Diary of a Rocker's Kid (D.O.R.K #1)

by Haley Allison

  This is it. My first ever red carpet premiere. I don’t know whether to puke, faint, or develop a God complex. Am I ready?

  The driver comes around the side and opens the door, and Alfonzo and Steph step out first. The roar Alfonzo is greeted with is nothing short of bewildering.

  Gio squeezes my hand and says, “Let’s go.” I glance at him, briefly thinking how picture perfect he looks in a black tuxedo with his hair coiffed to the side. He looks like the star he is, and I’m so afraid I won’t measure up to him out there, but I nod, knowing I don’t have a choice but to step outside.

  Gio steps out first, and the cheers for him aren’t quite as loud as his father’s but still respectable. He takes me by the hand and I step out, and I hear the cheers change to “ooh” and “ahh.” I smile, wanting to laugh at the abrupt change in reaction, but I manage to keep my composure.

  I hear a reporter describing us as we pass by him. “Giovanni Abate just stepped out of the limo, and he’s holding hands with his date, Madison Daley, the daughter of the Grim Weeper. She’s wearing a Stephan Lowe original dress.”

  Thank God they didn’t call me ‘Raven Redinger.’ We move on, and I don’t hear the rest of what he says.

  On the way, Gio gets stopped for an interview with a major entertainment news channel, and he pulls me up beside him as he talks to the reporter in front of a camera. I hope nobody notices how hard I’m shaking. It’s just so surreal…

  “Giovanni, how does it feel to be at another one of your father’s premieres?” the gorgeous, tall, blonde reporter asks him.

  “Oh, it’s just another Saturday night for us,” Gio teases, grinning. I smile and watch him proudly. My prince truly is charming.

  She laughs at his joke a little too loudly, and then she asks him a few more general questions about Alfonzo’s film. Then her attention turns to him and me. “So you’re here with Madison Daley tonight. Can you tell us what the situation is with you two?”

  The ‘situation.’ Interesting word choice. I wish I knew the answer myself.

  Gio says, “This beautiful girl is my neighbor and also my crush.” “My crush”…I guess I can live with that. “Her presence here today is actually the result of a bet. I promised I’d take her on the red carpet with me if she played me one of her songs. She’s every bit as talented as her father. I got the better end of that deal.”

  The reporter gasps and turns full attention to me. “You’re a musician too?” She holds the microphone up to my mouth.

  “Uhh…” I chuckle nervously and shoot Gio a what-the-fuck look. He cringes and mouths the word, “Sorry.” “Well…not professionally yet, but someday, I hope I will be.”

  “That is so great! I can’t wait to hear your music,” she replies with enthusiasm.

  I blush and smile. “Thanks.”

  “I’m a huge W3 fan, by the way.”

  “I’m getting that a lot,” I say, and we both chuckle. “They’re a lot more popular than I realized.”

  “Especially with old people, like myself,” the reporter jokes. She looks like she’s about thirty.

  “Oh stop it, you’re not old.”

  She giggles, extremely flattered. “Thank you!” Another major star walks up behind us, so she cuts off the interview. “Well, congratulations, you two, and I hope you have a great rest of the evening.”

  “Thanks, you too,” we both reply. Gio gives me an approving smile after we turn to walk down the rest of the way.

  “You’re a natural,” he whispers, and we exchange a grin. Photographers are snapping pictures of us like crazy, especially when we smile at each other. Being part of the Abate-Lowe entourage guarantees that pictures of us are going to be all over the news tonight and tomorrow.

  Things get a little clogged down the way, and I start to recognize the other celebs that are here for the premiere. I admire their designer clothes and perfect hair, proud that my own measures up and possibly stands out above the rest. My hair is in a voluminous half-up-half-down style and my eyeliner is, to use an incredibly annoying pop term, ‘on fleek.’

  Then I spot one person down the way that makes my heart stop.

  “Jacie,” I whisper, and I glance over at Gio. He seems concerned about seeing them, but then he reaches for my hand and squeezes it as if to say It’s going to be okay.

