Preacher shook his head. “It’s not like that, Loretta.”
She stood. “It’s time for you to leave, Preacher. You’ve been perfectly clear about where I stand with you. Nowhere.”
“It’s not like that, ’Retta,” Preacher said, feeling his sister’s pain.
She shrugged as if his words no longer mattered. “If it walks like a duck, you know the rest. Now get out.” When he would have spoken, she screamed, “Get out NOW!”
With one last look at his sister, Preacher left her house. As he did, he realized he didn’t have anywhere else to go or anyone else to turn to. Except Big Boy. And because he was on probation, he couldn’t even go to Big Boy’s house. He was alone. This was not the life he expected when he became a Christian. He began to pray.
CHAPTER 23
The first thing Preacher did when he got home was call Big Boy and tell him to cease looking for Tanya. During his prayer time in the car, he’d realized that the stand he’d taken with Loretta was a stand he needed to take with his entire past. Big Boy had been his bodyguard and the person who watched his back in the old life. Preacher realized he couldn’t keep leaning on him for the same services if he really wanted the new life Christ had given him. He did want that life, even though it seemed the life didn’t want him.
The more he thought about Barnard and Natalie, the more their desertion hurt. How could they deny the work Christ had done in his life and heart? In the old days, he would have walked away from them and the life they represented, but too much was at stake now. After realizing how close to death and hell he’d been, he wasn’t turning back. Not only was his life and soul hanging in the balance, so were the souls of his boys. His old life paled in comparison to the small taste of Christian life he’d experienced. He wasn’t going back. He’d tell Barnard and Natalie that tomorrow. What they did with it was up to them.
Preacher felt alone in one way, yet surrounded by God’s love in another. His burgeoning joy had come out of deep grief and the seeming loss of all he cherished. He began to hum an old hymn he remembered his grandmother singing, “Precious Lord.” As he hummed the words, his heart filled with the love that God had showered on him when he’d deserved death for the life he’d lived and lives he’d destroyed. His singing turned to prayer and soon Preacher was on his knees pouring out his heart before the Lord. “Thank you, Lord,” he prayed. “These past two days have been the worst days of my life. Thank you for not allowing the challenges they brought to consume me.
“Thank you, Father, for Tanya and my kids. I pray for their safety and their safe return. Help me to trust you, Lord, that this situation is temporary. Give me wisdom in dealing with Tanya when they do.
“Thank you, Lord, for Loretta. Forgive me for taking so long to speak the words of truth you gave me tonight. Use those words for your purpose in showing her the futility of the life she’s chosen.
“Thank you, Lord, for Barnard and Serena. Please forgive me for being selfish where Barnard is concerned. It’s true that I didn’t tell him about my past with Serena out of respect for her privacy, but as you already know, a part of me feared losing his friendship. Restore his marriage, Lord.
“Thank you, Lord, for Natalie. Forgive me for not telling her immediately about Dante. I pray that you encourage her during this rough time. Give her strength to go on without becoming jaded.”
After a few minutes of silence, he continued, “Lord, thank you for not leaving me, for guiding me, for showing me how to live this life. Forgive me for the lack of faith that made me keep secrets that ended up hurting me and the people I love. Help me to face the consequences as a godly man should. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Preacher stayed on his knees after the prayer was over, taking comfort in being in the presence of God. He began humming his grandmother’s hymn again.
With fresh bagels and hot coffee in the bag in his hand, Barnard knocked on Preacher’s door bright and early the next morning. Over breakfast, he and Natalie had decided that one of them needed to talk to Preacher. Barnard wanted the task, as much for himself and Preacher as for him and Serena. When Preacher didn’t answer, he knocked again.
A sleepy-eyed Preacher opened the door before Barnard knocked a third time. “Good morning,” Barnard said, entering the apartment. “I bet you’re surprised to see me.”
Preacher closed the door and watched as Barnard spread out his breakfast goodies on the bar. “Surprise is a good word,” he said. “What brings you by so early?”
Barnard stopped taking bagels out of the bag and met Preacher’s eyes. “I came to apologize on behalf of me and Natalie,” he said. “We were both wrong in how we handled the last couple of days. I know it’s not much. I can only imagine how disappointed you must be by our reaction. My only excuse is that we were operating out of pain and anger, not Christian love.”
Preacher, who had picked up a bagel and begun to spread on some cream cheese, ceased his motions. “I was coming by today to explain that to you. Leave it to God to bring you here this morning. He amazes me.” Shaking his head, he resumed spreading the cream cheese on his bagel.
Barnard smiled. “You’re not the only one He amazes.” He followed Preacher’s lead and spread cream cheese on his own bagel. “You were really coming over?”
Preacher grinned. “With guns blazing. You and Natalie left me swinging in the wind. I’ve never felt so alone.”
Barnard’s smile faded. “I’m sorry, man,” he said again. “I hope you can forgive us.”
“You’re already forgiven,” Preacher said, after taking a sip of his coffee. “Do you forgive me for lying about my past with Serena, and for not telling you about my sister’s continued involvement in my old drug business?”
