The Children of Lovely Lane

by Nadine Dorries

  Joe, exhausted, now slept. ‘Lily,’ he had gasped when he saw her. ‘Lily, are you all right?’

  Lily’s eyes had filled with tears. ‘Me all right? You’re the one who’s poorly, not me.’

  Joe smiled. ‘I’m sorry, Lily.’

  ‘Joe, it’s not your fault. Why are you saying sorry? You can’t help it if you’re sick.’

  He lifted his un-splinted hand and, taking the lock of her hair that had fallen on to the pillow, grasped it and began to twirl it round in his fingers. Lily smiled and stroked the side of his face. She knew what would happen next. Within seconds, worn out from panic and stress, he fell fast asleep.

  As she sat by his side, she slipped her hands through the metal bars of the white cot and held on to his limp hand. She focused on keeping herself together, praying, wondering if her mother even knew where Joe was, if Katie had been fed and where she would be sleeping.

  There was something the doctor hadn’t told her, she was sure of it. He had looked more concerned than he had the last time. She went over and over his words in her mind as she listened to every single breath Joe took. His words felt alien. Like he’d been talking to her about someone else’s brother and not little Joe. Her head was swimming as her mind fought against the possibility that Joe could have to go through the rest of his life like this. It seemed that he was getting worse as he got older.

  Later, Lily sat there with an empty cup and saucer in her hand and looked out over the city from the large window in Joe’s cubicle. She watched the street lights flicker off in the offices and shops and down in the dock buildings and other lights coming on in the houses. She watched people scurrying home, heads bent, long figures in dark coats carrying bags and umbrellas, impatient to be indoors and out of the rain that had drizzled the whole day long.

  Ten minutes later, Dr Mackintosh popped his head around the cubicle door to check on Joe. He was carrying a tray, which he laid down on the bedside locker.

  ‘For you,’ he said. ‘The orderly in the kitchen told me to bring it in for you.’

  Lily could smell the food and her mouth watered in response. ‘Do you always do that?’ she asked, nodding towards the tray.

  ‘Well, not exactly, not me personally, no, but we do like to look after our visitors when patients are particularly poorly. Especially the pretty ones.’

  He wanted to bite his tongue off. How could he be so crass, so stupid? He sounded pathetic. Like he was trying to emulate the flirting of Dr Teddy Davenport with Nurse Makebee. But he had failed badly.

  Lily blushed. No one in her entire life had ever called her pretty. She had no idea how to respond. She also doubted that he had ever carried a plate of shepherd’s pie and a pot of tea in to a visitor before. She smiled the first proper smile since she’d arrived at the hospital.

  Dr Mackintosh decided to revert to a position of professionalism, to save face. Later, he would blame his indiscretion on the darkness of the cubicle, the atmosphere created by the night-light and the drama of the situation.

  ‘I just want to check Joe’s breathing and put some more of the drug into his drip,’ he said as he placed the ends of the stethoscope into his ears. ‘You go ahead and eat. The day staff are handing over to the night staff and, if I’m not mistaken, one of Joe’s favourite nurses is on duty tonight.’

  Lily smiled again. She stood up and helped the doctor lift up Joe’s gown. ‘Is he going to be OK?’ she asked anxiously.

  ‘He’s sleeping peacefully and that’s the best thing we can ask for.’ They both had their heads bent over Joe in the bed and her hair fell across his hand as he gently turned Joe on to his side so that he could listen to his back. ‘I saw your boyfriend leaving the ward. Will he be back?’ He tried to sound as though he was distracted and merely being polite. But Lily’s reply was like music to his ears.

  ‘Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. That’s Lockie, I’ve known him since I was a kid. He’s been a good friend to me over the years and I see him often in work.’

  His heart danced at the news. Lockie had been the only man to come near her in her hour of need. If there was a boyfriend, he would have been there, he was sure of it. So Lily was not attached to anyone. His spirits soared.

