Tracie Peterson - [Heirs of Montana 04]

by The Hope Within

  “I wanted to break the news to you in a more gentle way, Winona, but I’m going away. I’m going to New York City and you’re going to stay with Koko on the ranch until Aunt Dianne gets home from Kansas.”

  Winona rushed across the room and threw herself at Ardith’s feet. “Don’t go, Mama. I didn’t mean it. I don’t hate you. Please don’t go.”

  Ardith could see the red imprint where her hand had hit her precious daughter’s face. “I have to go, Winona. I’m no good to either one of us like this. I can’t offer you comfort about your papa because I have no comfort for myself. I can’t answer your questions, and I can’t bear to hear you crying at night because you miss him. Because I miss him too.”

  “I promise I won’t cry anymore, Mama. I’ll be a real good girl, just please don’t leave me.”

  “I can’t stay,” Ardith said, feeling as though her wind were being cut off. She struggled to draw a decent breath. “I … can’t.” I wish I could. She pushed Winona back and jumped to her feet. Straining to breathe, she rushed for the window and opened it.

  The cool air helped Ardith to regain her composure. She panted, longing to be at ease … at peace.

  “Mama, don’t go. I don’t want to live with Aunt Koko or Aunt Dianne. I love you. I want you, Mama,” Winona said as she wrapped herself around Ardith’s waist. She clung so tightly that Ardith thought it would be impossible to break the child’s hold.

  “Winona, look at me,” Ardith commanded.

  Winona raised her head, her expression hopeful. “Yes, Mama?”

  “I know you don’t understand. I can’t say that I understand either. But I have to go away. I can’t stay. You have to be brave and strong about this. I have to go away so that I can get better. Maybe when I’m feeling less angry, I’ll send for you and you can live with me in New York. Would you like that?”

  Winona pushed away, the look of betrayal on her face more painful to Ardith than her looks of sorrow. “No. I wouldn’t like that. I want to stay here. I want to live with you here.”

  “I’m sorry, Winona. I can’t.”

  The child looked as though she might say something more; instead she turned and fled. Ardith wanted to go after her, but in truth, she was glad to finally be left alone. Ardith rubbed her temples.

  “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be like Dianne? She’s such a good mother. She has so much love to give. Why can’t I give love? Why must I only cause pain?”

  “You worry too much,” Mara told Zane as they walked. Autumn leaves fell into the creek and rushed away in the rippling icy water. Overhead, a pale blue sky peeked out from webs of thinly spun clouds. Zane knew it signaled a temporary change in the weather, while the woman at his side signaled a much more permanent change.

  Mara smiled at him, and the look nearly did him in. She was so pretty in her green dress. Zane couldn’t imagine why such a charming and youthful woman would want to saddle herself with an older man. Yet for weeks now they’d been discussing the situation, and she refused to hear his reasoning.

  “I worry because it’s reasonable to do so.”

  “Worry is a sin,” Mara stated flatly. “Charity said it’s like saying that God can’t take care of a matter. Well, I’m not going to sin over this, and I’m sure not going to take back what I said. I meant every word.”

  He swallowed hard. She made him feel like a schoolboy again. “You’re awfully young to even understand the full meaning of what you said.”

  She stopped and put her hands on her hips. “Zane Chadwick, I’m old enough to know my heart, and my heart says that it loves you.”

  “But think of the consequences. I’m forty years old. If we had a family, I’d probably be dead and buried before they were raised.”

  “And if that happened,” Mara began, “then I would have to believe that the good Lord had some further plan for us. But I don’t think that would happen. You’re too ornery and stubborn to die.”

  Zane laughed at the way her expression seemed to dare him to contradict her. “I wouldn’t talk if I were you. You have the queen’s share of stubbornness. Most women would have walked away from me long ago.”

  “Most women don’t possess the same love for you,” she said softly. “And love conquers all. All problems, all difficulties … all sorrows.”

