Destination: Love (The Sandera, Texas Series)

by Hollister, Raine

  Josie almost choked on her drink, and she coughed discretely, stealing another glance at Sarah. The woman was now moving exuberantly to a salsa. Evidently, there were hidden depths to Sarah.

  “Come on, let’s dance.” Dylan stood up and held out his hand to Consuelo.

  Josie watched them walk onto the dance floor. Now that she didn’t have Michael to shower her attention on, she looked for something else to focus on so she wouldn’t be tempted to stare at Logan.

  Recalling what had happened between them at his home and all the fun they’d just had, she didn’t know what to say to him. If she ignored him, the others would wonder why, and she was too tightly wound up to carry on a conversation.

  She spent the next hour dancing with anyone who asked her.

  Once, when Josie thought Logan wasn’t looking, she studied his chiseled face, his mane of thick dark hair, his well-shaped mouth, and felt all warm inside. Before she could look away, he pinned her with his golden gaze. His eyes had been so persuasive, had made her forget everything.

  When he got up to dance with Consuelo, she couldn’t help but stare at his snug jeans, remembering how strong his thighs had felt against hers.

  A moment later, Ben took Michael’s empty seat and pushed the chair closer to Josie. She knew he was going to hassle her again about going out with him. She eyed him critically, her lips tight. Then she decided to ignore him.

  Josie watched Logan and Consuelo dance to a ballad. Dark stubble shadowed his face, and his Stetson, black with its brim turned down slightly, made him look much too dangerous, reminding her of an outlaw. She sighed, resisting the urge to go out on the dance floor and tap Consuelo on the shoulder so she could take Consuelo’s place in Logan’s arms. His white western shirt outlined his broad chest. Josie knew firsthand what those strong arms and shoulders were capable of doing.

  From the dance floor, his eyes sought and found hers, and for the span of a heartbeat Josie felt her defenses slipping away.

  Not for the first time, Josie wished she could be more like Consuelo, who felt so comfortable around men. Had Josie been that lucky, she would’ve told Logan the day she’d been in his home that she wasn’t afraid of him, only of how he made her feel. She wanted so much to believe that there could be a happy ending for her.

  Ben asked her to dance again, and this time she accepted.

  Logan walked over to the bar for a beer. He had purposely stayed away from Josie. Her doe-sad eyes, creamy skin, and that beautiful mouth he ached to kiss were all getting to be too much for him. He’d thought his heart was so numb that nothing could ever bring it back to life. If he didn’t feel, he wouldn’t hurt.

  If he’d believed in signs, he would have hazarded a guess that God had dropped her into his life to teach him a lesson.

  As he lifted the beer to his lips, he could’ve sworn he heard a voice whisper; no one has a right to sit on the sidelines and let life pass him by.

  Maybe not, he thought, but soon he wouldn’t have to worry about it one way or another. Josie would be gone.

  Meanwhile, his internal battle raged on—wanting her gone, and wanting her in his bed.

  He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to face Maya Rivera. Damn, he’d been hiding from her all night, and now she’d found him daydreaming like a lovesick calf.

  “Logan, I haven’t seen you for days. How have you been?” She slurred her words—too much wine.

  “Fine, Maya,” he said, only half-listening to her because his mind was on the blur of emerald fabric that had just sped by. His glance followed Josie around the dance floor. To see Josie laugh was a sight to behold. But to see her dancing, moving her delectable body to the music, was like looking at a masterpiece. His mind wandered to his TV set. He hadn’t been able to turn it on without remembering how good she’d felt against him, how he’d ruined what might’ve been one of the best days of his life.

  “Logan?”

  “Uh. . .yeah, Maya?”

  “I said the band sounds great, doesn’t it?”

  He watched Ben escort Josie back to her chair.

  “Yeah, it does. Excuse me, I have to go.”

  He felt a twinge of conscience for walking away, but once Maya got hold of someone, only a crowbar could pry her loose.

  By the time he reached the table, a slow ballad began to play. He set his beer down on the table and went over to stand in front of Josie. “Care to dance?”

  She smiled politely and let him lead her out onto the floor.

  Josie tried to relax as he took her in his arms, but it was no use. She was stiff as a board. Nervousness had a way of doing that to her. He had probably asked her to dance as a favor to Consuelo—a duty dance. After all, hadn’t he waited until the night was almost over to ask her?

  He looked down at her. “Looks like you cleaned up nicely.”

  Nicely? She wondered what he had told Consuelo when he’d danced with her?

  She looked everywhere but at him. “Yes, I was quite a mess. I’ll never look at another tortilla without thinking of this day.”

  He chuckled, and his hand stroked her back lightly. To Josie the caress felt erotic, and her voice was a little unsteady as she said, “the prize Diego awarded was certainly interesting.”

  She could have bitten her tongue. Bringing up the all-expense-paid weekend trip for two sounded a little suggestive.

  His cheek brushed her temple as it nestled in her hair. “Yes. It was just as well we didn’t win. Right?”

  Josie closed her eyes and inhaled his heady aftershave. “I expected a cheaper award,” she said, skirting his real question.

