He studied her, calculating what he had to lose by telling her. Realizing that he’d already lost everything important to him, he said. “Tanya’s taken them.”
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean, she’s taken them?”
“What I said. Tanya has left me and taken the boys with her.”
“I don’t understand,” Natalie said, her brows scrunched up. “Why would she do that? Did you have a fight or something?”
Preacher shook his head. “There doesn’t have to be a fight for someone close to you to turn on you. You ought to know that. Look how you and Barnard turned on me.”
“Look, Preacher—”
Preacher shook off her hand. “I don’t have time for this,” he said. “I have to find my boys.” Taking a small bit of pleasure at her obvious surprise that he’d turned the tables on her, Preacher opened the door and left the Center.
Serena crossed paths with Preacher as she entered the Center. He didn’t acknowledge seeing her and she returned the favor. Now that the truth was out, all pretense between them was gone. She shook off the realization that the relief she’d expected to feel once he was out of their lives didn’t materialize. Unwilling to analyze that observation further, she focused her attention on the task at hand: winning her husband back. When she saw Natalie coming toward her, her heart skipped a beat.
“Did you see Preacher?” Natalie asked.
Serena nodded. “He was walking out when I was walking in.”
“How’d he look to you?”
Serena couldn’t believe the concern in her sister-in-law’s voice. “I didn’t look at him closely,” she said. “Why are you asking?”
“I’m worried about him,” Natalie said. “Apparently, Tanya has taken the boys and left him.”
Serena had no pity to give him. “That seems to be going around,” she said.
“What?” Natalie asked, finally turning her attention away from the door Preacher had exited and toward Serena.
“Spouses leaving,” Serena said.
“Tanya didn’t just leave. She took his kids, Serena,” Natalie said. “He loves those boys. He’ll be lost without them.”
Serena refused to stand there while her sister-in-law wailed about Preacher and his life, without showing the least bit of concern that Barnard had left her. “I’ve got to see Barnard,” she said.
Natalie shook her head. “That might not be a good idea, Serena. He needs some time to process everything. He’s still hurt and angry.”
Serena closed her eyes against the pain she’d caused. When she opened them, she said, “I have to make him understand. Time is not the answer.”
“Too bad you didn’t come to that conclusion earlier.”
Serena winced.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “That was out of line.” She sighed. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Talking to Barnard now is not a good idea. Things that don’t need to be said will be said out of anger and pain.”
“Even though you may be finding it hard to believe, Natalie, I love your brother. I also know him. Letting him stew about this is not the best thing for our marriage.”
Natalie shrugged. “I’m just giving you some advice. I can’t make you take it. But know this, Serena, I want you and Barnard to work this out. He loves you, even though he doesn’t want to focus on that love at the moment.”
Serena’s heart lightened at her sister-in-law’s words. “Thanks for telling me,” she said. Bracing her shoulders back, she added, “Now say a prayer for me as I try to right the wrong I’ve done.”
“I’m already praying,” Natalie said.
Serena strode purposefully towards Barnard’s office. Memories from their first meeting, their first date, their first kiss, and their wedding, all flashed through her mind and encouraged her to follow through with her plans. Her husband was worth fighting for.
His door was open when she reached it. She stood there looking at him, engrossed in the paperwork on his desk, thinking how much she loved everything about him. She loved his strength, those powerful arms that could protect her from any harm. She loved his heart, big enough to love her despite her faults. His big heart gave her hope this morning.
“Barnard,” she called softly.
He looked up at her and, for a brief moment, his familiar smile greeted her. It faded quickly to be replaced by a flatlined look of suspicion. “Serena,” he said with no emotion.
She walked into the room—asking for permission didn’t seem a good idea—and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath and prayed for mercy. “We need to talk,” she said, pulling a chair to his side of the desk so the furniture didn’t separate them. She wouldn’t allow their emotional distance to be amplified by physical distance in this small room.
He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his midsection. “Okay,” he said. “Talk.”
She shook her head. She would not allow him to disengage. Too much was at stake, their marriage and their future. “Not like this,” she said. “I want you to really speak to me. Tell me what you’re feeling. Tell me what I can do to make things right again. I’m willing to do whatever you want, Barnard,” she said. “I love you and I miss you. Last night was the first night since we’ve been married that we’ve slept apart in anger. I don’t want another night to pass that way.”
“Everything doesn’t fix as easily as you seem to think it does, Serena. You’d better get used to sleeping alone for a while. I need time.”
Serena’s hands tightened on the arms of her chair. “How much time?” she asked, fearing his answer.
He rubbed one of his hands around the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have,” he said. Then he looked directly at her and asked, “How long did it take you to forgive Preacher?”
“What are you talking about? What does Preacher have to do with this?” Serena sank back in her chair, wounded from the anger in his tone and the satisfied gleam in his eyes at her reaction. Maybe Natalie had been right.
He raised a brow. “You’re not seriously asking me that question, are you?”
