Diary of a Rocker's Kid (D.O.R.K #1)

by Haley Allison

  Chapter 18

  June 19, 2015

  Mission W3 Reunion Completed

  I have to hand it to Gio. His nickname for me could not be any more spot-on. This life I’m living now is sheer madness.

  The W3 Reunion was not only watched by millions, but the clip went viral on news websites. Everyone in the U.S. who follows entertainment news has now seen us on TV. They all heard my explanation of the pool picture, too, and I’m actually receiving some apologies from people who made fun of me…not many, but still, it’s a little validation where once I had none.

  I opened my Twitter account, which I’ve barely touched in four years, and Ana helped me post a selfie I got with Johnny McIntyre behind the scenes. I captioned it:

  “Mission W3 Reunion complete! Thanks, Johnny! #comebackW3”

  I tagged Johnny and the show, and they reposted it and replied, thanking me again for what I did. Then my hashtag took off and became a top trend on Twitter. One of my first posts ever, and it’s a top trend! I got more than 70,000 follows in the space of two days. Now when people search my name, it has the little white check mark inside a blue circle that indicates I’m legit. Cass, Gio, and Steph all followed me and shared my post, and they have millions of followers each, so the number just keeps growing and growing.

  People are begging for more W3, but things aren’t looking too great. I’ve shown the posts to Dad, but he still hasn’t chosen one way or the other. Cass and I came clean last night about our plotting to get him back to his music career, and his reaction was kind of heartbreaking.

  He looked into my eyes with a sad expression and said, “But you’re not grown up yet.”

  I said, “Dad, I’m close enough. I’ll be eighteen in four months.”

  Tears came into his eyes, and he whispered, “I don’t know what to do,” and turned and walked away.

  This totally sucks. All this work, and still the only thing holding him back, holding that entire band back, is me. Cass, Carl, and James are all for the return, but Dad is just so attached to me that he can’t let me go. They all tried to comfort me last night by telling me it’s not my fault, but I don’t believe them, and I feel extremely guilty about it. For once in my life, I’m running out of ideas.

  Ttyl,

  Mads

  ***

  “Gio, stop.” I giggle. “Stop!” We’re in his pool together the next afternoon, by ourselves, and he’s splashing me without mercy.

  “If you stop being cute, I’ll stop splashing you.”

  “But I can’t help that!”

  “Well then, I guess you’re screwed.” His giant bronze hands continue to scoop gallons of water in my direction. I sputter and cough, holding my hands in front of my face in a futile attempt to shield myself. Every time I turn away from him, he follows me. I love his teasing nature…it’s one of the things that makes him so hot. It’s getting old after ten minutes of this nonsense, though.

  Finally, I lunge at him and throw my arms around him, blocking his arms. “Ha! Can’t splash me now.” He simply moves his arms and starts splashing me from the sides. “Dammit!” He laughs and keeps on splashing me until I move my hand down to an area I haven’t touched over the clothes yet.

  Gio freezes and drops his hands to my elbows. I only barely grazed him, but it still shocked him. “Man, I need to harass you more often.”

  “I think you harass me enough.” I rub the water out of my eyes.

  Gio laughs at my expense, and then he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me softly. “Mm…sorry, babe. You’re awesome.”

  “I forgive you. You’re amazing.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “You’re perfection.”

  I grasp his neck and kiss his wet lips again. Gio kisses me back without restraint, making me feel absolutely adored. My tongue slips into his mouth, and I savor the cinnamon taste as he reaches a hand up under the strap of my bikini top. I’ve been letting him touch me under the strap, but no lower. He likes feeling like he’s almost allowed to take it off.

  Gio pulls the strap down from my shoulder and rubs my skin with his thumb. I bring my hands down his sides, tracing every muscle. Gio leaves my mouth and kisses down my neck, stopping on the skin of my shoulder. He slides his tongue out and in, giving me just a hint of it.

  “You’re such a tease,” I whisper. His warm breath comes out in a rush as he laughs.

