molasses, but I tore across the parking lot. Kellan and Justin passed me. It was no more than a hundred yards to the wrecked truck, but it seemed like I’d never get there.

  I did though, just behind Justin. Kellan got there too. I ran toward the cab but Justin held me back. Flames licked the windshield and I could just make out my father’s body slumped against the steering wheel. Lifeless. Colorless. Just like the day I’d found my mother in her bed when she finally couldn’t fight anymore.

  Then everything seemed to close in around me and I sank to my knees.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Kellan

  Smoke, flames, wrecked steel, and body parts. A part of me felt at home. A familiar, phantom pain flared through my right calf in the space that wasn’t there anymore. But it was just a fleeting pain and I sprang into action.

  “Get her back,” I yelled to Mallory’s cousin. She was motionless. White as a ghost. Justin gave me a nod and started to drag her away from the wreck. She fought him, screaming like some wild thing. Then her body went rigid and she sank to the ground. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth. Orange flames danced in her eyes as she watched her father’s truck burn.

  I turned toward it. I heard the roar of two engines as E.J. and Tate came on the scene. They’d been smart enough to grab a fire extinguisher and I prayed there was enough time for that but knew I couldn’t take the chance. I got to the driver’s side door and tried to wrench it open. Mallory’s old man slumped against the wheel. The horn blared as smoke filled my lungs.

  I reached through the shattered window and popped the lock on the door. When I opened it, Ned Rhodes spilled out in my arms. He was a heavy bastard. Not fat, but built like a brick shit house. Adrenalin fueled me as I dragged him away from the burning truck. E.J. and Tate ran forward and doused the hood of the truck with the fire extinguishers.

  I dragged Mallory’s dad away from the truck and laid him on the ground.

  “Call 911,” I called to Mallory. Her eyes were transfixed on the billowing smoke at the front of her dad’s truck.

  “Mallory!” She couldn’t hear me.

  “I got it,” Justin said. He pulled a phone out of his back pocket. I turned back to Ned. Blood caked his nostrils and he had a nasty gash on his forehead. But he wasn’t breathing. Worse than that though, I knew he didn’t want to. I’d seen the look in his eyes just before he tore off toward the lot. I’d seen it a hundred times in the desert. Ned was two generations older than those kids, but the look was the same. Nothing more dangerous than a soldier with a death wish.

  I tilted his head back and checked his airway. I went on autopilot, my field training kicking in. I started chest compressions then breathed into his mouth. His chest rose and fell and I thanked Christ for that. But if this old bastard didn’t want to come back, it wasn’t going to matter. I’d be damned if I was going to let him die right in front of his daughter.

  “They’re on their way,” Justin called out. Good. Ned’s color was gray and his body was completely limp. I hoped he hadn’t broken his neck.

  E.J. and Tate came beside me. “Can we help?”

  Panting, I shook my head. “Go back to the bar and make sure all the girls get home all right.”

  I knew none of this had anything to do with the club trouble, but I didn’t want to take the chance this night could turn from one disaster into bona fide fucking tragedy.

  “Got it.” Tate and E.J. said something to Justin, then climbed on their bikes and tore off for the parking lot of the club.

  God. They never get here. It seems like the choppers never get here. I took a breath. It was bad enough Mallory seemed to be lost to shock. I didn’t need to spin off to Trauma Land myself. This was my club, my town, and I had asphalt under me instead of sand. Whatever happened, I could deal.

  Maybe five minutes went by, then we were surrounded by an ambulance, a fire truck, and a news van. I gave a look to E.J. though I wished Brax was here to deal with it. The last fucking thing we needed was to end up on the news. But the camera crew was already setting up. If E.J. couldn’t figure out damage control, they were going to get a nice shot of Ned Rhodes’s flaming truck with The Wolf Den sign in the background.

  Fan-fucking-tastic.

  Then a sound came from Mallory like a wounded animal. She’d made it to her feet and got to her dad just when the E.M.T.s did. I stepped back to let them do their job. I put a hand on Mallory’s shoulder and pulled her back as well.

  “Daddy.” When she finally did make a sound, it tore at me.
Ned Rhodes was a mess, a drunk, and half a bastard. But he was Mallory’s father and the man was in pain. I just hoped there would still be time to save him.