Barnard leaned against the counter, bagel in hand. “I forgive you,” he said, “but I still don’t understand. I guess I don’t really have to. What I know is that your conversion was real, that you’re my brother in the faith, and that we all have made wrong choices, sinned, and fallen short of God’s glory.”
“Thanks for saying that, man,” Preacher said, feeling the sting of emotion in the back of his eyes. “I needed to hear those words, but I also need to try to make you understand.”
“It’s not necessary,” Barnard said.
“It is to me,” Preacher said, taking another sip of coffee. “I value our friendship, Barnard, and I’d like to resume it.”
Barnard looked away and then turned back to Preacher. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”
Preacher coughed, almost choking on his coffee. “What? I thought you said you forgave me. I don’t understand.”
“It’s not about me,” Barnard said, after slapping Preacher on the back. “It’s about Serena. She’s still struggling with her past with you and I want to support her. To be honest, she’s not ready to deal with you yet. I know that’s not right, but that’s the way it is. She’s my wife and she has to come first. Do you understand?”
Preacher poured the dregs of his coffee down the drain, glad for the distraction. His lies had come full circle. He had to accept the consequences of his actions. “Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”
“Right now, it’s not about forgiving you. Serena has to forgive herself.”
“Ahh,” Preacher said. “I sorta thought the same thing.”
“Then you understand about our friendship?”
The regret that he heard in Barnard’s voice eased the dismay Preacher felt at the direction their friendship was being forced to take. “I understand,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean I like it. In addition to being my spiritual mentor, you’re also my probation sponsor. What’s going to happen there?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Barnard said. “Contrary to what my recent actions showed, I won’t leave you hanging. I’ve already spoken to Wayne and he’s agreed that Luther can step in for me. He’s drawing up the paperwork at the probation office today.”
“How much do they know?” Preacher asked.
“I
had to tell them everything I knew, Preacher. People can’t support you if they don’t know the truth.”
“I can’t believe they want to support me, given that they know the truth.”
“What can I say? Their reactions were decidedly different from mine and Natalie’s. They demonstrated that sustaining kind of love that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13, a love that ‘never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ They believed the best of you and asked for an explanation of the lies. Once they were told, they understood. They didn’t agree, but they understood.”
“Thanks for being my advocate with them,” Preacher said.
“It’s the least I can do for my brother,” Barnard said. “We may not be able to share the same kind of friendship we shared before, but you’re no less a brother to me. I want to be sure you understand that point.”
“I understand,” Preacher said. “I could have saved us all a lot of trouble if I’d been up front and honest from day one, couldn’t I?”
Barnard nodded. “But don’t beat yourself up about it. Learn from it. And remember it when something similar happens to someone else. Be better to them than I’ve been to you.”
Preacher heard his own guilt in Barnard’s voice. “Now I have to tell you not to beat yourself up. You had every right to be angry with me. I would have been angry, too.”
Barnard waved off Preacher’s words. “Natalie told us about Tanya and your boys. I told the pastor, and he has the whole church praying for you.”
Preacher’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? The entire church?”
“Not everyone knows it’s you specifically, but the pastor knows and the prayer warriors know. They know and they’re all praying. Your boys will be home soon, safe and sound.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“‘Thank you, Lord,’ will work,” Barnard said, with a smile.
Preacher lifted his eyes upward. “Thank you, Lord.” Then he looked at Barnard, “Thank you, brother.”
At this moment, Natalie wished she’d gone to see Preacher and had her brother make this call on Benjamin for her. Even as the thought passed through her mind, she knew this was a task she had to do herself.
She walked through the bank’s lobby and toward the row of offices. “Benjamin Towles, please,” she said to the pert secretary seated outside the trio of offices. “Tell him Natalie Jenkins from Faith Community Church wants to speak with him.”
“Have a seat, please,” the young woman said, as she punched in a couple of digits on the phone on her desk.
Natalie sat in the soft leather chair to the left of the desk. Benjamin came out of his office within minutes. The question in his smile was matched by the one in his eyes. “Natalie,” he said, coming to her. “What a surprise. What brings you by?”
Natalie stood. “If you have a minute,” she said, “I’d like to talk to you about a personal matter.”
His smile faded a bit. Natalie certainly understood why. They hadn’t had a civil conversation since she’d learned of his betrayal. Despite his obvious misgivings, he escorted her to his office and closed the door behind them. He took his seat behind the desk while she sat on the other side facing him.
“I won’t keep you long,” she said. Then she took a deep breath. “Things ended badly between us, Benjamin, and I’ve harbored ill feelings for you since. You’ve asked me on several occasions to forgive you, and today I came to give you that forgiveness. I’ve withheld it too long.”
Benjamin leaned forward and rested his forearms on his desk. “Thank you, Natalie,” he said. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention. I still wish we could have worked things out.”
Natalie shook her head. “We weren’t meant to be, for obvious reasons. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness with other people. You’ve already found someone, and I want to be ready when my time comes. I know now I’ll never be ready as long as I’m angry and unforgiving about what went on between us.”