  Anthony Mackintosh was well aware that he had fallen into a pattern of behaviour that would turn him into a lonely old man or an alcoholic, whichever came first. His shifts began early and could last until ten o’clock at night, at which point he would call in to the pub and meet whoever happened to be in there from the doctors’ residence. It had recently occurred to him that other doctors came and went over time but he was still there, unmarried and unchanged. As he downed his pints, he felt as though the world was moving on around him. At the doctors’ dance last year he had even offered to cover casualty so that all the younger doctors could go and have a good time. The way things were looking, he would never have a wife or children. The fear of a permanently empty, lonely life had sharpened his thoughts and opened his eyes, and there was Lily. She was the first female to catch his attention and make him look twice, the first to affect the rate of his pulse just from looking at her.

  ‘He’s doing fine,’ he said as he stood upright. ‘Obviously, I can still hear a slight wheeze, but I’m not sure this little fella will ever be free from that altogether. Otherwise, though, I would say he’s doing OK.’

  ‘That’s such a relief to hear. Will he be all right if I leave and go home to see to my sister, Katie? Will they let me back in once I’ve left?’

  Dr Mackintosh shook his head. ‘I’m afraid that my luck won’t last until tomorrow. I had to be very forceful indeed with the assistant matron to let you stay this long. They call her the Bone Grinder, you know, but don’t repeat that.’

  Lily almost giggled.

  ‘This will be it, I’m afraid, until visiting on Sunday. But the nurse on duty tonight is fantastic and I know she dotes on this little chappie here. I’m knocking off soon, so why don’t you let me run you home, then you can see to your sister.’

  Lily felt swamped with shame. He was a lovely man, but how could she possibly let him see the conditions she lived in; and not just her but Katie and Joe too. It was impossible. Her chest tightened and she felt tears of self-pity prickle at her eyes. He was looking at her with the most gentle expression she had ever seen on anyone’s face.

  He instantly knew what was wrong.

  ‘Lily, I know where Clare Cottages are. I’ve been in Liverpool for some time now. It’s not as if you’re far from the hospital. You are exhausted, let me give you a lift, please. But eat this food first or the orderly will have my guts for garters. I’ll meet you opposite the Lovely Lane entrance in half an hour.’ And without another word, he was gone.

  It was as if someone had removed the plug at the bottom of a well. The tears she never allowed to reach the surface began to pour out and once they’d started, they would not stop. She couldn’t touch the food he had brought for her. Sitting in the chair, she placed her hands over her face and wept.

  Joe’s little hand brushed against her knee. ‘Lily, what’s wrong?’ he croaked.

  Wiping her eyes, Lily smiled and jumped up. ‘For goodness’ sake, would you look at the state of me! Nothing, Joe. Do you want a drink?’

  Joe nodded his head and Lily reached up for the feeding cup on the locker. Ten minutes later he was sound asleep once again. Lily felt torn and could barely bring herself to leave his side. The night nurse, the one Joe called Nurse Dana, came towards her.

  ‘Hello, are you off? Look at you, you’ve been crying, haven’t you?’ Dana reached out and put her arm around Lily’s shoulders. ‘Look, do you know what, I shouldn’t say this because I shouldn’t really have favourites, but Joe is definitely mine. I am very fond of him, I am, and if you’re worried leaving him here with me, don’t be. I will look after him as though he were my own.’

  Lily believed her. Dana’s concern and fondness for Joe were plain to see.

  Lily looked down at Joe and gave him one last
brief kiss on his soft warm cheek and downy hair. ‘Night-night, little fella, I’ll be back soon,’ she said. And as a gasp of tears grabbed her and threatened to prevent her from leaving, she fled the cubicle.

  *

  Minutes later, for the first time in her life, Lily stepped into the front seat of a car. It smelt of leather and wood and something strangely medicinal. She had never sat so close to a man before and the rawness of the male smell was intoxicating.

  ‘Right, let us go and rescue that sister of yours, shall we?’ In the light of the street lamp, he saw the tears welling up in her eyes again. ‘Now, now,’ he said. ‘Don’t cry. Katie will be looking to you for reassurance, to know that everything is all right and that Joe is going to be fine. If we turn up and you’re crying, that’s not going to create a very good impression, is it?’