  He realized his mind was made up. It was senseless to fight her and his own heart. “We’d have to live in Butte or Anaconda,” he said, knowing that it was the same as a proposal. “Marcus has been pestering me to move.”

  Mara smiled, and the look on her face was one of such selfsatisfaction that Zane realized he’d been caught—roped and tied and soon to be branded. “I’ll live with you anywhere so long as there’s a ring on my finger.”

  “Butte is not a pretty town, and the air is something awful. The mining makes it bad. I can’t say that there’s much in the way of entertainments or anything that would appeal to a lady.” He shook his head as the reality of it all sunk in. He was going to marry this woman. Marry her and perhaps even start a family. “I don’t intend to stay there forever, but for now, I have business there.”

  “Then I’ll have business there as well.”

  They continued walking as Zane casually discussed the rest of their life. “I don’t intend to leave the territory. I like it here.”

  “Suits me fine.”

  “I like freighting too, and it takes me away sometimes. Could be I’d be gone for weeks at a time.”

  “But you’d come home to me,” Mara said, looping her arm through his.

  Her touch made him tremble, but he kept moving and talking. They were standing at the back porch by the time he finally faced her and asked, “Are you sure about this?”

  She laughed. “I’ve been sure ever since you showed up on my doorstep months back. Sure enough to start sewing my wedding dress. Sure enough to memorize all your favorite dishes and practice cooking them.”

  Zane drew her into his arms. She came willingly and fit his body perfectly. He wondered if she could feel the pounding of his heart as she put her hand upon his chest. “I just want you to be sure about this. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly.

  “You won’t hurt me.” She stretched upward and Zane met her lips with his.

  “What’s the meaning of this?”

  They both jumped back at the sound of Joshua’s voice. Laughing, Mara went to her brother. “We’ve just agreed to marry. I want you to be the first to know.”

  Joshua looked past his sister to Zane. For a second, Zane actually wanted to run. Surely Joshua would think the age difference too great. Why hadn’t he thought to talk to her brother and get him to convince her that he was too old for her?

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Joshua said slowly.

  “I suppose I should have come to talk to you, since your pa wouldn’t hear any of us speak on the matter,” Zane offered.

  “I don’t have a problem with you marrying my sister,” Joshua replied. “It’s just a matter of the timing. Right now I really need Mara’s help with something else.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “With me,” Elsa said, coming from the corner of the house.

  “Elsa!” Mara ran to her, and Zane watched as the sisters embraced.

  He looked back to Joshua. “What’s going on?”

  “I managed to slip onto the ranch when everyone was gone driving the cattle to winter range. I had her come with not much more than the clothes on her back. I figured, at least I hoped, she could stay here for a spell.”

  “But your pa is sure to come looking here first thing.”

  “Pa won’t be back for at least a week,” Elsa announced. “We’ve got a little time to figure out what’s to be done.”

  “Probably not near enough time,” Zane muttered. He could only imagine Chester Lawrence and his boys riding in, shooting first and asking questions later. “I think we’ve got some real trouble here.” He looked at Elsa and then Mara. The look on Mara’s face mad
e him realize without a doubt that she wasn’t about to let her sister go back to their father’s care. Zane was about to be caught up in much more than he’d asked for.

  “And to think, up until this morning I was a happy bachelor,” he muttered.

  Charity was the last person Ardith wanted to see. She knew that Winona had no doubt gone and told the old woman all about the fight. And now Charity had come to chastise Ardith and demand she not go … at least that was what Ardith figured.

  “She’s really hurting, Ardith. You can’t just leave her like this.”

  Ardith was taken aback for a moment. Maybe Charity realized it would be futile to suggest Ardith not go. Maybe she’d only come to talk Ardith into taking Winona with her to New York City.

  “I can’t take her with me. Christopher … Mr. Stromgren said it would be impossible to give her a decent life at first. I’ll be doing a great many performances, some of them quite late into the evening. I’ll need to learn new music and to have hours alone for practice. Then he also mentioned dress fittings and shopping for the right things to make my appearance fit the image he desires.”

