Preacher frowned. “What are you talking about?”
She flashed accusing eyes at him. “You know what I’m talking about. You and your sister forcing Dante into your drug business and now trying to force him out and take his dealership.” She shook her head. “You certainly had us fooled. Tell me, Preacher, did you and Loretta sit around and laugh at how naive we were? I bet we gave you both a good laugh.”
Preacher squatted in front of her, his stomach churning at the betrayal and disgust in her voice. “I don’t know what Dante told you,” he said, “but I didn’t force him into anything.”
“Yeah, right. I’m getting good at parsing what people say and what they don’t say. What about your sister? Did she force him?”
Preacher glanced away, unable to bear the guilty sentence in her eyes. When he turned back to her, he said, “It happened while I was in prison. I didn’t know anything about it until a few days ago. And my sister didn’t force Dante, he willingly joined in with her.”
Her eyes widened in disgust. “Are you trying to make excuses for your sister?” she asked. “You’ve got some nerve.”
“I’m not trying to make excuses. My sister is guilty, too.”
“And so are you. You knew and you did nothing. Were you going to let Barnard get the jobs program mixed up in that mess? After all he’s done for you, were you going to let him do that?”
Preacher shook his head. “I wasn’t going to let that happen. That’s what I told Dante yesterday at the cookout.”
“I don’t believe you. Dante told me you threatened him because you want to push him out of the dealership so you and your sister can have it.”
“That’s a lie,” Preacher said. “Dante is lying to you.”
Natalie took a deep breath. “It seems to me you’re both liars. How am I supposed to know who to believe? All I know is that Dante came to me with the truth but you didn’t.”
“I wanted to. I was going to. Today.”
“Right. Now isn’t that convenient? You must really think I’m an idiot.”
Preacher knew her reaction was reasonable given what she’d just learned, but her words still pierced his core. He remembered the day she’d told him she knew he was a good guy. That seemed like a long time ago now. “I think you’re wonderful,” Preacher said. “You and Barnard have been nothing but supportive of me. That’s why I spoke to Dante yesterday. I asked him to put some distance between you two so you wouldn’t be hurt by his business dealings. I wasn’t going to sit on the secret for long, Natalie. You have to believe me.”
She shook her head. “But I don’t believe you. That’s what a lie does, Preacher. It erodes all trust.”
“I know but I am telling the truth now.”
She met his gaze. “Why didn’t you come to us when you first found out? How did you find out anyway?”
Preacher didn’t say anything.
Natalie breathed out a sigh. “No need to answer. Of course, your sister told you. So is that what you were doing, protecting your sister?”
Preacher nodded. “She’s guilty but she’s my sister and I don’t want to see her in prison.”
She lifted her arms and Preacher thought she was about to whack him. He didn’t move because he felt he deserved her attack. But she didn’t hit him. She let her arms fall to her side. “I understand about your sister, Preacher, but I don’t understand how you could throw us under the bus to help her.”
“I was trying to figure out how I could both protect her and tell you. I couldn’t find an easy answer.”
Natalie’s sorrow-filled eyes met his. “You could have come to us, Preacher. We’re not some people you met on the streets. We’re your brother and sister in Christ. Together we would have come up with something. We would have tried to help Loretta, if she wanted to be helped.”
That was his worry. Loretta hadn’t wanted to be helped, but maybe now she would. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought I could take care of it myself.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Natalie said, reaching down for her purse.
When she stood, Preacher asked, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to tell my brother what’s going on.”
He followed her to the door. “I know I don’t deserve to ask anything of you, Natalie, but if you have any compassion in your heart left for me, I ask that you let me tell Barnard. He’s been a real brother to me and he deserves to hear the truth from me. Will you give me that?”
Natalie didn’t answer immediately. While he waited for her response, he felt the bullet he thought he’d dodged settle into the chamber of his heart. He bled on the inside.
“I’m doing this for my brother, Preacher, not for you. You get today. I’m calling him from the car and telling him I need to see him before he talks to Dante or Andre, just to make sure they don’t try to pull a fast one and sign up for the program. I’m telling him tonight. If you haven’t told him by then, too bad for you.”
He opened the door for her. “I’m sorry, Natalie. You don’t know how sorry I am.”
Natalie’s lips turned down in a frown. “You’re right, Preacher, you are sorry. You know what hurts most? I didn’t just believe you, I believed in you. I have to ask, was your conversion real or was it just an act to get yourself out of prison?” Not waiting for an answer, she turned and headed down the steps.
No sooner had Preacher closed the door, sat down on the couch, and dropped his head in his hands in despair when he heard footfalls coming up the inside stairway. It had to be Tanya. He waited while she unlocked the door from her side and let herself in without knocking. She came in blazing. “What’s going on here, Preacher?” she asked. “Are you sleeping with Serena and Natalie? Tell me I didn’t just see Natalie coming from your apartment. What was she doing here?”
Preacher really didn’t need this now. “It’s not what you think, Tanya. She needed to talk to me about some business.”
Tanya propped her hands on her hips. “What business? Last I heard you weren’t in the gym business and she wasn’t in the funeral home business, so what kind of business did she need to talk to you about?”