  “You ride with them, okay?” I said, putting gentle but firm hands on her shoulders. She looked up, her eyes wide with shock, all color drained from her cheeks. “I’ll be right behind you with Justin. It’s going to be okay.”

  I prayed that it would. The E.M.T.s had Ned bagged, a line started, and strapped to a backboard. They lifted him onto their stretcher and moved fast to the back of their rig. I took that as a good sign. You only need to haul ass when there’s still hope.

  I held Mallory against me. She was small but fierce. That’s all she ever had to be. I wanted to keep her warm, protect her. For the moment, she was letting me. So, even in all the chaos, she had me spun around and filled with my own need.

  Justin stepped forward. “Mal, they need to go. You ready?”

  Sniffing, she looked up and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.”

  Justin shot me a look and wrapped his arms around Mallory, guiding her away from me and toward the rig. He helped her into the cab and strapped her in. The E.M.T.s hustled in around him and tore out of there with lights and sirens.

  Mac had already driven up in the Jeep. Stepping out, he tossed me the keys. I stepped around to the driver’s side and got in. I rolled down the passenger side window and shouted to Justin. “You coming? Get in.”

  He shut his eyes tight as he exhaled, but nodded. Slapping the hood of the car, he hopped in and we tore off after Mallory and the ambulance.

  I ignored every speed limit and half the stop lights on the way. The ambulance got ahead of us, but I’d be damned if I’d let Mallory walk into that hospital without me by her side. She’d looked lost, broken. She’d probably convinced herself her old man wasn’t going to make it and then she’d really be on her own. She wouldn’t, and I’d prove it to her. For now though, it was just about getting through the next hour and the one after that.

  For about a minute, Justin stayed quiet. But I could sense the same urgency in him as I had in me. He dug one fist into his thigh and breathed heavy into the other one where he rested it against his chin. Then he gave up on that and smashed his fist against the side of the door.

  “Fucking Ned,” he said. “He can’t just trash his own life. He’s got to drag Mallory down with him.”

  “He’s not dragging her anywhere. Not if I can help it.”

  Justin barked out a bitter laugh. “You don’t know her as well as you think you do.”

  “I know her well enough.”

  Justin was tense, worried. He was Mallory’s family and the only member of it that seemed at least half-assed able to handle shit. She mattered to him. I reminded myself all of that in a split second. It’s why I didn’t bust his nose on the dashboard after the next words came out of his fucking mouth.

  “Well, congratulations. You’ve tapped it. So why the hell don’t you just move on?”

  “Careful. You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

  “I know you well enough. You wanna tell me that was love at first sight back at The Sand Bar parking lot? And every minute after that? Look, I get what you’re trying to do with the Den and all. And up until tonight, I thought maybe that place was going to really make a go of it. But Mallory’s getting hurt. She can’t afford it. I really can’t believe I want to get into this right now. But it seems pretty appropriate. Whatever happens in that hospital, Mallory’s shit is about to get pretty messy. She doesn’t need more of it from you.”

  I was about to tell him to fuck off and mind his own business. Then, I don’t know. It was dark. No traffic. And as I did almost eighty through the main streets of Lincolnshire, I got a little clarity where Justin was concerned. Mallory was his business. And if shit were reversed, I’d have probably bashed my own face in at least once already.

  “I said you don’t know me as well as you think you do. And yeah, I’ll be straight with you. In the beginning, you’re right, I was thinking with my dick where she was concerned. But that’s not all of it. Not anymore. She matters. A lot. I want her in my life. I can handle messy. Fuck. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s kind of my specialty.”

  Justin turned and looked at me. I kept my eyes straight ahead but saw enough of him in my periphery to know I’d shocked him.

  “Then you’re probably the one who’s fucked.”

  I couldn’t help it. The absurdity of the whole thing just kind of hit me. We were barreling through town after an ambulance carrying Mallory’s fucked-up father. The girl had been running hot and cold with me for weeks and every time I thought I got somewhere with her, she bolted. And yet, as I pressed my foot to the floor and the V6 engine growled, I knew the next thing out of my mouth was the truest thing I’d ever said.

  “Probably. Coz, it seems like I’m in love with her.”

  Justin caught up to my wavelength and laughed for real this time as we made the last turn toward the hospital.

  “So you gonna just sit there and throw shade at me or are you gonna help a brother out?”

  Justin shook his head. “Well, you’re timing’s stellar. I’ll give you that.”