  “Diego can afford it, and it gives him a chance to do something nice for the people he likes.”

  Josie smiled. “Well, Sophia and Fernando are no doubt happy they won by default.”

  His husky laughter vibrated through her chest, causing her heart to skip a beat. Her heartbeat became even more irregular a second later, when he leaned down and whispered, “You look awfully pretty tonight, Josie.”

  “Thank you,” she replied, her voice slightly breathless.

  His arm tightened around her waist, and he drew her closer. As they swayed to the slow tempo of the music, everything faded into the background—other people’s voices, the clinking of glasses—so that she was only aware of his arms around her and her undisguised longing.

  They swayed and gazed into each other’s eyes, neither of them aware that the music had ended. Applause brought them back to reality.

  Josie jerked to a stop, and felt her face flush from embarrassment. She kept her gaze on the floor as Logan walked her back to their table. She couldn’t bear it if people teased her tonight.

  But no one said anything—except Ben.

  “Hey, Josie, can I get you some punch?”

  “No thanks, Ben. I’d better go check on Michael.”

  Josie picked up her purse and made her way toward Elena’s home, stopping now and then to speak to someone. When she reached the house, Elena welcomed her.

  “Josie. Come on in.”

  Josie smiled. “Hello, Elena. I thought you’d be outside dancing.”

  “Elena returned the smile.” I’m feeling too tired to keep up with you young people. Besides, I enjoy visiting with the children.”

  Now that Josie knew Elena had been Stevie’s grandmother, she felt awkward in her presence. She couldn’t help wondering if Elena meant she enjoyed visiting with all the children, or only the one who looked so much like her grandson. Not for the first time, Josie wondered if she’d done the right thing by bringing Michael here. Then just as quickly, she set aside any guilt. Maybe Elena was lonely. Besides, Michael had been so excited about attending the fiesta. He’d been through so much. No, she regretted nothing. It was unfortunate that so many people had suffered over the loss of Stevie, but his accident had not been her fault or her son’s, and she refused to hide him away just because he reminded everyone of Stevie.

  “The video should be over in about fifteen minut
es. Michael is in the recliner by the wall.”

  The children were watching an animated version of Hercules, and Josie didn’t want to upset them by bothering Michael.

  “Actually, I need to ask Consuelo when she wants to leave. I can come back later.”

  “That’s fine, but you’re welcome to stay if you like.”

  Josie knew she would feel uncomfortable speaking to Elena. What would they talk about? Michael and Stevie? This very nice woman had been Logan’s mother-in-law, and had remained friends with him in spite of everything.

  “I’m sorry your daughter couldn’t make it,” Josie said.

  “It couldn’t be helped. She and her husband happened to be out of the country this weekend. But they plan to visit for Christmas.”

  Josie nodded. “Well, I’ll return soon.”

  “Fine,” Elena said gently. “We’ll be here.”

  Outside, the full moon bleached the surroundings, turning the landscape into an incredible black-and-white sculpture. Josie headed toward a towering oak located to the side of the sprawling home.

  A lazy breeze whispered against her skin, and she lifted her hair from the nape of her neck in order to catch what little air there was. Letting go of her hair, she sighed and stared into the darkness, wondering if Dry Devil’s River ran somewhere close by. She hoped not. She couldn’t imagine having to stare at the river every day, knowing it had taken her son’s life. Her hands came up and crossed over her chest. Don’t think about that, she chided herself. Don’t think about how he must feel each time he sees my son.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Josie spun around, her hand clutching her chest. “Logan, you frightened me.”

  “Sorry. I thought I’d made enough noise coming here, but you were deep in thought and you looked . . . sad. What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

  She shrugged. “I felt like getting away from the crowd. It’s peaceful out here. Actually, I was thinking how lucky the Castillos are to live here. This place is beautiful. Josie rested her hand on the tree. “It’s a pretty night, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” As he came up behind her, his hands touched her shoulders, and he pulled her gently back against him.

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you all day,” he whispered near her ear.

  Josie closed her eyes, enjoying his nearness, wanting more of his warmth. She wanted him to kiss her, too.

  He gently turned her around and slowly lowered his mouth to hers. Her mouth parted, inviting his tongue to meet her own.

  The kiss was long and slow, causing warmth to spread through her body like wildfire. Her hands wound around his neck, and she pressed closer, enjoying the feel of his hard body against hers.

  Logan leaned her back and pinned her against the tree, deepening the kiss, losing himself in her heated response and savoring her nearness. His hands fell to her hips, pulling her against him, wanting her to feel how his body wanted more, needed more of her.

  “Josie,” he whispered into her mouth. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, moving slowly over the indentation there as he’d been aching to do.

  Josie moaned as his hands moved to cup her bottom, and his knee wedged between her legs.

  In the distance, they heard laughter.

  With agonizing effort, he pulled back and took a deep breath. “What are we going to do about what’s going on between us?”

  Josie’s mouth was still wet from his kiss. “I don’t know. What do you want me to say?”

  “We want each other. The thing is, it would only be a temporary arrangement.”

  She felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather. “Temporary?”

  He shrugged. “How long would be up to you, since you’re the one who’s leaving. And I can’t commit to anything more permanent than the present.”