  He presses his lips against my ear and whispers, “Sarai la mia rovina. Mi piaci troppo.”

  Chills run down my arms, and my breath comes out in a shuddering rush. “What does that mean?”

  He hesitates and shakes his head against mine. “You don’t get to know that yet.”

  When he pulls back, pain is etched into his face, and it kills me. “Hey…what’s wrong? You look upset.”

  This isn’t the first time this has happened lately. He’s been in kind of a funk, acting super into me sometimes and then turning around and acting all distant. It’s been happening ever since Dalton came over. I’m not sure what to think, and it’s making me feel like maybe he doesn’t really like me after all.

  “Honestly, yeah, something is kind of bothering me,” Gio says with a sigh, and I let go of him. We hold on to the side of the pool, facing each other.

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  “Well…not really.” He traces shapes in the water, not meeting my gaze. “It’s just some personal shit I’m working through right now.”

  I blow out a dejected sigh. “Okay,” I mutter, turning toward the stairs leading out of the pool.

  Gio takes me by the arm and turns me back to him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s just…well, I’m not really sure where we stand. You say you like me, but it seems like you don’t really want to let me in.”

  I can almost see the stone wall go up as his eyes glaze over. “Madness, it’s hard for anyone to get in here.”

  “Even the person you like?”

  Gio shrugs. “Anyone.”

  I thought I was okay with a fling in the beginning, but I can’t take another person shutting me out. I’m really starting to care about him, and since he’s not letting me in, Scenario 2 is looking more and more plausible. I don’t want a sex-based relationship. I never have, and if that’s what he wants, this is never going to work.

  “Look, Gio…this has been amazing, and I don’t want to lose my chance with you, but if all you want is to screw around with someone, I’m not that girl. You’d have better luck with that somewhere else. Maybe this was a mistake.” I back up toward the stairs. “Maybe I should go.”

  The pain in his face deepens as I glide away, but I turn around, anyway. When my foot is on the first step, I feel his hand on my arm.

  “Wait.” I turn back around to face him, and he sighs. “There’s something you need to know.”

  We go back over to the side of the pool, and I stand in front of him, waiting for his explanation.

  “There’s…there’s something I’ve held back on telling you. The truth is, I went out with Raven Redinger last year. There was a lot of scandal attached to our relationship—”

  “You went out with my doppelgänger?”

  “Yes.” Gio nods, looking more scared and vulnerable than I’ve seen him yet. “She acted like she was really into me, but then three months after we got together, she told me our relationship was all for show. It was for the cameras, the media, the fans…I really cared about her, but she didn’t care about me, and I guess that’s why I’ve been holding back from you. I didn’t want to tell you all my secrets until I was sure you were nothing like her.”

  “Oh, wow…” A fake relationship for the cameras. I’ve heard of that before, but I never thought much about the effect it would have if one person was not in on the charade.

  “The night I found out about everything, I went out and partied at a club before officially breaking up with her. I did some stuff with a girl that I shouldn’t have, and someone sent pictures to the tablo
ids and they ruined my reputation. The only girls that wanted me after that were sluts who only wanted one thing. You’re the first girl I’ve met since then who doesn’t think I’m a dirty cheater. It was such a relief that you didn’t hate me when you met me that I didn’t have the guts to tell you about all this, but…I understand if you don’t want to be with me now.”

  I lean my head down on my arms atop the cement and try to process what I just heard. Gio went out with the ‘mean girl’ version of me. Someone who looks almost exactly like me. I thought he liked me because I look like Wonder Woman and play video games, but maybe it’s more complicated than that. I don’t really want to know the answer, but I need to. “Is that why you wanted to be with me? Is it because I look like her?”

  “No, of course not.” He leans down over me and slips his arm around my shoulders. “You are both beautiful, but you have something she doesn’t have.”

  “A crooked chin?” I smirk as I turn to look him in the eyes.

  He shakes his head. “No, you have a heart. You do share a birthday with her though, which is weird. And you’re the same age.”

  That ‘bats whirling in my stomach’ feeling comes back again. “What?”