  “If your heart is set on making this choice,” Charity began, “I know I can’t change your mind. I just can’t bear for you to go off like this. At least wait for Dianne to return home.”

  “That won’t happen until spring, and from her letters we both know it’s possible that it might never happen. Cole may change his mind and refuse to return to Montana. And then what? If I don’t go soon, I’ll lose my chance to ever do this. I’ve already refused one train ticket. I can’t refuse this second chance.”

  “But, Ardith, think about what this will do to Winona. She’s only a little girl, just ten years old. She’ll never be able to endure the loss.”

  “I endured it.” Ardith walked to the window, refusing to let Charity see her cry. The memory of that fateful day when she fell into the river and was swept away from her family was always painful. “I was the same age when I nearly drowned.”

  “I remember it well,” Charity told her. “I was one of the folks to comfort your family.”

  Ardith wiped her eyes with a quick swipe of her cuff and turned. “Then you shouldn’t have any trouble understanding what I’m about to say. I lost everyone. There was no one to comfort me … no one familiar to me. Winona won’t lose everyone. She’ll have you and Ben and her cousins and her aunt and uncle. She’ll have friends. People who care about her.”

  “But she won’t have the one who is most important to her. She won’t have you.”

  Ardith shook her head. “She hasn’t had me for years. Not since Levi died. I might have been here physically, but I certainly haven’t been here for her in any other manner. You know that’s Charity came to Ardith and embraced her. “Oh, my poor darling. Levi wouldn’t want you to grieve so much. He wouldn’t want you to hurt like this.” true. Why would she care if I went away?”

  “I suppose because she loves you.”

  “She won’t for long. Not if I stay. If I don’t go, Charity,” Ardith said sadly, “I know I’ll hurt her more in staying.”

  Ardith bristled and pushed her away. “Then he shouldn’t have died. He shouldn’t have lost his way in the fire and left us here alone.”

  Charity frowned. “And this is to be your final answer? You won’t stay until spring?”

  “I can’t stay. I’d prefer to leave Winona with Dianne. I know Lia and the boys would be a comfort to her. She’s pined around here for them since they went to Kansas. But I can’t force them home.”

  “Then perhaps you should pray them here,” Charity said, straightening. “Because that’s what I intend to do.”

  “You go right ahead. God hasn’t listened to me for years. I don’t imagine He’ll start up now.”

  Charity went to the door. “I don’t imagine He will either.”

  Ardith was surprised by the old woman’s words, and her expression must have shown as much, for Charity only smiled and opened the door, adding, “You have to talk to Him first in order for Him to hear.”

  CHAPTER 12

  “HE WANTS ELSA TO MARRY HERBERT DENIG,” JOSHUA told Zane and Mara as they gathered around the kitchen table.

  “Isn’t he rather old?” Mara asked.

  Zane turned to Mara. “He’s the rancher to the north of your father’s place, right?”

  She nodded, but it was Joshua who continued the conversation. “He took the land over from his brother. Father was furious when he wasn’t allowed to buy it upon Jim Denig’s death, but the brothers were co-owners of the homestead. After Father realized he couldn’t talk Herbert Denig out of the property, he settled down to making friends with the old man. At least as much of a friend as Father ever made with any man.

  “Apparently they’ve concocted a plan over the years, and Elsa is the prize to be had.”

  “But I won’t be had,” Elsa stated clearly, crossing her arms against her chest. “I won’t marry Herbert Denig. He’s old enough to be my father.”

  Mara sent a quick grin toward Zane, causing him to shift uncomfortably. More than once he’d told Mara he was old enough to be her father, but the girl refused to listen to reason. Now she seemed to find the entire matter an amusing contrast.

  “I don’t blame you for not wanting to marry an old man, Miss Lawrence,” Zane began, “but this will be the first place your father comes looking. I suggest we work quickly to find you another place of lodging if you’re to elude marriage.”