  Raven is with Jacie, wearing a strapless, sapphire-colored dress that has a long slit up the right side. For the first time, I notice her chest is bigger than mine, and I have to press back a snicker with my hand.

  Guess who has implants already?

  Jacie’s wearing a spectacular white-and-gold dress with a plunging neckline and a ruffled train down the back. She poses skillfully for the cameras, giving them a closed-lipped smile I’ve seen on my own face before. Raven’s lips are pursed, and she looks a bit irritated with the attention, yet she’s also posing like a model, and you can tell she’s determined to get in as many pictures as possible.

  My heart pounds harder the closer we get to them. If they notice me, what are they going to say? What am I going to say? Is this entire evening about to end in disaster for everyone?

  Once we’re all inside the theater, away from the reporters, Jacie stops to look in her clutch for something. When we inevitably pass by her, she looks up, gasps, and whispers unmistakably, “Madison.”

  I turn to look at her. She knew me immediately.

  Our big blue eyes lock for the first time in sixteen years, and all my brain functions quit on me. I can’t blink…I can’t think…and all I can say is, “Yes?”

  “May I speak with you for a moment?”

  Ho-ly shit, she wants to talk to me.

  My brain wakes up and makes a quick side note that her thick British accent is just as charming in real life as it is in her interviews. I turn to Gio, who reluctantly nods. He may be willing to let me talk to her, but do I even want to?

  One more glance at the beautiful, elegant, goddess-like woman who gave birth to me, and the answer is clear in my mind. “Yes,” I repeat, fighting the tremor in my body as she takes my arm and leads me off to the side.

  Jacie Redinger is touching me. Oh my God, she’s touching me.

  Once we’re alone, Jacie leans down and whispers, “Hi, Madison, I'm Jacie Redinger,” as if I don't already know her name and have it running through my head on repeat day and night. “I don’t suppose your father has told you about me.”

  “H-he has.” I gulp against the hoarseness in my throat. “I know who you are to me.”

  Relief washes over her face. I can see myself in her smile, and it thrills me and breaks my heart all at once. “Good,” she says. “Well, with…that in mind, I was wondering what your plans are for after the premiere.”

  Odd request, but I’m guessing an explanation is coming. “There’s…there’s an after-party we’re going to,” I tell her.

  “Which one?” I stutter out the location, and she nods. “Is there any chance I could meet you there and we could have a chat? I mean, a longer one, of course, and hopefully we could find a more private location.”

  She wants to have a ‘chat.’ Really? After seventeen years, she wants to ‘chat’? Plus, she has a history of kidnapping. I probably shouldn’t have even given her my location.

  Dammit…stupid, stupid, stupid!

  “Um…I dunno. I don’t think Dad would approve of that.”

  “I just want to explain myself and deliver my apology in person,” Jacie says, effectively tearing my heart in half. “If you don’t want to hear from me after this, I won’t trouble you any further.”

  My mind races, and I try to get a grip on my thoughts. I’m talking to Mother Dearest. My mother is standing in front of me right now, waiting to apologize and give me the answers I came here searching for. It’s what I wanted, right? This is it. This is my chance to hear her out and rip her a new one for abandoning me.

  On the other hand, what if she’s asking this so she can get me in private and kidnap me again? Or worse, involve
me in one of her secret crimes? I’m in way over my head here. I’m just now experiencing real life for the first time. I have no idea how to deal with a not-exactly criminal.

  Madison Daley, shut up and do what you came here for, my inner voice rebukes me. Self-doubt is going to get you nowhere. You came all the way from Kentucky to talk to this woman. Just do it while you’ve got the chance.

  “Well…all right,” I say, hoping this isn’t the biggest mistake of my life. I need to hear her apology. I need to know what her feelings have been all these years. Most of all, I need to purge the crazy emotions that swell up inside me at every mention of her name.

  “Wonderful,” she says. I hate how much I love the way she says that word. “I look forward to seeing you there.”

  “Same to you,” I reply. I walk with her as we return to Raven and Gio, who are waiting for us on opposite ends of the lobby.