  His words slashed painfully through her heart, and it took some effort for her to speak. “I’m not a one-night stand.”

  “I didn’t mean that.”

  Anger made her lash out. “So what are you really saying? That you want me, but you don’t want any ties?” She stepped aside and backed away from him. “Well, I’m awfully glad you told me,” she said sarcastically.

  He took a step toward her. “I’m afraid I put it badly. I meant—”

  “It’s late. I have to go. My son’s waiting for me.”

  “Josie, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. You’re the one who told me you were only here on borrowed time.”

  Her chin lifted, and he could see he was making things worse.

  Her laugh sounded brittle. “And you thought, oh great, she’s leaving anyway, so why not enjoy a roll in the hay while she’s here.”

  He shook his head. “You have it all wrong.”

  “Do I?” She looked away so he couldn’t see the pain in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. In the end, things have a way of turning out for the best. And there’ve already been too many temporary arrangements in my life.”

  “Josie—”

  “I have to go,” she said again, and kept on going.

  Chapter 9

  Dammit, why had she gotten so angry? She was the one who’d been so set on leaving town. In fact, she’d told him, more than once, that she had no intention of staying.

  Logan shoved his empty cup away and stared out his kitchen window. He wanted her, and she wanted him. So what was the problem? What was he supposed to think when she kept flashing smoldering glances his way? Yesterday at the fiesta, the fact that there had been a crowd around them hadn’t mattered. He’d been tempted to drag her someplace they could be sure of privacy. The way her eyes spoke to him, he’d had no doubt she would have gone willingly.

  Frustration crept up his neck like a hot band, making him want to throw his cup at the wall, to hear it shatter into tiny pieces—just as she was doing to his heart.

  Later, when he could think more clearly, he finally admitted that he’d handled things badly. It seemed he and Josie were always doing the right thing at the wrong time. And why was it that every time he got around her, all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hold her, yet when he tried to talk to her, to explain things, something stopped him.

  And when she left town, where would he be? Nursing a broken heart, that’s where. And he didn’t think he’d be able to get through all that pain again. Losing his wife had been mild compared to the loss of his son. Losing a family had been like falling off the side of a cliff into a deep black pit. It had taken him a long time to dig his way out.

  He might’ve told Josie all of this if he’d thought it would make a difference, but the truth was, he just couldn’t take the chance of losing another family. Each time he got near her, though, his good sense went flying into space, along with his good intentions.

  Last night, he had dreamed of her again. She’d been burrowing herself and her son into his heart, and it hurt like hell to feel that strongly about someone again.

  She had invaded his life. Now she intruded in his thoughts and dreams, and he didn’t like what it was doing to him—tearing him inside out.

  It had taken Josie all day to write a letter to her aunt, because Logan kept breaking into her thoughts. In fact, he’d been taking up a large chunk of space in her mind for the last several days.

  She knew he wanted her, but that wasn’t enough for her. She wanted what she’d never been able to have. Roots. A place to call home. And a family that included a man she could respect.

  A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. When she opened it, her eyes lit with surprise.

  “May I come in?” Elena asked politely.

  “Please do,” Josie replied, opening the door wider and then leading her to the sofa. “Would you care for something to drink?”

  “Whatever you’re having.”

  “Coffee?” Josie asked, picking up her empty cup from the coffee table.”

  “That would be nice. Thanks.”

  She envied Elena’s composure. Josie always had to struggle not to appear awkwa
rd around the woman. She walked over to a cupboard and brought out a cup and saucer.

  “Cream and sugar?” Josie called from the small kitchen.

  “Cream, only, please.”

  Josie returned with the coffee and cream on a tray and set it down on the coffee table. Picking up her own cup, she wondered why Elena would pay her a visit. She would not be visiting her without a reason.

  “I’m here to ask you something—a favor actually,” Elena said, pouring cream in her coffee.”

  Josie waited warily.

  Elena raised the cup to her mouth and took a sip. “I know you haven’t had it easy, Josie. And now, this business with Stevie and Michael. The fact that they look so much alike must be difficult for you, too. Especially when you’re probably reminded of it so much.” She smiled slightly in order to take the edge off the awkwardness of the matter. “I don’t want you to think that what I’m about to ask has anything to do with that.”

  Josie set her cup down, suddenly overcome with a curiosity.

  “Last night before the children started watching their movie, Michael mentioned that his birthday is next week.”

  Josie nodded politely.

  Elena looked into Josie’s eyes. “I would like to give him a birthday party.” At Josie’s startled glance, Elena held up a hand. “Please hear me out before answering.”

  “All right.”

  “It’s true Michael looks like Stevie, but that’s where the resemblance ends. A child can never be replaced with another. I would be lying if I didn’t say that when I look at Michael I feel a certain fondness for him, and for you. But my decision to give the party really stems from the fact that your son is a kind and giving little boy. No matter where he lives, or where you and he finally end up, I think it would be wonderful for him to celebrate his birthday. Timing is so important, Josie. They grow before our very eyes.”

  “Yes, I know,” Josie said, a lump in her throat, touched by Elena’s words.