  “You’re exactly the same age, and you look exactly alike. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were twins.”

  Time stands still as the clues start to form a cohesive web of information in my head.

  Raven Redinger shares a birthday with me.

  We look just alike.

  Jacie and Raven live together in town, but Jacie’s out of town.

  Jacie’s uppity, and she’s from a super-rich British family, which explains why she might be a little reserved.

  She’s a huge star, and she’s my favorite, which explains why Dad wouldn’t want to tell me about her.

  If what Gio just told me about Raven is true, I bet she learned her conniving ways from…her mother.

  My mother.

  Could it be true? Is this my answer?

  “Ho-ly shit,” I whisper.

  “What?”

  “I have to go.” I make my way over to the stairs. When I’m up on the patio, I snatch a towel from a nearby chair, wrap it around myself, and sprint around the villa toward the front gate.

  “Where are you going?” Gio shouts after me, but I’m too distressed to answer. I have to get home. As much as it’s going to kill me, I have to know the truth.

  Kelsey lets me in, and the first thing I do is call for Ana. I hear her bedroom door open, and she comes to the top of the stairs as I reach the bottom.

  “What’s up?” Ana asks.

  “I…I think I…may have solved the mystery,” I pant, whispering the last part.

  “What?”

  I climb up the stairs carefully. “AYMM.”

  Ana knows my codes. Her eyes widen until her irises look like green egg yolks. “Holy shit!” That’s the second time she’s ever said that in her life.

  I take her hand and yank her down the hall toward my room. “Come on, we’re going to crack this case once and for all.”

  We lock my door behind us and sit down on my bed in front of my laptop, and Ana has to take it from me because my hands are shaking so hard. “What do you want me to search for?” Ana asks.

  “Raven Redinger.” I give her a brief run-down of my conversation with Gio. “If it’s true that Raven shares my birthday, and if she doesn’t have a father, it’s almost a guarantee that Jacie Redinger is my mother.”

  “I’m going to her Wikipedia.” I manage to nod. She looks over her information and starts pointing like a mad woman when she comes to the “Born” section. “Look, look, look!”

  It reads:

  Raven Elvira Redinger

  October 31, 1997 (age 17)

  Los Angeles, California, United States

  Then Ana’s finger moves down to the “Parents” section.

  Jacie (Jessica Charity) Redinger (mother)

  No father is listed.

  ***

  After the Raven Redinger discovery, Ana and I sit still on my bed for about five minutes. Well…not ‘still.’ I can’t stop shaking for anything. “What are you going to do?” Ana asks.

  “I don’t know.” I whimper. “What should I do? I mean…is there any chance we could be wrong?”

  “Well, I guess it could all be one big fat coincidence, but I seriously doubt that. I think we just found your mother and your twin sister.”

  Tears well up in my eyes as we gaze upon photos of Jacie and Raven standing together on the red carpet. Jacie really does love ruffles. All her red carpet dresses are superbly extravagant and queen-like. Their milky white skin, their huge blue eyes, their dark hair and trim figures…Ana’s right. There’s no mistaking it. This has to be the other half of my family. “No…no, no, no. Please tell me my idol didn’t give me up. Please tell me she didn’t keep my twin sister and give me up.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, except there’s one simple way you can get an affirmative answer on all this.”

  “What’s that?”

  She reaches down and clasps my hand for moral support, looking directly into my eyes. “Go find your dad and ask him to tell you the truth.”

  “No…”

  “Mads, you have to.”

  “No, he’s not going to tell me. He’s determined not to tell me the truth, no matter what.”

  “Just ask him. This is what you came here for. Plus, I mean…it’s your only option now.”

  “Well…I guess I can try.”

  “Take the laptop. He can’t argue with the evidence.”

  I put on a t-shirt and shorts over my swimsuit and hobble down the stairs, holding my laptop in one hand and gripping the rail like my life depends on it with the other. When I touch down on the floor and see Dad sitting on the couch in the living room, I take deep breaths and will myself to stop shaking and calm down. Breathe…breathe…

  I approach him and swallow against my nausea. “Hey, uh…c-can I talk to you about something?”