  As they walked up the concrete steps of Clare Cottages, Lily noticed for the first time how strong the smell of urine was. She was embarrassed by the piles of dog and human waste on the pavement and the stairs, and the rubbish clustered in piles along the landing, where the kids had kicked it. They approached Mrs McGuffy’s house and Lily could smell Dettol. Mrs McGuffy had obviously already washed down the landing outside her door, as she did every night.

  The front door was open and, with the briefest of taps on it, as was the way, Lily walked straight in. Anthony hovered by the threshold.

  Lily looked around at the scrubbed children sitting in a row, clean and tidy. The house was spotless. Mrs McGuffy was kneeling on the floor, leaning over a tin tub in front of the fire, bathing the baby in the last of the water.

  ‘Your Katie’s not here, love,’ she said to Lily as she looked up. ‘How’s little Joe, are they keeping him in? God, he was in a bad way after you left, Lily. Near scared me to death, he did. He’s in the best place, in St Angelus. I thought he was dead.’

  Mrs McGuffy was as matter-of-fact as any woman in the cottages. Prickles of fear ran across Lily’s skin and she almost shivered. She couldn’t even let herself imagine what would have happened if Sister Therese and Mrs McGuffy hadn’t got to Joe when they did.

  ‘He’s asleep now. They gave him the same injection as last time and it worked. He’s so tired. I don’t think he’s slept properly for nights, so hopefully he’ll sleep through tonight now he’s breathing better. They’ll probably keep him in for a little while, just to make sure.’

  ‘Well, ’tis the best place for him and that’s a fact. Sister Therese has taken Katie over to sleep at St Chad’s and she said there’s a bed over there tonight for you too. Katie loves it in the convent, I think she’s going to take the veil, that one, when she’s older. The nuns are so kind to her.’

  Lily was shocked. Mrs McGuffy had seen something that was right under her nose but had never occurred to her. Katie did love going to the convent. Lily had been fighting to keep her out and yet she had never even thought that Katie might have wanted to be over there, in the home with the other kids, warm and fed.

  ‘I suppose I can’t blame her,’ she said. ‘Compared to our house, it must seem like heaven over there.’

  Mrs McGuffy got to her feet and, picking up a very grey but clean towel, swept the baby out of the bath and wrapped him into it. She plonked him on to the lap of one of her daughters, who began to rub him dry. The children were quiet. Reading, well behaved.

  Lily couldn’t help but comment. ‘Your children, they aren’t noisy, they’re always good and quiet. I never hear them shouting.’

  ‘Oh, they do,’ said Mrs McGuffy. She took a cigarette from behind her ear, bent over, pressed it on to one of the hot coals on the fire, put it to her mouth and puffed hard. ‘They run around the yard like the rest of them. But each one of them knows what’s expected of them, Lily, so they don’t mess me about. It’s bath time now. Everyone has a job and they know what their job is, don’t you, kids?’

  Two of the children looked up and said, ‘Yes, Mam.’

  A cough from the front door made Mrs McGuffy jump. Lily had almost forgotten that she’d left Dr Mackintosh standing on the landing. ‘Jesus to Mary, who is that at the door? Is that you, Seamus?’

  ‘No, er, it’s one of the doctors from the hospital. He brought me home.’

  ‘Well, God love us and save us, a doctor at me own front door and I don’t even need one. Is that not just my luck. Let me see him now.’

  Before Lily could say another word, Mrs McGuffy was at the front door. Lily felt like she wanted to die.

  Anthony regretted coughing as he saw the toothless Mrs McGuffy sweeping towards him. A smell of cooked cabbage and potatoes wafted over as she walked past the range.

  ‘Well, hello, Doctor. That was very kind of you to bring the girl home. Katie is in the home in St Chad’s, and the mother’s down the pub, been there all day.’ She whispered this, so that Lily didn’t hear. She didn’t mention that she knew all about families with drink problems. Her sister-in-law back in Mayo had a husband who was barely out of the pub himself.

  ‘Bye, kids,’ said Lily. She turned and followed Mrs McGuffy to the front door. Her face was scarlet as she wondered what the doctor in shining armour would make of her neighbour.

  ‘I’ll take Lily over to St Chad’s then,’ he said. ‘She’s had a rough day today.’