  I shrugged. “I’m getting that this kind of thing happens a lot in her life.”

  Justin let out a sigh and all trace of humor left his voice. “Yeah. It really fucking does. My Uncle Ned’s been a train wreck his whole life. Until he met my Aunt Kate, Mallory’s mom. My mom said she helped him be a better man. They met when Aunt Kate was in college and he was twenty-some years older than her. She saved his life. Straightened his shit out. Then she died.”

  “Mallory told me that much. She was just a kid when that happened. And she’s been trying to hold everything together since.”

  “Pretty much. She’s been putting her own life on hold forever. She could do and be anything she wants. Jesus. She was going to go to college. What she can do on stage isn’t all of it. She scored off the charts on her S.A.Ts. She even took classes for a semester or two. But shit with Ned always gets in the way. You know, if you’re serious. If you think you’re in this for real. She’s not going to make it easy on you.”

  I shook my head. “I got that part figured out already.”

  “She’s just not used to guys sticking around. She’s more like her dad than she wants to admit. Neither of them knows how to ask for help. And if you try to give it to her, she’s going to push back even harder. Both stubborn as shit.”

  “Yeah. I noticed that too. You got any advice?”

  I glanced at him, just for a second before fixing my eyes back on the road. Street signs whizzed by. The red neon emergency sign was just up ahead. Justin looked down and shook his head before looking back up at me.

  “Just don’t quit on her. No matter how hard she pushes back. You’re going to want to throttle her half the time. I know I do. The reason Mallory doesn’t trust anyone to help her is because pretty much nobody ever does. She doesn’t have much in the way of male role models. She’s got me, but I was a kid just like her for a lot of the worst of it. And her mom got pretty good at hiding how bad things were before she died. Mallory just kind of picked that up. What you saw tonight? That’s standard Uncle Ned. I don’t know. He just never got over whatever the fuck happened to him in Vietnam, you know?”

  We pulled into the hospital emergency lot. I jammed the Jeep in park and gripped the steering wheel for a second before whipping the keys out. Ned’s ambulance was already sitting in the bay so Mallory had to be inside somewhere. Justin and I got out and stood side by side just before we walked in together.

  “Yeah, I know a little something about that,” I said, reaching down to draw up the right leg of my jeans so he could see the titanium rod where my shin was supposed to be. “And I’m not one to quit on something just because it gets hard.”

  Justin looked down and swallowed hard. He took a step back and gave me a tight-lipped nod. “Good. Coz I have a feeling this shit in there is going to get a whole he
ll of a lot worse before it gets better whether Ned lives or dies.”

  So did I. But I meant what I said. I put a hand out and Justin took it. We shook hard and I realized how much it really mattered to me that he knew I was serious. How much she mattered to me. And it all just kind of crept up on me. As crazy as everything was, a peace settled over me that I hadn’t felt in a long damn time. God help me, I was about to smile because of it.

  Then I heard Mallory cry out. It ripped through me like a bullet and heat settled in my belly. When she hurt, I hurt. And now I wanted to tear the world apart to get to her.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Mallory

  “Who makes decisions for him?”

  A nurse came up to me, at least I think she was a nurse. It was hard to tell. She had a tablet in her hand and punched things in on the screen.

  “Miss, does he have a living will?”

  A living will. I couldn’t think.

  “Yes,” I said. “And I’m his . . . I’m all he’s got left. I make decisions for him.”

  She said other things but none of them sank in. She gave me the tablet and had me sign some kind of consent form. I didn’t care. Whatever they needed. Anything to bring the color back into my dad’s face. I tried to edge closer to the exam room they’d wheeled him to. The whole thing happened so fast. They’d pulled a pink curtain around him and I could only see the squeaky white shoes of everyone in there trying to help him.

  Another siren pierced through my ears. No. Not a siren. A high pitched alarm from some machine they had hooked up to him.

  “Get a crash cart!”

  Then the curtain tore open and a nurse rushed out. I stepped forward. One of the doctors, at least I think he was, pumped my father’s chest but Dad’s color was all wrong. Gray. Ashen. His hand hung slack at his side. Wrong. All wrong. Then I saw the flat lines on the monitors they’d hooked him up to and I understood as the ground seemed to open up beneath me.

  Something rose up inside me as I stood there unable to do a single thing to help him. I cried out his name and hoped he could hear me.