“The situations are totally different,” she said. Surely he could see that there was no comparison between her and Preacher and him and her. Surely he saw the difference.
He leaned toward her. “They all boil down to the same thing in my mind, Serena,” he told her. “You want forgiveness and I’ll bet Preacher wanted it, too. What did you tell him when he asked?”
This conversation was not going at all the way Serena had planned. “Why are we talking about Preacher?” she asked. “We should be discussing us, our marriage, our future.”
“Don’t you see, Serena?” he asked. “Preacher is at the center of our problems, or rather your past with Preacher. You brought it right into our marriage and you have to get rid of it. We can’t move forward together until you let go of the past. How can you expect me to forgive you when you can’t forgive yourself or Preacher?”
Serena got up from her chair, unable to endure more of Barnard’s scrutiny. “Why are you doing this?” she asked, pacing in front of his desk. “Why don’t you come home so we can work this out?”
“We can’t fix our problems, Serena, until you can admit what they are.” He got up and stood in front of her, effectively ending her pacing. “Can’t you see?” he said. “We both need time. I need time to accept the lie that’s been between us all this time and you need time to figure out why you needed to lie.”
“I know why I lied,” she said. “I lied because I feared you’d judge me, and given what’s happened, I was right.”
Barnard leaned back against the desk. “You’re wrong, Serena. You need to ask the Lord to show you the truth.”
She scoffed. “Did the Lord tell you to leave me? Did you ask Him before you packed up and left?”
Barnard nodded. “I know you don’t believe me, but I did ask. I was hurting so much though that I
couldn’t hear His answer. I had to leave to keep from doing or saying something that would cause even more damage to our relationship.”
“So you haven’t given up on us?” Serena held her breath as she waited for an answer.
“I can’t,” he said, meeting her eyes. In them she saw her own fear along with what she prayed was a glimmer of hope. “What we have was put together by God. I won’t give up but I also won’t go on with things as they are.”
“That sounds like an ultimatum.”
He looked away from her briefly. When he turned back, he said, “I’m being honest, Serena.”
“So all I have to do is make nice with Preacher and you’ll come home?”
He snorted and then he shook his head. “If you really think that’s all you need to do, we’re in more trouble than I thought. We can’t work through this together if you won’t even accept what the real problem is.”
Serena bit down on her lower lip. “Preacher hurt me so badly, Barnard.”
“And you hurt me,” he said, placing his hand over his heart. “Does that give me the right to shut you out forever?”
Serena couldn’t make sense of this conversation. She came here to talk about her marriage and here she was talking about Preacher. “I don’t know how to forgive him,” she finally said, choking back her emotion. She looked at Barnard and wished he would take her in those strong arms of his and tell her everything was going to be all right. She opened her arms to him in a desperate plea for understanding and help.
Barnard didn’t move. “You can start by forgiving yourself. You’ve been blaming Preacher all these years for ruining your life, but look around, Serena. Your life isn’t ruined. The longer you hold onto your negative feelings about him, the more you stunt our relationship. It can never grow into what God wants it to be if you don’t forgive yourself. You sinned. We all have. We all do. Jesus died for those sins, but you have to let them go.”
Serena turned to him, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t know how,” she said. “After all these years, I don’t know how.”
Barnard moved to her then and gave her the comfort she’d longed for since he’d walked out of their home. “I’ll help you,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “We’ll help each other.”
Preacher didn’t know what to do with his anxiety so he went to the funeral home, hoping that being there would rekindle within him some excitement and hope for his future. When he pulled into the parking lot, he saw Big Boy standing outside waiting for him. His instincts told him Big Boy brought news that would only add to his already full plate of life’s problems.
“Hey, man,” Big Boy called. “What’s shakin’?”
“You don’t want to know, man,” Preacher said. “Believe me, you don’t.”
Big Boy followed him into the funeral home and to his office. After the door was closed, Big Boy said, “You can tell me, man. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
Preacher did know it. Big Boy, unlike his new Christian family, was there to support him in his time of need. He told him about Tanya taking the boys.
“That’s low,” Big Boy said. “A woman shouldn’t pull no trick like that on her man. What you gonna do?”
“I have to find them, man,” he said. “I have to get my boys back.”
“I’m feeling you, man,” Big Boy said. “Now that I’ve finished up the first job you gave me, I can help with this one.”
“You found out who set me up?”
Big Boy nodded. “You’ll never guess. Not in a million years.”
Preacher didn’t have time for games. “Who was it?”
“Andre Davis, the guy that owns Circle Autos.”
Preacher opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Word is he’s been seeing your sister, but I guess you already know that.”
Preacher nodded. How could this be? he wondered. “Why?” he asked. “I didn’t even know the guy until recently.”
Big Boy shrugged. “You’ll have to ask your sister.”
After giving Big Boy the okay to start looking for Tanya and the boys, Preacher headed over to his sister’s. He could only imagine what she was planning. In their last conversation, she’d made it clear that Andre didn’t mean that much to her. And that was before she knew of his betrayal. Preacher prayed he got to her before she got to Andre. He didn’t need any more complications in his life.