“I still love you,” he said.
Natalie stood. There was no need to go down this road again. “I pray those are just words, Benjamin,” she said. “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Love the woman you’re with and stop looking for the next best thing. Allow yourself to be happy. That’s what I plan to do.” She smiled at him, able for the first time since their break-up to remember the good times they had shared along with the bad. “Good-bye, Benjamin,” she said. “Be happy.”
Later that afternoon, Preacher met with Wayne and Luther at the funeral home. The three of them sat around the table in Luther’s office and planned Preacher’s next steps. Since Barnard had already given them most of the information they needed, Preacher only had to fill in the details.
“Why do you think this Dante lied to Natalie about your involvement with your sister’s business?” Luther asked.
Preacher lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug. “Maybe he thought it was true. Maybe he wanted to get back at me for forcing him to end things with Natalie. Maybe a little of both. I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Wayne said. “What matters is that it’s not true.”
“It’s definitely not true,” Preacher said. “I’ve been extra careful about not involving myself with my sister or her business. I encourage her on every occasion to get out.”
“But you never turned her in,” Luther added.
Preacher winced. “I felt a certain loyalty to her,” he said. “And I thought I could get her out, but I’ve had to accept that she doesn’t want out. I don’t like it but that’s the way it is. What’s going to happen to her?”
“I’ve got a call in to a lawyer buddy of mine,” Luther said. “He’s agreed to meet with your sister, get a read on what she wants to do with her life, help her all he can if she wants to be helped. He’s the best. She’ll probably have to do some time, but if she’s willing to cooperate with the district attorney, my buddy will get her the best deal possible. In the end, though, it’ll be up to her.”
“It’s her best bet, Preacher,” Wayne said. “You can’t keep protecting her. You can give her a hand, but she has to stand or fall on her own.”
Preacher knew his friends’ words were true, but he didn’t like hearing them. Despite his best efforts, it seemed his sister was headed for prison. That felt like failure to him. “I’ll call her and let her know to expect to hear from the attorney.”
Luther shook his head. “That’s not a good idea. You can’t make this decision for her. You have to trust God that we are as concerned about her as you are. We’re not going to turn our backs on you or her, not before giving it our best efforts.”
“I don’t believe this,” Preacher said, his gaze traveling from the hope in Wayne’s face to the wisdom in Luther’s. “I don’t believe how good you both are being to me and Loretta, and you don’t even know her.”
Luther placed a hand on Preacher’s shoulder and squeezed. “We know you love her and we know you’ve been praying for her. That’s enough for us. We’re family, Preacher. We stumble sometimes, but we’re family.”
Preacher took a moment to absorb the truth of those words. Family. God had honored his prayer.
Wayne cleared his throat. “Now we turn our attention to the situation with your kids,” he said. “When was the last time you heard from Tanya?”
Preacher told them about Maylene’s call to her.
“Can’t we trace her cell phone?” Luther asked Wayne.
“We need a court order to do that.”
“She took my kids,” Preacher said. “Isn’t that a reason to get one?”
Wayne shook his head. “I’m afraid not. She’s the custodial parent. Besides, she’s only been gone a couple of days. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do except wait.”
Preacher sighed. “That’s easier said than done.”
“If you really think she’d hurt the kids, we could pursue an order on those gr
ounds. Do you think she would?”
Preacher was tempted to lie, but he shook his head. “She’s using them to yank my chain. It’s a power play. Nothing more. But things can go wrong. Anything can happen. I want my kids back home.”
“We know it’s hard, Preacher,” Luther said. “Just hang in there a couple more days. If something doesn’t give, we can go another route.”
“I’m not hearing this,” Wayne said, covering his ears with his hands.
“Whatever we do will be legal, Wayne,” Luther said. “We just won’t go through the courts.”
“All right then,” Wayne said, stacking his papers in front of him. “That’s all I had. The paperwork’s done to change your sponsor from Barnard to Luther,” he said to Preacher, “and it should be signed off on in the next couple of days. So consider it done.” Then to Luther he said, “You’ll have your lawyer friend get in touch with Loretta today or tomorrow?”
Luther nodded. “He’s trying to reach her today.”
Wayne turned to Preacher. “We’re done here, unless you have something else.”
“That’s it,” Preacher said, reaching out to shake the men’s hands. “Thanks. Both of you.” Then his cell phone rang. “Excuse me,” he said, pulling out the phone. “I need to take this. It’s Tanya’s mother.”
Preacher stood and walked a few feet away from the table where they sat. “What is it, Maylene?” he asked. “Have you heard from Tanya?”
“Wilford, I don’t know what I’m to do with that girl. She took those boys to Disney World for the week and calls me this morning crying about how they’re driving her crazy. She wants both of us to come down there and bail her out. I could ring that girl’s neck.”
Preacher started laughing, releasing all the anxiety that had built up since he’d gotten Tanya’s note. “Disney World?” he repeated.
“You heard me,” she said. “I’m on a seven o’clock Delta flight tonight.”
Up Pops the Devil Page 27