Preacher wiped his hands down his face. “I’ll tell you all about it tonight,” he told her. “But right now I need to run a couple of important errands.”
“Errands more important than your family? You’d better get your priorities straight, Preacher.”
Preacher couldn’t deal with Tanya’s ranting right now, so he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you,” she called after him. “Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am?”
Preacher turned back to her. “Be patient until tonight. I can’t deal with this right now. I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
Tanya rolled her eyes. “You’ve made me a lot of promises,” she said. “And a lot of them have been broken.”
Preacher couldn’t take anymore. “Tonight, Tanya. We’ll talk tonight.” He closed the door behind him, leaving her standing there in the middle of his living room talking to herself. There’d be hell to pay when he came home tonight.
Preacher called Loretta and had her meet him at a park near the funeral home. She grinned when she saw him sitting in one of the swings. “Reverting back to your childhood,” she said, taking a seat in the swing next to his.
“Things are getting out of hand, ’Retta,” he told her, seeing no need to waste time with niceties. “Dante has told Natalie and Natalie’s going to tell her brother.”
“Tell them what?” Loretta asked.
“About the drugs going through Circle Autos and about our involvement in it.”
“You’re not involved.” Yet.
“The way Dante’s telling it, you and I forced him in and now we’re trying to force him out.” He stopped swinging. “Are you trying to force him out, Loretta?”
“He wants out,” she told him. “So I thought buying his share would be a good opportunity for you
. It was a win-win situation.”
Preacher shook his head. “Have you heard anything I’ve been telling you over the last two years, ’Retta? I don’t want back into the life. I want to be as far away from it as possible. Why are you so determined to drag me back in?”
“Look, Preacher,” Loretta said. “I’ve listened to your salvation mumbo jumbo, but I’m not buying it. I don’t know what game you’re running, but I know it’s a game. I just can’t figure out why you won’t let me in on it. Don’t you trust me anymore?”
Preacher sighed. Talking to his sister was like talking to a brick wall. Nothing penetrated. “It’s not a game, Loretta. I’m a changed man.”
Loretta smirked. “Then why are you lying to your buddy Barnard about your relationship with his wife?”
Preacher closed his eyes.
“Didn’t you think I’d remember her, Preacher? I’m not senile, you know. How long have you two been boldly seeing each other right under her husband’s nose?”
Preacher was taken aback at how his lies looked from the perspectives of others. “I’m not seeing her.”
“That’s not what she said.”
“What are you talking about? What have you said to her?”
“Calm down, Brother. I just let her know she wasn’t fooling me. I saw the way she watched you at the cookout yesterday. I’m not stupid; there’s something going on between you. And right under your supposed best friend’s nose? If that’s Christianity, sign me up. It sounds like a better racket than what I’ve got going.”
How low had his lies brought him? Preacher thought. The sister he’d so wanted to see Christ in him only saw a man playing a game. “It’s not how it looks, ’Retta,” he said lamely.
She shrugged. “Looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, must be a duck. That’s all I’m saying.”
Preacher had no idea how to reach her, so he stopped trying. For the moment. “What are you going to do?”
“About what?”
“Aren’t you concerned about what Barnard and his sister are going to do?”
She shook her head. “All they’re going to do is get Dante and Andre sent to prison. That’s on them. Not on me.”
“What about the New York folks?”
“What about them? You know as well as I do that some low-level expendable person is going to take the fall for this. They’re not worried. I’m not worried.”
Preacher’s heart ached at the ruthlessness he heard in his sister’s voice and saw in her eyes. With every word she spoke, the distance between them widened. He wondered if they’d ever be able to bridge the gap.
CHAPTER 19
Serena pounded around the track at the gym this morning. She’d left early, before Barnard had gotten out of bed. She couldn’t look at her husband’s face again with the lie between them. Not with the threat of Preacher’s sister looming. Not with the damning look Tanya had given her as she and Barnard were leaving the cookout yesterday. Tanya knew something and Serena could only guess that it was about her past relationship with Preacher. The time had arrived for her to tell the truth, something she should have done a long time ago. She just didn’t know how to do it.
As she rounded the track for the fourth time, she rehearsed in her mind her fourth scenario for how she would tell Barnard about her past with Preacher. Unfortunately, all four had the same ending: her marriage in trouble. She increased her pace, hoping the adrenaline that fueled her physical body would increase her mental capacity. She needed ideas!
“You’re at it early,” Natalie said, as she fell in beside her.
“I could say the same for you,” Serena said. Natalie was not a runner, so Serena knew something was up with her sister-in-law. She welcomed a break from her own dire situation, so she asked, “What’s going on?”
“Need to clear my head,” Natalie said, maintaining Serena’s pace. “This seems to help you, so I thought I’d give it a try.”
Serena let the next lap pass in silence, sensing Natalie needed the quietness of her own thoughts. After another lap, Serena glanced at Natalie out of the corner of her eye. The tears she saw streaming down her sister-in-law’s cheeks stopped her in her tracks. She pulled Natalie’s arm to get her to stop. “Nat, what’s wrong?”