Loretta greeted him warmly when he entered her apartment. “Come on in,” she said, leading him to the couch. “What brings you by? Missing your little sister?”
He sat in the chair across from her. “What do you have planned for Andre?” he asked.
She got up. “I need a soda. Do you want one?”
He followed her into the kitchen. “Big Boy told me today that Andre was the one who set me up. He also told me that you know. What do you plan to do about it?”
She pulled two cans of Coke out of the refrigerator. She handed one to him and took one for herself. She popped the top and took a swallow. When she lowered her can, she said, “Don’t ask me again if you don’t want me to tell you.”
Preacher lowered his can and set it on the counter. “Don’t do something crazy, ’Retta. I know how your mind works.”
She left the kitchen and he followed her back to living room, where they sat again. “Our minds used to work alike,” she said. “I’m going to do the same thing you would have done, what you should have done.”
Preacher pointed his finger at his sister. “I don’t need this right now,” he said. “Tanya has left me and taken the boys with her.”
Loretta jumped up, eyes blazing. “No, she didn’t. Tell me that crazy woman did not take your kids, my nephews. Just who does she think she’s messing with?” She stared down at her brother. “She thinks you’re weak, Preacher. She never would have done this a couple of years ago. Now she feels she has an advantage over you. What are you going to do about her?”
“I’m trying to figure that out, ’Retta. Don’t you think I’m trying to figure that out?”
Loretta sat down. She leaned toward her brother. “Okay, look at where this church stuff has gotten you. Your woman has disrespected you in the worst way possible and you don’t know what to do about it. Well, I know what to do about it. If you won’t take care of this, I’ll take care of it. Tanya knows not to mess with me.”
Preacher didn’t even consider telling Loretta that Tanya had dropped a dime on her to Barnard. That would surely send his sister off. He’d have to find a way to tell her to watch her back without revealing Tanya’s role. “Leave Tanya and the boys to me, Loretta. I mean it.”
“I hear you,” his sister said, settling back against the couch.
“I mean it,” he said again.
She tipped her can back and took another swallow. “You’ve got to handle your business, Preacher.”
“I’m handling it,” he said.
“Right.”
Her sarcasm was too much for him to deal with. “I’m concerned about my kids, Loretta.”
“So am I, only I’m willing to do something about it.”
“Something like what?” he asked. “You’ll do something that’ll get my kids taken away from me for good. I won’t risk it.”
She set her soda can on the table next to her. “I’d never do anything to hurt you and the boys. I’ll just put Tanya in her place.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” he asked.
“I get that somebody needs to give little Miss Tanya a reality check.”
He pinned her with his eyes. “Maybe you’re the one who needs the reality check.”
Loretta sat forward. “What do you mean by that?”
“Look, Loretta, Tanya does have the upper hand. She has the law on her side. She goes to court and she gets sole custody of my kids. Easy. She may even get a restraining order or something. She’s a loose cannon right now.”
Loretta frowned. “It won’t go that far.”
“I won’t risk it.�
�
“Tanya’s not exactly mother of the year material,” Loretta said, with a sneer. “You could get custody.”
Preacher sighed deeply, fighting impatience with his sister. “Be realistic, Loretta. Let’s say Tanya and I went to court and the judge decided neither of us were great parents. Who do you think would get custody of my kids? You, my closest relative, who also happens to be a drug dealer, or Maylene, the beauty shop owner, Tanya’s closest relative? And you know how much Maylene hates me. I don’t want her raising my boys.”
“It won’t come to that, Preacher. I’ll take care of Tanya.”
Preacher leaned forward and put a hand on one of his sister’s knees. “You will not have any contact with Tanya. You will leave her to me. I’m serious, Loretta. You go after her in any way and I’m no longer your brother.”
She brushed his hand away. “You’re not serious.”
“I’m deadly serious,” he said. “Your way doesn’t work for me anymore. I’ve tried to tell you but you won’t listen. Don’t try to help me. Think about helping yourself. Get out of this business, Loretta, before it’s too late. The walls are closing in,” he said. “I can feel it.”
“I don’t believe you’d cut me off.”
He met her gaze and held it. “For the sake of my boys, I would. I love you, Loretta, but not at the expense of my kids. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
“But I’m your family, too.”
“Then act like it,” he said. “Act like we mean something to you. Do something to help me get my kids legally. You can’t help me as long as you’re walking boldly on the wrong side of the law. You’re a danger to me and my kids. I’ve closed my eyes to it long enough.”
“I guess I know where I stand then,” Loretta murmured. “Never trust a man who says he loves you, even if it’s your brother.” She looked at him, her eyes damp with unshed tears. “Andre said he loved me,” she said. “He set you up because he wanted me all to himself. He said I’d never give another man the time of day as long as you were around. He showed his love for me by betraying me. Crazy, huh? What’s even crazier is that you’re doing the same thing.”
Up Pops the Devil Page 26