  Dad immediately becomes concerned by the look on my face. “Yeah, sit down, honey. You feelin’ okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I’ve seen something.” I clear my throat nervously as I sit down and open my laptop, revealing the browser that’s still open to the pictures. “Dad…am I related to these people?”

  Dad clenches his eyes shut and breathes out a long sigh that sounds more like a growl. His hands go up to cover his mouth, and he leans forward on the couch, whispering to himself, “I guess the day has come.”

  That was all the confirmation I needed. I immediately break down in tears. “Please, please tell me this isn’t true. Please say it isn’t her. Anyone but her.”

  Dad drops his hands and shakes his head solemnly. “You wouldn’t forgive me if I told you another lie.” He takes me in his arms, and I lean against him, quaking as the most violent sobs I’ve ever heard in my life tear from my throat. Jacie Redinger was the one person I didn’t want to admit could be my mother. To make it even worse, she kept my twin and gave me away. I can’t even imagine a worse resolution than this.

  Dad holds me without words for a long time, letting me cry it all out until I’m nothing but a heap of shuddering flesh. He finally says something as he wipes my tears away. “Sweetheart, before anything else is said, you need to know that none of this is your fault, okay? She made the biggest mistake of her life when she walked away from you that day, and she knows that. Trust me, she knows, and I daresay she’s regretted it ever since then.”

  “It doesn’t matter if she regretted it.” I’m still crying but I don’t have the energy to sob any more. “She gave me up. Jacie Redinger gave me up.”

  “But it was her loss, darlin’.” Dad holds my head against his shoulder and kisses my forehead. “She’s a moron who gave up a perfect, beautiful, talented little girl for no good reason.”

  “So she didn’t have a reason?” I pull back, and Dad’s face turns ashen as he mu
tters a curse under his breath. “Dad, what was her reason?” He hesitates. “Tell me!”

  “She, uh…” He looks away and swallows back his own tears. “She only wanted one child.”

  I’m too stunned to speak for about ten seconds. I was hoping he would say she was poor at the time, or that she was having trouble managing with twins, but…again, that’s the answer I didn’t want to hear. “That’s it? She kept Raven and gave me away because she only wanted one child?”

  “Come here.” Dad pulls me back into his embrace. “I’m so sorry, angel. I’m so, so sorry.” I cling to him, and the sobs begin all over again.

  Ana hears me and comes to the top of the stairwell. “Hey, is she okay?”

  Dad sighs heavily, squeezing me against his chest. “Time will tell.”

  ***

  Half an hour later, I run up to my bedroom and burst in the door, paying no attention to Ana and Dad following me. My gaze zones in on the basket and the pictures next to my bed. After one good look, seething with anger, I sling the basket across the room. The note flies out with the pictures, and I jump onto the bed to grasp it in my hand.

  “Fuck you!” I rip the note to shreds as more tears flood my cheeks. “Fuck you and everything you stand for, you worthless bitch!” I hurl the pieces against the wall as my sobs become hysterical. Ana tries to grab me, but I shove her in my anger and she slips back on the bed.

  I stand up and run around the room, throwing everything I can get my hands on haphazardly. The glass in a picture frame shatters, and the sound of destruction echoes the pain in my soul. I pick up the basket again, and Dad watches in silence as I tear the first thing he ever saw me in to shreds. Everything fogs up in my head except one thing.

  Fuck Jacie Redinger. Fuck her. I hate her.

  She ruined my life, gave me a name I’ll never live down, and then she went on to become an A-list actress with everything she ever wanted. She gave everything to Raven, and I got jack shit. I spent my whole life worshipping her like an idiot, never knowing she was the reason I couldn’t live life on the outside. Fuck her. She used to be my favorite person, and now she’s all the way down at the bottom of my list. Raven’s not far up from her. She’s living my life. She even had my Prince Charming first, and she chewed him up and spit him out.