Natalie shook her head. “I can’t talk about it, Serena.”
The two of them were too close for Serena to accept those words. “You can talk to me about anything.” She lifted her hands to Natalie’s cheeks and wiped her tears. “Now tell me what’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Dante?”
Natalie tried to smile, but failed. “How’d you guess?”
Serena smiled. “When a woman cries, a man is usually the cause.”
“You couldn’t be more right,” Natalie said, sighing deeply. “This morning I can do without all of them.” She glanced at Serena. “Sometimes I’m so jealous of you and Barnard. Don’t get me wrong. I love you both and I love that you’re happy. But I so want what you have and it doesn’t seem that I’m ever going to get it. All I get are imitations. First, Benjamin. And now, Dante. What is it about me that I attract and fall for the wrong men? Is something wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Serena said. Natalie’s praise for her marriage made her feel like the worst of hypocrites. She leaped at the opportunity to change the subject. “Now tell me what happened with Dante.”
Natalie shook her head. “You wouldn’t believe it. I’m not even sure I believe it. I thought I knew him.” She laughed. “Like I thought I knew Benjamin. And like I thought I knew Preacher.” She turned to Serena. “Maybe I’m called to be single and I just don’t know it or won’t accept it. There’s no other explanation for my poor track record with men.”
Serena’s focus zoomed in on Preacher. “What’s Preacher got to do with this?” She prayed Loretta hadn’t gotten to Natalie with her suspicions.
“Don’t go ballistic on Preacher,” Natalie said. “I can’t take ‘I told you so’ this morning.”
“Then tell me what’s going on,” Serena repeated. Natalie’s reaction suggested that her problem with Preacher had a source other than his past relationship with Serena. While Serena experienced a bit of relief that her secret was still safe, it occurred to her that if she’d been honest about her past with Preacher, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to hurt Natalie the way he obviously had. She wondered what Natalie would think when she realized that truth as well.
“I’ll tell you,” Natalie said. “But I need some time.”
“Natalie—”
Natalie took her sister-in-law’s hand in hers. “I really need this time to try to get some clarity on my life. Given the series of bad decisions I’ve made, it’s clear I’m not hearing the Lord’s voice and I need to figure out why. Give me the day and I promise to drop by your house tonight and tell you and Barnard all. I’m going to need to tell both of you and I don’t want go through it all twice. Will you do that for me—wait until tonight? It may be late, but I promise to come by.”
“If you’re sure?” Serena asked, ashamed for being relieved that Natalie’s visit this evening would give her an excuse for waiting a day longer to come clean with Barnard. It wouldn’t be fair to hit him with her past with Preacher and Natalie’s problem on the same evening.
“I’m sure,” Natalie said.
Nodding, Serena took the reprieve she’d been given. She left for the shower counting all the ways Preacher’s presence had damaged her relationships and hurt those around her. She’d do tomorrow tonight what she’d been too much of a coward to do before. She’d tell the truth and pray she still had a husband and a sister-in-law after she did.
Tanya rarely complained about her looks, but today was one rare day when her beauty might work against her. Before her little run-in this morning with Preacher about Natalie’s visit, she’d planned on looking her best for this meeting. Now she thought she’d be better served by looking a bit worse for the wear.
Despite feeling naked and expose
d without her makeup, she climbed out of her car and headed across the parking lot and to the church. Barnard hadn’t been in when she’d brought the kids to the Children’s Center this morning, but he was here now and he was waiting for her. She had plenty to tell him, too. Preacher might think he was playing her for a fool, but she’d show him who the fool really was.
Barnard’s door was open when she reached it, and she stood for a moment looking at him sitting at his desk immersed in paperwork, before she interrupted, “Barnard.”
He looked up, giving her a huge smile. “Tanya,” he said, getting up and coming to her. “It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came by earlier.” He pointed to the round table in the corner of his office. “Have a seat,” he said. “Can I get you something to drink?”
Tanya shook her head. “No, thanks,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m just happy you had some time for me this morning.”
He sat next to her and gave her that smile again, causing her to feel a tinge of regret at what she was about to do. Collateral damage, she thought they called it, that’s what he was.
“After yesterday,” he said, “I consider us friends. Friends always have time for friends. Besides, you said you needed a favor and I want to help.”
“Thanks, Barnard. I hope you’ll feel that way after you hear what I have to say.”
“I’ll always consider you a friend,” he said. “Now tell me what I can do to help you.”
Tanya put her folded hands on the table, holding them together tightly. She hoped she came across as timid and upset. “I don’t know how to say this but to say it.” She glanced up at him and quickly glanced away. “I want you to keep your wife away from Preacher.”
She saw confusion cloud his eyes, so she wasn’t surprised when he said, “I don’t understand.”
She dabbed at her eyes with her knuckles, wishing she could force some tears. “I know you don’t, Barnard,” she said. “You’re a good man. You don’t deserve what they’re doing to us and neither do I.” Tanya waited for understanding to dawn in eyes, but the question in them remained. How could any man be so dense? she wondered. So much for hints. “Serena is sleeping with Preacher.”
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