  “I am troubled that we can’t just reach some sort of comfortable agreement with Father,” Mara admitted. “I don’t want to further his grief or anger.”

  “Father’s anger won’t be abated by anything we do or don’t do,” Elsa said, shaking her head. “He’s been mean-tempered all his life, but even more so since Mother’s death. I suppose he and Portia deserved each other. At least I know they seemed to fuel each other’s bad moods.”

  “But Mr. Chadwick is right,” Joshua interjected. “Father will come here first. We need to figure out a plan to keep you safe. You aren’t yet twenty-one, and I don’t know how strict the law will see things when Father demands you return to the ranch.”

  “I don’t care how strict the law is—I won’t go back!”

  Zane blew out a heavy breath. The Lawrence family had been nothing but trouble to him and his family. At least this was a noble cause … saving a damsel in distress. And the idea of marrying Mara, although not without its concerns, was a pleasurable trouble. But Mr. Lawrence wasn’t going to take kindly to another Chadwick-Selby interference. Zane worried about the retribution that might be heaped on his family.

  “Well, we have a little time. Not much, but hopefully enough to figure out what we can do,” Zane said, pushing back from the table. “Why don’t you three talk it over and see what comes to mind. Maybe we can make some decisions after supper.”

  He walked from the house, heading out across the porch and down the stairs. Much to his surprise he found Koko’s brother coming up the dirt road, riding a brown and cream-colored Indian pony. It was a day for surprises.

  “George,” Zane greeted, “what brings you to town?”

  “Winter’s coming on, and we figured to get supplies and mail at least one more time. Thought I’d talk to Cole and see about helping him get moved out to the ranch. Is he around?” He slid from the horse and extended his hand.

  Zane responded with a hearty handshake. “Didn’t you hear? Cole has decided to stay in Kansas through the spring. His father’s death left the farm without a caretaker, and his mother was beside herself. Or to hear Dianne tell it, her mother-in-law was quite demanding that Cole take over his father’s place on the farm and forced them all to remain in Kansas.”

  “That couldn’t have set well.”

  Zane shook his head. “No, it hasn’t. Dianne is grief-stricken, her letters full of sadness and longing. I wish I could figure out a way to help her, but like Morgan said, it’s probably best we stay out of it.”


  George seemed to consider this a moment. He bowed his head and toed the dirt with his boot. “I’m sorry to hear it. I know this must hurt Dianne.”

  Zane didn’t know what to say. He knew that George had been in love with Dianne since they’d first met. The man had always been a gentleman about the situation, however. Zane couldn’t fault him for that. His love for Dianne was more an unspoken thing—a loving admiration for something that he knew could never be his.

  “She’s hurting,” Zane said, “but she’s strong. She’ll figure her way through it and take matters in hand. I’ve yet to see her refuse to overcome her circumstances.”

  George looked up with a smile. “Not Dianne.”

  “So I guess you’ll be spending the winter out there on your own. Will that bode well for Koko and the children?”

  George chuckled. “They’re hardly children anymore. Jamie will be twenty next year, and he can very nearly outwork me. I swear that boy has the strength of ten men. He knows what he wants and goes after it.”

  “And what is it that he wants?”

  “The ranch restored. His father’s dream renewed.”

  “I can well understand that. It hardly seems fair that the laws are against him inheriting his father’s place.”

  “It’s something that’s out of his control—especially now. The ranch is clearly in Cole and Dianne’s hands. There’s nothing Jamie or Susannah can do about that.”

  “Are they bitter about it?” Zane questioned. He’d seen those with Indian heritage done wrong so many times. The memories of his days in the army reminded him of the injustice he’d witnessed. Even their half-breed scouts were treated poorly. There was absolutely no respect for a man of Indian blood.

  George shrugged and tied the horse to a hitching rail. “I don’t think bitter is the best word. I think they regret the loss. I know they live only to bring their father’s name honor, but no one wants the honor of a Blackfoot.”