  I can’t resist another glance in my identical twin’s direction. Raven also examines me underneath eyelashes that are just as long and dark as mine. I expected her to glare at me when she saw me with Gio, but instead she looks mildly intrigued. We study each other’s faces and figures, and it’s insanely hard to take my eyes off of the person who resembles me in nearly every conceivable way. I finally manage to break the gaze and turn to Gio as I approach him. After we’ve linked arms, I look back at her, and she’s no longer staring at me. She links arms with Jacie, and they continue on to their seats in the theater.

  I watch as they retreat and notice that Raven’s attitude is definitely different from mine. She carries herself like she’s God’s gift to the world, and you can tell she knows exactly how beautiful she is and uses it to her greatest advantage. Jacie has a similar carriage, but hers is tempered by the poise and grace that comes with middle age for some women. As much as I should hate both of them for different reasons—as much as I thought I hated them for the last couple of weeks—deep in my core, I don’t hate them. I’m also intrigued, and there’s a part of me that’s dying to know them.

  Gio also watches Jacie and Raven retreat, clenching his teeth and making a muscle stand out on his jaw that I didn’t even know was there. He swallows hard, and then he mutters something in Italian as he leads me to our seats. The tension between Gio and the Redingers just now would have been difficult to cut through with a cleaver. They seem to hate him just as much as he hates them. I hope my conversation with my mother isn’t the beginning of the end for us.

  Chapter 21

  July 5, 2015

  What Have I Done?

  I’m typing this on my phone from Gio’s limo just in case this is my last ever blog post. If Dad finds out I met Jacie Redinger alone, I’m never going to see the light of day again. We’re on the way to the after-party, and I’m supposed to meet her there for a “private chat.” If I thought I had nerve attacks before, nothing compares to this.

  I’m already having major buyer’s remorse about this meeting. What the hell am I going to say to her?

  “You abandoned me.”

  “You’re a horrible mother.”

  “You’re the worst human being on the planet.”

  “I hate you.”

  She probably already knows those things, hence the offer of an apology and an explanation. Maybe I should just hear her out without a full-on freak-out session. If I go apeshit on her first thing, she might clam up or break down in tears, either of which would be uncomfortable for me.

  Yep, yelling at her is out of the question, especially if I have a fangirl moment like I did earlier. I completely froze up in her presence. It was like meeting a deity. You can’t yell in a deity’s face, no matter what they do to you. I’m so humiliated that things turned out like that, but maybe it’s for the best. I wouldn’t have wanted to be the one to ruin Gio’s dad’s movie premiere.

  Shit…I think Gio’s getting suspicious.

  Ttyl if I make it through this,

  Mads

  ***

  I lock my phone and slip it into my clutch, and Gio leans over to me with a smile. “So, what did you think of your first red carpet experience, babe?”

  “It was incredible. I couldn’t have imagined it any better.”

  “Glad you had fun.” Then he lowers his voice to ask, “By the way…what did Jacie want?”

  “She, uh…she just wanted to tell me she liked my dress, that’s all.”

  Gio’s eyebrows shoot sky high. “Seventeen years, and all she can say is, ‘Nice dress?’” He scoffs and folds his arms as he leans back in his seat. “Typical Jacie Redinger.”

  I turn away and clamp a hand over my mouth to hide my silent laughter. I know how ridiculous that sounded, but I had to come up with something to tell him. Gio continues to fume in his seat, and I look at him, thinking about how adorable he is when he’s indignant like this. When he’s full-on angry, it’s terrifying, but this is just him being mad at a bitch.

  “You two are so presh,” Steph remarks, making us aware he’s watching us. He clearly has no idea what we were talking about, which is good.

  “Thanks,” I say. Then I tell Alfonzo, “The movie was excellent.”

  “Grazie!” Alfonzo says in his smooth, cultured voice. “I hear you caused quite a stir out on the red carpet, Madison.”

  “Really?” I wasn’t aware of a stir. People were surprised to see me, yes, but it’s not like I started a riot or anything.