  ‘Thanks for all you did, Mrs McGuffy,’ said Lily as she moved quickly along the landing.

  Anthony raised his hat and followed her.

  When they were back in the car, he placed his hand on the ignition key then turned to look at Lily. His face glowed orange in the sulphur street light, but the rest of him was shrouded in shadow. ‘I don’t want you to be embarrassed,’ he said. ‘As a doctor, I have seen people from every walk of life come through the casualty doors, from lords and ladies to street children. Everyone is the same, Lily. I worked in Glasgow and there are plenty of Clare Cottages there. You aren’t so special here.’

  He smiled and turned the key. The engine fired into life.

  Lily couldn’t help herself, she smiled back. His physical proximity made her heart race and her breath come faster.

  ‘To St Chad’s,’ said Dr Mackintosh as he checked his side mirror and swung his car around.

  He dropped her off at the gate. They both saw the porch light come on and behind the stained glass on either side of the door Lily recognized the outline of Sister Therese.

  ‘I’ll go now,’ said Anthony as he opened the car door for her. ‘It’s late. Please make sure you have something to eat, Lily, before you fall asleep. Promise me.’

  She looked up at him and was so filled with gratitude, she could not find the words to thank him.

  ‘I know this probably isn’t the right time to ask, but when things settle down a little, could I take you out for lunch, or supper even? Somewhere nice? I think you deserve it.’

  Lily nodded. She had no idea what to say. She had no idea what tomorrow would hold, never mind in a few weeks.

  *

  Anthony was back in the car and down the road before Sister Therese reached Lily. He decided to call in to the Grapes and have a quick beer with his colleagues, just as he’d done almost every night of the past five years. He walked in and immediately saw Oliver Gaskell at the bar; as was often the case, an adoring young nurse was standing next to him. Anthony tried to place her. Ah yes, the new probationer on men’s medical, he thought. Nurse Moran. Irish and pretty, but terrified of her own shadow. Someone needed to warn her. The last probationer who’d fallen under Oliver Gaskell’s spell was still nursing her broken heart.

  Oliver had seen him come in and had waved to him, but Anthony decided not to disturb them. Over on the bench in the corner sat Teddy Davenport with the new nurse from casualty, Nurse Makebee. She was sitting on Teddy’s knee. Seeing this, Anthony raised an eyebrow. He could have sworn that Teddy was about to go on holiday with Nurse Dana Brogan, whom he’d just left on night duty on the children’s ward. I’m getting old, he thought; it must be couples’ night. He then spotted one of the juni
or housemen at the bar. At last, a man alone.

  ‘Drink?’ the houseman mouthed.

  Anthony was about to shout ‘A pint, please,’ but at the last minute he changed his mind. He wanted to go back to the ward, to check on Joe. He doubted he would sleep tonight if he didn’t. ‘I’m just going to check on one of the kids on ward four. Get me a pint on the next round. I’ll be back in half an hour.’

  A couple of hours later, when the bell for last orders rang out, Teddy Davenport, with one arm slung around Nurse Makebee, asked the houseman, ‘Who does that full pint belong to? Are you sickening for something?’

  ‘No, not me, it was Mackintosh. He said he would be back in half an hour, but no sign of him.’

  ‘Well, waste not, want not.’ Teddy laughed a little too loudly as he picked up the pint and kept drinking until it was finished.

  ‘What an impressive man you are,’ purred Nurse Makebee.

  Teddy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Have you ever been to the Lake District?’

  29

  Dr Mackintosh saw the headlights of the old Austin as it pulled in through the hospital gates and immediately recognized it as belonging to Dr Gaskell. It came to a halt directly opposite the steps to the main entrance. Anthony broke into a sprint and came alongside it just as Dr Gaskell began slowly extracting himself from the driver’s seat. He was stiffer and slower of late and getting in and out of his car following a long drive was something of an ordeal these days.

  ‘Thank you so much for coming back tonight,’ Anthony gasped, almost out of breath after his sprint from the back entrance. ‘The little boy, Joe Lancashire, is really worrying me. But even so, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight. I thought you’d go home to bed first.’