  “Honey, you’re the talk of the town!” Steph is radiant with pleasure. “You made me look real good out there.”

  I look over at Gio, whose irritation has been replaced by pride. “Our Basket Baby is going to be L.A.’s new ‘it girl.’”

  I scoff. “Me? No way.” I shake my head, making my curls bounce. “There is no way I will ever be an ‘it girl.’”

  “I think you could be,” Steph says. “Stick with us, and we’ll get you to the top in no time.”

  “The top.” I’m starting to think that’s all anyone gives a damn about around here.

  ***

  The after-party is being held in a penthouse, and when we arrive, Jacie’s limo is waiting outside the apartment building. Alfonzo, Steph, and Gio pass by it to enter the building, but I make up an excuse about having a sick stomach so I can stand outside in the cool air. I pause for a moment outside the front door to collect my thoughts. This is it…the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life, in more ways than one. I’m having a conversation with my favorite actress of all time and my mother all at once. It’s making me feel like crumbling on the inside.

  Jacie pushes her car door open and approaches me on the sidewalk. She gives me a shy smile and opens the door for me, nodding me inside. We approach the woman at the front desk, and Jacie asks about stepping into a vacant apartment. The front desk lady takes us to one, unlocks it for us, and tells us to take all the time we need. We step inside, letting her close the door behind us.

  Jacie turns on a light and sits down awkwardly in front of the fireplace in the open living space. I sit down about four feet away from her. My heart is pounding so hard that I’m afraid she might see the movement of my dress. As we sit there in silence, she starts wringing her thin white hands in her lap the same way I do when I’m nervous. It’s clear she doesn’t know how to start this, so I guess it’s up to me. “So…” I start, not sure what to say. “You’re my mother.”

  “Yes, I am. Uh…I’d like to start off by saying that you look absolutely wonderful tonight. I can’t believe you’ve grown into such a lovely young woman.”

  I sigh and look off to the side. “Thanks.” Looks like my lie to Gio wasn’t too far from the truth.

  “I suppose I might as well go on with the apology.” Jacie clears her throat and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know how much Michael told you about our past together, but…when I was twenty-one, I made a decision I’ve regretted severely for the past seventeen years of my life. You know about the basket story, I assume.”

  “Yes, I’m fully aware of it,”
I grunt.

  “Well, I feel I should explain why I concealed my identity. At the time, I was just starting off in my career, and I was afraid if people knew I was giving up one of the Grim Weeper’s babies, I would end up in the tabloids. He was so popular back then that anything that happened to him had his face plastered all over the news. I wanted to make my decision privately, without any criticism or stigma attached. My reasoning for wanting one child was selfish.”

  Well…at least she admits that…

  “It was just an idea I’d had in my head my entire life. I thought I was a one-child woman, and I always would be. But the two months after giving you to your father were pure agony for me.”

  I look at her, surprised. It seems the monster has feelings. “They were?”

  She nods, still staring at her hands in her lap. “Yes. I tried to resist the feelings of regret, thinking they would pass, but they only grew stronger with time. Finally, I spoke with Michael and begged him to let me have you back, but by then he’d grown attached to you and wouldn’t hear of it. He got full custody, and he allowed me visitation rights, but I was foolish enough to ruin that too.”

  “I heard you tried to steal me away,” I say.

  “Yes…I was desperate. I was also not in my right mind because I had grown addicted to a pain medication they gave me at the hospital.”

  Drug addiction…that would definitely explain a few things. Never imagined both my parents would turn out to be drug addicts.

  “I pled insanity to Michael, and he graciously did not press charges. Then he found out about Raven, and I suddenly found myself in court about to lose the one baby I had left.”

  “He tried to get her back?”

  Jacie nods, swallowing hard. “He brought up the kidnap attempt, and I once again became overwhelmed with desperation. I told the judge about his drug-addicted past and made sure to point out his reckless behavior. It came down between a desperate new mother and a badly behaving rock star, and…well, to make a long story short, I kept custody of Raven and threatened to come after you too.”